Sutherlands Get Random - 2.5

Cola: So. How are we feeling about this, Mum?

Nicola: Don't talk to me until you work out how to care for the offsprings you produce.

Cola: You won't have to raise it! I've totally got this kid thing figured out by now, don't worry. 

Nicola: Oh congratulations, and it only took you until the third one!

The next morning...

Cola: Look, Grena. You're definitely gonna be my middle child. Oh, God - *retch*

Grena: Not on my head!

Rivella: You're having another baby?! Wh - why didn't you tell me?

Grenadine: Enjoy being overshadowed again, sister!

Cola: Enough chit-chat, we're busy. Grenadine, look at the flashcards, and Riv, clean that out!

Rivella: This is bullshit.

Cola: No, it's baby shit.

Rivella: I wish I could run away forever. For now, I'll run to the school bus and pretend.

Poor Rivella. Life's tough for a Sutherland.

Leonel: Ooh, morning, boss. Weekend in the sheets? Or just had a big breakfast?

Cola: I will write you up for harassment, Leonel. Don't you fucking try me.

Cola: This'll taint his 'liquid strawberry breakfast' quite nicely. That asshole can think about his words when he's stuck to the toilet all day.

Cola: OK IC. We're gonna put a double-strength portion of knockout gas into this here SimRay. I call it the Sleep Upgrade.

IC:...Yes, Miss Cola.

Cola: Always the sighing with me, IC. Why don't you do that to anyone else? They're sigh-worthy! I mean, they're so boring!

IC:...Right. Shall we put together a preliminary construction from your blueprint?

Leonel: No please, I'll do anything!

Demetrius: Damn what a woman.

Cola: One more word out of you and you're getting the Elsa treatment too.

Leonel: Ugh Frozen isn't even gooood!

Cola: Those are your last words before the ice sets in? Pathetic.

Demetrius: Oh come on, I was quiet! Like you said! Aren't we friends?

Cola: Who are you again?

Demetrius: Now that's cold.

Cola: Almost as cold as your new home for the next few hours!

Cola: Heh. Ain't I a stinker?

Yup.

IC: Oh. You again, Miss Cola.

Cola: I don't appreciate the sarcasm. I'm the only one with any imagination here, you should be delighted to see me!...I mean, I guess Ivy has ideas too, but she's not here. 'Out sick' even though she was fine on Saturday when she saw me. Maybe she's avoiding me?

IC: I am not a counsellor, Miss Cola.

Cola: Again?

We're so close. Just one last element. Then that's your aspiration done. Also I can move onto a different collection for your 'Miscellaneous Fun' parameter. That's why there's ~20 unopened capsules just chilling in your inventory.

Nicola got her last promotion. Finally!

Lux:...What's that list of names for, Riv? Come on, you have maths homework.

Rivella: It's what you said. It's a list.

Lux: Ugh. You're concerning me.

Cola: Why don't you use that chemistry set I bought you, Riv?

Rivella: Because I want to play video games. And pl - I mean, write lists.

Cola: Strange. What kind of kid doesn't want to mix a bunch of reactive chemicals together and see what happens?

Lux: I mean what I told you yesterday. Don't dabble in that side of crime.

Rivella: What are you gonna do? Once you're gone, there will be no-one with authority but Mum, and she'll be too busy with her aliens and inventions and the baby poo from her 100th baby!

Cola: Hey, this is the last one...but I do have poo in this bag, yes.

Lux: Stop talking about my death! You creepy kid.

The next morning...

Nicola: Ugh, this thing's fried. Lux must have let in a virus. I love the woman but if her mind's gonna go like this, she shouldn't be in that part of the web anymore.

Broken fridge: *crackle crackle*

Cola: Shit, watch out kid. Repeat after me. Say 'stay away from the sparks*.

Grena: Stay 'way from the sparks!

Cola: Good girl!

Rivella: Psh. I never knew that. Does Mum want me to be electrocuted? I'll electrocute her first!

Lux: Look, it's your birthday! Grandma's making a cake and all!

Grena: I don't wanna be big!

Lux: I think you'll enjoy it.

Nicola: I'm not. Where's your damn mother, Grena?

Cola, yelling through the bathroom wall: I'm literally taking a piss, I'll be there!

Lux: Hey, maybe we can celebrate something ourselves too, huh Nic?

Grena: Why are you winking, Granny?

Nicola: Lux, isn't your back bad? How do you - oh, right, and the kid. Let's discuss this later. Sorry Grena.

Grena: I am confused, can we just get this birthday over with?

Nicola: Yeah, how long is Cola's piss taking?

(Cola's actually watching TV in the other room)

Nicola: Nice of you to finally show up! *grumble grumble*

Cola: I see nothing, I hear nothing.

Grenadine is Active, with the Rambunctious Scamp aspiration. Too perfect, right?

The rules say I can pick traits and aspirations. Most of the time when these kids grow up I randomise the trait, but if I don't like it then I sometimes change it.

Anyway, Grena is almost a complete clone of her mother (SIGH, those Lux genetics are strong) except I think her nose is a bit different? And hey, she's purple which is cool.

Lux: Grena, now you're older you watch out for that sister of yours, OK?

Grenadine: Uhhhhh...

Nicola: Oh don't freak the kid out, Luxy. Rivella's fine. She's just a little angsty, feeling overlooked.

Lux: Fine. Forget I said anything. But remember that I know this family best of all. 

Cola: Hey Ives. Didn't see you here yesterday. Surprise!

Ivy:...Ah. I presume...

Cola: Mhm. There hasn't been anybody else - well, unless you count the aliens - since before my eldest was born and she's like nine. Ten? I dunno. Anyway, surprise!

Ivy: This is a lot, dear. Can you give me a bit of time to think?

Cola: Sure. I had the last two by myself. I can do it again.

Ivy: That's not...talk to you in a bit, Cola.

Cola: Dammit Ivy...have I really messed up again? And why is this a task? If I want to visit the aliens I'll just call one of their ships with my satellite, God.

Cola: Or I'll yeet my ass through this portal. There's so many options!

Take it up with the game, not me!

Leonel: Get away from my DESK, Demetrius!

Demetrius: It's not your desk. It's company property.

Ivy: HA.

Leonel: Seriously! I'm on reception duty and I can't take any of the calls now!

Ivy: I don't care, Leonel. I just don't like you. Plus I know what you said to Cola yesterday. Fucking disgusting, dude.

Leonel: It was a joke! And why are you siding with Penn, that unprofessional slacker-

Ivy: God are you done yet? Your breath is awful.

Cola: Ooh, sorry, is this your desk Leo? Gotta get off my poor pregnant feet.

Ivy: I don't want you to do it alone, Cola. But I'm not ready to just...pack up my entire life, y'know. But I'll be around.

Cola: Better than nothing, isn't it?

Ivy: I guess. I'll see how things go. You need to shower, dear.

Cola: You be pregnant then, it's hard.

Ivy: Are you sure you want this, Cola? You seemed displeased with me when we spoke at work.

Cola: Yeah, well, you're hot and my current romantic interest and baby mama and I'm horny, OK? The girls are doing homework in the house so we'll go out back.

Ivy:...I'm too old to screw around in bushes, Cola.

Cola: There's a perfectly good observatory back there. There's even cushions!

Later...

Rivella: Should I be yelling stranger danger?

Ivy: Your mum's asleep. She's tired out. But don't worry, I'm a friend - *mutters* Ugh, I'd make a crappy stepmother.

Rivella: Whatever. Just don't use MY account. More urgently, why am I suddenly using my chemistry set in here instead of my room?

Cos we had to put in a bed for Grenadine.

Rivella: *huff* Typical.

Lux: WAIT, NO, I'm not Cola, put me down!

Aliens: You're close enough.

They do have the same damn face...

Ivy: Hello, gorgeous. Good sleep?

Cola: Oh come off it, I look like a blimp.

Ivy: What can I say? You've always been gorgeous to me. But Cola, the thing is...I don't know if I'd make a good stepmother.

Cola: Whoa whoa, when did we get to that?

Ivy: I thought-

Cola: Well, I was being a bit too salty about that. I want to continue...this...but you're right. It's not the time to alter our lives completely! So...let's just keep things as they are, OK? You don't have to live here, just please be a second parent to this kid.

Ivy: Sounds good to me!

Stacy is pregnant. I totally want this kid to be friends with Cola's kid (the one she's incubating). But maybe I'm thinking too far ahead.

And then I got the notification that she was having marital issues with her husband. I hope you didn't go for the Band-Aid baby, Stacy. You should know it doesn't really work.

Sugar: I have defended the Mistressesszzzz...

Sugar! I still adore this cat, seriously.

Lux: It's just like old times, I'm trying to be productive while this cat runs screaming around my feet - OW! Dammit Sugar! You're ruining my cooking.

Sugar: Mistress was never a good cook.

Grenadine: Ready for school, right on time.

Rivella, booking it to the pavement: *puff pant* Oh come on, I've spent my whole life NOT preparing for this! I'm smart, not brawny!

Grenadine: She isn't even very smart. I've played with her mods, they're pretty mediocre.

Lux: Gotta get them granny gains on! Let these kids know I can beat their asses easy! I mean, I wouldn't actually. But they don't know that, hahaha!

Cola: Guess what! I just got an email saying that apparently I didn't do my 'preliminary invention'. Some rinky-dink science fair thing...but if I don't do it I might get demoted, so here I am.

IC:...Interesting story, Miss Cola.

She has to invent the Momentum Conserver today. That is a low-level invention. I guess she didn't do it yet cos she started at Level 4? Idk.

Rory: You sent a signal, Cola?

Cola:...Oh hey, alien dude - wait, are you Grenadine's uncle or something?

Rory: Well that's rude. I'm not even the same shade of purple as that hybrid the lab put into you!

Cola: I'm sorry! I suppose there's always more to learn about aliens. Apologies, Mr...

Rory: Rory Haas. And don't worry, all is forgiven. Need any help around here?

So Rory helped her with the rocket. Which was nice.

Cola: I hope it turns into a cactus.

Leonel: Come on SimRay...please fix the broken wheel, please fix it. 

Leonel: Hey this is actually a bit comfier.

Cola: Then we're going again!

Ivy: You know you're a terrible liar, right? I was never going to believe that! Why would this be Cola's ex? I've seen the kid the aliens gave her, she's not even the same shade of purple.

Rory: Yeah. I know Cola but not like that! I like thicc girls, for one thing.

Kaylyn: Yeah, she is shaped like a plank of wood. Worth a shot though.

Ivy: Don't mess with Cola and I. Or I'll mess with you. Got it?

Kaylyn: Fine.

Rory: Lol beef.

Rivella hit an A. She just needs half a mental skill and then she'll have finished her aspiration too.

Ivy: That alien friend of yours is a lot of fun.

Cola: More of an acquaintance. Still, I prefer him to most of the fools who work here.

Ivy: Oh, I feel the same. I have half a mind to ask you to replace them all with willing alien acquaintances.

Cola: Yeah, well I'm not quite the boss around here. 

Cola: What do you want, kid? And why'd you dye your hair to look like my grandpa? Well. I guess it would look like that, if I had one.

Zackary: Looking for that charity icon lady. With that cool cause.

Cola: Oh. Didn't know she was still doing that. OK then, come on in.

Rivella: Uh, yeah, Grandma's actually not still doing that. She's semi-retired; still running the cause and all, but she doesn't need more funds. So you can scram.

Zackary: Make me, kid.

Rivella: I will. I thought you might be shitty. So I hatched a plot on my way out here.

Rivella: So, when I win, you leave. Got it?

Zackary: I'll take that action, but I'm not gonna lose to some snotty kid. So when I win, I'm sticking around for a plate of that spaghetti I smell cooking.

Rivella: Sure, I'll take that action. I'm not losing to you. Let's play.

Zackary: HOW?!

Rivella: Skills and that. My Granny taught me well. Her handle is 'luxyourlifeup'.

Zackary: Ah, I know that name. Makes more sense now. But I'll beat you one day!

Rivella: Nah. I don't have time for you. Get out of my house.

Cola is in labour for the final time, and she looks...thrilled?

Cola: *yawn* Been there, done that, having kids is old hat.

Meanwhile, Lux is wigging out in the front room.

Lux: No! Swim away, lines of code! You do not belong on bookshelves. Leave my head!

Grenadine: Haha, Granny is nuts and I have to pee! Best night ever!

Why are you smiling like that kid.

Cola you should support her head. All your talk of finally having babies figured out and you don't know that.

Cola: She'll be fine. I just wanna do 'Circle of Life'. Forgot with the other two.

Sigh.

Anyway, this is Gin-Fizz, the third daughter and last child of Gen 3. So many girls in this Randomcy.

Nicola: I knew things wouldn't change. At least you're cute, Gin-Fizz.

OK but it's not Cola's fault this time, the aliens went right for her.

Shayne married this Caliente offshoot.

Cola: And yet he can't even come round to deal with his own kid.

You don't invite him.

Cola: He doesn't try, so I'm not trying. I have better things to do.



Nicola: So. Oldest one. How are you and your jealousy complex feeling about the latest baby?

Rivella: Shhh. I'm thinking. I need a plan for my teenage years.

Nicola: Well that's OK dear, it's ages away.

Rivella: No.

It's almost Rivella's birthday.



Grenadine is really very cute. She always looks like she's plotting something.

Grenadine: I'm trying to figure out how I can run away from today's maths test!

Nicola: That underwear set isn't really doing it for you anymore.

Lux: Ah, you're such a bitch. I love you.

Classic Nix. I'm just gonna say for the millionth time that I absolutely adore them. One of my favourite couples I've ever played in this game. Despite one being noncommittal and the other being insane, Nicola is rarely tense and Lux rarely randomly yells at her.



Cola is at work, and greeting her coworkers the way she knows best.

Leonel: Why me?

Cola: Your face annoys me. Especially today.



Cola: Right. Kid's out. Let's hang out tonight. For now, can I grab a bit of your DNA?

Ivy: Oh...wow, I actually have a child? This is crazy, I-

Cola: Ives. DNA. I'm aiming for a promotion today, can't waste time.

Ivy: Hm. Ain't you a romantic?



Grenadine hit a B. Faster than her sister did.

Cola: Must be all that extra alien DNA. Isn't she a little miracle?

Rivella:...Thanks.



Terry: I wish you wouldn't mess with aliens.

Cola: I wish you'd take early retirement and quit bothering me, Terry.

Terry: Seriously! What happened to this job just being a place to loaf about and earn a mediocre salary for your family?

Cola: That all changed the day I showed up here, dear.



She did it. Level 9, baby!



Ivy then asked her out for a date. I accepted.

And for SOME REASON

Cola:...Yeah, I think she was napping in the back of the car. I didn't notice. Sorry Ives.

Lux: Where am I right now?

Of COURSE she can't be sent home, that would be too easy now wouldn't it!



Lux was sent out of the way to one of the downstairs bars to do whatever while Cola and Ivy had their date.

Ivy: Oh, I am glad you chose the Oasis Springs lab, Cola...

Cola: That's so sweet. Can you move back a bit, your sunglass frame is digging into my ear. Hurts.



They had a pretty normal date. Played foosball and kissed each other, mostly.



Knight: Y'all ain't slick. That's a half-wall and you're not even behind it. Some of us wanna drown our sorrows in peace, y'know!



Lux: Cola? Did you do something with the house?

Ivy: I think it may be time for you to go, dear.

Cola: Yeah. Come over on the weekend.  Gin-Fizz will have grown up by then.

Ivy: You seriously named my child that.

Cola: My child too. And it's a family thing, don't ask.



It didn't show up properly but Rivella completed her aspiration.



And Grenadine quickly finished her homework at 1am. These ladies parent.

Nicola: Ha-ha! How are you this bad at spelling, Grena?

Grenadine:...Thanks Granny.



Nicola: What was I doing again?

Sigh. Old age isn't doing good things to Nix, it seems.



Nix: Hey, look, we're breakfasting in sync!

Cola: Oh good God.



Cola: Come on IC, what are you bitching about? Cloning peeps is badass!

IC:...Fine. But as we do this work, you will be shown clips from multiple TV shows and movies, about this topic. Ones that you apparently have not seen.

Cola: Meh. Not gonna change my mind.



Cola: Of course it's just lunch! Demetrius says you like orange flavour. So bottoms up!

Going soft there, Cola?

Cola: Never.



Cola: Say goodbye to your labcoats, bitches! See, not soft.

Kayla: Well. That was at least a really good synthetic lunch. And I look good, don't I Ter-

Terry: LALALA can't hear you, married!

Cola: Like she'd want your ass.

Terry: What do you have against me?



Rivella: Hands up! Give me that pre-order deluxe edition, or it's your WIFE'S HEAD!

Silly Riv. Gamers don't have wives. And what kind of scrub gets a physical copy nowadays?

(Issa joke)



NO RED HAIR!

...Ahem, I mean, here's toddler Gin-Fizz, with BLACK hair courtesy of Ivy, and the Angelic trait like her sister Grenadine. I swear I randomised it!



Rivella: Yes. Keep holding that pose. Legs up!

Gin-Fizz: Pls give me my spaghetti back!

Rivella: Well why didn't you try not being born?]



Meanwhile Lux is working out. She insists on keeping up the twice-daily workouts. Which sometimes leads to exhaustion. You better not die on me.

Lux: Hey, Lux chooses when Lux goes out. And I know it won't be tonight.



Rivella: Hahaha! Best birthday ever! HA! *eye twitch*



Rivella isn't a clone at all. So I misjudged her when she first grew up. Sorry girl. She has smaller eyes with a different colour, a different nose and I think slightly bigger lips? But with Cola's lip shape.

Anyway, she has the Goofball trait like her mum and the Public Enemy aspiration.

Next time Grenadine and Gin-Fizz might age up, let's see how far we get.