Drifting for Miles - House 2, Part 4


Right away Freesia's getting started on Bucky's skills. We didn't finish LP's which is pretty disappointing.

Freesia: Don't let your brother hear this but you're more important, being our heir and all.

Buckthorn: I know.


Freesia: My boy's smart. He can take care of himself while I look for yet MORE SEASHELLS.

Buckthorn: Ooh look wall goo! I'mma eat it.


Freesia: No way I'm dealing with two of you little critters; wake up and get out, other son.

LP: Wow thanks I'm so loved.

Freesia: You ARE. But you're also getting on my last nerve let's GO.


Freesia: Sorry for the delay boys, had to make a cake. Let's go for real now, LP.

Buckthorn: At last! I can be king of the dollhouse.

LP: You're king of being a pain. I'mma get bigger and step on you!


Hyacinth: Oh. I see your broke ass is taking in strays.

Freesia: Nope! This is my stepson and I'm happy to have him here. So don't talk about my son or my son's son-

LP: I'm like 5 I don't want a son. I do want a makeover.

Hyacinth: Oh definitely. What in the redneck is this?


Fine. Wish granted. Here is beachy LP, dressed like that 'cos he's a child of the ocean. He also wants to be a Whiz Kid but there's no money for Mental skill objects so I guess he'll just have to use the dollhouse.


Iosefina: Freesia texted that she's out doing an odd job and the boys are under the care of her mean-ass sister...meh, they can handle themselves. I'll stand here, complain and possibly pass out.

Great.


Hyacinth: -No kid, you're very wrong. Most people have windows from birth.

LP: You're joking! Then why would my mothers tell me I'll only have windows once I hit teen?


Buckthorn: Goddammit dollhouse! If you weren't so easy to break I'd still have something to play with! Hmmph this is all your fault!


Later Freesia came back from her odd job, which she did great at! So the house is now lit and wallpapered.

LP: And yet no windows, I told you Auntie Hy!


Freesia: Do I ever get a day off? No! I take care of this family single handedly! Why don't YOU help?

LP: Surely you should ask Mama Fina, I'm too young to get a job.

Freesia: Then dig through crab nests for seashells! God it's not that hard!


Freesia: Do me bby!

Iosefina: Oh absolutely, thought you'd never ask!

Freesia: Great! And LP wonders how you help me.


Buckthorn: Uh hello? What happened to being important?

Freesia: You are I just need to clean the goo out of the fridge! It's a daily task!

I'll get a new one soon.

Buckthorn: What about cleaning the DIRT off your SON?


Freeisa; Oh second thoughts, meh, I have enough to do. You know to shit right kid?

Buckthorn: This is why I swore I didn't need you two...

Freesia: Good! Keep that promise my independent little weirdo.


LP: The Whiz Kid life suits. I am inspired by my edu-macation. I also got poked in the eye by some bully, stepmother help.


Freesia: So how DID you get pregnant? Did you grab what's-his-name like THIS?

Hyacinth: Oh Freesia you useless lesbian.

LP: Thanks, I'm in first grade.

Hyacinth: You were scarred for life by being born here kiddo.


Buckthorn: I'm always SO excited to see Auntie Hy.

Hyacinth: Money rules the world, kid. You don't have any and will be unimportant forever, that's the truth.

Buckthorn: I love our talks...


LP:...Who are you?

Fuifui: Luke I am your father!

LP: That's corny and I'm hanging up now.


Fuifui: Hey maybe they DO need those child support cheques I'm dodging. My boy doesn't even have windows!


LP: So you can buy me windows?

Fuifui: Sure, just need to figure out how to hide the payment from the wife. She doesn't know of your existence.

LP: Wow thanks I love being your dirty lil secret.


Fuifui: What do?

LP: *sob* Why even let Auntie Hy in the house?

Fuifui: Seriously why is it crying? You want an apple or something kid?


Fuifui: Now I swear the cheques are coming, but for now...have the last $75 in my wallet, I'm enjoying the performance.

Freesia: Holy shit are my jokes really worth that?

Fuifui: Eeeehhh...tbh no, it's the performing them in a swimsuit with dem titties out for me.

Freesia:...Well, money's money.


Hyacinth: He's crying :D I'm gonna be such a great mother!

Iosefina: Lol wall.

Buckthorn: I want my BED!

LP: Get there yourself. I did back in my day-

Fuifui: I am great provider.

LP: Nah you're kind of a creep, heard what you said to stepmother.


Freesia got enough points to buy the Seldom Sleepy reward. She needs to get so much done and if she's sleeping all the time there's not enough time to do it.

Freesia: OK time to do that fishing thing! I mean, I'm not gonna eat you fishies, come one come all.


Freesia: Fish are friends and I don't wanna do this.

Fat SIGH, just catch 5 and we're done forever.


Next morning...

LP: Mum GET OUT I'm gonna wet myself!

You could just go in the ocean?

LP: And piss on a sacred fish I THINK NOT


LP: Why.

Iosefina: Just a little song before school. The wheels on the bus go round and round-

LP: I'm not a baby! Sing at Buckthorn!

Iosefina: Well I tried, sweetie, but the little fucker bit me.


Later...

Freesia: Wanna go on a rollercoaster? Well, we are too poor for that, so to be specific, do you wanna be thrown round like my little sack fo potatoes and feel the blood rush?

Buckthorn: Why not? Can't be more boring than this cheap dollhouse with the same 2 deformed dolls.


Freesia you are too close to your father.

Miles: I'll say. I can smell your breath. Why was there so much garlic in your breakfast?

I need to extend these stairs I swear.


Hyacinth: What the flying frippery fuck are you two doing?

Freesia: I don't have a choice.

Miles: Just proving I still got *creak* mobility, suckers!

Oh and as this was happening Daisy grew up into YA.


Hyacinth: Meh meh meh I'm Miles and I'm a boring old washed up gardener more vanilla than mayo on white bread.

Miles: Le gasp! After all I've given you! Don't expect shit from me anymore!

Hyacinth: I haven't expected shit from you since I was FOUR!


Daisy: So Dad missed my birthday to bum around my sister's beach junkyard and yell at my other sister. Figures.


LP: I can barely see your new work outfit but still - what the hell is that?

Freesia: I know, right? As if I can't wear my swimsuit in. It worked on your bio dad!

LP: Don't remind me of that.


LP: Aunt Daisy please buy me Pokemon cards we are so poor!

Daisy: Well that's a little cheeky now isn't it!

LP: Come on. Look at my face. You can't resist this face.


Iosefina: Hello there little one!

Buckthorn: I don't know this lady, GTFO. *pushes*

Iosefina: Not my fault I work long hours to support your ungrateful little ass...

Buckthorn: I can take care of myself. Gimme a shovel and I'll find all the seashells you need!


Fuifui: Hey that microphone's looking unused...

LP: Dad I'm over here!

Fuifui: Oh. Right. Hi kid. When's your stepmum getting home?


Later...

Didn't you already go to bed LP?

LP: The plates called to me and I must scrub.


Hyacinth had her baby. I named her randomly.


Freesia: *deep breaths* Just one more. One more fish. 

Yes please it's been hours! She caught three boxes (with some pretty good stuff in them) but just one fish.

Freesia: *le sigh* I think my feet have grown leather at this point.

Well if you'd wear anything but a swimsuit...

Freesia: Don't diss the swimsuit! It's good for my career!


Freesia: Wanna do it then?

Iosefina:...Yeah let's make that sweet music.

Freesia: That is an innuendo and not a serious suggestion of playing your shit covers, right?

Iosefina: I'll be offended about that later. For now I seriously just wanna bang.

After Iosefina headed to work little Bucky woke up in a horrible mood.

Freesia: -I mean this time it's not our fault. Fina tried to bathe you last night and you just...hopped out and headed to bed by your little lonesome!

Buckthorn: You would believe her. How DISGUSTING!

Freesia: That's you. How did you even get into all that mud? We live on the beach.


Miles seriously we don't need you as a goddamn stalker.

Miles: I like to catch up with my daughters, especially when she's just had a baby!

Freesia: Uh...nope. Still just got the two.

Miles: Really?...Must have been thinking of the other one.


Buckthorn: No! You can't make me sit on that horrible plastic thing! I'm a PRINCE.

Freesia: OK then shit your pants all your life for all I care.

Freesia no.

Freesia: Fine. I mean...if you let me do this I'll leave you alone for two hours after!

Buckthorn: Hmmm...I accept those terms!

Freesia: Fucking weird kid.


Later...

LP: Just me myself and I again I guess.

Your other mum's home soon.

LP: Like that helps.


Hugo I don't think she even knows you, WTF.

Hugo: I just need a friend...

Iosefina: I spoke to you once on my way home from work and I'm busy, ain't gonna be me pal.


LP: This malformed doll with its sad mouth...tis like a reflection.

Buckthorn: LOL I feed off your suffering...

LP: But you don't have a demon baby brother, do you dear doll?

Buckthorn: But it's not very filling, somebody make me a sammich.

LP: Make it yourself, devil boy!

Buckthorn: I'm three...?


Buckthorn: Still don't know you!

Iosefina: And I'm still your mother.

Buckthorn: You don't even look like me! I cannot TRUST.

Iosefina: Mother or not, nobody else is here to get you your sandwich.

Buckthorn:...Fine.


Now that the fishing is done I'm trying to knock out that last seashell.

Freesia: Right, that's what we're doing. Sorry I got distracted, been playing with the sand for ten minutes.


LP: Why oh why can't we have anything other than cereal? It's a travesty and disgrace!

OK, Mr Dramatic and your two dollar words, there's leftovers in the fridge! Gawd!


Freesia: LP my little man! It's been a while it seems. How are you hanging?

LP: *sniffle*

Freesia: That's it son! Cry into the sink so I don't have to mop anymore goddamn puddles.

LP: Wow I feel so loved...


Buckthorn is never happy.

Buckthorn: Would you be?

Freesia: I am one cooool chick. Let me preen for ten minutes, I don't care about your nappy, kid.

Iosefina: Oooh Freesia you got us a ceiling!

Buckthorn: Answer the question.

I guess I wouldn't be, Buck.


LP: *grimace* She just saw everything. Oh God she saw me in the shower I'm embarrassed.

Freesia: Kid. Relax. I changed your nappies. Plus we have an opaque curtain there! So chill the f out and help me get my face out the door.


Iosefina: I sing because I'm happy, I sing because I'm free!

LP: That makes one of us.

You dramatic child. You're fine.


Fuifui:...So my wife and I are fighting a little.

LP: You tell this to me, your kid.

Fuifui: You're the reason for it.

Iosefina:...Anybody wanna hear my experimental cover of-

Both: NO!


Buckthorn: NO.

Freesia: Come on! I'm breaking my wrists to give you a REAL fun time.

Buckthorn: Thanks! I hate it!


Iosefina: Ziggy played guitar...and I'll stop if you write me a cheque.

Fuifui: Bitch pls I only tip your hot wife in a swimsuit.


Freesia: This is a bed. Mum wants to get in it. Seriously. I'm so tired of taking care of everything and everyone.

Bucky: Have a crisis on your own time.

Freesia: Damn kid you're a straight-up savage...I'm proud.


Daisy got married to one of the younger Kealoha daughters. Does that mean she's living in Sulani?

Daisy: Not sure yet, just wanted to see what the fuss was. Since, y'know, Dad missed my birthday to bum around on the beach here.


Later that night LP got another half-sibling.


LP: I gotta secret...your Mum's a hoe!

Freesia: You made me come into the bathroom for this.


Before Buckthorn wakes up Freesia gets to beachcomb and she found THIS. It's worth over a grand nice JOB FREESIA.


And Iosefina is trying to bond with her sons. Or, just LP since Bucky is asleep still.

Iosefina: Now let me tell you about a real explosive story I heard in one of my soaps. First, make those two secretly related and have that one cheat on her husband-

LP: I was just acting out a simple nuclear family.

Iosefina: Bitch is that a dig?

LP: Not really. Just wanna pretend I have a dad who isn't a total weirdo.


Freesia: Come on, let's go again.

Buckthorn: Dammit woman I just went.

Freesia: I know. And you'll go again until we hit that level 3, you're already two hours behind on your birthday.


Iosefina: And dice the mushrooms...

Buckthorn: Other Mama's being helpful.

Freesia: I know sweetie, miracles are real after all.

Iosefina: I can hear you two.


Buckthorn: Hey look, you're not wearing a swimsuit. Looks like we both have new looks.

Freesia: Do not test me anymore today, kid.

He's an Outgoing kid with the Whiz Kid aspiration. Same as his older half-brother.

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