Verbena invited a kid home from school.
Curtis: Jesus H Christ all of you stink.
Quill: Not me I'm a clean boy *eyebrow wiggle*
Jasmine: That's it. Chase off Bean's prospects. It'll be funny.
Curtis: Gross, I'm your COUSIN! Second cousin, but come ON-
Verbena: Yeah, no. Ew. I'm gonna go shower and also make sure my sister's alive.
Jasmine: I'm right here-
Verbena: The other one!
Verbena: I can probably see from inside this thing, right?
Paprika: Whee, I found this in the toilet!
...I feel bad for her now. Why can't she stay in daycare until Lichen is back.
Just 1.5hours longer, kiddo.
Paprika: Oh come on!
A large part of me is rooting for Freesia and Lilith to get together.
Celia: This doesn't feel right...Quill was never this exact size.
Paprika: So are you gonna do anything or-
Celia: This human world, so full of strange changes-
Shashka: Hmm...smells like a nappy and also piss.
Paprika: *snores while neglected*
Curtis:...Yeah I'm not coming back to Cousin Verbena's house again. Is that baby alright?
Shashka: I think she's breathing. Come sniff this triceratops toy with me.
Curtis:...I'll pass.
Curtis: Fuck you cat for trying to poison me.
Shashka: Hey maybe someone should grab that baby.
Curtis:...yeah, cos I really needed to go.
What the shit Curtis, the one downstairs is definitely free.
Shashka: Oooh look I'm a dumb human I'm SHITTING outside the box.
Curtis: *sniff, sniff* Mr Lichen this isn't what it looks like, don't hurt me.
Lichen: Boy I don't care. I can't leave anything up to these morons can I?
Paprika: *licks foot*
Lichen: Don't do that. We hardly know where he's been.
Bluebell, still dressed in her winter gear apparently, got pregnant with this guy.
Who was actually someone I was considering for Verbena later on. I guess not now, as he's almost an uncle.
For fuck's sake I had your dad tell you to go to bed.
Jasmine: Fuck that the gains need gaining.
Verbena: Oof, the tension is weighing on me. This life is too stressful I tell you. Can I book a massage?
Jasmine: Hey Verbena how are you and those little noodle arms-
Verbena: What about your noodle everything, call me when you hit puberty-
Jasmine: We share a room dumbass. And I'm gonna make it hell.
Verbena: I am not in the mood, one wrong move and you're dying tragically young by pillow-
Shashka: Could you bitches shut up and let me eat my breakfast in peace, damn.
Jasmine: Hey Paprika does situps better than you sis.
Verbena: Oh you wanna say that again?
Jasmine: Happily-
Celia: VERBENA you have been verbally abusing my son and it has to stop!
Verbena: Damn why don't you yell louder?
Celia: HAPPILY-
Lichen: Why don't you idiots leave the baby alone and fight in the hallway?!
Maricela: Maybe Aunt Caroline had a point when she asked why my baby apparently lived in the bathroom.
Shashka: Let's go swimming, triceratops.
Paprika: That thing really does smell weird.
Maricela: I really cursed her out...should probably apologise, right?
Maricela: You are what you eat, am I right?
Lichen: Don't insult my cat, wife.
Maricela: I mean come on, it was just a joke-
Lichen: I'm serious.
Later...
Verbena: You need to stop sleeping there, sis. We don't want Cousin Curtis to call social services.
Theresa the Triceratops: It's been so long...get me out of here.
Quill: Sooo is there a reason you're still here? You and Bean don't normally like standing this close to me.
Jasmine: Well yeah, there's a test on.
Quill: For...what?
Jasmine: Nah, we're gonna scare Bean when she comes out the bathroom. Now shh!
Celia: And my disguise has got all crinkly...I mean, oh no, wrinkles-
Quill: See there's an explanation for-
Verbena: Both of you can save it. I know there's something weird about you Celia. For one thing your son is purple.
Lichen: Thaaat's right, blow em out. Quill you're cleaning that up.
Quill: Worth it!
Lichen: Oh for- really, right now?!
Quill: Eh you are being kind of a dick.
Lichen: When am I not?!? Go clean up your confetti!
Paprika is clingy by the way. I guess a day of infanthood spent mostly in a wet bathroom will do that ot a kid.
She's very cute. Has Maricela's long face.
Paprika: If anyone asks me that stupid question-
Maricela: Ugh. Go away, hobo child.
Skye: But Miss please just one wig-
Celia got an adult makeover.
Celia: Seriously how did she grow all that hair so quick?
Paprika: Dadddd Celia's questioning logic again.
Shashka: Lol wall.
Celia: Seriously, there is so much that's very strange about this world. Ohhh, the stories I would tell you.
Lichen: God as long as I'm not stuck babysitting.
Paprika: Nobody love me?
Celia: Your father is very....y'know. Special.
Lichen: Up yours, Celia.
Paprika: Whee! I'm flying! Now hold me, hold me forever like this!
Lichen: This is not good for Dad's back.
Quill: Wow yeah this thing does smell like a bathroom. Gross. Oh well she can join me in the magical wavy princess pony carriage.
Theresa: Just get me out of here...
Maricela: Yeah, Quill, you don't have to play in here. My girls are all bark, no bite...what the hell are they gonna do - and stop looking up my skirt, boy.
Quill: It's Theresa?
Maricela: Try again.
Quill: I mean you did come in here and start rambling right next to me, where else do I look.
Even angry she's cute.
Verbena: I'm not cute and I'm more than angry! The next person I see is gonna catch some FISTS in the morning!
Paprika: Wow Mother can really bust a groove.
Lichen: Well of course, she's a special lady.
Maricela: Break it, break it down-
Shashka: Seriously, what in the everloving fuck did you do to this bathroom?
Maricela: Well we can't all have self-cleaning litterboxes that cost a fortunee can we? Let's just blame it on Quill.
Shashka: Like we do everything else, no?
Maricela: Yeah, you get it.
Verbena: You think you can fucking touch me?
Jasmine: Christ sis, you really did have something on your shirt. How could I not flick your nose?
Celia: It's in our brains, that stereo. Sucking our lives away. Is this truly our lives?
Maricela: Oh chill out and just let the beats take you, Celia-
Celia: But I wanna stay here I LIKE it-
Shashka: *obnoxious slurping*
Jasmine: And yet when I did this same thing, Dad hauled me away and called me feral.
Verbena: I just would like this random metal out of my foot-bones please.
Jasmine: Psh now she needs my help.
Followed Lichen to work today for some reason.
Lichen: Yeah all these kids' grades are beyond saving.
This is true. It unfortunately looks like they'll be ageing up with Cs across the board.
Lichen: Whatever, time to torment the coworkers!
Lichen: Damn all of you got old.
Crystal: Lichen can you fucking not I'm trying to work.
Lichen: Oh please I saw the Facebook tab, and I saw you very quickly click away. I'm kind of your boss now?
Crystal: Hey we have a great union I'm not retiring for shit.
Lichen: Oh no, we'll all die here.
Buckthorn: Lol so will I this air cant' be good to breathe in.
Good to see ya, Buck.
Lichen has to insult a 'tourist' - someone who doesn't work in the lab. I didn't want that to be his father-
Lichen: Lame.
-so it's gonna be these guys.
Case: Oh wow David, for me? You shouldn't have.
David: I just wanted to show how much I care, darling.
I feel bad ruining this.
Lichen: -and YOUR MOTHER-
Case: Hey if you've got beef, I'm out. I got bullied enough for my very prematurely greying hair!
David: But - I don't even know who this guy is!
Lichen: Somebody who fucked your mother!
No you didn't Lichen.
Lichen: How about you clean up around here.
Crystal: Dammit Lichen put that fucking thing away - and you, young man, save me the leftovers.
David: Maybe the super secret lab is a bad date location after all. Is he gonna turn the thing on me?
Lichen: If you save Crystal some leftovers.
David:...Sorry lady.
Crystal: You dick.
Lichen: Oh look I made a mansicle!
Eve:...I picked the wrong time to come back from break, huh.
Back at home...
Paprika: This is where we BELONG, Reesy.
Theresa: Oh just kill me.
Quill is scared for his life cos he's outside in the storm put...
Quill: Jumping in muddy puddles is so much fun! OHMYGOD that's another lightning strike heading our way! My heart is pounding.
Lichen: Sweet girl. Precious Shashka. My most treasured darling.
Jasmine: Some asshole locked the back door, I wonder how long it will take Dad to notice.
Lichen: Don't mind that faint whining, let me gently massage your coat.
Celia: On my way for my daily rainshower.
Lichen: Christ Celia we talked about this.
Jasmine: Egads can someone please let me in?!
Celia: I actually feel great!
Really.
Anyway Aspen is gonna be a grandma again. I think this is the third kid.
Maricela: Let's try this painting thing that Bean and Celia are always doing. Can't be that hard can it...now what should I put on this huge ass canvas?
Jasmine: Aaand...300...
Quill: Hahaha. Very good. Now tell me the answers to the science homework or I'm telling everyone you counted in tens.
Shashka: I want to break FREE
It's MORNING why are you still burnt.
Celia: Idk. Got busy. Do you think they'll notice at work?
Verbena: Do you brats fucking mind?
Jasmine: Yeah actually. This ribbon tastes cheap.
Verbena: How dare you, the CAS vendor said it was the finest silk sourced from-
Jasmine: Can I just have my birthday?
Wish granted!
Verbena: Christ kid you fuckin reek.
Paprika: Does anybody love me in this house? Like why was I born?
Verbena: Ooh that is such a question with such a sad and difficult answer. Let's just throw you in the bath. I'll put fun bubbles in.
Paprika:...Sure. Why not.
(4 months IRL pass from here)
Verbena:...aaand I'm bored. Wait. Crap. Better not let you drown.
Thanks Bean.
Verbena: Also Watcher you missed Jasmine's birthday.
Yeah IDK what I was doing I really took a long break there.
Verbena: Impressed I still remembered to give Paprika the bath then.
Paprika: And now food please.
Verbena: Dammit you sure need to eat a lot don't you?
Paprika: I am a growing girl.
Verbena: Well, me or that nutbag Celia I guess. She'd drop you out of the highchair.
So here's Jasmine. She really looks a lot like her dad, but with darker skin and definitely Maricela's nose.
Jasmine: Slay? I'm still so damn tired but Bean's makin' sandwiches.
In addition to being Active she is now a Cat Lover with the Bodybuilder aspiration.
Jasmine: Gains come tomorrow, I'm sleepy.
Lichen: Jesus Christ woman what happened to you?
Maricela: I'm so tired I think I'm gonna pass out can you-
Lichen: Oh hell no I'm staying over here.
Verbena: BTW I didn't fucking break it.
Lichen: Never said you did. In case you did though, go hose off your mother as punishment please.
Quill: Seems Mum's having a normal one.
Celia: Those rocks, those terrible terrible rocks, pink reminders of the Homeland, the place that cast me out!
Quill: Think Lichen put them out. 60% chance so he could fuck with your mental state.
Carson: I want to...suck blood? I have no idea what to do. Nobody ever taught me. Fuck I put on this nice apron for nothing.
Hmm I like this guy for a spouse option. Maybe for a non-blackhaired heir some day.
Carson: Like...a baby? What's wrong with you?
Lichen is trying to be old before his time it seems.
Lichen: *snort* Wha no I was totally gonna go up to bed-
Quill: I'm a total badass.
Sure, sneaking down to use the dollhouse?
Quill: Sure, sure, but I did just use Lichen's user profile to search 'boobs' and didn't even clear the history.
The next morning...
Verbena: God Mum you smell worse than the fridge Dad doesn't clean.
Maricela: I genuinely wonder why I don't just go back to bed sometimes.
No idea where Jasmine got her little chipmunk cheeks from but they are so cute.
Jasmine: *muffled* Go away I'm trying to get my gains on.
Verbena: Oh wow you stole my pyjama look, you little wannabe...
Jasmine: Uh, we control none of this. Gonna go on a run, try to change that.
Verbena: Yeah as if that's gonna do anything, you're still gonna move out of this house on your YA birthday and be thrown onto-
Jasmine: I actually think that's just you.
Verbena then went to troll the forums lmao.
Paprika: For freedom and liberty!
Verbena: How the hell did she get down there...and how did Dad know so many curse words as an eight-year-old?
Lichen did love his trolling. Being the Drifter kept him away from it.
Lichen: *upstairs dreaming of retirement*
Lichen: Oh for FUCK'S SAKE and this is why I've had that dream since Bean turned five!
Maricela: Could I and the bladder you kids weakened please use a different room?
Jasmine: Mum. Ew.
Celia: Yeah sorry about that.
Maricela: That's not...you did punch me in the spleen one time...don't worry Jas I almost pulled her hair out.
Celia: The clip keeps it all together at night.
Jasmine: Yeah I'm pretty sure this is a crime.
Celia: Come play with me!
Jasmine: Suuuper creepy.
Lichen: How DARE YOU-
Quill: You ain't my dad.
Celia: Yeah I'm sorry I think I've encouraged too much creativity-
Lichen:- I had a perfectly non-cringe browser history and you ruined it!
Celia: -ANYWAY, now they're gone can I just say I have been so damn sexually frustrated lately-
Maricela: Well shit I didn't know you felt that way. We could get you on Tinder?
Celia: But the secrets! The secrets! They'll all find out.
Maricela:...yeah but the purple kid in tow might spill the beans on its own.
Jasmine: Hey so when are you thinking of getting your stuff out of my room?
Verbena: Our room.
Jasmine: Not for long!
Verbena: Whatever, it's your turn to get Prika. Dad's entranced by his chessboard again.
That's gonna be a no from me.
Maricela: Basically me too, do not know WHERE that came from.
Verbena: Dance, dance, let's go!
Jasmine: I just feel like nobody sees me around here! Dad says that it's YOU who's going to fulfil his dreams!
Verbena:...yep, that's actually pretty true. He wants to retire and once I'm gone he'll pretty much stop paying attention to all of you. Whee, let's get down-
Maricela: Jesus Christ Celia the children are in the room.
Quill: Nope. No I'm not. I'm not here OK Maricela.
Paprika: Now this is new.
Maricela: Quill go pick her up I'm busy in my corner.
Quill: I already told you I'm not here.
Celia: I'm in the shower ok!
Jasmine: Oi. Oi. Those are my leftovers, ya know.
Verbena: Dad does all the cooking so as far as I know they belong to everyone.
Maricela: Oh let her have it. She'll be living off convenience store food and random pieces of fruit in a hot minute.
Verbena: Goddamn Celia can you do that somewhere else, I'm trying to enjoy my gnocchi.
Celia: *hissss* Away with you, girl child! I have...stuff to work on!
Verbena: Tinder profile? Traumatising my baby sister? Both?
Jasmine: Nice to talk to you too, Uncle Rusty.
Rusty: Yeah well I'm sick of this place and I'm gonna hide in the bathroom until my bus gets here.
Jasmine: How do you think I feel? Also take Paprika in there, it's definitely your turn.
Rusty: Hell no I've raised enough kids.
Jasmine: Hey what the fuck just happened in here.
Verbena: I dunno. I'll tell Dad, just go use the other one.
Jasmine: Uncle Rusty locked the fucking door on me.
Verbena: Wow. Sounds like a you problem then.
Shashka: Sniff...I smell the ghosts of babies past.
Jasmine: Why did I even come in here?
Lichen: To do bedtime? Cmon Jas. Do bedtime.
Paprika: Who IS that?
Maricela: That milkshake in the fridge made me feel really sick, Lichen-
Lichen: Dunno what you're on about, dear, I didn't make it.
Maricela: Wait. Did I eat one of the girls' cooking? Or worse, Celia?
Lichen: I'll set up hazard tape around one of the bathrooms.
Quill: Jesus how long was I out for?
From about 6pm to 3am?
Quill: That ain't good. Did I miss dinner? Stomach is eating itself.
We don't do scheduled meals here and you know that, grab something.
Quill: Eh. Wait, I forgot to text the house chat about Mum's stupid milkshakes...sure it's fine.
Not Lichen being caught in 4k here.
Lichen: Ohhh my god I'm so happy to see you! You're my favourite!
Shashka: Feed me you twat!
Lichen: I love you Shash <3
Lichen is finally an uncle.
Lichen: Overrated. I have a CAT.
Verbena woke up pissy.
Verbena: Is it TOO MUCH to ask to get ONE breakfast before you all kick me out into a field?
Maricela: You should have asked for noodles before I sat down, dear.
Verbena: I hate it here!
Maricela: I know, sweetie. You get it from me.
Lichen: Hey stop doing that, she won't be able to lick the floor.
Quill: I'm using the non toxic, I'm a rebel not EVIL-
Shashka: Thanks bestie
Lichen: So your last day of school is tomorrow, and you're almost at a B so-
Verbena: I would rather die than do homework.
Lichen: It's up to you sweetie!
Maricela: Lol weak.
Lichen: And those galleries you like want B grades at least.
Verbena: Yeah sure-
Lichen: It's true sweetheart. Wanna take a risk, possibly dying with your unfulfilled dreams, having wasted your life-
Verbena: FINE I'll do it if you leave me alone!
Celia is having a fun morning.
Celia: Yes that's it. Work it ladies, work it!
Jasmine: So why are you in here?
Verbena: Think about why you had to pick the lock to ask me that.
Jasmine: Well. I'm bored. Wanna go put glue in Quill's mop of a head or something?
Jasmine: You ever notice that Dad never painted Celia's room? It's like she's an alien in a cell!
Verbena: I really don't care, gotta fulfil dreams here. And this is Quill's.
Jasmine: That's actually kind of worse, lol.
Aw, Bean. Even when she's angry she's cute.
Maricela: Now listen here, even if you don't want to listen to your father, you better listen to me, young lady-
Verbena: Oh my GOD what's wrong with all of you, I'm already doing it!
Maricela: Also Quill's room is depressing, isn't it Bean?
Verbena: I'm going to fucking lose it.
Maricela: Not before you do your extra credit!
Verbena: Yeah nah that wasn't part of the deal. Also I need to hit a B in the basic stuff before they'll give me that crap.
Lichen:...You did your homework then!
Verbena: YES! *smash smash smash*
Lichen: Attagirl.
Lichen: JESUS lock the door, what is WRONG with all of you?
Paprika: Destroy destroy destroy! Just like Bean!
Paprika: Sniff, no, it's too much, my lil heart cannot take it anymore!
Jasmine: Seriously don't sweat it, running is where it's at, you did a good job.
Maricela: Prika you're so sweet to worry but nobody reads those books. And Jasmine, thank you for trying to cheer up your sister, it's kind. Such wonderful daughters.
Verbena: Well I'm the one doing something useful.
Paprika: So NOW is it my turn?
Quill: Nope, I am acting out all eight seasons of my mother's rambling soap opera she keeps under her bed, and you will not touch those dolls.
Paprika: It's not fair!
Verbena: You do have a problem with that thing, Quill.
Quill: Mum I have adult questions about season 5.
Celia: And...pose. What a cool dance, am I right Bean?
Verbena: Meh.
Jasmine: Still did it though, didn't you?
Celia: Actually...I hate dancing.
Verbena:...Wait WHAT it's all you do. Apart from strip off at inappropriate times.
Celia: The rain will bring me strength.
Quill: Well that's my Mum for ya. Let's rock out, Bean!
Celia: Well look who wore it worst?
Athena: Oh yeah but I definitely wore it first!
Celia:...Get off our lawn, we don't know you.
Trace: Hello there Celia.
Celia: GodDAMMIT this is not what I need right now.
Trace: Here to see my son I guess.
Athena: Oh come on man put a little heart into it.
Celia: YEAH - wait I still hate you, lady.
Trace: Well hello there, how has Lichen been treating you, Quill?
Quill: Pretty dismissive with constant complaining! Just like a member of the family.
Lichen: He's got my blunt honesty.
Quill: Well. Throwing about all of those ingredients was fun. Goodnight all!
Trace: That's my son for sure.
Verbena: Refusing to deal with what he creates? Yeah I see it.
Trace: Can't believe their baby is eating on such a chair like this...
Maricela: PAUSE! Hold up. Is this fool criticising my housekeeping?
Verbena: Nah. He's criticising Dad's.
Maricela: Oh I have heard enough out of you today-
Quill: That means keep going.
Verbena: You know it Quill, you irresponsible fuck. And you too Trace, you irresponsible fuck. Why don't you spend Sunday with your wife?
Buckthorn is here!
...Lichen is asleep.
Buckthorn: Not here for him, more to judge his decorating choices. What is this half-modern shit?
Lichen: No it's true Dad! I did so much science! I found aliens. I've talked and been talked to from space! I even located the individual horrible specimens who clearly fucked with your outfit!
Buckthorn: I should have encouraged you to be more like your mother.
Buckthorn: Fake, fake, double fake. That rocket is a large scale model. I did not raise this boy to surpass me!...Hurts the ego.
Aspen's daughter is pregnant.
Lichen:...Did I ever ask for cousins?
She also married this old ass man.
Aspen: That's it sweetie, get the house. And stay out of mine :)
Dominic: I'm 27!
(Truly did think he was old when I saw this)
Verbena: You having fun with that Mum?
Maricela: I truly may not miss you.
Verbena: Of course you won't. I'll teach Jasmine and Prika my ways.
Quill: Ew I think there's trash in here.
Shashka: What the fuck are you saying.
Quill: No I didn't mean-
Shashka: That is a good pile o'food and I will not have you disrespect it.
Quill: Uhhhh-
Lichen: You came in here kid, now it's your problem. Can't beLIEVE I had to fix the toilet again.
Verbena: Question everything. Remind her that Dad raised us more. Mock anything you can.
Jasmine: Yeah I already knew how to do this stuff with Bean.
Verbena: But I want her to see me spread the word.
Quill: Ugh why do I smell like this?
Verbena: Maybe because instead of showering you were panicked about a cat and a pile of repairs trash in the bathroom this morning.
Quill: The trash was in the way. I could have cut my foot!
Jasmine: You didn't have to sit next to ME on the bus home ya know.
Verbena: All of you shut up before my friend gets here.
Jasmine: Can't believe you invited that bitch over! God I hate everything.
Paprika is also socialising.
Paprika: Oh nooo, wah, I'm a SAD cat-
Shashka: Idk mate I'm actually pretty happy right now.
Quill: MUM you're - clothed. Nice.
Celia: I can smell you from over here son.
Jasmine: Yeah, scrub a little harder there why don't ya.
Suzanna: Worst choice of house ever.
Shashka: I could use a refill on the food too...
Lichen is finally done with the scientist career.
Lichen: NOW can I please have a fucking holiday?
Give us a few hours.
Paprika: Hey look now Quill. I'm the same size as you! Funny that...I'm getting to that dollhouse.
Quill: Eh. Realised I'm growing up soon so have at it, Prika.
Paprika: This is still a victory.
She's Neat with the Motor aspiration.
This is her makeover, which we will not see a lot of because Bean is growing up and leaving very soon. Still, she's cute. Reminds me a lot of how Bluebell, Lichen's much-littler sister, looked as a kid.
Trace: Don't you need to dust before you do any of that place setting?
Paprika: Already went over it with a damp sponge, old man.
Trace: So somebody is gonna keep my son's home clean then?
Paprika: Oh AS IF you care-
Verbena: Right. The big event. Just me and you, Shash.
Shashka: Well I'm not going anywhere am I?
And here she is! I let her roll her last trait which was Loyal, and her aspiration is still the painting one.
I also grew Quill up, it was almost his time anyway.
Paprika: Whee! Confetti! With glitter! I'll get it everywhere,
Quill: Damn I think I got handsome. Hey Bean if you do make a nice homestead-
Verbena: Don't go there. Did the hormones kick in already? Jeez.
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