The Name Game - 1.9


Here's our teen Cybil. She grew up adorable. Looking a lot like her mother, but still less cloney than most of her siblings.


Ophira: What if I didn't catch him tho?

Adrian: I'm in danger.

 

Yolanda: Is this kid really gonna watch me the whole time?

Adrian: I just want a friend OwO

Sanjiv: I mean nobody's watching him.

Tosca: Motherf - OW, hey random girl, get me a BandAid?

Yolanda: Seriously what's wrong with this house?


Thirza: But you see, Cordelia's leadership depended on an unstable hegemony and vastly unequal power-sharing, which is why her reign lasted only ten years before huge change-

Yolanda: Mhm. Yes. Interesting. Why don't you write the essay down instead of reciting it?

Thirza: Because it's just so interesting. Right?

Cybil: Mhm. Now keep telling her and not me. God knows I've earned that.


Sanjiv: Right. Sorry about them. This should be more private.

Yolanda: Sure...uh, behind you?

Azure: Wheeee! Are you guys gonna kiss upside down?

Sanjiv: No Az, you're upside down.


Sanjiv: Hey girl you cute as fuck.

Yolanda: Wow, uh...thanks. Is she still there?

Sanjiv: Ignore her, most people do.


Azure: Gonna ignore THAT comment and leave you two alone! I ship it!

Sanjiv: Wow thanks Az! You see, that's the nicest thing one of my sisters has said to me in ages!

Yolanda: Wait, really? You guys had messed up childhoods.

Azure: Girl you don't even know the half of it.


Yolanda: Wow Sanjiv! A single plastic rose! Where'd you get that?

Sanjiv:...A lot of tourists have beach dates around here. Sorry about the secondhandness, I'm poor.

Yolanda: That's OK you sweet boy...


He then went in for the kiss!

Yolanda: Just a bit further, Sanjiv.


Cybil: Ugh, really? Right in front of my salad?

Sanjiv: *dreamy sigh* There's salad...well even salad doesn't compare to Yolanda!

Yolanda: Oh Sanjiv, you're too kind.

Cybil:...Go somewhere else this is nasty!


Sanjiv: Guess what guys...I now have a girlfriend. And I'm the first of you lot to have one so there.

Cybil: Yeah. I saw. Eurgh.

Thirza: Most marriages end in divorce or unhappiness anyway. I don't feel I'm missing out.

Cybil: Also what about boyfriends, one of us could be the first for that!

Thirza: You need to leave that Chaim kid alone, Cyb.


With one final donation of a hat, Tosca's knitting aspiration is finished.

Tosca: And I have the knowledge now or whatever. Ugh.

She's now moving onto Big Happy Family. Basically to make sure somebody raises Adrian, the poor child.


Cybil: This place is depressing. Poorly lit, soundtracked by Thirza's depressing-ass violin playing-

Thirza: This is Opus No. 81 I'll have you know-

Cybil: Whatever. And I just had to listen to Sanjiv of all people brag.


Cybil: Chaim. I have a point to prove.

Chaim: I should have known a free iPod was too good to be true.

Azure: Free iPod? Is it 2010?

Cybil: Azure get out of the background and finish your aspiration. I did lie using Sanjiv's phone to get you here, but I promise. I'm different now. I'm grown-up. And I look cute :)


Cybil: We're going to have a nice conversation. Do you understand.

Chaim: HASDFHIAHSIJ yes STOP!

Cybil: Good!


Cybil: Hahaha yeah! A funny joke. Seriously, where would you put the screw-

Chaim: Maybe you're not so bad. Like you are really hot.

Cybil: Ha. I know.

Azure: Awww snap. Men and their hormones, it is quite sad.

Chaim: Does she always do that?


Cybil: I'll give you answer. Put the screw in me.

Chaim: That doesn't even make sense tho.


Cybil: You have such a nice fragile neck..

Chaim: oh God please don't say that now I remember why I'm scared of you.

Cybil: There's no need to be scared of me, I'm just a sweet girl who may be a teensy bit crushing on you-

Chaim: Wait REALLY is that why you've been so weird?

Thirza: Seriously dude. Dense as a brick.


Cybil: Now piss off I wanna dance and feel the rhythm.

Chaim: What just happened?

Ophira: Yeah, my crazy baby sister...she's sweet, but - Chaim look over here.

Cybil: See, he can't keep his eyes off me.

Ophira: That's 'cos you're a weirdo, I'm much prettier-

Chaim: Eh.

Ophira:...Well!


Adrian: Someone notice me. Anyone!

Chaim: Shush, kid. Maybe you two are both the worst. I don't even know why I hang out here.

Cybil: 'Cos you can't get enough of-

Chaim: Yes I can! Like what is wrong with you as a person?!?

Cybil: Well whatever. I just wanted to use you to get one over Sanjiv. So leave!

Chaim insulted her. Turns out he is Mean. Birds of a feather or a relationship that will go nowhere? We'll find out.


Cybil: How about we don't let boys come between us, bestie?

Ophira: We're stronger united after all. And if either of us slaps him or actually gets with him, I will be supportive.

Cybil: Right. But it would be me.

Ophira: Who's to say?


Apparently this kid is also Mean. What's with these boys?

Gino: Hahahahaha you look so stupid playing chess by yourself.

Azure: Shut up man, it's a family tradition.

Gino: Then your family is stupid!

Azure:...Can't really disagree there actually.


Gino: Ayyy she's hot.

Who invited you in here?

Ophira, behind the door: I can hear you, and I'll let you down easy. Not a damn chance you troglodyte.

Gino: Damn girl, that's you going easy? Then I'd like you to make something hard-

OK OUT


The next of the morning...

Cybil: Well that didn't go to plan. But there's so many more people in the world. I'm sure my weirdness will be hot to ONE of them...

Also your face girl. You are so cute.


Ophira: Heeeeyyyy ain't I a majestic one?


Sanjiv: Hey Dad I've got a girlfriewiafhia-

Jude: Oh what the Christ now? Thirza, can you help-

Thirza: Wrench is under the bathroom sink, leave me alone.


Cybil: Your title as 'only sibling in relationship' remains, dear brother-

Sanjiv: What? I don't care! There's still splinters everywhere and WHY ARE YOU KICKING ME, ADRIAN?

Adrian: This is my bed!

Cybil: But be afraid! I will find myself a partner and it will be glorious!

Sanjiv: With your personality probably not!

Cybil: Oooh feisty!


Ophira: Dominik! My friend! Hi, it's been a while!

Jude: Hands to yourself, boy...

Ophira: Don't mind him, he has no real power.


Ophira: Seriously he builds all those muscles and is like 'blah blah blah no fighting, children, I'm a wimp-'

Tosca: You've got a point about that.

Ophira: Right?

Dominik: Haha yeah Ophira you're funny.


I don't know what happened but I looked away for two seconds and these two were at 'Offensive Conversation'.

Ophira: I dunno either. I just said his entire ensemble was ugly and inappropriate for the beach.

Dominik: You said you'd rather I wear cat sick.

Ophira: Was I wrong?

Tosca: Piss, moan, huff my daughter has no game.

Cybil: At least they're not doing this shit in front of me.


Sanjiv: Yeah sure, stalker of my sisters! Come right on over!

Conner: Thanks Sanjiv, still got that address saved! Be over in a jiffy.

Sanjiv: Why did I even try sarcasm?


Cybil: Oh, hi minion. Can you clean my side of the room for me? Azure's getting pissy.

Jude: God why is this little creep back?

Conner: My Cybil. What should I do first?

Cybil: Clean up the dust with your toothbrush. Btw Dad, men have their uses.

Jude: Who taught you that?

Cybil: Thirza. Mum. Why do you think she wanted you to stick around forever?


Azure: Thanks for cleaning up. Now go home. My siblings already invite enough weirdos round here, we don't need the worst of them.

Conner: Fine. I notice you've fulfilled something. A goal, perhaps.

Azure: YES I finished my aspiration. Nobody else noticed...maybe you're not so bad.


Sanjiv: So, sister. How goes the manhunt?

Ophira: It's about to turn into a real manhunt if these fuckers don't grow a pair. Yes, I compared your clothes to vomit, get over it.

Sanjiv:...Ooh wonder why you're single? Seriously, just say they're beautiful. I'll even lend you a plastic rose.


Cybil is channelling her mother.

Cybil: She was right, this is relaxing.  Hope a hot merperson swims by.


What the shit Rohan. Do we even know you.

Adrian: Mother what are you doinggggg

Rohan: This hurts. It's like a spear right in the tip of-

Tosca: Ixnay in front of the kid!

Rohan: Ma'am he's already traumatised.


Ophira: I just don't get it! How do you make somebody like you without brutal criticism? Surely honesty is key.

Rohan: You ask me, a stranger, this?

Ophira: Why not? Everybody else is useless.

Rohan: OK. Just start off being nice. Honesty can come later. Now can you help me, I think I've got the wrong address-

Ophira: Wait, wait! Can I practice on you? You're kinda cute...

Rohan: Uh...I'm married, almost middle-aged and I'm pretty sure you're 17. So no.


Ophira: And where are you off to?

Cybil: My job! I'm the newest Lani St. Taz lifeguard!

Ophira: Who let you do that?

Cybil: Beats me lol.


Thirza wanted to show off her muscles.

Thirza: Wha-bam! Eat that, Dad!

Hannah: WOW you have...no guns at all but I admire the confidence!

Tosca: Lol, fail my daughter, epic fail.


Hannah: Actually it kind of worked.

Thirza: Anyway it's good to see you, Hannah. All weekend I've ben working and trying to avoid the weapons-grade freaks my siblings invite over. Apart from Yolanda, that kid's kinda cool.

Hannah: Huh. Notice anything different about me?

Thirza: New clothes? Hair?

Hannah: No silly. I'm an adult now.

Thirza:...Oh.


Jude's home with a promotion to the top of his career. Well done.

Meanwhile Cybil...

Cybil: Did I save lives today? No. But did anyone die? Also no. Did I get three phone numbers? Hell yes.


And with Jude finally having some free time, he reconnects with his wife.

Jude: Oh Tosca, you still make my heart a-flutter.

Tosca: *mwah* I bet I can make something else 'flutter', heh heh heh.

Jude: That doesn't make sense.

Rohan: Why am I still here?


They then went to WooHoo in their new fancy bed.

Tosca: You ready for your winner's welcome?

Jude: Hell yeah! This bed is so comfy! Like that's a great mattress, I can't wait to sleep on it! 

Tosca: No dummy, I was obviously talking about sex.

Jude:...I might be getting old.


Rohan why are you still here. And Hawea! Why are you here again?

Rohan: They have a way better gaming PC than I could hope to afford.

Hawea: Is that Underblind?

Rohan:...Overwatch.

LEAVE


Really Hannah? I want to SHIP you with THIRZA for heaven's sake.

Hannah: Dunno, there's just something about that grey ponytail.


Tosca: So. Family. How are we all today?

Thirza: Um...lots of classes, I'm a bit stressed.

Jude: I have a day off so I can fade into the background again.

Cybil: That idiot Chaim graduated and now I'll never get my revenge...

Jude: Why was a boy close to graduating even coming near you! You're barely fifteen!


Cybil: Dad, I can handle myself.

Tosca: I'd normally disagree but she put the fear of God into him with one look. 

Cybil: And I sang 'these hands were made for throttling' at him.

Azure: That's not even a clever parody.

Jude:...I have too many daughters.

Sanjiv: Well what about me?

Jude: What about you? You're fine, right?


Tosca: Please hurry up, we've all got things to do.

Adrian: Even if this is my screentime, I'm gonna milk it!


Tristan: The actual fuck.

Caleb: Whaddup bitches!

Adrian: Aaaaah scary! What is that?

Caleb: You never seen a vampire run before?

Sanjiv: That's a rude way to talk about your only brother, Adrian.


Caleb: Boo! That's a terrible tweet.

Tosca: I don't remember fucking asking, Caleb.


Kids are back. Sanjiv got an A from home somehow. Azure got hers, while Cybil is still on a B.

Ophira where are you going?

Ophira: Running away. Nobody appreciates me.


Why do visitors wanna creepily hang around the nursery?

Solomon: I mean you told me this was Cybil's room.

Azure: It is. Trust me, she hates it.

Solomon: Well I would.

Azure: Yeah. Fair. Sit tight, she's still swimming. And could you clean up in here a bit?


Solomon: I cleaned your room, does that count for something?

Cybil: Uh sure...thank Azure for that. Wily little...anyway, how are you?

Solomon: Better in your presence, Cyb.

Cybil: Hmmm, you're smooth. Better than most of the guys I talk to.

Solomon: Hey I go to our high school too. I know that's a low bar.


Azure: Well hello there. How's your search coming along, Cybil? Ready to rub it in Sanjiv's face even though I don't think he cares?!

Solomon:...What?

Cybil: Oh, that sister of mine. Imagination out the wazoo.


Solomon: Hot damn I didn't know you had a sister!

Ophira: Hot being the operative word there?

Solomon: Oh YEAH.

Cybil: I will gut you both like fish...


Thirza: More idiots? Why do you people do this to me?

Cybil: Oh my God can all of you just leave me alone.

Solomon: Another sister? Hey girl-

Thirza: Don't even try, boy.


Cybil: Just kiss me. You're alright and I'm bored.

Solomon: The hell is going on?

Cybil: A lot of people say that...now shh. *smooch*


Cybil: Sit on the couch with me I wanna do that again.

Solomon: Happily! Damn, that ass!

Jude: Gonna pretend I didn't hear that.


Solomon: Ayy girl you got a bed then.

Cybil: Thirza was right. Men are irrepressibly horny. Look, you know my little siblings sleep in there and I'm pretty sure doing anything on my bed would be a crime.

Solomon:...Anywhere at all?

Cybil:...We've got a shower.

They never used it cos I sent her to bed.


After watching Jude bum around for a whole day, I decided he needs a new hobby. So he will be painting.

Jude: : I'm starting off with something kind of furious, kind of avant-garde. It's called 'fuck this seagull in particular'.

He was beachcombing and got shat on lmao.


Cousin Mason grew up and got married.


A few hours later his parents had their third child. Another daughter.


Ophira: Some day my prince will- OW, WALL-

Thirza: Pull it together you're graduating today!

Ophira: Adrian can you get the clawhammer?

Adrian: I'm just gonna run away.

Thirza: Smart choice, little man.

Ophira: Guuuuys, come on. Being stuck in a wall is NOT attractive.

Thirza: That's your biggest problem with it?


Cybil: Sanjiv, you can suck it! I almost have a boyfriend now so stop acting so high and mighty!

Sanjiv; I'm...not though. I'm literally just living my life. Sure, the love of my sweet Yolanda has made me more confident-

Cybil: Ugh! Disgusting! So I made out with him for nothing?

Sanjiv: Well, if you didn't enjoy it than yeah.

Cybil: Hmmm...did I?

Thirza: Wow guys this isn't distracting at all.


Ophira: That doesn't sound like Happy Birthday.

Thirza: I changed it up a bit. Minor keys make everything better.

Jude: Not always dear.

Thirza: Whatever Dad at least I'm doing something.

Comments