The Name Game

Thirza: Right, gotta ace this essay if I want a chance at college...

Sanjiv: Yay, freshman maths assignments!

Thirza: You shouldn't be happy about those.

Tristan: Woo! Yeah! You can do it, kids.

Sanjiv: Uncle Tris we don't need a peanut gallery for our homework.

Cybil's working on her Scamp aspiration.

Cybil: No...noooo... the typing exercise, it is too strong!

She's doing great.

Azure is also her usual self: ignored and boring.

Azure: How am I boring? I'm totally bad and fun like my siblings. I sat in sand today and now I'm rubbing it all over CYBIL'S bed.

OK that's actually pretty evil.

Ophira: The club gathering ended, Chaim. Leave.

Chaim: I'm just helping with your dishes.

Ophira: Whatever.

Cybil: Ignore her, I'm here :)

Tristan: Surely you're a bit young-

Cybil: You've never taken an active interest in our lives before, don't start now.

Hannah is also still here.

Hannah: Hey Sanjiv, where's your sister at.

Ophira: Still here.

Hannah: Clearly I didn't mean you.

Sanjiv: Uh...in in the house. Or at work.

Hannah: Ah yes, Thirza did mention her job. She's so sweet...

Sanjiv: *choke* The same Thirza? The one who threatened to dropkick me into the ocean last week?

Tristan: Wow, way to look attractive in front of a girl, Sinjin.

Ophira: Oh he doesn't care, he cares for Yolandaaaa...

Sanjiv: Dammit Phira.

Tristan: Tell me more. I don't care but it'll be fun to watch you squirm.

Hannah: This would be funny, but alas I must go.

Cybil: Be close to me!

Ophira: Bit creepy there-

Luciano: Seems harmless, she's just got a kid crush.

Ophira: I know Cybil. You don't. We should all be afraid.

Cybil: Mine...forever.

Azure: Who the crap are these three idiots?

Sanjiv: I'm your brother, Azure. You know that.

Chaim: So when does your sister grow up again?

Sanjiv: OK that's creepy.

Luciano: Heyo homeslice, better stay in the line.

Sanjiv: It's my fridge. God I need a coffee.

Chaim: It's not because of that. She is starting to scare me and it's all over when she's tall.

Sanjiv: What, you think I can help you?

Thirza: One hour of free time. I get one hour of free time a day and there's idiots everywhere. Ugh.

Meilani: Any of you seen my Yolanda?

Dominik: Sanjiv's friend?

Meilani: Ugh I've told her not to hang around that little pervert.

Hannah: Chaim I don't give a shit she's a little girl-

Chaim: She 'just reminded' me that she could strangle me, who says that?

SURPRISE SURPRISE

Hawea: What is it you kids play? Uh...Minecraft? How's the Minecraft going?

Thirza: No. Fuck off.

The next morning...

Jude: So that plughole is the stuff of nightmares. Why is everybody's hair falling out? Do they have nutritional deficiencies?

Sanjiv: I think Yolanda grew up last night...

Thirza: Great. Good for you. I'll be here when it fails.

Sanjiv: You really are way too cynical, Thirz.

Thirza: Then try living my life.

Sanjiv: Try living mine! People still call me Sinjin half the time!

Jude: Kids! What do you think of my new shirt? Hip, right?

Thirza: Bags not telling him. Come on, Sinny, tell em what you think.

Sanjiv: Ugh.

Tosca: Who smells like dead fish and sucks in general? A mermaid.

Jude: But Tosca-

Tosca: Tristan, to be more clear. Probably Ophira too. But not me I'm great.

Jude: Sure you are. Sure.

Tristan: WHY is your irresponsible ass having another child, Tossie?

Tosca: Why don't you mind your business Tristan? Do you know where your wife was the other day?

Tristan: I NEVER know where she is but THAT'S IRRELEVANT-

Tosca: And my point is made.

Tosca: Tristan you've made your point I'm trying to knit!

Tristan: You sold all the baby furniture! How are you possibly gonna prepare for-

Tosca: Tristan please, that's enough. My children are and will be functioning members of society.

Tristan: They function like we do.

Tosca: Well that's an insult and a half!

Ophira: My scales are itchy...I can feel them rotting under my legs.

Sanjiv: How many times must I tell you I don't care?

Thirza: For fuck's sake - what are you two whining about now?

Cybil: She pushed me into a nasty puddle!

Azure: See! The ignored bites back.

Thirza: Can you bite back differently? She smells awful!

Tosca: My son, I have a question - do we ever really know what the birds do?

Sanjiv: Oh lord I already hate this.

Tosca: We don't! At least, you unenlightened don't. I know the truth. The birds work for the bourgeoisie!

Thirza: Oh God oh God what's it gonna say?

Thirza grows up tomorrow so she's opening her university letter.

Thirza: Oh hell yeah! Watch out world, I'm coming...with a full ride we are so poor holy shit.

Azure: Never heard her so happy...

What the fuck Eric. No.

Thirza: How did you get this number?

Hannah: Oh hi Thirza! Don't you normally work now?

Thirza: Yeah I'm late. Got caught up celebrating the good news from Britechester - I'm going to Uni!

Hannah: Amazing! How'd you celebrate?

Thirza: Chess.

Hannah: Naturally.

Cybil: We deserve more attention in this legacy, don't we Blarffy?

Blarffy: Hear nothing, see nothing.

Cybil: And yet you speak to me. Come onnnn I wanna plot. Ooh has anyone seen Chaim? He won't return my calls.

Hannah: There's another one? Who are you?

Azure: It's OK. You don't need to know! Nobody does! I'm happy :)

Hannah: I'm concerned.

For fuck's sake.

Azure: It wasn't me. Which is why I'm gonna leave as quickly as possible byeeee.

Azure: Sinjin.

Sanjiv: Azula.

Azure: As the most ignored kids of this family surely we should have some sort of friendship.

Sanjiv: Yeah our relationship is really underdeveloped.

Thira: Put that meta stuff back where it came from or so help me-

Azure: Well someone's grouchy.

Sanjiv: I just can't get up the nerve, she grew up so pretty-

Azure: Dude, grow a pair.

Cybil: Is this about Yolanda? Lol she isn't even that pretty.

Azure: This isn't about you, Cybil. Quit interrupting.

Cybil: Well I never, how rude!

Sanjiv: I like this whole 'taste of their own medicine' thing, Az.

Azure: Right?

Tosca: Give me your circuitry!

Tosca don't break that we only have one. You have work.

It's Thirza's birthday!

Tosca: I'm too young to have an adult daughter.

Not really. What is weird is that Thirza's youngest sibling isn't born and she's an adult.

Jude: Just need to wrap up this speech and then I'll celebrate.

Thirza: Whatever Dad can I just get this over with.

Next Miss Thirza enrolled in university. I'm gonna have her stick around.

Thirza: Please don't make me have six children.

No possibility of that, clone, you're not the heir.

Jude: My beautiful spirited wife, I just want to ravish you-

Tosca: Please do, but not now. I'm in labour.

Jude: Waitwhat.

Tosca: Labour. You know what that is right.

Anyway this is Adrian, who for some reason shows up in the portrait bar with dark skin, but is actually a fetching shade of blue.

He is not eligible for heir as he's not a lettered kid.

If he's a good genetic mix I'mma be pissed ngl.

Thirza: Of course I'm feeding you despite the fact you have two perfectly adequate parents...is this why I was kept around? Seriously?

Jude: How do I know you again?

Caleb: We talked on your porch once for two hours. Ten years ago, but I've never forgotten!

Jude:...Just don't do anything weird. And stay away from my eldest. She's stressed about her university homework and might bite you.

Chaim:...I think I got the wrong address.

Cybil: There he is. My human.

Chaim: You're a human too. Wait, why is THAT my concern?

Ophira: What a good prank I played on Chaim. That'll teach him to 'meh' my new outfit in front of everyone.

Azure: But you wear the same thing every day.

Ophira: You shut up, you smell.

Sanjiv: How about both of you are really effing distracting?

Caleb: This is not why I came here.

Tosca: Come on, do that stitch again! You scrub...damn I love being good at things.

Caleb: Well you're a bad teacher, oh wife of Jude.

Azure:...Why are you two in here?

Chaim: Hiding.

Hannah: Naturally. This bed is really comfy, just sit down.

Azure: I think my parents conceived me in here.

Thirza: Now why would you say that?

Skyler: Heard there was a beach party here, whaddup hoes.

Hannah:...Pretty sure there's not. This isn't even my house.

Cybil: I can bring the party all by myself.

Skyler: Who is this kid?

Tosca is doing more knitting tutoring. She tried to do this in her underwear so I MC Dresser'd her into something decent.

Tosca: Which is totally oppression, right?

Chaim: If it makes you feel better, Ms S, I definitely preferred the underwear.

Tosca: Ha now you really can't talk Tristan!

Tristan: This is our THIRD baby, half of your SIX!

Tosca:A t least me and Jude still like each other.

Here's Thirza's YA makeover. She's actually really pretty when she's smiling.

Thirza: Doesn't happen often around here, huh?

Jude: There's sure a lot of plates around, Ophira.

Ophira: My siblings' fault.

Jude: I know, but could you be a dear and clean them-

Ophira: Gotta go to school byeeee

Jude: It's 7am...sigh.

Ophira: Dad did you just say sigh out loud? Damn you're broken.

Thirza: Sanjiv if you don't stop breathing down my neck I'm going to poke your eye out with my bow.

Sanjiv: I just wanted to say you're doing good-

Thirza: I know I am. Go to school.

Cybil's taking the day off. She has an A and grows up tomorrow so I want her to finish that second aspiration.

Cybil: I really am the best. Now lemme at that yellow diamond! I want it even though it looks like piss!

Tosca: Well. This kinda sucks.

Suddenly EVERYBODY in the house is ill. Sanjiv took medicine last night, Cybil took it this morning and now Tosca needs it. $50 is a lot of money to this family gd it.

Thirza's home from her classes and Hannah wanted to come over.

Thirza: Just for me?

Hannah: Duh? You're the only beacon of sanity here and I love this property.

Thirza: Oh...

Hannah: I mean, you're kind of a cool person too.

Thirza: OH! :)

Tosca: You Jude! I need you to fix the plumbing, so to say-

Jude: Uh, Tosca come on my brother's right here-

Darius: At least you're still getting some.

Tosca: No I mean it. The sink pipe's busted again. Go fix it.

Luciano: Ey you're kind of hot for an older lady.

Leila: Christ when did she acquire another kid?

Luciano: I don't live here I just followed Ophira home.

Leila: That's not reassuring.

Sanjiv: The people in this romance novel are so RICH why can't we be rich?

Uh...your babysitting job starts tomorrow?

Sanjiv: Well I'll just imagine Yolanda as the female lead and keep reading.

Wolfgang: What? She's intimidating! I need tips!

Yeah, nothing creepy about inviting some CHILD over to your house alone.

Cybil: So I can't go?

NO.

Ophira: You are the most bland and boring little brat I've ever seen! Even the baby is more memorable than you! He can be the new A kid and you can be called Whitebread!

Thirza: Don't insult bread. Bread made this grilled cheese and this grilled cheese tastes good.

Azure: What did I DO?