Sutherlands Get Random - 2.2

Cola and Nicola are having a very sad breakfast.

Cola: Oh God I feel so sick - Ma, I'm sorry you're sad I got pregn-

Nicola: What? No I don't care about that. You do you, congratulations. A bunch of my donors just died!

Cola:...Right.

Cola: So, Mum, you know that guy you definitely didn't use me as jail-bait on-

Lux: I already told you I didn't. I just thought you'd like him. And I'm guessing you liked him?

Cola: I mean...

Lux: My daughter's having a baby? Shit I'm old. Anyway, what the fuck Cola? Where are we going to put a baby?

Cola: We'll figure it out?

Lux: I guess you're right. Sutherlands always do.

Cola: This sucks! I'm never doing this again.

Unless you get triplets, which you didn't (spoiler), yes you will.

3 kids this generation.

Took Cola to Oasis Springs for collectibles.

Cola: Heyyyy there's actual interesting things to collect here.

Almost makes you think about moving, doesn't it?

Cola: Now it does.

Yeah, so I'm gonna try and get that done. I put down a really nice house shell and hopefully we can be there in a week or so.

Cola: Couldn't this wait until after I'm pregnant?

Nah. This is your last free day for a while. A job and a baby is hard work, hon.

Cola: Hey...I reeeeallly need to pee. And I'm all the way at the back of the park. Let's hope for the best.

Indeed. It's gonna take her like 30 years to get to the toilets.

I invited Shayne to the park, and he is...in the toilets. With two teenagers.

All the jailbait jokes now seem much more icky now.

Or not.

Shayne: The woman I slept with said she had urgent news and we needed to meet. This can't be good.

Sebastian: Hahaha, duuuude you are so screwed.

Shayne:...Yayyyy. I knew it.

Cola: Don't pretend to be happy for me, little man. I know you're dying inside. Hell, I'm dying inside thinking about nappies and all that crap.

Shayne: You want the truth?

Cola: Lay it on me.

Shayne: SERIOUSLY? What the FUCK? How I can be a father? I live in my parent's basement and my only income is from random hacking-

Cola: I mean my mum does OK.

Shayne: Your mother is a goddess, and you do look like - I mean, I...uh...

Cola: What now?

Shayne: Nothing!

Cola: I don't want to hear more but I think I need to...who the fuck did I sleep with?

Cola:...Oh my God. What have I done?

Shayne: I didn't mean it - I mean, of course I admire Lux, she's amazing - beautiful, and brilliant, but-

Cola: OK dude. You said what you said, and now you're digging yourself an even deeper hole.

Shayne: But-

Cola: Listen. You can be around for this kid if you want. Me and my happily-together mothers got this, with or without you. So let's be civil and never touch each other again

Shayne:...OK.

Cola: I knew you'd see it my way!

So that ends that. 

Nicola: So we're gonna see Mr Mims around here? Or not? I really can't tell with you.

Cola: Absolutely not. I'm currently trying to figure out how funny you'll find the reason.

Nicola: I'm not in the mood for jokes, Cola. Half my donors died.

Yeah, so Nix don't need to do much now they're practically done with careers and skills. So they've been laying sadly around at home all day.

Cola: Just like the Watcher.

Oi.

Lux: I know it sucks, Nic, but you're gonna pick yourself back up again. Get back on top!

Nicola: I guess you're right. And y'know what else I can get on top of?

Lux: Is that a wink? It's terrible. And you've been wearing that underwear for two days. Raincheck on that one, please.

I suppose one perk of Lux and Nicola being left at home to do whatever is that Sugar gets a lot of love in her last days. 

Lux: Who's my favourite lifeform in this household? You are! You are!

What about -

Lux: I know what I said.

Despite being old, Sugar does this nearly every time someone uses the bathroom.

Sugar: *hissssss* Watch yourself, toilet!

Cola: Damn, I am gonna miss this. What if this is the last time it happens and I didn't even know?

There's second trimester Cola. It's weird, she's pretty skinny but she got huge with this pregnancy.

I was thinking 'I hope we don't have collection day when Cola is pregnant, she'll be so slow'.

So thanks a lot, game.

Luckily there were two big clusters next to the lab.

Cola: Really? Again?

Hey, this time this wasn't my idea!

Cola: Hi, yes I'm collections specialist at this-here lab, no that's just the sink running, I'm near a workstation-

Really Cola?

IC: I am so pleased that you are putting a cleaning function into your SimRay, Miss Cola. A useful technology-

Cola: Oh. Ohhhh. No that's not what that is. 'Clean' means making people do cleaning for me. Like my house and stuff. Kind of just jacking some of that vampire-mind-control shit plus whatever makes them change clothes.

IC:...I had hope.

Cola: Well you shouldn't have.

Cola: Maybe you should be my new housemate. Hehehe!

Kaylyn: Oh goddammit not ag - yes, Miss Cola. I will clean the whole lab.

Ivy: So. Kaylyn cleaned her workstation. And then all of our workstations. What have you done?

Cola: Experimentation. She'll be fine. Anyway, do you have any Orange Topaz, I-

Ivy: So are we not talking about that?

Cola: Yeah...no. That's a messy and embarrassing story.

Ivy: Of course, my dear. Let me get you that crystal now.

Nicola was promoted to Level 9. Just one more to go and I can stop grinding for donations.

Cola: Change into a stupid outfit!

Kaylyn: Fuck you Cola! Why is it always me?

Cola: Because you get so annoyed, it's so fun!

Cola: Plus I'm not discriminating. Not today. If you're near me, you get to be one of my lovely test subjects!

Terry: First my wife, and now me?

(Yeah, he married Kaylyn soon after they were generated)

Cola: Then you guys can cry about together at home.

Cola: Hey, you're pregnant too?

Terry: Fuck off.

At home, Nicola is schmoozing Elise for a full grand.

Nicola: A cool thousand for your closest friend?

Elise: Oh, that means so much, I've been so lonely since my husband died! Thank you for inspiriting an old lady's life, Nicola. Of course you can have my retirement fund! Take a tip on top of that as well.

Nicola: I'm gonna miss you so much Elise.

Lux doesn't have any skilling to do anymore. So, aside from her work shifts, she literally just works out, plays games, and of course, pampers Sugar.

Lux: There, that feels better, doesn't it old girl?

Sugar: *sniffffff*

The next morning, Cola is once again working.

Cola: OK, listen up bitch. My idea for today is a cloning machine. I want a loooot of lil Colas running around.

IC: Really, you've never seen movies?

Cola: Well. This is going terribly.

Cola: I'm making something called Slimify Serum. Hopefully it should work.

Hopefully.

Cola: Loooool I'm gonna give it to Kaylyn. Even though she actually has a pretty good body.

Cola: Contacting aliens, what's the worst that can happen?

Vivian: Have you seriously never seen movies? IC can be a bit of a pain, so I didn't believe the thing, but damn girl!

Cola: I've got plenty of alien in me. They won't harm us.

Vivian: Oh is THAT how you got that baby?

Cola: I wish.

Cola: Lol. Being a scientist is so much fun. Enjoy waiting in the bathroom line while I nab the best metal samples, losers.

She is so like her mothers.

I just really liked this picture.

Cola: How about no? I don't really wanna see you, I've had a tiring day and I'm about to give birth.

Shayne: You're about to - ew no. I retract my invitation.

Lux and Nicola both rolled this whim for each other. Sorry guys, but no. I also did uninstall MC Woohoo due to a glitch so I don't even know where you're getting that idea.

Birthing time.

Cola: Fuck you, fuck this!

It's almost over dear.

Cola: *groan* Not fast enough!

Cola: Little Rivella. You look like your father already.

That's a bit presumptuous, let's wait a couple days.

Also, I'm confused, because when I checked a couple days ago, MCCC said it was a boy. Then again, this family is already full of women, one more makes sense.

Cola did eat strawberries at work during her second trimester. I think that did it. But I was expecting a boy.

Anyway, this is Rivella Sutherland. Rivella is actually a drink, it's a Swiss lemonade-y soft drink I had on holiday as a kid ages ago. So the drink theme remains.



The baby's namesake.



Cola: Ancestors whyyyyyy. I just gave birth.

The satellite you were fucking around with?

Cola: Ugh. Maybe I should have seen more movies. But hey, I didn't know there was going to be consequences for my decisions. That's why I have a baby!

Lux, whose vision was obscured: Uh....is it just me or did y'all hear something?...Night shift, huh. Fucks with my head.



Cola: Well...that was actually pretty cool. I should probably check in on that kickass baby I just produced.

Nicola: Where the fuck is your idiot mother, Riv?



Lux: Dammit, cat. I think all that tail-chasing's done you in.

Sugar: I am 80 in human years. I am a retired warrior. Please get me treatment.

Lux:...*sigh* Yeah, of course. Lemme just get a shower in.



Holy shit Lux's muscles.

Lux: Yeah, how else do you keep power within a criminal enterprise? I know we're hackers, but I'd lose a lot of my authority if I couldn't potentially snap the underlings like crackers. I mean I wouldn't, but they always know I could.

OK you. Now...

Lux: Yeah, I know. The cat sick. I'll deal.

Poor Sugar got ill. Unfortunately it's 6.30 in the goddamn morning so the vet will have to wait.



Nicola: Ugh, seriously? Right on my new leather boots!

You've had those since you moved in with Lux.

Green hair vet: Hehehe, good kitty.

Owner person: Well then you take him home, I hate the thing.

Nicola: That's not OK!



Sugar: I'mma tear you to shreds!

Nicola: Now now, you can do that if he doesn't sign up for the donor register, Sugar dear.

Sugar's all better now. We spent $750 but it was worth it.



Nicola: Ah, Jayden, dear. Do you have a cool grand to spare?

Jayden: Absolutely not. I'll give you $250, but-

Nicola: I get it. But seriously, I value you as a friend and I would so love it if-

Jayden: Shut up or you get nothing.

Nicola:...Fine.



Nicola: Rebeca, my darling-

Rebeca: Oh, I know, Nic, but I have been saving this $250 to visit my family-

Lux: Uuugh I kind of wanna feel bad.

Nicola: But the cause is so important - almost as important as our friendship.

Rebeca:...Oh, screw the holiday. We all need to be more like you, Nic, and help the less fortunate!

Nicola: Thank youuuu!



Cola is being similarly bad professionally.

Cola: Sooo...can you clean up that mess, Viv?

Vivian: Seriously Cola, that was your mess, so you can clean the damn workstation!

Cola: Are you sure about that?

Vivian: Pretty damn sure!

*busts out the SimRay*



Cola: Seriously! They flew their spaceship over my house and brought me up there! I saw so much cool shit!

Leonel: Are you sure you're not just talking about a weird dream you had last night?

Cola: Aliens are real, Leo! Open your mind!

Leonel: How does this chick even work here.



Demetrius: Uh...I'm not sure if I want this, I have heard things-

Cola: Come on. You're fine in my book because you've got pretty cool hair. It's just a synthetic lunch, that basic shit, I bet they even have you making it, you noob.

Demetrius:...Oh right. Yeah, fine, give it here.

Cola: Glad to be of help.

Kaylyn: Yeah right! Don't trust her! Cola, you bitch, why do I need to piss so badly?

Cola: THAT one isn't on me. I did humiliate you by showing everyone what you wear every day, but the piss thing? That's your fault for spending this entire day so far glued to your chair and Facebook.



Cola: This workstation needs a clean...I'll bust the SimRay out once I'm done with this analysis.



Cola's very happy with herself and her promotion.

Cola: Level 6 already. I can't wait to lead this lab PROPERLY.



Lux: I'm so happy I raised a daughter I could probably take over the world with.

Cola: I mean...that's not really on the cards for me.

Lux: Meh. I mean, neither. But, like, we could.

Cola: Yeah, for sure. Well, thanks Mum.

Lux: Just make sure you raise that baby the same. Make sure she could take over the world with you, if it ever came to that.

Cola:...You give really weird advice, Mum.



Nicola: Yeah, I'll just feed you, considering that your mother is playing with her observatory again. I didn't agree to raise a second child.

You have been whimming to have another baby for days now.

Rivella: Whatever, just give me the sustenance. I'm already bored of this.



Rivella: I HATE YOU.

Cola: You won't be singing that song when I'm...well, have you heard of death?

Cola no.



Cola: Ma where are you going, the kitchen sink's that way-

Nicola: I'm off to the bathroom. Bad juju in that direction.

Cola: What the f-

Lux: Morning, kid. I may have messed up a bit last night, so...I might have to borrow some money to hire security guards.

Cola: Oh God, what did you do?

Lux: Accidentally put a hit on the mayor? I'm gonna fix this though, don't worry!

Cola: Maybe my parents are why I'm like this?...Nah, can't be. They're odd, I'm actually cool.



Elise: So I just said 'look, that's enough, hoe'-

Nicola: Wow, these stories about your daughter-in-law are so much fun.

Elise: Really? I got chased out of the bingo hall for telling 'em. So thank you so much.

Nicola: You're gonna make me work for it today, huh?



Elise: And YOU! Why are you not working for your wonderful mother on her WONDERFUL cause? What is your problem with doing good?

Cola: Wow...



Ivy: Oh my GOD this lab is full of fucking junk!

Hi Ivy. Nice to see you again.



Cola: Yeah, so I'm adding a sitting function to the SimRay today, don't fuck it up for me IC.

IC: Of course not, Miss Cola, but a SimRay doesn't really need to sit down. This seems a waste of your talents.

Cola: God for an artificial intelligence you're stupid. I'm gonna make it able to make other people sit! Do you not see the pattern here?

IC:...What is the point of that?

Cola: I 'unno. I'm bored?



Kaylyn: Is this all you've got? You're not even aiming the thing at me!

Cola: It'll still work. Can you do some cleaning around here?

Kaylyn: I'm not making the messes, sweetie.



Demetrius: Of course you can have some of my samples, Miss Cola. I only took this job because this place has good WiFi.

Cola: You. I like you.

Demetrius: Well. Thank you. In exchange you mind if I use your computer for some of my social media scrolling?

Cola: Knock yourself out. I'm gonna be in charge here soon, and while I'm still getting there, my parents will keep me in this job.

Demetrius: Now how is that possi-

Cola: Don't ask.



Ivy: Can people seriously stop washing their beakers in the bathroom sink? Or maybe it's their GODDAMN WORK-BOOTS? How did it get like this? ...I blame Leonel.



Leonel: Fuck off, Cola.

Cola: You piss off Ivy, you piss off me. Don't wash boots and beakers in the bathroom sink, Leo.

Leonel: That wasn't me! I've been on reception duty all week! What the fuck is wrong with you two? Why would she say that?



Ivy:...Meh. I just don't like that guy.

That checks out.



Ivy: So. I see you had your baby.

Cola: Yeah. Rivella is...interesting. But then, all Sutherlands are.

Ivy: I can believe that, with you as an example...

Cola: Anyway, aliens?

Ivy: Aliens! We need to find those bastards.

Cola:...You could just come round my house. If my Ma counts.

Ivy: I would love to visit your home.



Cola, muttering to herself: 'These chemicals are dangerous to travel with, let alone store and use in your home, blah blah blah'...will Ivy think it's weird I still live with my mothers...I mean, obviously we should keep it professional...maybe I should wear gloves when I'm doing this...



Cola: Soooo...what have you been up to?

Stacy: Eh...avoiding my mum because she wants me to do vampiric training, avoiding my stepdad because he's a douchebag - seriously, he still pops his collars - and trying to get a night job. Y'know. Vampire and all. You?

Cola: I feel that. Uh...well I'm more than halfway to taking over the entire Oasis Springs lab, and I have a baby and everything now, so-

Stacy:...Well. At least I have eternity.

Cola: Come on, let me show her off. She's so tired of life already, it's kind of funny.



Cola: What if I could turn someone into a ghost without killing them myself? Maybe Mum and her team could use it and not have to register it as a weapon.

Just go take care of your screaming child woman, gosh.

Seriously, I have no idea what 'ghost goo serum' is. But also, yay breakthrough 12!



Sugar: *gasp* A Fourth Mistress? This is too much...could it be that the little First Mistress has bore offspring of her own?

Cola:...She grows up like right now, cat. Where have you been? You must be getting senile.

Sugar: Wait...where am I?

Cola: Dammit, don't make me cry. That's the baby's job.

Rivella: Crying is effort.

Cola: And yet you do it right when I'm sleeping.



Oh, hello Cola clone. Great, thanks Shayne. You were useless, Cola might as well have created this child by herself.

Cola: I mean you know I'm gonna raise her by myself. I'll teach her everything.

Rivella: Don't say that. I'll be doomed for life!

Cola: Very funny, kid. Now keep walking unless you want to fall on your face.

Rivella: *considers it just to spite her*

She grew up Fussy. I considered changing what I randomised. It would be so easy, and there's no rule against it. Alas...I went through with it.

Next time, we go through some Fussy toddler days. Fuuuun,