Hannah: I once had a sex dream about the LochNess monster.
Thirza: Good God woman...why do I still like you? I've threatened to kick people off decks for less...
Hannah: Ooooh feisty, you can be a monster in my-
Hannah: But not right now. Alright OK bye.
Thirza: Is there a female equivalent of blue balls...
Jude: Tosca. Tosca. Our daughter has no game.
Sanjiv: My beautiful Yolanda. Sorry we couldn't meet at your house...
Yoanda: It's all good and - oh no.
Conner: Swiggity swooty, coming for that-
Sanjiv: That's a familiar voice.
Thirza: Well the quality of house guests just goes right down when my siblings come home, huh?
Yolanda: Thirza. Ouch.
Cybil: I see they have met my joke of the day. Much better than pranks at school! I can just use people to annoy people! Anyway, off to work now. Hope everybody enjoys my stalker.
Conner: You're not Cybil.
Azure: Why I'm not, thank you for noticing.
Conner: Still hot tho.
Azure: Thats's one of the nicest things I've ever heard!
Yolanda: Sanjiv stop scowling at me like that. Your mother's perfectly lovely.
Sanjiv: You wouldn't think that if-
Yolanda: For one thing she looks kinda good in a bikini.
Tosca: Thank you, dear. You're exactly the daughter-in-law I'd want.
Sanjiv: MOTHER-
Yolanda: Wait what?
Thirza's grades came in! I'm very proud of her!
Conner: I've tried all my life to make your dumbass sisters love me! The amount of times I've carried books and taken the blame for their antics and even got boys' numbers for them!
Azure: Well...stop trying! Clearly Cybil and Ophira don't value you. Accept it and don't complain.
Ophira: So I finally got that promotion. I'm being recognised for - Conner Villareal, is that you?
Connr: In the flesh, doll. You know where Cybil is? Or Azure? Hell I'd even take Sanjiv.
Tosca: Don't let this hurt you. You don't want him.
Ophira: But I want him to want me.
Tosca: Hmph. No! I don't want that! You don't last long enough and you bore me. Sleep on the couch tonight!
Jude: Bu...my back pain tho!
Tosca: Screw you! You've never been man enough! You don't even take care of our appliance children!
Jude: What the hell Tosca?
Azure: And what about your real children, Mum?
Tosca: The worms have left my head, dearest. What did I do?
Jude: I don't know if I can get over it, Tosca. You implied I wasn't good enough for you, berated me for petty reasons AND said I was bad in bed! That really hurt.
Tosca: *sigh* I don't know why I get like this. How I can make it up to you?
Ophira: Don't steal my man, bitch.
Azure: I didn't do anything with Conner. And you don't even like him.
Ophira: But I don't want him to like anyone else!
Azure: That makes no sense. Did the electrical shock that broken laptop gave you go to your head or something?
Ophira: Nah. I'm just like this.
Thirza: Well hello, I'm just here with my needs drink considering I'm super behind on stuff - What is it, Hannah?
Hannah: I've been thinking.
Hannah: I've been thinking you're very cool, extremely pretty and the kind of person I need in my life.
Thirza: OMG you don't mean?
Hannah: I do mean, but let's wait until this baby is out of me.
Thirza: Right, the baby. Why is that a thing again?
Hannah: I stand by my choices, that Simeon-
Thirza: Don't tell me about this pls.
Hannah: I mean if this is gonna be thing you need to deal with this baby.
Thirza:...Must I?
Hannah: Plus I'm about to have it in your living room.
Thirza: This is definitely not a safe environment, go have it at a hospital.
Hannah: THIRZA, I can't GET TO THE HOSPITAL, I'm in LABOUR! With so many siblings wouldn't you - AAAAHHH - know that?!
Eventually it fell on Tosca to send the poor girl off-lot and get her baby born.
Jude: Guys your mother is literally unstable....
Sanjiv: Oh good Dad, you caught up with the rest of us.
Azure: Y'know, even though he grew up last night I might keep talking to Conner. He's alright.
Jude: Out of all the boys in this town, Az?
Sanjiv: Plus he's way too old for you.
Azure: So now you two wanna give a crap about me?
Thirza: Do you think I'd make a good stepmother, brother?
Sanjiv: Considering I was woken last night by your not-baby mama screaming for you to stop doing homework and help her because she was in labour, no.
Thirza: Whatever, Sinjin.
Cybil: It seems we've lost our hold over our former thrall, Phira.
Ophira: Indeed. Apparently he was given an 'epiphany' from a certain blue freshman. You better hunt that girl down!
Cybil: No, clearly she's right there, next to our brother.
Ophira: As if Azure has any game.
Sanjiv: Surely you should be more concerned about the now-adult man possibly going after our baby sister? Anyone? No?
Cybil: Eh. Anyway. I'll let him go. It was a very grade-school thing. I have better things to do.
Ophira: Yeah, 'cos I've noticed Solomon here sooo many times.
Cybil: Who says I'm talking about him? Do you think I actually save lives at Lani St Taz?
Ophira: Ugh, I have to admit you do look cute in that little outfit.
Tosca: Well I know I kind of crossed a line last night so...how else to make it better?
I don't know? Apologise or something? Anything but that!
Thirza: No Wolfgang! Clearly I'm over whatever positive feelings I harboured towards you. Lose my number, I have homework.
Wolfgang: No I get it. High school is crazy, right?
Thirza: University! If you think I'm in school why would you even - oh never mind!
Adrian: Yeah, Mum, you are a bit far out!
Tosca: *squawk* Come to me dolphin companions! We can fly into the sky.
Sanjiv: Dolphins don't - never mind.
Cybil: OK stop whining I didn't hit you that hard! It was just a fun game of dodgeball!
Azure: I was bleeding!
Cybil: Just your nose. Noses aren't important.
Sanjiv: Enough about Conway or whoever, fuck's sake!
Cybil: Keep up Sanjiv! Clearly we moved onto something else.
Tosca: Oh Cybil! Do you think your father will love me again?
Cybil: Wow. Boundaries, what are those?
It is Sanjiv's birthday!
Sanjiv: Time to finally leave this wretched place!
Tosca: Well lookee here it's ME!
Cybil: Reflection Mum. It's a ...ooh my face is in this computer!
Adrian: Ooooooh Sanjiv's got a girlfriend!
Tosca: Well not for long!
Sanjiv: Mum. Please. I don't want to get married!
Yolanda, on the phone: Like...ever? I know we're young but like...how long are you thinking!
Adrian: Yeah, not for long.
Yolanda: I'm ready to graduate with you and...not get married, I guess.
Sanjiv: I can't wait to begin our life, dearest.
Adrian: Ew. Gross. Why don't you just use people like Cybil?
Sanjiv: She's...not a role model.
Azure: Excuse me! Can you and your gross disgusting love get out of my way? I need a plate of comfort food!
Yolanda: Why are your siblings so cynical? For all your parents' flaws they at least have a pretty good marriage...
Azure: Yeah about that.
Sanjiv: Y'know what Landa? I take it back! Let's show 'em how it's done.
Yolanda: Take what back?
Tosca: OMGGGG it's gonna happen!
Azure: Wow, a big gesture. Sure hope it doesn't blow up in your face.
Sanjiv: She's just pissy 'cos her best hope right now is that stalker kid.
Yolanda: Conner Villareal? LOL that's actually really sad.
Sanjiv: Never mind that! She has ages to figure her shit out! Let's focus on us! Marry me Landa!
Yolanda: Wait really? OH, that's what you took back!
Azure: Great. Exactly what I wanna see.
Tosca: *happy dancing*
She said yes.
Back at UBrite for another guest lecture, plus an assorted motley crew of friends and family.
Kalama: Hi!
Sanjiv: Not her.
Yolanda:And yet you're staring right at her ass, fiance.
Sanjiv: Actually I'm not. Trying to do telepathy on Azure. I wanna keep tabs on her and make sure that little creep Conner isn't sniffing around.
Once Sanjiv was sure his baby sister was safely doing homework he took his lady love to the UBrite fountain.
Sanjiv: Let's do this right here! I can't wait another second!
Yolanda: Oh Sanjiv!
Sanjiv: I did it world! Sisters! I did it best and first, so suck it!
Yolanda: Yes, yes, you did. I really think you need to move out, it's clearly not healthy-
Sanjiv: I know I know, just let me have this!
And there we have it! Sealed with a kiss. It's one of the more scenic elopements I've had in this game.
After that Sanjiv moved in with his wife's family. Yolanda has two sisters, one of them being her twin who is about as deadpan and unimpressed by things as Yolanda herself, plus their baby sister Alina who is a miracle child, namely because their mother is about a hundred years old.
Unfortunately doing that kicked Thirza out of her guest lecture when I returned to the main family.
Thirza: Fucking Sanjiv, screwing shit up for me one last time. This is bullshit.
It IS so when she does the next one I'm just gonna cheat I genuinely don't care.
Thirza: And it ruined my Hannah date!
Hnannah: Was not a date, I am very postpartum.
And then Hawea the stalker vendor guy IMMEDIATELY started dying.
Hawea: Nooo...I was gonna break into that Sanjiv kid's new place tonight!
Death: Really? Nobody cares about this guy? Damn you lot are cold...anyway come with me, Hawea.
Back at home...
Tosca: Hey baby we got rid of one of the kids today.
Jude: Sweet, you found someone who'd take Adrian?
Tosca: No, dear.
Azure:...Coming through.
The shouting episode of last chapter appears to have awoken the irrepressible horniness these guys used to have for each other. WooHoo whims everywhere.
Tosca: Yeah, there's a part of you that loves my crazy.
Jude: I'm crazy in love with every part of you, girl. Shake that fatty!
Azure: I fucking hate my life.
Ophira: Wow that's...some hat, Manu.
Manu :I get that all the time. It's a replica of an explorer's hat from Princess Cordelia's times!
Ophira: My sister's very into her History degree, that name just gave me war flashbacks.
Jude: Gonna fix those sinks and keep my Tosca happy - oh what the hell.
Ophira: Your face is very close to mine, Manuia.
Manuia: And? This room is very small. I'll move if you want me to.
Ophira: Hmmph, lemme think 'bout it.
Jude: Maybe you guys should move. I don't need to see you...doing whatever this is, Phira.
Ophira: My Dad is wrong. Nothing more than friendship..for now. I will call you tomorrow.
Manuia: Hell yeah I'm down! You mind if I borrow a computer, yours are really good-
Ophira: This means go home, Manuia.
Cybil: Excuse me, world? How dare you let me go hungry?
Azure: By golly I have had a night.
Cybil: And by darn you're lame. *sigh* What's...up?
Azure: Well I saw that dear sweet vendor stalker pass away last night, and then it turns out Conner is married?
Cybil: Lol what sucker did he find to rope into that? Anyway. You'll do better, little sis. Once you find a boy who can remember your face, ha!
Ophira: DAD you really fucked this up for me, I was totally gonna kiss the cute boy in the bathroom last night!
Jude: Mmm...pancakes!
Ophira: On second thoughts I do forgive you, Dad. You were only trying to look out for me-
Jude: Actually, no. You're an adult and that guy seems perfectly fine. You can look after yourself. I was just trying to fix a sink. Who kisses in bathrooms?
Adrian is often ignored. I basically leave him autonomous.
Adrian: Yeah, you took your foot off the gas and now I live on the ground. Happy?
Eh.
Manuia: You promise your father won't randomly appear in a bathroom.
Ophira: We're outside for a reason today, Manuia.
Ohira: Anyway how u doin old timey explorer boi.
Manuia: You know my name.
Ophira: Yet your aesthetic is far more memorable.
Cybil: This is bullshit. I didn't even break it.
Thirza: Prove it.
Cybil: Uh, I was trapped in the bathroom between Mum and her terrible jokes and Azure with her weeping. Why does she miss that old stalker?
Thirza: Because he gave her attention, even if it was creepy.
JudeL Oop, don't mind me, just passing through.
Ophira: Dad...
Manuia: Uh, hi Mr S.
Jude: Hello. Uh, friend of my daughter's. Or not, or more? I don't know-
Ophira: Just go!
Cybil: Ugh why do I have to watch the little shit?
Adrian: Bitch pls I'm raising myself.
Cybil: Raise yourself somewhere else then.
Great. Another teen boy.
Bryce: What? Everybody tells me this is where those cute Sutherland girls live! I wanna take a shot with one!
They're all getting too old. Besides, even Azure wouldn't go near you, away with you.
Bryce: But I put on my beachy headwrap and everything.!
Background...
Manuia: Oh lord what am I in now?
Ophira: *scree* See?! I'm a chicken! HEAR ME.
Cybil: Why are you following me around you little creep?
Adrian: Ooh. Am I annoying? Maybe I'm annoying you. But I need attention which means I have the right to do this!
Cybil: Hey, are you mocking me? You don't get to do that!
LOL Adrian thank you, she needed to hear that.
Cybil: I was never that annoying! Was I?
Manuia:...That's a really realistic costume.
Nope.
Girl can't catch a break. She confessed her attraction and Manuia wasn't having it.
Ophira: Well. That wasn't a smart move.
Manuia: Look, you're a good friend but let's just chill down on the declarations.
Ophira: You're in my domain, Manuia. Whether you believe it or not I am a mermaid, and the ocean is always on my side.
Manuia: Oh God it's not a costume is it? Oh God oh God why do I want to come closer to the woman?
Ophira: Have you learned your lesson now? I will tell the eels to release your feet.
Manuia: *glub glub*
Ophira: Will you belong to me?
Manuia: *gasp**wheeze*
Ophira: Good enough. Siren's release, surface!
Tosca: Handiness homework, huh? Well just give me a wrench and I'll show you handy! Eh?
Thirza: What kind of joke is that? Is it even a joke? What the-
Ophira: The poor dear is off home unconscious in a canoe. Tomorrow I go for phase 2, Operation Ariel. If all went well he won't remember a thing.
Hannah: You are my sunshine, Hannah! The only one I've got! The only thing that'll make me happy when skies are grey!
Ophira: That's oddly inspiring. Date yourself and all. But also, date my sister.
Cybil: Who cares about Adrian? He's irrelevant. But I'm not. I'm pretty great in fact! Screw him.
Tosca: You've got a pretty great ego for one thing
REALLY?
Hannah: Screw you! I'm not in the mood. I'm grieving, y'know?
Thirza: N-no! I didn't know! Of course I won't hit on you at all now! We can talk about anything-
Hannah: No! I'm done with you for today! All you want is sex from me even during a vulnerable time! Disgusting.
Thirza: But I...I - no! I just said you were pretty!
Hannah: To what ends? I wish that old spellcaster were still alive!
On the other side of that wall...
Cybil: I'm really the only one of us with any game. Ain't that right, Wall?
Sanjiv literally got married.
Cybil: Does he really count tho?
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