7.5 - Mr Fanservice + Painful Stupidity
Q welcomes you back to the Sutherland ISBI.
Quinton: Don't eat me, VR!
Summer: Wha - I won? Yay! OW! Stop it, you damn wishing well! Can we go inside please, I'm burning out here!
As you wish, dear TH.
Summer: And I will RISE, taking all your blood, using my weird magic to bend you to MY will. Anarchy, I call it, and the rise of the vampires - ow! Why do all the household objects want to hurt me?
You stabbed it.
Computer: Unfair, right?
Summer: What, he told you you shouldn't have another kid or something?
Anvi:...Shut up.
On the home stretch of parties here!
Summer: *growl* Goddammit Akira your CLOTHES, I will shred them-
Quinton: Now, now. Let's be a good hostess, Summer!
Akira: Aha, she's so funny when she's mad.
Summer: I will bite your neck, bitch!
Kingston: Oh not again! I don't like the taste of plaster!
Norma: Oh dear...
Olive: You stole my pyjama idea, A-loser.
Lucas: Aw. She sounds so proud of that insult. Let her have it.
Akira: No, shut up! This was my idea first, little girl. And shouldn't you be in school?
Olive: Your point being? Obviously I need to spread around my cutting-edge ideas for fashion at these parties more than I need to be at school!
Lucas: Oh, just hope you're not invited regularly.
Akira: Word.
Olive: Still my idea.
Akira: You were like a foetus when I came up with this.
Olive: Hmmph.
Norma: Haha, you drink blood! Like a cannibal!
Summer: Technically I'm not your species anymore.
Rachel: I'll just stare into the bookshelf until this is over.
Annabelle: Dinner and a show, huh?
Paolo: Well, I was eating, and now I really don't want to. Congratulations. You ruined everything good about these franks and beans.
Jordon: I'm OK with this.
Amara: Ew.
Jordon: What? Actually, I'm more than OK with this.
Amara: Aha. Wait. I can tell Cousin (once-removed) Elin. HA.
Later...
Elin: He said WHAT?
Sort it out at home. Party's over, all of you out.
One of the more uneventful parties. Sometimes, however, that's for the best.
Victor: I want to meet my character any day now. How about you?
Darin: I hope to be able to afford to hire mine!
Hello Mr Fanservice.
(If there are any fans).
Dina: A dive bar. Real classy, Summer.
Summer: Relax. It's happy hour!
Dina: Well I'm not happy.
Bella: Then put drinks in your body and stop whinging.
Victor: Exactly. That's the only reason I'm here.
Grace: Nice to see you at this joint, boss. And by the way, I did NOT move those files.
Victor (Reaper): I wouldn't expect anything else from you, Grace.
Grace: And there's my lovely nephew.
(She's married to Alexander Goth and she's wearing the politician suit, I'm making assumptions)
Aahana: So from one sexy astronaut to another...well, an average astronaut, where are your eyebrows?
Malik (Goth kid): Haha. You're not the first one to say that to me.
Aahana: And I won't be the last, man. Get some threading, it's not that hard.
Darin: I'm just gonna lay low for a bit...
Saya: Ooh. Who'd you see?
Darin: That Aahana chick.
Saya: Yeah. She's a bit weird though. Objectively, you have a fantastic body, so I kind of see it...
Adrianna: Me too! Want a double happy hour discount?
Saya: So about your brother...
Lilith: Oh, very married. You can have his number though.
Malik: *muttering* No eyebrows...I'll show 'em all!
Candy: It's me! 'Sup bitches! I've got my handy party apron on, and I am ready to GO! Say, young man, you're in need of something only I can get to ya!
Malik: Let me guess. You're an EYEBROW THREADER.
Candy: No. But I know a guy, he'll do it for half the usual retail price...my thing is the party pills. I've got lots.
Darin: She's gone to the toilet! I can PARTY!
Bella: Hot damn I could watch all day.
Stefanie: Damn, if I look, I'm a hypocrite...oh I'll sneak one.
Sebastian (astronaut dude in background): Not really into it...
Victor: Please, no-one's that straight.
Dina: So you're into this?
Victor: Shut up.
Sebastian: Nope. Not going to get into you.
Victor: But then I could meet my character!
Darin: OH. Oh shit dude.
Sebastian: Yeah. I'd meet your character, and never get to be mine.
Victor: Oh come on. Take one for the team.
Dina: That never works. Paolo punctured my liver and I'm still alive. How could you be that dumb?
Stefanie: To drink or not to drink...
Candy: Your foetus! Even I have standards, dammit.
Stefanie: You tried to sell me last chapter!
Candy: For consumption post-foetus-expulsion!
Dina: I'm telling you not to do it, Saya! Don't buy from Candy! I woke up next to Mila Munch-now-Straud with no money and peanut butter in my hair.
Saya: But I wanna bite a neeeeeeeccckk!
Dina: You have a wife, ask her!
Saya: Bella is looking at Mr Musclehead over there.
Dina: Um, he went to the bar. Aahana got back so he had to leave the dance floor.
Stefanie: And I heard you ask Lilith for Caleb's number...
Saya: So you're the wife...
Stefanie: Yeah.
Candy: Awkward.
Caleb: Is someone talking about me?
Darin: Dude, shut up. We have bigger problems.
Aahana (astronaut): O__O Hi.
Avani (hotdog princess): A-ha! CAUGHT!
Darin: Thanks for that. I didn't know!
Summer: Lovely costume, Caleb.
Caleb: House.
Summer: I'm getting to it.
Caleb: Also, you could look at me when you talk to me.
Summer: Hush. You're very sweet and fairly cute, but my eyes are on someone else.
Malik: I'm undera-
Summer: Oh not you. You're kind of my nephew, eyebrow-less and...yeah. Just no.
Fredrick: Is it me?
Summer: What the shit? It's not you either. You're also underage, and you're behind me. Jeez, is there stupid-juice in our water?
Caleb: Didn't you drink that water too?
Summer: SHUT IT. My attentions are on someone else.
Bella: We all know who it is...
Summer: ...yeah, I'm no better than Aahana.
Aahana: Of course. No-one is, in the end...
Darin: Oh for f - I'm married!
Sorry Darin.
Candy: Lemme just find a pocket-
Dina: No, dammit, I'm not storing anything for you-
Candy: If you want me to delete the video you will.
Dina: What video - I'm not hanging out with you again, I swear.
Candy: They all say that.
Lilith: Well, my work is done.
Dina: What did you do?
Lilith: You'll see when Stefanie calls you whining that someone random called Caleb.
Saya: Yeah! Celebration chips! I have the sacred digits!
Caleb: So are you the person sending me the weird texts? Unknown number?
Avani: Nope. I'm happily married to...actually, I think it might be your cousin, Summer. Luka?
Summer: The stringbean? Ha.
Caleb: Can't you guys focus? I need to get to the bottom of this.
Summer: We'll do that next time.
Caleb: Really...
Summer: There's gonna be a few more next times.
Quinton: Y'know I'm GREAT at video games!
Glass: Dork. So am I, though.
Quinton: Well I'm on Level 46 of the R.E.F.U.G.E. and where are you?
Glass: A measly Level 42. Remember my Blicblock high-score and exactly how high it is?
Apparently Tonya the soulless Lexie child (I think we met her back in Q's generation, Chapter 7.11?) has grown up to have a horrible dress sense, and a new husband.
Same with Jami the shit-stirrer (though her outfit looks way better).
Wait my mistake, Maki's a woman.
Kingston: Freedom!
Elin: Hmmm.
Jordon: Come on Elin, just be happy for our son...
Elin: You will be back...
Hey Q!
Quinton: Hello bottle, my old friend...
K...
Quinton: And it's dark too. HA!
Summer:...I'm a pretty horrible parent, aren't I?
A little. Q is better friends with Danika than you are.
Summer: Well f*ck. That's sad.
Indeed.
Summer: Well, I've got all the time in the world. And so does she. That kid's never ageing. I'll go bond with her now.
Summer: So is this how you...
Danika: Who ARE you again?
Summer: Is this it? Why are these things so damn short? My knees are stiff.
You're biologically in your twenties. Your knees are fine, chill the f out.
Danika: So you're my adoptive mother? Great! Thanks for bonding with-
Summer: We cool, kid?
Danika: Uh, yeah, sure-
Summer: Awesome. Bye bye now, Mama's got a party to plan.
Summer: Get out of there, you're going to ruin the wickerwork!
Danika: *sigh* I'm a little stuck.
Summer: So? Do it somewhere else, I'm busy being an awesome homemaker!
Alejandra: Oh great, I've been invited to one of these.
Amara: At least your randomised party outfit looks alright!
Alejandra: Yes, honey, and no-one wants to look at yours!
Look, we have a newbie! It's Grace, who wasn't invited last time, but was at the bar anyway. So we introduced ourselves, and wham-bam, here she is.
Grace: It's not Grace. Grace is at home with a terrible case of llama flu. This is Ottie McHatperson. She's attending the party.
So she called in sick...
Oh, look, it's Ashby. Who hasn't been invited in a while, but oh well, she's here anyway and that's great.
Ashby: I am pregnant AS SHIT.
Good for you. Get in the house and dance or some shit.
Jasper: GODDAMMIT SUMMER you said that other time was the last one!
Grace: Hi. It's me. Ottie McHatperson.
Kingston: I am Kingston, I am an adult, I do the marriage!
Ashby: He doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about, right?
Megan: I know more than I should. But that's because I live in a tiny townhouse with two adult couples who are...let's call it lover-ish.
Jasper: So you come here often?
Megan: Creepy comment, Uncle Jasper. ...Make more of them. It's fun.
Alejandra: Shut up, kid. Hey, why are you even drinking that, she spiked it?
Jasper: That's the whole reason we're drinking it, right? And I wasn't being funny. Do you come here often?
Alejandra: Well I coul-
Jasper: Take my place! Take my place!
Summer C: How much longer do you want me to keep my neck like this? I know you wanna see the nice necklace, but this position hurts-
Kingston's thoughts: You will not steal from her! You swore to Guadalupe you would turn your back on Mother's ways! But how, when he would love that necklace so much?
Summer S: Grab it now, doofus. Or dance. Either way, just do something more party-ish before I come over here and smack you.
Del: That bear is mine.
Eliza: This party bitch better start paying me for this!
HA. Good f*cking luck.
Megan: Is she going to drink you again? That was FUN.
Matt: I...I really hope not...
Summer: Well damn Matt and Megan. Now you've just put that idea in my head.
Matt: Oh damn.
Megan: And thus my plan worked. It's so funny when you do that, cousin Summer!
Quinton: Don't eat me, VR!
Summer: Wha - I won? Yay! OW! Stop it, you damn wishing well! Can we go inside please, I'm burning out here!
As you wish, dear TH.
Summer: And I will RISE, taking all your blood, using my weird magic to bend you to MY will. Anarchy, I call it, and the rise of the vampires - ow! Why do all the household objects want to hurt me?
You stabbed it.
Computer: Unfair, right?
Summer: What, he told you you shouldn't have another kid or something?
Anvi:...Shut up.
On the home stretch of parties here!
Summer: *growl* Goddammit Akira your CLOTHES, I will shred them-
Quinton: Now, now. Let's be a good hostess, Summer!
Akira: Aha, she's so funny when she's mad.
Summer: I will bite your neck, bitch!
Kingston: Oh not again! I don't like the taste of plaster!
Norma: Oh dear...
Olive: You stole my pyjama idea, A-loser.
Lucas: Aw. She sounds so proud of that insult. Let her have it.
Akira: No, shut up! This was my idea first, little girl. And shouldn't you be in school?
Olive: Your point being? Obviously I need to spread around my cutting-edge ideas for fashion at these parties more than I need to be at school!
Lucas: Oh, just hope you're not invited regularly.
Akira: Word.
Olive: Still my idea.
Akira: You were like a foetus when I came up with this.
Olive: Hmmph.
Norma: Haha, you drink blood! Like a cannibal!
Summer: Technically I'm not your species anymore.
Rachel: I'll just stare into the bookshelf until this is over.
Annabelle: Dinner and a show, huh?
Paolo: Well, I was eating, and now I really don't want to. Congratulations. You ruined everything good about these franks and beans.
Jordon: I'm OK with this.
Amara: Ew.
Jordon: What? Actually, I'm more than OK with this.
Amara: Aha. Wait. I can tell Cousin (once-removed) Elin. HA.
Later...
Elin: He said WHAT?
Sort it out at home. Party's over, all of you out.
One of the more uneventful parties. Sometimes, however, that's for the best.
Victor: I want to meet my character any day now. How about you?
Darin: I hope to be able to afford to hire mine!
Hello Mr Fanservice.
(If there are any fans).
Dina: A dive bar. Real classy, Summer.
Summer: Relax. It's happy hour!
Dina: Well I'm not happy.
Bella: Then put drinks in your body and stop whinging.
Victor: Exactly. That's the only reason I'm here.
Grace: Nice to see you at this joint, boss. And by the way, I did NOT move those files.
Victor (Reaper): I wouldn't expect anything else from you, Grace.
Grace: And there's my lovely nephew.
(She's married to Alexander Goth and she's wearing the politician suit, I'm making assumptions)
Aahana: So from one sexy astronaut to another...well, an average astronaut, where are your eyebrows?
Malik (Goth kid): Haha. You're not the first one to say that to me.
Aahana: And I won't be the last, man. Get some threading, it's not that hard.
Darin: I'm just gonna lay low for a bit...
Saya: Ooh. Who'd you see?
Darin: That Aahana chick.
Saya: Yeah. She's a bit weird though. Objectively, you have a fantastic body, so I kind of see it...
Adrianna: Me too! Want a double happy hour discount?
Saya: So about your brother...
Lilith: Oh, very married. You can have his number though.
Malik: *muttering* No eyebrows...I'll show 'em all!
Candy: It's me! 'Sup bitches! I've got my handy party apron on, and I am ready to GO! Say, young man, you're in need of something only I can get to ya!
Malik: Let me guess. You're an EYEBROW THREADER.
Candy: No. But I know a guy, he'll do it for half the usual retail price...my thing is the party pills. I've got lots.
Darin: She's gone to the toilet! I can PARTY!
Bella: Hot damn I could watch all day.
Stefanie: Damn, if I look, I'm a hypocrite...oh I'll sneak one.
Sebastian (astronaut dude in background): Not really into it...
Victor: Please, no-one's that straight.
Dina: So you're into this?
Victor: Shut up.
Sebastian: Nope. Not going to get into you.
Victor: But then I could meet my character!
Darin: OH. Oh shit dude.
Sebastian: Yeah. I'd meet your character, and never get to be mine.
Victor: Oh come on. Take one for the team.
Dina: That never works. Paolo punctured my liver and I'm still alive. How could you be that dumb?
Stefanie: To drink or not to drink...
Candy: Your foetus! Even I have standards, dammit.
Stefanie: You tried to sell me last chapter!
Candy: For consumption post-foetus-expulsion!
Dina: I'm telling you not to do it, Saya! Don't buy from Candy! I woke up next to Mila Munch-now-Straud with no money and peanut butter in my hair.
Saya: But I wanna bite a neeeeeeeccckk!
Dina: You have a wife, ask her!
Saya: Bella is looking at Mr Musclehead over there.
Dina: Um, he went to the bar. Aahana got back so he had to leave the dance floor.
Stefanie: And I heard you ask Lilith for Caleb's number...
Saya: So you're the wife...
Stefanie: Yeah.
Candy: Awkward.
Caleb: Is someone talking about me?
Darin: Dude, shut up. We have bigger problems.
Aahana (astronaut): O__O Hi.
Avani (hotdog princess): A-ha! CAUGHT!
Darin: Thanks for that. I didn't know!
Summer: Lovely costume, Caleb.
Caleb: House.
Summer: I'm getting to it.
Caleb: Also, you could look at me when you talk to me.
Summer: Hush. You're very sweet and fairly cute, but my eyes are on someone else.
Malik: I'm undera-
Summer: Oh not you. You're kind of my nephew, eyebrow-less and...yeah. Just no.
Fredrick: Is it me?
Summer: What the shit? It's not you either. You're also underage, and you're behind me. Jeez, is there stupid-juice in our water?
Caleb: Didn't you drink that water too?
Summer: SHUT IT. My attentions are on someone else.
Bella: We all know who it is...
Summer: ...yeah, I'm no better than Aahana.
Aahana: Of course. No-one is, in the end...
Darin: Oh for f - I'm married!
Sorry Darin.
Candy: Lemme just find a pocket-
Dina: No, dammit, I'm not storing anything for you-
Candy: If you want me to delete the video you will.
Dina: What video - I'm not hanging out with you again, I swear.
Candy: They all say that.
Lilith: Well, my work is done.
Dina: What did you do?
Lilith: You'll see when Stefanie calls you whining that someone random called Caleb.
Saya: Yeah! Celebration chips! I have the sacred digits!
Caleb: So are you the person sending me the weird texts? Unknown number?
Avani: Nope. I'm happily married to...actually, I think it might be your cousin, Summer. Luka?
Summer: The stringbean? Ha.
Caleb: Can't you guys focus? I need to get to the bottom of this.
Summer: We'll do that next time.
Caleb: Really...
Summer: There's gonna be a few more next times.
Quinton: Y'know I'm GREAT at video games!
Glass: Dork. So am I, though.
Quinton: Well I'm on Level 46 of the R.E.F.U.G.E. and where are you?
Glass: A measly Level 42. Remember my Blicblock high-score and exactly how high it is?
Apparently Tonya the soulless Lexie child (I think we met her back in Q's generation, Chapter 7.11?) has grown up to have a horrible dress sense, and a new husband.
Same with Jami the shit-stirrer (though her outfit looks way better).
Wait my mistake, Maki's a woman.
Kingston: Freedom!
Elin: Hmmm.
Jordon: Come on Elin, just be happy for our son...
Elin: You will be back...
Hey Q!
Quinton: Hello bottle, my old friend...
K...
Quinton: And it's dark too. HA!
Summer:...I'm a pretty horrible parent, aren't I?
A little. Q is better friends with Danika than you are.
Summer: Well f*ck. That's sad.
Indeed.
Summer: Well, I've got all the time in the world. And so does she. That kid's never ageing. I'll go bond with her now.
Summer: So is this how you...
Danika: Who ARE you again?
Summer: Is this it? Why are these things so damn short? My knees are stiff.
You're biologically in your twenties. Your knees are fine, chill the f out.
Danika: So you're my adoptive mother? Great! Thanks for bonding with-
Summer: We cool, kid?
Danika: Uh, yeah, sure-
Summer: Awesome. Bye bye now, Mama's got a party to plan.
Summer: Get out of there, you're going to ruin the wickerwork!
Danika: *sigh* I'm a little stuck.
Summer: So? Do it somewhere else, I'm busy being an awesome homemaker!
Alejandra: Oh great, I've been invited to one of these.
Amara: At least your randomised party outfit looks alright!
Alejandra: Yes, honey, and no-one wants to look at yours!
Look, we have a newbie! It's Grace, who wasn't invited last time, but was at the bar anyway. So we introduced ourselves, and wham-bam, here she is.
Grace: It's not Grace. Grace is at home with a terrible case of llama flu. This is Ottie McHatperson. She's attending the party.
So she called in sick...
Oh, look, it's Ashby. Who hasn't been invited in a while, but oh well, she's here anyway and that's great.
Ashby: I am pregnant AS SHIT.
Good for you. Get in the house and dance or some shit.
Jasper: GODDAMMIT SUMMER you said that other time was the last one!
Grace: Hi. It's me. Ottie McHatperson.
Kingston: I am Kingston, I am an adult, I do the marriage!
Ashby: He doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about, right?
Megan: I know more than I should. But that's because I live in a tiny townhouse with two adult couples who are...let's call it lover-ish.
Jasper: So you come here often?
Megan: Creepy comment, Uncle Jasper. ...Make more of them. It's fun.
Alejandra: Shut up, kid. Hey, why are you even drinking that, she spiked it?
Jasper: That's the whole reason we're drinking it, right? And I wasn't being funny. Do you come here often?
Alejandra: Well I coul-
Jasper: Take my place! Take my place!
Summer C: How much longer do you want me to keep my neck like this? I know you wanna see the nice necklace, but this position hurts-
Kingston's thoughts: You will not steal from her! You swore to Guadalupe you would turn your back on Mother's ways! But how, when he would love that necklace so much?
Summer S: Grab it now, doofus. Or dance. Either way, just do something more party-ish before I come over here and smack you.
Del: That bear is mine.
Eliza: This party bitch better start paying me for this!
HA. Good f*cking luck.
Megan: Is she going to drink you again? That was FUN.
Matt: I...I really hope not...
Summer: Well damn Matt and Megan. Now you've just put that idea in my head.
Matt: Oh damn.
Megan: And thus my plan worked. It's so funny when you do that, cousin Summer!
Summer: Nice, kid. Nice.
Newbie No. 2 is Rachid.
Rachid: These pants are fine, they said! You look unique, they said. Stupid f*cking salespeople.
Come on, game mechanics. In what world is this acceptable?
Summer C: Yeah! Lose that baby weight!
Ashby: Must...look...like...a...llama...
Summer C: Wait what?
Ashby: You saw my thought bubble!
Summer C: Wait what?
Ashby: You saw my thought bubble!
Megan: The rocket is my beeest friend...
Margot: Seriously...
Delphina: Yes. Summer's irresponsible. We know.
Margot: I don't give a shit. Just get this peon child out of my sight. She's ruining my vibes.
Delphina: Yeah, whatever...
Delphina: MEGAN, GET - you get the kid, Matt!
Max: It's MAX, and screw off! I don't even wanna be here!
Delphina: Neither do I!
Max: You're her aunt!
Delphina: Did I ask to be?
Jasper: Spiked spaghetti, get in my mouth!
Summer: What the- I didn't spike it!
Lilith: Does seem like a thing you would do...
Summer: I spiked the lemonade, dumbass. Don't get salty because you didn't get any.
Jasper: Well I can taste the tequila and I must say, I'm loving it!
Matt: Guilty...
Summer: Seriously? What happened to only one spiked edible?
Matt: Well, that lemon shit was a drinkable technically..
Summer: Shut up.
Matt: Well, that lemon shit was a drinkable technically..
Summer: Shut up.
Eliza: This dancing physically hurts.
Rachid: Don't I know you? From the office? Is it Gertrude?
Grace: No, no. I don't work anywhere weird like that. It's just me, Ottie McHatperson.
Rachid: Huh. There's a Grace, and she has the same hairstyle. What a copycat, am I right, Ottie?
Grace: Mmmmm...
Grace: Mmmmm...
Eliza: Oh the stupid hurts as well! Why am I here?
Because Summer, the game mechanics and I conspired to bring you.
Summer C: Can I have my wallet back?
Kingston: We need money for dat marriage, tho.
Summer C: Ohhhh my God. I'm just leaving...
Kingston: Anyway, your husband is downstairs acting like an idiot so...
Summer C: Fine. I'll stay up here. I don't know him, wink wink. But I will get that wallet back, you little shit...
Quinton: I cannot STAND to look at you!
Del: Oh my God, fine, I'll go shopping!
Quinton: NO. Not that! Do you really think an outstanding brother such as myself would judge his sister on clothing? Wear what you want. Just don't insult my friends.
Del:...
Quinton: THE BOTTLES.
And with that interaction (because Q was set as a host), the main goal of the party was completed and we got a silver. Whoo! I think this chapter is over as well.
Score Sheet- 5 (no change, still stuck here, *sigh*)
Single Births (18) +90
Twin Births (3) +30
Aspiration Tiers (58) +290
Aspiration (7) +70
Grade A (5) +25
Randomising everything for 1 gen (3) +30
Not using spare's satisfaction points (4) +40
Not using spare's satisfaction points (4) +40
Every 100,000 simoleons (4) +80
Immortalise TH (1) +5
Immortalise TH (1) +5
Pass Out (90) -450
Self Wetting (25) -125
Fires (8) -80
Fires (8) -80
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