London Plane: Swiggity swooty, coming for that-
No.
LP: Can I at least play with the dolls?
Sure.
Anyway he's a Wild bean. And I don't trust that face.
LP: Now what could lil old me be doing wrong?
LP: I believe I can fly!
Freesia: Yeah because I'm lifting you. Why are you so heavy, you're like two.
Freesia: What the fuck LP? Do you mind?
LP: Fuck!
Freesia: Dammit, don't repeat that. Anyway, why are you in here?
LP: I know what you're doing and I want the result.
Freesia: It's a positive! You're gonna have a baby sibling.
LP: Shoot.
Iosefina:...Are you sure we can handle this?
Freesia: Well we're gonna have to aren't we?
LP. Gross.
LP: But Mum dropped confetti in here and it looks funnnn!
Miles is here again. Hopefully he can watch LP while Freesia skills. He's also in a much better mood than usual.
Miles: Ey yeah I got it GOOD from my wife this morning-
Yeah OK, no need for that.
LP: Uh, stranger danger, why are you in my bathroom?
Miles: Why, I'm your grandpa.
LP: You don't look like my grandpa.
Miles: Well technically I'm not but I'm the closest thing you got! Hey, that rhymed.
Miles: Woo! You go! Follow your dreams of being funny, my daughter!
Freesia: Am I not already being funny?
Miles:...Whoooo! I'm so proud!
Freesia: Well I'm going to work now.
Miles: Looks like it's just you and me LP.
LP: Is it too late to go to daycare?
Iosefina: The hell do I do with this thing?
LP: Good evening to you too mother.
ELEVEN GODDAMN PM
Caleb: When else was I supposed to come?
I know you have sun resistance Caleb don't try me.
Caleb: Well that's off-brand. They need a proper introduction to their friendly neighbourhood vampire.
You don't even live here!
This is to show Iosefina being useful. She works long hours and is often tired but she does do some things.
Freesia: How about raise our son then.
Iosefina: Bitch I heard that.
Iosefina: Starting to feel like I'm fighting a losing battle...
I fucking wonder.
LP: Are you rubbing it in my face?
This kid woke up so hungry and Freesia just...sat here lmao.
Freesia: SORRY I just wanted to sit down and not puke in my room.
LP: So it's fine to puke in my room?
What. Why?
LP: I literally just wanted food.
Iosefina: We're going on an adventure!
LP: Could I not have eaten first?
LP: A little help?
What the hell Iosefina? Freesia might not be a stellar mother but she's leagues better than you. You really just left him out here.
LP: Right? Outrageous.
Of course Freesia had to get him and she went slooooowly.
Freesia: I'm pregnant it's not my fault.
Also she's tiny. I've seen pregnant Sims bigger in their first trimesters than this.
In the end LP was rescued, fed and then nothing happened for the rest of the day.
Iosefina: Eurrrgh really? I feel like this isn't my best look...
Your bad look was abandoning your toddler on some random bench thsi morning what the hell lady.
Iosefina: That was just a bit of fun between mother and son.
He can barely walk. Also after this you let him stand by the ocean for an hour while you showered so..
Freesia: Sorry about your mother being a sack of useless. Wanna do some flashcards?
LP: No thanks!
Freesia: But they'll be good for you. You'll get good at thinking.
LP: What if I LIKE my brain empty?
Freesia: And the little mouse ran and hid - really? This kind of role model? How about don't be a pussy, Whiskers?
LP: Was that all in the story?
Hyacinth got married.
Hyacinth: Mwahahahaha I now have a thrall.
Waylon: That's such a good laugh honey...you're so hot.
Hyacinth: Easy as pie.
Iosefina: Kid let's clean that mud off.
LP: Let's not abandon me in the middle of nowhere. The mud is my protective coating and I will bathe in it forever. Now gimme a CHEESE SAMMIE
Iosefina: Do you want dirt all over your nice highchair-
LP: It's not nice, now gimme BREAD you sack of useless.
Iosefina: Did you call me a sack of useless in front of our child?
Freesia: If the shoe fits wear it, woman.
Iosefina: I oughta-
Freesia: Sure, sure. Break the guitar like you broke LP's spirit yesterday.
LP: Yo what.
Freesia: I am a *scree*ing majestic dolphin, son!
LP: Can you be Mum, deliverer of food?
LP: But you said adults aren't allowed to pee on the floor and that's why I had to use that weird plastic thing!
Freesia: Yeah I done fucked up here buddy. Sorry.
Iosefina: Who's this weirdo?
Kathryn: Property hunter. Is this really the best use for prime beachfront land?
Iosefina: I don't really think that's your call.
LP: Don't worry, mothers. I'll bite her ankles if needed.
Freesia: I am still hot pregnant, right?
Iosefina: Obviously. Would be hotter away from that toilet though.
Freesia: Please. We were married by a toilet.
Iosefina: Which wasn't ideal either.
Iosefina: So do you wanna do the-
Freesia: I'mma stop you right there, gotta go. I'm giving another scuba lesson.
Iosefina: Dammit. Now I know how your dad feels.
Freesia: Now I definitely don't want to do this, why would you bring up my father?
LP's sleep schedule is fucked.
LP: Why isn't someone awake to feed me my breakfast?
UH because it's 2.30am?
LP: No way, otherwise why would I be so awake?
LP tried to hit his mother and she was NOT having it.
Iosefina: Absolutely not we don't hit!
LP: Maybe I do! And maybe you deserved it!
Iosefina: Would you get over our...unfortunate adventure?
Iosefina: Maybe you should use the loo, I don't wanna clean up anymore puddles...
Freesia: Maybe mind your own business I'm really hungry.
Iosefina: Seriously. No more puddles. It smelled. You really need to drink more water.
Iosefina: Woo! Hilarious, you hitting your head with the microphone! Best bit of the whole show!
Freesia: That was an accident and it actually really hurt. Also I'm in labour.
Iosefina: Wut.
And here's our heir. His name is Buckthorn and unless Freesia wishes otherwise, he'll be our last baby. One heir is enough methinks.
Freesia: My head's killing me and I need to skill for work. Mind watching the boys?
Iosefina: Sure in a second lemme finish this rendition of Hey There Delilah.
Freesia:...Thanks, babe.
Freesia: Oooh an audience member! I see somebody wants a roasting!
Jaiden:...I guess this isn't Coogler's party then.
Iosefina: I can bring the party! I know Wonderwall as well!
Hyacinth: Hey. You. Cougar. Terrible rendition of Thinking Out Loud.
Iosefina: Haters gonna hate.
Freesia: Sorry babe I kind of also hate it. Also why the fuckin' blue screen of death?
Freesia: -Venessa Jeong is like-
Hyacinth: Is she? Look, I know you're married to a woman, but you must know what that looks like-
Freesia: What? What is it? I think this is pretty good.
Hyacinth: *sigh* Do you want to give somebody a handjob? Cos that's what it looks like...which is actually kind of funny.
Hyacinth: Ugh...broken hazard computers, overflowing wastebins...this place really is a trashheap! Yeuch!
Sofia: *knocking on door even tho we don't know her*
Freesia: Bitch at least tip me.
Iosefina: Or me! I'm here all night folks.
GET OFF THAT THING. you're BAD at it.
You're bad at this Hyacinth.
Hyacinth: Shh. SHHH I didn't do anything I'm not that evil.
Clearly she wasn't traumatised enough to avoid getting pregnant herself.
LP: Come on rubbish bin. Let's go on a 2am adventure.
Yeah his sleep schedule is REALLLLLY fucked.
Look! Iosefina is taking care of her kid!
Iosefina: I'm a great mother...but seriously it's 4am why is he like this?
LP: Play with me forever Mama!
LP: *cough cough* Clean out your cupboards JEEZ!
Caught her in action lol.
Freesia: It's 7am OK I'm still waking up! OW that was rough...llama bone fish?
LP: Raaaaargh feed me bear! OR I destroy one toy every hour-
Purple Blarffy: I dunno why you think I have anything to do with this.
Bowl of salad: *just chillin*
Iosefina:...This place is a mess.
Yeah, a little bit.
LP: Right, if I add this salad bowl...I could make a smell nobody has smelled before!
Iosefina: Not looking forward to that.
So clean it.
Iosefina:...Gotta work, sorry
After work...
Iosefina: Yeah the lab is no picnic! Who would have known asserting that you're too pretty to garden would have such vicious consequences?
Freesia: Wife. I get off an hour after you-
Iosefina: If you do I'm doing something wrong in the bedroom, har har-
Freesia: No. Please go shower. Didn't the boys come back from daycare when you came back?
Iosefina: That's what I forgot! I can go-
Freesia: Shower before you touch 'em.
Go AWAY you stupid bloodsucking PENCIL!
Vlad: *hiss* Iosefina Kahananui! You will PAY for the shoddy job you did tuning my organ! $150 for that work my ASS-
Iosefina's actually good at taking care of little Bucky over here.
Iosefina: Well babies are easy. They need one of three things and that's about it.
Buckthorn: God I hope that nickname doesn't stick.
LP: Wee! Happy birthday to me, right?
Yeah...sure. It's 2am again ugh. We're doing this in the morning.
LP: Please I want to be taking care of myself. Pretty sure I'd be better at it than mothers.
LP: I want a BED! Put me in a BED! Or I destroy-
Dollhouse: Stop I'm already broken.
Iosefina: Crazy little thing called love-
I swear she uses this thing more than Freesia.
D: Roxana and Miles are old now!
God this kid looks way too much like Freesia already.
Freesia: And what would be wrong with that? I'm beauty, I'm grace and I am... armed with mace. Wait that's irrelevant.
Buckthorn: I don't need parents! They disappoint me!
Freesia: Damn kid give us a chance.
Buckthorn: *already knows he's a classy bitch* Why should I?
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