The Name Game - 1.12

 

Thirza: NO! I don't want to hang out with you! Take a damn hint! You'd probably just irrationally accuse me of only wanting to sleep with you even though I'm a loving and caring friend who's tried her best to-

Wolfgang: Wait? You wanna sleep with me? Let's hang out then!

Thirza: Oh for - *hangs up*


Thirza: And of course my family is still...themselves?

Adrian: That's not fair! I'm getting yelled at for nothing!

Tosca: You're getting yelled at for EXISTING you llama!


Thirza: Sorry about Mum, Adrian. She's a little erratic.

Ophira: Well I'm sorry about what happened in your bedroom, Thirz. I'll take Hannah out for a nice little swim.

Hannah: What does that mean? Oh God why do I even come here?

Thirza: Don't do that. Ophira. Leave me to wither away over endless term papers alone. It'll be how I spend my life, right?


Cybil: Right. Five numbers from lifeguarding today yet nobody was cute. A shame. Never mind that. I must show my sisters how it's done.


Chiam: Hello twerp. It's you again. Now where's the gift voucher you promised me?

Cybil: Yeah, I was clearly lying. But you came over anyway 'cos we have something! I need you to prove a point.

Chaim: I didn't think you were lying. And what the fuck Cybil? You can't just use people. 

Cybil: Just watch me. Watch my cute face and long legs and skinny little waist.


Chaim: Fine. I still find you stupidly attractive, Cybil. Is that what you want?

Cybil: That and a little more, Chaim.

Jude: I'm watching you two...

Cybil: Well can you not? You let Ophira nearly drown a man today.

Jude: She what?


Ophira: You better not...

Cybil: We agreed he was fair game, didn't we sister?

Chaim: I'm not a piece of meat...

Cybil: I'm going to show you game. Gimme an hour and he'll be under my thumb.

Adrian: Speaking of thumbs, Cybil still SUCKS hers and sleeps with a teddy bear.

Chaim: God, what am I doing, you really are just a kid, aren't you?

Cybil: Um NO, he's lying I'm gonna kick this little shit-


Cybil: Wow that was some first kiss! Thanks Chaim.

Chaim: It was your what now?

Cybil: With you, you fool. The first with you.


Ophira: Dad...

Jude: Yes? What's this I hear about a drowning?

Ophira: Never mind that. Surley you can't allow Cybil to date somebody who graduated with me. She's just seventeen!

Jude: Now you do have a point.

Ophira: And you have muscles. Go scare him into my arms- I mean away.

Jude: What happened to that guy Manuia?

Ophira: I'm undecided. He's not very good in the water.


Jude:...Well. Why is it always in bathrooms?

Chaim: Cybil. Cybil your dad's really built I'm scared.

Cybil: Strip off anyway, don't be a pussy. He'll have to leave if we're both naked.


Cybil: So? Now will you be mine?

Chaim: Uh...you mean like, exclusive?

Cybil: Sure. Be my boyfriend then, dear Chaim?

Ophira: I'll get you two for this.

Cybil: Shut up Ophira we made a deal.


I missed it but according to his Sentiments, Ophira came out and insulted or yelled at Adrian.

Adrian: Maybe SCIENCE will help me figure out how in the hell any of this is my fault?


Ze next morning...

Azure: Oh Thirza, I just miss him.

Thirza: Yeah? Screw him, you're fine the way you are! At least your good friend and crush isn't a raging little-

Azure:..Thirza he's DEAD!

Thirza: RIP to the creep then, get out of my face!


Azure: Do you actually know who I'm talking about?

Thirza: I don't know which man it is, but you don't know any good ones so I don't much care-

Jude: No! No more of these men around my daughters! Azure you're under house arrest until you're 25!

Azure: But...what...I didn't even do anything!

Thrza: What's he gonna do, control Cybil?

Jude:...Shut up, Thirza. It's called damage control.


Tosca: ZOMG! Our children are a mess!

Jude: So yell at them about it, not me!


You don't help them much, Tosca.

Azure: Mum is it the red or blue wire to point A? I know nothing about electronics.

Tosca: Just do you best sweetie. You got this.

Azure: No. No I don't got this that's why I'm asking you.


Solomon: How you doing gal?

Azure: Um. I'm alright. Just gonna submerge myself in the ocean and pretend I don't exist for like an hour.

Solomon: That doesn't sound alright...


Adrian: Oooooh Cybil! That's a DIFFERENT boy!

Cybil: Adrian shut up! The kicking threat remains. Now, Solomon-

Solomon: You found someone else, huh?

Cybil: You shouldn't be surprised. We kiss Tuesday and you don't call me all week? Come on.

Solomon: I suppose you're right. Good luck, Cybil!


Cybil: Ahahaha! You are weak! You didn't even fight for me.

Solomon: I didn't really want to...

Ophira: Whatever. Call me after you graduate, boo. Mama needs revenge on the conniving brat you made out with...


Azure: So I found a set of handcuffs in the Lost-n-Found-

Ophira: Oh Lord, Az. Stop going for our leftovers. It's getting sad.


Azure: I'm sorry my sister stepped on your hand.

Thirza: I needed to pee why are you lying there anyway? There's a whole beach!

Jude: Who's THAT now? Too many daughters!


Solomon: Yeah, I go to that shithole highschool...

Azure: Yeah! I know! I go there too!

Sanjiv: Well, this place hasn't changed.


Cybil: I hereby bless this, and gift him to you.

Azure: Cyb you can't just gift people.

Cybil: Sure I can! Solomon, come over and take Azure by the hand. She might be a pathetic, less-cute version of me but she's very sweet.

Solomon: Um...I'm leaving.

Azure: It's OK. I didn't really want him that badly.


Tosca: Would you stop sighing and oohing all over the place. We get it, you're a newlywed. Meanwhile your father and I are on the rocks...

Sanjiv: Which is your fault, Mother, you're yelling at him all the time.

Tosca: What do you know about love.

Sanjiv: I'm the only one of your kids that's married!


Cybil: I'm not sure why you changed your outfit.

Cybil: A lady always changes up her colour palettes.

Who told you that?

Cybil: Ophira. She works in fashion, she knows what she's doing!


Thirza: Despite my clear instructions you didn't change your clothes. Fine. Have it your way, but I don't know the crazy half-naked girl painting on the lawn. I'm going to my lecture, by now!


Back at home...

Lilith: God can't they do that somewhere else?

I mean they live here. You don't. Why are you here?


Jude: Cybil, you're grounded! Ugh, Thirza's right, it does sound ridiculous!

Cybil: Exactly Father. You can't ground me. I'm like a bird, I only fly away.

Chaim: Isn't that a song?


Adrian: Beware. I left a real upper-decker in there.

Cybil: Adrian, go die in a hole pls.

Chaim: Oh come on, the kid's actually kind of funny.

Lilith: Is nobody gonna let me in? How rude.


Adrian: Can't let you in. I don't have the clout.But may I interest you in a gossip session?

Lilith: Now what would a little boy know? You're what, eight?


Ophira: Well. This is going up in as much smoke as my love life. Fitting.

Now don't be dramatic. You will find someone.

...Hopefully, through MCCC. I've tried to get sparks going with two people now and it is not working.


Cybil and Azure: No you get out of my way it's my fridge!


Tosca:. Stop.

Tosca: What? Where else can I knit in quiet with all these-

Everybody went to school/uni class.

Tosca: Not Ophira and she's really loud.

She's just not right now, she's eating food and chilling.

Tosca: alright FINe you got me I am too lazy to get up.


Jude: Ah...the picture of my dream woman. It was supposed to be one of Tosca before I remembered what a raging bitch she's been to me lately. I'll hang it above our bed.

Oooh, healthy.


Thirza: I see you've come here in a swimsuit. Ophira. It's like you want everybody to know we're beach people.

Jude: And what's wrong with that, Thirza?

Ophira: Yeah, what's wrong with that? I look hot girl!

Thirza: Whatever, I'm gonna go do my required tutoring and pretend not to know you people.


Kalama: Is that your Mum? She kind of has your face.

Ophira: A coincidence that embarrassing lady has nothing to do with-

Tosca: Phira, darling. Look at this meme and tell me if it's good for Insta.


Azure: Once again I'm being dragged here to be embarrassed by my family..


Cybil: You said that and you're doing this.

Azure: OMG you sound so good and you look good and you're FUNNY-

Ritvik: You smell a bit funny...

Old Lady: Girl. You're trying a bit hard.

Cybil: Yeah you sound wayyyyy too thirsty.


Cybil: Y'know what, she's got a point. Only I'M being embarrassed! Mum, stop hogging that laptop to stream Fifa, you're crap at it! Adrian why are you doing pushups?


Thirza has the right idea.

Thirza: Right I'm calling a taxi and getting these idiots OFF the campus! I have a reputation here!

Really?

Thirza:...No not really.


Cybil": Awww you guys just flatter me! Little rascals. 

Thirza's spare homework books that she leaves EVERYWHERE: ....We didn't say anything.


Azure: *sniff* Nobody ever notices me. All I do is sit in the background and-

Hey go fix that sink.

Azure: Get used for house chores! I came in here to CRY not fix stuff!


Cybil: Do the shuffle! Dooooo the shuffle!

Ophira: That's a great dance move. You should do it in any club we visit together.

Azure: She's so thirsty for attention. Look at her, Adrian. Don't turn out like that.

Adrian: I'm just trying to eat crackers and y'all are having drama no thank you.

Ophira: We all heard you crying in the bathroom anyway, Azure.


Tosca why are out here?

Tosca: Excuse me ma'am I've lost my home.

Jaqueline: Lady I'm like 15 and my own home's a mess, I cannot help you.

That's Tosca's niece lol.


What is it with ambiguous romantic prospects for these girls marrying men?

Sorry Ophira.

Ophira: Should have drowned him for real...


Azure: Do you really think we'll be all alone, Thirza?

Thirza: I'm sure somebody will take you, Zure. Eventually. With payment?

Azure: Not helping Thirz.


Adrian: Who would have known? Opening a door onto my scariest sister induces demon possession.

Cybil: You're playing with fire little boy.


Jude: Maybe I can win her baaaack!

Please stop.


Tosca: So. Ophira. I've been thinking about an heir for this little Name Game thing I'm doing.

Ophira: Good. Finally, I'm getting my dues from being stuck here-

Tosca: As you know, your sister is ageing up today.

Ophira: Yes, I can arrange her cab and maybe get Azure out too-

Tosca: So when she does, get out of my house. You ain't my heir.

Ophira:...Wow. Thanks.


I let them follow some whims and it went well.

Tosca: You're still my special Jude. But I'm never ever having another baby again.


Jude: That's my Tosca. Why did I ever say those things about her?

Tosca: *Squawk*


Thirza: Well hey there who pissed in your soup?

Sanjiv: So my publishers are shit and Yolanda's kid sister is a real little bitch-!

Thirza: Hahaha! That's awful! I'm going to die alone!


Azure: What's he so mad about?

Cybil: I got my revenge.

Adrian: Moving bus, Cybil! Moving bus!

Cybil: Maybe you deserved it.

Azure: Also your ex is here.

Cybil: Hardly my ex. And I invited him. You're welcome.


Meanwhile Cybil had that birthday. Congratulations girl you're my heir.

Cybil: Sounds excellent, yet more power.

And you're having five kids like your mother. Hopefully minus an accidental baby.

Cybil: .....Oh fuck I forgot that part.

She's an Erratic, Active Bookworm with the Jungle Explorer aspiration.

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