Rivella: Thanks for caring about my birthday, guys...
Grenadine: You're way less important than sleep, sorry sis.
Cola, watching TV: Ooh, who's she gonna pick...what was that Rivella?
Rivella: How does it feel to know that I could crush you like a bug?
Grenadine: *smile crawls to the side of her face*
Rivella: An answer?
Grenadine:...Seriously, sorry we all missed your birthday. Can you get over it outside the bathroom?
Rivella: Sigh, and of course I have to babysit this BABY while my mother entertains her booty call or something.
Gin-Fizz: No you don't. Go somewhere else, your fat ass is right on my feet!
Nicola: RAAAAARGH, I'm a - Grenadine you're nowhere near me. Damn you'd die if you were ever in a gunfight. Not that I know anything about that...
Grenadine: Yeah yeah Granny, you're a respectable politician, we know to say that now.
Lux: So. You're the famous Ivy.
Ivy: Haha, well-
Lux: Listen. Cola isn't perfect, and even if she's pushing 40 she's still our little girl, OK? So don't you do anything to deliberately hurt her.
Nicola: We are quite powerful, aren't we Luxy?
Lux: Yes dear. And even if Cola's off in space, talking to aliens and making all her crazy inventions - we will always be behind her.
Ivy: Good. I respect that. Besides, none of your threats will have to happen, as I do care for your daughter a lot, Mrs Sutherlands.
Rivella: Dude you are too old to pull off that haircut!
Brant Hecking: Well screw you, whoever you are! What's your problem?
Rivella: Mostly the world, but right now, you, you rapidly ageing excuse of a person! How come you get a happy life and I get, well...
Brant: Oooh, we're dealing with a spoilt little brat then? Run home and cry to your mummy!
Rivella: I heard your husband pissed his pants.
Brant: Seriously who are you.
Rivella: Hahaha! This makes me feel so much better about my crappy life!
Brant: Why me? Your problems aren't my fault, little girl!
Cola:...Why can't I just find that fucking element?
So, it's almost Sunday and like Cola has said, we cannot find that last element. Basically that's a challenge failure...there's one every generation, isn't there? For fuck's sake. I have been doing everything to try and find this damn element but...it ain't working.
I'll just give Cola to the end of the generation to do it. But we still need a new collectible for the week, even if I'm technically not supposed to switch collections until I finish the first one.
Cola: Can I finally open the ~40 capsules in my inventory then?
Rivella has found a healthier outlet in video games, I guess? She did like them.
Rivella: Oh please, these noobs on Fifa online are getting eviscerated even WORSE!
Grenadine: You've been grey for a while, Granny, but I think you're even getting a bald spot!
Nicola: See I told you I'm not seeing things, Lux, the kid's right! Just admit that you have-
Lux: I don't know of what you speak.
Nicola:...Raise this one yourself, Cola. I'm serious.
Gin-Fizz: Right, the red one is my mother.
Nicola: I'm serious!
Cola: Yeah, yeah, I know! Come on Gin, let's learn some skills!
What is it with lost kids showing up at this house?
Gene: I can't find the retirement home, er, I mean my family home.
This kid's actually cute, if it wasn't for the grey hair.
*one CAS visit later*
Gene: *cries* Why did you give me black hair, now what will my personality be?
Shh I'll figure it out.
Grenadine: Bow down to me, I am the queen!
Gene: Bubble bubble, toil and trouble.
This kid is really cute. So I sent Grena for an introduction. He also has a little green brother (they have an alien father and human mother), but he's still a toddler.
Rivella: You shouldn't worry about me, Granny. I have plenty of ambitions.
Nicola: And I encourage ambitions in general! I'm worried...about the kind of ambitions you have.
Rivella: I know perfectly well you spent your entire adult life scamming people, get off your high horse.
Nicola: Touché.
Gin-Fizz: Can one of y'all just read me a book, please, I've been asking for two hours.
Gene: What up beautiful? You look fiiiine.
Gin-Fizz: I don't wanna be here.
Rivella: Scram, kid.
Gin-Fizz: OK, I'll leave then!
Rivella: Not you, you're fine.
Gene: What I get from that is 'I should call you on my birthday'.
Rivella:...How? No way you get my number. Which one of you little shits let a stranger in the house?
Nicola: I mean clearly it was Grena.
Grenadine: Snitch! But I didn't invite him in, he followed me.
Nicola: I told you you shouldn't get some strange child to play pirates with you and be your 'ship bitch'.
Grenadine: I need a whipping boy around, Grandma!
Rivella: So my family are idiots, but what's new? Get the fuck out, child.
Gene: Aww...
Rivella: God Youtube's boring. I need something stronger...
Cola:...Seriously Shayne? I'm a mother of three about to hit forty, so I'm in my damn bed! I don't give a crap about about you, but at least call your daughter next time!
Shayne: Get her a fake ID and then yeah, sure.
Cola: Not what I - ugh your mid-life crisis is so sad.
I accidentally left the game unpaused for a bit. The oldies of the house took that as an opportunity to have some almost-midnight pool time.
Nicola: Heh, the kids certainly are interesting, aren't they dear?
Lux: I expected pure, uncut Sutherland to show up at some point. I was about as bad as Miss Riv when I was young, in that other universe. But it's all a faraway dream now.
Nicola: Yeah, I'm glad you can just ignore that crap now! We haven't talked about your mother in YEARS.
Lux: *mutters* Yeah well I still hate that bitch...
I must ask: what the hell is going on in the Hecking household?
Rivella, somewhere: Shit, I can use this!
Later that night Stacy had her twin girls. I got to name them bc MCCC settings.
...I think poor Lux might need to retire soon.
Lux: Those damn chairs at the hideout are no good for my old back!
Rivella: You don't seem happy. That kind of makes my day better.
Cola: Pure, uncut Sutherland...why didn't I listen to my mother when she warned me?
Rivella: Well, Mother, you made your bed when it comes to our relationship.
Rivella: Hello, interloper.
Gin-Fizz: Hey, our other sister did that before me.
Rivella: Yeah, yeah, I remember...'she's purple, she's so cool'...all of that crap. Y'know I actually tried to impress-
Gin-Fizz: I don't have time to listen to this, just give me my applesauce.
Grenadine: Ignore Riv, sis. She's just bitter because Mum never hung out with her. Big whoop, she never hung out with me. I thought Grandma Nic was my mum until I was five.
Gin-Fizz:...Let me eat my breakfast, please.
Grenadine: Seriously. Forget her. I'm purple, and we've actually seen your other parent since you were born. Rivella is our mother's mistake.
Cola:...Well, she's way smarter than I thought. Always figured Riv was the intellectual out of that pair, but she can't even do that right, figures.
Cola!
Rivella: Ugh, Granny Lux was wrong, this didn't channel my rage at all. I'm exhausted and still angry at the world.
Nicola: Why the hell am I looking after you again? She promised!
Gin-Fizz: Not my fault, you raised her...
Nicola: Child, you are way too smart-mouthed for your own good! Though...you're the youngest in this clan, it makes sense!
Gin-Fizz: Go potty, Rivella, go potty!
Rivella:...I hate having siblings. Y'know I already learned like ten years ago?!
Tracksuit guy: -Whatever about your girlfriend. I'll totally watch you guys m-
Ivy: Do you think that's charming? Because it isn't...
Cola: Hey, Ives. Don't worry, my mothers got this shit all the time. Dude, fuck off home to an incognito tab if you need to think about those actually having sex while you cry alone into a bag of Cheetos. Let's go inside, babe.
Ivy?
Ivy: Uh...yeah, go away, Case. That's what I've been saying.
Tracksuit dude/Case: Oh come on, don't you want to get to know me a little better or....
Ivy: Well...not really.
I swear to God Ivy Sparacino I have shipped this so hard from Day 1, Cola has been through enough in her life do NOT screw this up.
Case: Call me when you want a man, mmk?
Ivy: I might do. But not because of that...
Case: Haha, sure hot stuff.
Ew.
Cola:...What's taking you so long? Tell this asshole to leave you alone! I've literally had time to take a shower and you're still out here!
Case: Please, girlie, you don't know the first thing about satisfying this-
Cola: Do not imply-!
Ivy: Everybody just cool down!
Ivy: I mean, you two are both lovely, don't get into it...
Cola: Are you serious? You're putting me on a level with dis troglodyte?
Case: You are the loveliest of them all, little vine.
Cola: Ew. Dude. Back the fuck off.
Case: Yeah, alright. Bye bye now, call me soon poison!
Ivy: You're talking to Cola...
Cola: What the fuck just happened.
Ivy: Meh. Sometimes I like to mess with sad men like that. It's fun, you should try it.
Cola: OK. But you could have given me a heads up.
Ivy: Technically we aren't exclusive Cola...
Cola: So let's do it then!
HMM. This is what Cola wanted. So now they're officially girlfriends. Cute.
Rivella: Yes, let's fly and spin forever! I just hope you don't fall...
Gin-Fizz: I'm in danger...
Rivella's skilled enough for now, Nicola needs a break and Gin-Fizz is a bit behind on her toddler skills. That's how this happened. Not sure if it was a good idea though.
Gin-Fizz: Are you my mama?
Ivy: Why yes I am, sweetheart.
Gin-Fizz: Read me a story!
Ivy: I suppose I owe your other mother for what I just put her through...
Grenadine: Awwww snap spill the tea!
Grenadine: Grandma Nic, Granny Lux! I didn't know you guys came back out here. Are you gonna play too?
Lux: Hah, yeah kid we're gonna play a real fun game...
Grenadine: Can I join?
Nicola: Uh...it's a special...uh game for...you're not playing!
Grenadine: Haha. They sounded so freaked out. I wonder if their old brains realise I definitely know what's happening in the observatory, and I don't want to ever go in there again...
Lux: That was...
Nicola: It was crap, Lux. And it's not even either of our faults, it's just that the squeaking of your artificial hip is not an aphrodisiac.
Lux: *sigh* I just wanted to get some of that magic we used to have going...
Nicola: Hey now, we'll always have that. Now let's get inside, I need a lie-down.
Meanwhile Cola is lifting weights. I'm trying to bulk her out a bit because she's so flipping skinny. She always had a slender build, but then she drank a Slimify serum forever ago and she's barely gained any weight back.
Cola: Curse my bird legs!
Cola: Whose birthday is it? Could they hurry up?
It's yours, dummy.
Cola:...Can I slow it down?
No.
She had nothing to worry about at all, the woman didn't age a day. But she got some new outfits because she's officially 40 and shouldn't be walking around in half a polo shirt anymore.
Rivella: I think Granny Lux just didn't want to clean this sink when she told me that scrubbing it would make me feel better...because it ain't helping. Wily old bitch. She's still my favourite though.
Grenadine: Ma...you might wanna clean out that observatory. Because yikes.
Cola: Don't worry dear, I put tarp in there for a reason.
Grenadine: Throw out the tarp then, seriously.
Stacy: She may be well into her seventies, but Cola's mum can git it.
I regret inviting you already, Stacy.
Rivella: That was uh, extremely awkward to hear. Aren't you married?
Stacy: The less we talk about that the better. Do you need help with that door thing?
Rivella: What door thing?
Stacy: Cola was right, you are quite the stubborn one, dear. But never mind, get a hundred splinters in your ass for all I care.
Aw the cousins are getting along already.
Stacy: Oh, and ignore your dad not being in your life. He's an idiot, and your mother's an idiot for hooking up with him.
Rivella: Please, tell me something I don't know.
Cola: Love that you guys are still nuts for each other...but I gotta pee.
Nicola: Dammit Lux I am not gonna be a getaway driver for your crew! Just bribe your way into a new driving license or something!
Rivella: -And everyone at school is just like 'blah blah blah, stop talking about death you little freak-'
Stacy: Right...are you talking about death a lot?
Rivella: Well of course! It's so fascinating, and my first real memory!
Stacy: The cat? Yeah, sometimes your mum's blazed out of her mind on some serum and calls me to cry about it. There's drawbacks to being in her life.
Rivella: God, don't I know.
Stacy: I like you, kid. You're not the worst cousin to have.
Rivella: That's one of the nicest things I've ever heard!
Stacy:...You're joking. Right?
Rivella: Family's not the worst thing, maybe. But I still hate you, you loathsome brat.
Grenadine: Bite me bitch.
Such a loving and sisterly relationship.
Speaking of Rivella's idiot father....
Rivella: UGH I don't WANT another sibling.
Don't worry, the way things are going you won't ever meet it.
Shayne is a shit father already, but he's even worse than I thought. He lives next to them for fucks sake!
Grenadine: Mum can you tell Grandma Nic to knock it off with the lingerie? She's too old for this crap.
Cola: Dear, you think I haven't tried?
Lux: Your body is still beautiful to me, babe.
Nicola: Oh you...
Lux: We've had the best life together, and you're still as hot as the day we met!
Nicola, in the other room: Darling you're talking to the fridge, I've left now. Forgot to iron my work suit.
...Y'know I really think this pop-up could have come up earlier. It's clear Cola's made her choice.
Kayla: God, you're still trying to convince me of this alien crap, huh?
Cola: They literally gave me a child. My mother is blue.
Kayla: Well I'm sorry about your mother's sadness but that doesn't...
Cola: Oh forget you.
Terry: Awww snap, girl fight. Pull her hair, Kayla!
Cola: Ooh yay I made a sparkler...dammit, I"m gonna have to pay for another microscope won't I?
Cola: Hey, hey Kayla. Apparently Kaylyn and Terry are totally...
Kayla:...They're married! How do you not know that?
Cola: Come on, you know I have better things to do than listen to all the bullshit you guys say!
Cola: Hi Gin-Fizz! Mum's home! Let's have some play time, OK...?
Gin-Fizz: Who are you again?
Cola:...Come on, I'm trying!
Gin-Fizz: Clearly not hard enough.
Stacy: Hey kid. I'm Stacy, I'm your mum's good friend, your sister's cousin and - I think I'm stuck in your loveseat.
Grenadine: Whatever lady. Just don't wear your shoes in my pool.
...Yeah, no. She's active. She'll be sticking around for a while. It's Nicola I'm worried about, even if she is a couple days younger.
Lux:...You got some skin thing coming on, Stacy.
Stacy: What are you talking about? Y'know, Lux, you swim soooo well, like a gorgeous dolphin-
Lux: Might be time to go home to your family, huh?
Lux: Tickle time!
Nicola: Nooo, stop - seriously stop, my bladder is not what it was and this is my good dress!
...And on that note, this chapter is over, and nobody got aged up. Guess I got carried away with the pictures. Next time, Grena and Gin-Fizz should grow up.
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