Sutherlands Get Random - 4.4

 

Sangria: Hey. Gimlet! Go the fuck to sleep. Mum has so much work to do!


Her husband, and the father of Gimlet -

Sangria: Of course, who else would it be?

-is doing his own homework. Under a plate.

Carl: It's for the challenge, yo. If I don't see half the work I work harder!

...What?


Sangria's mother Rivella is outside being her cantankerous bitch self.

Rivella: Hey! Git! I'm trying to mourn the cats that matter to me!

Tommy: But Rivvvvvv I love you.

Rivella: And I love nothing! Nothing but Onyx! *sniff, sob*

Rivella's platonic life-partner and distant ancestor Kezia is inside trolling people online or something


And finally, San's eldest Kahlua is taking a nap. She's not very interesting right now.

Kahlua: I'll show you interzzz...oooh when I wake up, you're gonna feel it!


Kezia: Hush little child...seriously I'm trying to be a Gamer TM and you're interrupting me.

Gimlet: *screams in fear*

Super nurturing family he's got.


Rivella: Maybe you're good for something after all, Tommy. We now have a fifth owl sculpture!

Tommy: OK so...what do I get?

Rivella: Meh. Probably nothing. I'm gonna go cry into a mirror now.

Rivella is mourning the brother she never met.

Rivella: Useless deadbeat dad...

He really was.


Anyway now the four adults are at the Humour and Hijinks festival because it's part of the generation's parameters to attend all these fuckin things. Riv and Kezia joined the dark side and Cargria joined the light side.

Liz: Whooooo let's go pranksters! Who likes dem shades?

Kezia: Your sunglasses are awful, but it seems like there might be a lot of drugs in this here tea, and I like that!


Sangria: JOHNNY. You can see me there, but take your wife! For fuck's sake!

Hear hear!


Princeton: So...illegal fireworks? Nobody cares?

Pink hair: Do it you won't.

Kalamainu'u: Whatever, I'm past caring about this shit. Burn my scales off if you like. Hey, fellow old lady, wanna go give people electric shocks?

Rivella: Do I ever!

Sangria: I think I'm at the wrong table.


She also finished her uni term with A-pluses across the board. Turns out it's easy to do that in a legacy when your Sims have no life.


Kezia: That tea was radioactive and you're all gonna die!

Neighbour Renata: What I'm hearing is that my kid's gonna be a superhero! Spiderman, Spiderman-

Carl: You're a weird woman, Renata.

Kezia: Raaarggghhh like you can talk CARL.


Renata: GUYS, I think it's happening-

Kezia: I'm way too high to drive you, sorry.

Carl: My license was taken away one day after I got it due to quite an extraordinary-

Renata: UGH, CARL, not in the mood, can you find someone who'll help?

Kezia: Ehhh...nah.

Carl: Wait, just let me finish the story it's really good-!


Lilith: Woooo keep sucking!

Gemma: You go girl give us nothing!

Oumaima: You....all of you shut up, Pranksters! Lilith doesn't even have feet but I didn't bring it up.

Gemma: Gasp!


Gemma: I can't imagine not being able to balance off the stage on one toe.

Lilith: It's true but you didn't have to tell everyone.


Rivella: So I administered the electric shock to the silly teen girl like you said but did it make me feel better? No.

Kalamainu'u: Ignore her, she's talking nonsense. I've never given anyone a shock in my life, now please shake my hand.

Tane: Uh...no...

Beverly: Ughhhhh...finger phone? Impossible!

Tane: Right, either one of you two gave a child brain damage, or that purple tea is reeeeallly potent.


Bellini had her LAST child. She's not having any more.


They all came home because they were tired and the festival was just dragging on.

Kahlua: Dad. Dad look at me.

Carl: Uh...sweetie, I think I forgot our keys.

Kahlua: So call Mum or Grandmas?

Carl: They're definitely sleep and I'm scared to-

Kahlua: Wuss.


I immediately assumed this was Lux but nope. Pepsi.

Pepsi: I'm a ghost. Why am I sweating? And why would anybody ever do this? My method of exercising was a lot more fun!


Pepsi: Muuuuuch better.


Tommy:...O__O

You good there Tom?

Tommy: No. I live here! Why is the old lady poking around with a screwdriver, that clearly won't end well!


Cousin Ribena made Grenagene grandparents. Yay! I did get to name him (also another boy in the family, the times they are a-changing), but decided that the drink names have to stop somewhere.


Sangria: Oh isn't it so nice to do things together, my dear little daughter.

Kahlua: Mum put clothes on. I don't know where to look. Also who gives someone salad for breakfast, it's just sick.


Tommy got sprayed by a skunk and is now pissing off everyone in the house by being smelly.

Carl: Maybe I can't judge him too bad, I have had nights like that-

No you absolutely have not.

Carl: Yeah. I know. I've done nothing.


Carl is a surprisingly good father. He's always running off to watch or check on Kahlua.

Carl: That's my precious baby girl.

Kahlua: Now, blockies, what do we do if we see a police car?

Carl: I know this one. Put your hands up-

Kahlua: Hush Dad, you're not playing. Tell me blocks - yes, we run!


Kahlua: You know everything. Right Grammy?

Rivella: Sure...but Mum knows more.

Kahlua: Mum is weak! I want a story from you! A real story.

Kezia: This is good, isn't it Riv? 

Rivella: It's not what San wanted...

Kahlua: Who cares? What does she do?

Sangria: I'm sorry OK this homework is really hard.


Sangria: It's OK Mum just stick to the list of - that has a knife on the cover. Why would you draw it on there?

Tommy: Play with me play with meeee!

Sangria: Tommy you STINK go away and play nice with the skunks in the backyard - gah. Too much to do!


Carl: Shhhh! Tell nobody I'm here. Give me peace!


Kahlua: Byyyyyeee Grammy.

Rivella: And one...two....seven!

Kahlua: Now I know that's not how you count!

Rivella: Shhhhhh let me pretend my old body remains strong.

Kahlua: All of you are strange.

You didn't realise that before?


Rivella's now just freaking out Carl. She's always been a troll at heart.

Rivella: So when are you gonna make me a WMD son?

Carl: What? I can't even do that yet.

Rivella: So when you can, do I get one?

Carl:...NO comment. You'll probably be dead by then you old bat.

Rivella: What was that?

Carl: Nothing!


Carl: Well that was....shocking.

Not really you electrocute yourself all the time.

Carl: Mmmmyeah. Can't be healthy.

Nope.


Carl: Eyyyy baby wanna put my service to the test?

Sangria: Disney references aren't hot. And your brain is still fried, let's wait a little.

Plus you have another class.

Sangria: I what? No the wellness class doesn't start until tomorrow.

That's what I thought.

Sangria: I didn't do my homework! Oh crap!

Carl: Ooooh someone's in trouble.

Sangria: Shut up or that's gonna be you.

Carl: Yeah dunno why I did that,


Rivella: I see how it is. You play games in a bikini and I break my wrist cleaning up this house.

Kezia: Shut up I've been taking care of the family my entire - you broke your wrist? Damn, put the bowl down. You're a dramatic annoying bitch but I'll still drive you to the hospital!


Cargria are home and-

San: You. Me. The highest setting on the science shower.

Carl: Oh schmell yes!


Rivella: You could say my mind's going, but I'm still pretty sure you're not my daughter.

Leon: I think I got the wrong house, but..

Rivella: Let me guess. You're bullied at school and ran away. There's probably a reason for that.

Leon: Well people are assholes-

Rivella: Nahhhh I mean something to do with you. Change up your look, for example. Are you preppy or a goth, what is this?


Owl: SHAME AND DISHONOUR

Sprite: Alright FINE I'm only here for the pool. You try loving those freaks I call a family!


Leon WHAT.

Leon: God this baby sucks! Why won't it stop making that sound?

Gimlet:..I'm crying! I want dinner!


Carl: Who's a good little bot baby? You are! Now let's go home.

Sprite: Cool, my brother in law is a freak - ow, my hair!


Rivella: Kezia darling please, I'd like to rest these old bones.

Kezia: Suck it I'm definitely gonna beat your Blicbloc record this time!

Rivella:...400th time lucky then?

Kezia: Screw you.


Sugar: Yep! Still got my whippin' tail. Still ready to protect...how many mistresses is it now?

I don't even fuckin know at this point, cat.


Sugar: The new one freaks me out!

Tommy: *lick* Look ma I'm an acrobat.


Sugar: Yeah I've definitely lost count. Who the hell is this Mistress?

Kahlua: She's see-through, which is creepy, but at least I'm getting the respect I deserve! Now I'm off to make fun of Tommy.

Sugar:...I like her. She messes with the new one.


Kahlua: What is this mush. Father?

Carl: Oooh, this wall is interesting. So interesting I can't hear-

Kahlua: You really are pathetic. And you're the best of my parents!


Double gaming session for the two cranky old ladies?

Kezia: No! She's just watching over my shoulder and gloating.

Rivella: I told you to use the health pack. You complacent little fool.


Kahlua: Oooh granny! I wanna be like you when I grow up.

Rivella: I'm old enough and have the self-awareness to admit that's a terrible goal. But I'll help you get really good at video games.


Sangria: Tommy...I think I want one last kitten. Even though I already have your stinky self and two other kids I barely have time for...

Yeah she whimmed to try for a frickin' baby. Whims are sovereign I guess, so you get your wish San. Gawd.


Rivella: Guess what your precious baby said today, San.

Sangria: Not right now I'm slammed with homework.

Kezia: YEET

Rivella: She looks up to me, y'know. With your hectic schedule and your husband being who he is, who else is there?

Sangria: Just show her video games then. No more murder.

Rivella: Yes yes, I'm retired from that!

Sangria: But y'know, you shouldn't have started on that.


Kahlua: Rawrrr I'm Tommy. And I smell.

Tommy: Sticks and stones may - oh screw it, Kahlua. That really hurt me!

Kahlua:...Did it? I thought I was going easy on ya!


Carl immediately went to his daughter once he got home from his exam.

Carl:-You see, Dad normally plays with tons of different electronics and makes robots....but today I had to answer a bunch of questions that determine my future! 

Kahlua: That's not really a scary story, Dad.

Kezia: Just you wait kid.


Gimlet: That was a weirrrrd babyhood.

Carl: I know kid. I know.

Gimlet: The only thing to do...is match that!

His toddler trait is Silly.


As that was happening, Bellini's father/Carl's ex-stepfather died of old age. RIP you useless mailman and father.

Not one person in this house gave a shit.


Look who's at the door.

Prosecco:-I have serious problems, Auntie. I can't just 'git gud'.

Sprite: Yeah yeah. Guessing you're getting teased and have too much homework. I definitely would have teased you in high school.

Prosecco:...Well more like I think my mum and our weird roommate Wiki are about to murder each other and I'm stuck raising my baby sisters. Plus I think my dad has a weird thing for Sangria.

Sangria: He what?


Gimlet: Heeehhhhh...come to me, Uni. Don't make me ask twice.

Both these kids are weird. Great.

Sangria: I really want my third now!


Prosecco: Life is hard little man. Want some ketchup?

Gimlet: I want the cops. Get me away from him!

Prosecco: I'm not dangerous...just sad. Really sad *sniffle*.


Carl is also done. Yay Carl!


SCARY CHILD.

Gimlet: You crossed me...Uni. You won't make that mistake again.

Blueni: No sir. No!


Gimlet: You? Saving the world? In your dreams, Purple Superwoman!


PROSECCO WHAT

Prosecco: What? I'm helping out. All this money and they don't even have a maid...

Cargria: DO YOU MIND-


Sangria: Third time lucky!

Oof.

And this is your last chance, no more kids. It's another three kid generation.


Onto some spare children. This is Aperol and Kristine's daughter Kristyn.


And Brandy Richards, teenage daughter of Gin-Fizz and her husband Rudy.


And here's her little brother Bailey.


Grenagene's youngest also aged up into an Erratic child. Great. They're also old now. With two children in grade school.

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