We will start this chapter with Gimlet meeting with his spellcasters' club. He should have been doing this as a child according to the rules but considering he only just became a spellcaster...this is fine imo.
Gimlet: You're a spineless pale pathetic lot, and you haven't got a clue-
Mathew: Well here I thought we'd have a nice time here!
Jaleesa: Oh he's harmless. Mf is spouting Mulan lyrics.
Ricardo: Boi I'm just glad he didn't make fun of my greying bowlcut.
Gimlet: Maybe I will next time.
Gimlet: Jaleesa! It's good to see you in particular!
Jaleesa:...Do we even know each other?
Gimlet: Well we're sure to now. There's a little voice in my head telling me this is a good idea.
Mathew: There's one in my head telling me to go home. Shall we move on, twin?
Jaleesa: Don't be a killjoy Mat, what's a club meeting without a whacko or two?
Looks like Sprite's club still meets up. How cute!
Gimlet: Wow Auntie that's no way to get into it, yuh.
Sprite: I wanted to go to a San Myshuno wine club not this hick bar.
Jaleesa: Looks like someone's losing her power.
Ashlee: The boy is right! Dance with passion, darling!
Gimlet:...And these are the haircuts you could have had if your parents loved you.
Ricardo: Gee, thanks Gimlet.
Gimlet: You're welcome! I'll show you salon addresses next!
Gimlet: The stars are like a gate into a new world, even further beyond the spellcasters' realm, and more awesome. It is so good to watch them.
Ricardo:...Yeah, sure. But we could read some-
Gimlet: Let's just watch the stars, Ricardo. You are my favourite after all.
Ricardo: I...I am?
It was late and Gim got tired so I switched back to the main house.
Vermouth: Can a boy not read his mother's manuscripts to ensure they always stay best friends?
...You COULD but maybe you shouldn't.
The other kid isn't doing much better.
Kezia: Did you really just pick up that random half-eaten sandwich and chomp down on it?
Kahlua: You betcha, Granny Kez.
Kezia: Ew. No. I'm technically way more generations back. More to the point I saw the cat lick that bread.
Kahlua: Eh, what's the point in caring.
Kezia: I'm literally a slob. That's still gross as fuck.
Carl: What's up with you cat?
Tommy: Oh piss off I want Sangria.
Carl: No can do. I know she's soft on you-
Tommy: Wait hold on. That's hilarious. You think you're the bad cop?
Carl: Sure I am. I'm crazyyyy-
Feline's right, Carl.
In the morning San bound a Book of Life-
Sangria: Which you didn't even show me writing-
-to Gimlet.
Sangria: Not only is he the heir to this thing, he's 100% the kid who's most likely to die. Maybe I should write one for Carl, he does all those crazy experiments. And Kahlua likes pissing people off on purpose-
Well yeah.
Sangria: I have a lot of work to do.
Carl's doing pretty normal Carl stuff.
Carl: So I've stacked up all the parts and it looks like a tiny robot...OK fake robot tell me what to do.
Kahlua: Ugh, how bullshit that we slave away in the kitchen while our parents do random crap and Gimlet gets to be a wizard.
Vermouth: I dunno Lua :). Doing dishes is cleansing for the soul.
Kahlua: Oh go and be wholesome somewhere else.
Vermouth: I can't. Cos dishes.
Gimlet: Oh good. Someone's making breakfast for me.
Kahlua: That's what you think *spits*
Gimlet:...Or I'll just check the fridge.
Vermouth: Do you think we'll ever get to go on a plane?
Gimlet: Fuck a plane. I'll be crossing the world on a broomstick.
Kahlua: Cute that you think we'll do anything except die in the ground.
Gimlet: You can die in planes too. Go look that up Vermouth, maybe you'd be less happy.
Vermouth: Please. I'm not happy! It's called a facade.
Gimlet: Whatever. Did something actually die in here or is that just your hopes and dreams?
Kahlua: Dirty ghostly sink water and skunk-infested Tommy. As always.
Gimlet: If you wanna move out, just move out. I could use my own room.
Vermouth: C'mon I'm a great roommate.
Kahlua:...I'm calling sexism.
Gimlet: Well you've got the right hair, Kahlu-rella.
Vermouth: Who's her prince gonna be then?
Gimlet: Definitely not BOBBY!
Kahlua:...Too far.
Gimlet: Hey look I'm gonna do something really cool and-
Kahlua: Up yours.
Gimlet: Gasp! Consequences for my words? Who could have seen this coming, tiny sparkles?
Gimlet: If a boy discovers Zipzap but nobody's there to see it, did it happen at all?
...Yes. Yes you discovered a whole SECOND spell. Stop getting philosophical and practice MORE.
Knox: -aeroplanes are actually a tool of the climate-destroying bourgeoisie, and you should quash your interest in them immediately so. Now let me recommend you some blogs-
Vermouth: I know about the climate I've read textbooks.
Knox: Psh the system doesn't tell you the real shit.
Carl:...I'm not here. Robotics who?
Get to WORK you have skills to build and an exo suit to create.
Carl: Well damn if you told me that's what I was doing I would have got way more mechanisms done! Ugh, silly Watchers.
Sangria: Um, why is a shirtless radical talking to my son in the street?
Knox: Lady your kid approached me-
Vermouth: Yeah it's cool. Mr Knox, this is my Mum.
Knox: Wow, couldn't have figured that out.
Vermouth: She's my official best friend!
Sangria: What did we talk about, Vermouth?
Vermouth: I should stop saying that to everyone!
Gimlet: My God! Repairio? Really? That's what you're gonna brag a bout on your Spellstagram? Other spellcasters are so lame. I bet he doesn't even make proper sparkles.
Carl: Mentally, I'm on the beach.
Surely you should put a shirt on.
Carl: Eh. What's a few burn marks to the torso?
Vermouth: So do you like writing? My mum's a writer.
Knox: I only write radical columns under a pen-name. I also regularly protest the Willow Creek publishing house for its support of deforestation practices. Y'know, we really do need to talk about the environment-
Sangria:...Let's go home, I need to wash my cat.
Sangria:...Carl for the last time we wear shirts while on the engineering table. Also your trunks are covered in motor oil.
Carl: All part of the plan, dear.
Sangria: What plan, to work my last nerve?
Carl: Ladies love a tradesman.
Sangria:....This is doing something to me.
Knox: Right OK this house is so environmentally inefficient.
Gimlet: Heyyyy look it's half a nudist.
Vermouth: Me and Mum made a friend today.
Elisa: Oh did you now? You're a regular little chatterbox. Also I hate flirting.
Knox: Why would you say that to the kid tho.
Jaleesa: Um, your house attracts really weird people Gim.
Gimlet: Why do you think you got an invite?
Elisa: Oh snap.
Ricardo is here also.
Ricardo: *sniff sniff* I wanted to be alone here actually!
Kahlua: Unfortunately Grandma taught me how to sniff out human misery. So here I am. Also this is my mum's room dude. You really shouldn't be in here.
Gimlet: I'm so mad I could just punch a UNICORN!
Jaleesa: Nah those definitely aren't real.
Gimelt: What do you know about real? The magic energy in my brain wants to punch a unicorn and so I'm DOING IT.
Jaleesa:...Are you OK?
No, girl. He is not. It's also not on you it's that damn erratic trait.
Kahlua: Oooh still feeling down? I can sense your tears, little man.
Ricardo: She's a monster. What spell even is that?
Gimlet: No. Nonono. This is no spell, Ricardo. 'Tis is who she is as a PERSON. She will find your misery.
Kahlua: Why thank you, brother!
Gimlet: I literally learned scruberoo to avoid this crap.
Well I'm reserving that for real grimy messes, you're already charged up.
Gimlet:...I'm gonna beat the shit out of that unicorn again.
Blueni, in the nursery: Please, no-
Gimlet: Hey who's callin' me?
Gimlet: And so, we meet again Ricky.
Ricardo: Stop it and don't call me that. I'm not here for you anyway, I'm busy.
Gimlet: I can see. Ooh, is it a drug deal? Can I join?
Gimlet PLEASE just go to your duel.
Gimlet: Ah, he means to fight me.
Voice: No...I do.
It's Mack. Mack is the voice.
Gimlet: Oh, it's the dealer. Cool.
Dalton: I'm not a bloody drug dealer and I don't even know that bowl-cut kid.
Gimlet: Then why do you dress like one?
Dalton: Do you WANT to duel me because you're heading that-
Mack: Nah. He has an appointment. With me.
Gimlet: You're on lizard boy.
Gimlet: Get fucked!
Mack: *cough* I can do this all day!
Gimlet: Oh and he fights on! Watch me win, bois.
Rcardo: Ooh, is that the sky.
Dalton: Fuck off dude.
Mack: OK Gimlet I underestimated you please DON'T!
Gimlet: Being bad never felt so good. Wait. I lie. It's ALWAYS felt good!
Sangria: Gosh this beat is...sick! It's FUNKY!
Vermouth: Mum please even I can't defend that lameness.
Tommy: What? I'm guarding the boy. I must if he insists sleeping outside.
And?
Tommy: The bush too, yes. Fuck them squirrels.
Bellini's middle child and eldest daughter got pregnant.
I think Tommy does love our Gen 5 boys.
Tommy: As if. They really just do need the help.
Gimlet: *almost magically sets bedsheets on fire*
Vermouth: *tucks himself in too tight*
Gimlet: Maybe I should know Scruberoo. These hands are delicate.
Vermouth: Oh boy I do wish I could eat something other than air. I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me-
Gimlet: I don't know Delicioso yet.
Vermouth:...But you can cook.
Gimlet: But I won't.
Sangria: So...Delicioso? Scruberoo? Does this mean you'll finally do some chores?!
Gimlet: Now you're enthuse about my wizarding path, huh.
Sangria: I am practical, darling.
Gimlet: That's overrated.
Sangria please wear clothes. Jeez.
Gimlet: Yeah, especially cos your best friend Vermy is in this kitchen. Freudian much?
Prosecco: Well well well, I finally make an appearance...
Sangria: Don't break the fourth wall.
Prosecco:...an appearance in your life, Auntie San.
Sangria: Yeah, I've been busy.
Prosecco: And all your kids turned out to disappoint?
Carl: Um, hello, I kind of need to use the computers for-
Sangria: Don't interrupt me Carl I'm trying to make this young man confide in me.
Prosecco:...I don't want to talk about my 'weird marriage' with you, San.
Sangira:...just saying that, your sister has a baby on the way. You might have one if you hadn't married an old lady-
Prosecco: Maybe I don't want one. Maybe I'm happy with Nylah, Auntie San.
Sangria: I'm just SAYING.
Tommy:....Come play with me.
Gimlet:...Is there a reason we're at an abandoned nightclub and we couldn't just go to my house?
Jaleesa: Not really, I just think this place is kind of cool-
Gimlet: Because I do have homework, which is uncool but if I don't do it Mum won't let me skive off school to go to the Magic Realm-
Jaleesa:...Right, you're still a kid.
Gimlet: Not a KID-
Gimlet: Never call me a kid again, I just kicked your ass!
Jaleesa: God, alright! Weren't we doing a friendly duel for ingredients.
Gimlet: YES! I'm being friendly. Now gimme those cherries they look nice!
Gimlet: Heyyyy girl calm down. Not your fault you're terrible at magic.
Jaleesa: Jesus Christ Gimlet you are actually so fucking annoying-!
Gimlet: Oh yeah. I've been told.
Jaleesa: Shouldn't you LEARN something then?
Gimlet: I'm immune to that bb.
Gimlet: Oh, my two favourite people!
Ricardo: Wish I could say the same about you, Gim.
Jaleesa: I don't.
Gimlet: Aw, you're back. Can't stay mad at me.
Jaleesa: My emotional investment in you isn't enough for me to get properly mad. Also, sorry for yelling at you.
Gimlet: Oh, don't be! Given my erratic nature, I'll probably yell at you at some point. We can just square that off.
Jaleesa:...Great.
Gimlet: -but I'm hungryyyy
Sangria: Too bad. Finish your homework and then you can eat. You know when I was your age, if I'd gone off to a club for four hours on a school night I would have-
Gimlet: oh please! Grandma would NOT have noticed!
Sangria what are we painting there?
Sangria: It was supposed to be my Auntie Gin-Fizz, then I thought I could do a rough version of the Mona Lisa and now I don't even know.
Lux:...Honestly what have these people done with my legacy?
Eh it's fine.
Lux: Really? Who the hell is haunting in place of my real daughter then?
Tommy just stood at the desks and thought about this rainbowfish all night.
Tommy: I want to taste the rainbow.
And then the ghosts made cake again. Idk why this keeps happening, it's only this file.
Pepsi: -I'm telling you, I am genetically identical to Cola. She cloned me.
Lux: Psh. I'm still calling aliens. This is just a really good disguise.
Pepsi: You'll believe in aliens but not clones?
Lux: I'm literally blue. I've sen aliens. Never heard of this 'cloning' process you - or Cola - claim to have invented.
Carl:...I think my feet broke my pyjamas.
Sangira: Eh. No matter. We're both sexy beasts. Walk around like that, it'll please me.
Carl: I mean there's some middle-aged spread going on-
Sangria: Sexy is a state of mind, darling.
She is actually self-assured. Sometimes I forget. Maybe because she spends half her time cajoling her idiots.
Meanwhile...
Gimlet: UM. Nope! How in the fuck do I smell THIS bad?
Lol he's so shook.
Carl: Ooh, a ghost cake-
Lux: Hmph. Ectoplasm flavoured for you, male-
Carl:...Aw.
Vermouth: Can't believe I have to have fruit salad and Dad gets cake.
Sangira: Um no he does not, put that down Carl.
Kahlua: *Sigh* My birthday's tomorrow, and I really don't know what I should do with-
Carl: I dunno? Move out?
Kahlua: Wow you had that one ready. And you sound real happy about it.
Gimlet: So apparently both my siblings get birthdays....I wanted the attention.
You have it most of the time.
Gimlet:...Is there a spell for that?
Gimlet: I didn't find a spell to get me attention. I found something better.
Which one, Gim?
Gimlet: I can set things on FIRE!
Carl got shocked.
Car: AIEEEE - oooh I'm flying - and that's an arrhythmia, hearts shouldn't do that-
Sangria:...We have to be here, which is annoying. But at least it's geekcon, you like this one, right dear?
Carl: I like HORSES.
Sangria: I've told you to be more careful on that thing.
He's so dazed lmao.
What's going on now?
Sangria: I just imitated a person getting shocked and now he's mad.
Carl: It's not funny San! Tens have died!
Sangria: Well that's probably true and now I feel bad. Oh my God am I just like my mother?
Carl: Not this old nonsense again!
Oh also he got promoted. So he's level 9 too, like San.
Carl's working from home at Geekcon. One of his tasks is to recruit a product tester.
Llama guy:...No. Absolutely not.
Carl: Aw come on! You've got muscles, you can withstand! Better than me, my lungs are still vibrating a bit.
Llama: It could not be more obviously a suit, and I'm not getting into what else you just said.
Back at home..
Carl: Investigate my failures? You mean you're not supposed to jump right back in and hope you don't get shocked again?
Gimlet:...I have a lot of detention coming up.
Vermouth: I'm about to start high school as the brother of the 'Bus Seat Burner'.
Gimlet: Attempted burner. I couldn't even *sniffle* commit arson right.
Where are you going Kahlua.
Kahlua: To sneak into a different house! I'm sick of having these clods as brothers!
Kahlua: That's some jogging there, Gimlet.
Gimlet: Shut up, like you can talk. I'm looking both ways before I cross the road!
Kahlua: Don't.
Gimlet: You think you can convince me to get hit by a car? I don't need convincing. I'll either do that or I won't. You have no power.
Gimlet did not in fact, deliberately get his idiot ass hit by a car.
Gimlet: It hurts but I'm too important, the world needs me.
I highly doubt that.
*awkward chewing noises*
Gimlet:...Soooo, you need high school tips or-
Vermouth: Nah, I'm good.
Gimlet: Hey at least I tried to do sibling bonding with you. Where's Kahlua?
Vermouth: I dunno.
Gimlet: I'm taking a picture of this sad scene, and she can be repped by that stinky plate.
Tommy: Attention? Play with me? Someone, anyone...Kahlua?
Kahlua: Not now I'm waiting for a...guest.
Tommy: Oh, that fickle boy again? Girl please you can do better.
Kahlua: Perhaps but I have warmth in my heart for this one.
Tommy: Yeowch, that's a curse.
She greeted him with a good ol' handbuzzer trick.
Bobby: OWWWW what was that for?
Kahlua: Suffer dickwad!
Bobby: You're really fucking confusing y'know?!
Bobby: And I've always liked that about you.
Kahlua: Awwww. I still like you too.
Bobby: Like as a-
Kahlua: Oh my God do you need emotional glasses?
Kahlua: As in you're still cute you fool-
Bobby: Yes and - um, can we move-
Carl: Here kitty kitty kitty-
Tommy: Give me the fluffy! I will not be thwarted!
Kahlua: Just ignore my dad. I always do.
Carl: Nice. Here I thought you had no game, oh daughter of mine.
Kahlua: Oh you can talk. Mum told me about the courtship you two had, talk about failing upwards.
Kahlua: So we're both about to grow up. Can we not waste a load of time like my Uncle Aperol and just, y'know. Do something?!
Bobby: Sounds swell!
For some reason he tried to use the spa tub. Anyway. I don't care. They finally got their shit together.
Gimlet: Right I love love and all, well done you two but I need to piss like a horse.
Bobby: Wow. Ew. Are your brothers-
Kahlua: Yes, they're always like that. It pains me too.
Vermouth:...I'll give you two your privacy.
Kahlua: Shut up, Worm-mouth, I don't need you to ruin this.
Vermouth: Can't believe it took you that long to think of that insult.
Kahlua: Voulez-vous coucher avec-moi...tomorrow? Forgot the word.
Bobby: Tomorrow's just two hours away baby.
Kahlua: Cute but my mum will come nosing around downstairs and I know you've got a curfew.
And so Bobby went home. But overall the mission was a success. And yes, Lua does want to sleep with him.
Gimlet: No YOU'RE falling behind on training, silly figurines! I don't NEED attention-
GIMLET let your sister have one evening in the spotlight. She's got her man, Vermouth is pretty boring, so I guess it'll be the Gimlet show from now on.
Sangria: *brushes off imaginary dirt* My house is in order. I have control of this family. I am not my mother.
Tommy: *sigh*
Sangria: Don't look at me like that cat.
Birthday time.
Carl: Lol I don't really care.
Vermouth: OhmyGod this is amazing...I look just like Mum! Well, she'd never wear such a sahde of lipstick but-
He's super cloney. But oh well.
He got the Hates Children trait, and the Master Chef aspiration. Guess who's the family fridge-stocker for the next ten days.
Vermouth: Oh whatever...I'm inspecting my beautiful visage.
Kezia: Good Lord who is this new creature in the kitchen. I'm embarrassed for it.
Riv's descendant teenageified.
Kezia: Say it ain't so.
It is.
Vermouth:...Hai.
It turns out he has Carl's nose. So not a 100% clone.
Vermouth: I got Mum's glasses tho :)
Weird boy. Anyway, next time Kahlua and Gimlet should both be ageing up.
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