Welcome back to Moving On Up With Steve!
Steve: Your artwork is beautiful, my love.
Rita: You flatter me, Steve...
Steve: Of course I do! I love you and I wanna make you feel good.
Rita: Oh, there are many ways in which you could make me feel...ahem.
Gillian: Yeah, I am right here. Oh well, I got fruit salad. You win some, you lose some.
Rita: Oh my - what the shit?
Gracelyn: I am a silly one!
Rita: Silly doesn't mean being a dickhead.
Gracelyn: Hehehehehe.
I can really imagine Rita as a sweary mum, lol.
They got home at the same time, because they work the same job.
Rita: Heh...
Steve: How are you so calm? Today was so stressful!
Rita: Oh, yeah, it was hellish. But I know exactly how to calm you down...remember what we talked about this morning?
Gracelyn: Do you know what Mommy's doing?
Gillian: I don't think we want to.
Smart girl.
Life is hard for this little family.
Rita: Oh fucking hell why is the shower like this?
Steve: Life is good :). It's hard, but also good.
Steve: OK dude, she's asleep. She really doesn't want to talk to you-
D-red-s aka Francis: Ay, well I don't just wanna talk with her-
Steve: Honestly, I am working on my temper since becoming a stepdad and you're trying to make me lose it, I feel. That's not what Rita wants. Respect her, and the relationship we have.
D-red-s: As if-
Steve: Also I'm painting in my underwear and it's uncomfortable for me that you're still here, TBH.
Rita: Oh HELL NO.
These fucking neighbours, seriously.
Rita: Took the words out of my mouth, Watcher!
Penny: Oh what the hell do you want you little whore? I'm having a rough night!
Rita: Me too! My girls and I were fucking sleeping! Keep it down bitch, you live in a damn apartment block!
D-red-s: Damn girl, now that's a view.
Rita: Do not even start with me, guy. I only let you in because of sleep deprivation. Y'all both need to FUCK OFF.
Rita: God, how do kids make such a smell?
Steve: It's OK babe. We're gonna take their little butts to daycare and then it's off to work, hopefully we can move out of here-
Rita: Move out?
Steve: Well...yeah. Didn't the Watcher tell you, it's a Moving On Up Challenge! One day we'll be on top of San Myshuno.
Rita: I suppose that's alright. If I stay here any longer I might end up with a murder charge regarding Penny Pizzazz. Just make sure there's enough space for the kids, wherever you choose to go.
Steve: It's a challenge, I don't get to choose shit. They'll have their beds at least.
Rita:...
They both got home tense, but at least Rita got promoted. And Steve should get his promotion this week.
Rita: I shelved 300 books in an hour, Steve. 300.
Steve: Did your colleague misuse a paint mixer and ruin your favourite apron? Also, can you pack up the kids, we're moving.
Rita: Sure, I'll put them in cardboard boxes or some shit. *mutters* Dumbass.
Chill out you guys, you love each other. You're just stressed.
Rita: Oh ya don't say!
Before that, I quickly added some stuff in to meet the parameters for what I consider a finished room (decorations, rugs, storage areas etc.). We afforded it pretty easily, so the Sutherland-Cardwells are...moving on up.
Here's Apartment 2, with Tense Steve in the corner. As you can see, the rooms are much bigger than the old apartment, so it will need more furnishings before I will consider it finished. The end of Rita and Steve's room is gonna count as a study, so it'll need a computer and bookshelves and stuff.
Anyway, let's get going. Firstly, the kids need to get bathed. There was only a shower at the old place.
Poor girls.
Rita: Oh hell, stop crying. It's gonna get a lot better, I promise. Now, fight to near death to decide who gets a bath first!
Rita!
Rita: Oh, I'm joking! Gracelyn, come here. You were born first. Sorry Gill, life isn't fair.
Gillian: This is bullshit.
Steve: *sigh* What do you need?
Gillian: Bath? Pwease?
Steve:...Awww, alright.
Steve is working out his remaining anger on this pot of macaroni. He's on domestic duties tonight because he doesn't work tomorrow.
Steve: Deep breaths, you love them, don't yell...
Good boi Steve.
Here are the cute outfits I picked for the girls. Gillian is in the blue and Gracelyn is in the red.
Rita: Soooo...I took a vacation day. I think we need a date.
Steve: I have a bit of painting to do for work...
Rita: Oh same. Gallery?
Steve: Gallery.
Rita: Love you so much, Stevie!
Steve: So do I, Rita, so I'd like to ask you...
Steve: Marry me, Rita?
Rita: UHHHH oh my God oh my God-
Steve: It's no pressure! Just please...marry me! I want you and the girls to be my true family!
Steve: She said yes, folks!
Yeeeeee.
Rita: Who are you talking to? Shut up and kiss me!
Rita: Hell yes I'm getting MARRIED!
Steve: You really are a romantic aren't you?
Rita: Carry me over the threshold!
Steve: Into the gallery, sweetie? Really?
Steve: They have free sandwiches here! At least, I found one in someone's locker.
Rita: Aw you're so resourceful.
This old lady is just a third wheel to the Steve and Rita show.
Lady: I was making a chair, but now I'm making a mallet to beat these whippersnappers with!
Steve: Hey look, I made her son!
Bust: This abomination is no progeny of mine.
Steve: Enjoy growing up to be the protagonist of a Victorian novel, clayboy.
Clayboy: Misery furthers character development.
Gracelyn and Gillian are having a chat.
Gracelyn: So how do we feel about having a stepdad?
Gillian: I mean it's not like we have a real dad.
Rita: Just consider Steve your real dad. He's a better man than your other one. Also Gillian, don't yeet cars across the room when you're tired of them, that doesn't help anyone. Now go to bed, you two.
Gracelyn: We have lots of questions.
Rita: And I wanna eat my mac'n'cheese in peace, go to bed.
Gillian: But Mommmm-
Rita: Ask your father.
Gracelyn: Which one?
Rita: I said no more questions!
Meanwhile, Father Steve is...
Steve: Quack quack ducky, SWIM SWIM SWIM! Pull the water carriage!
Forgot he was childish.
Rita: So. It's 10pm. My fiance is trying to wrangle the children into bed. And our neighbours are having extremely loud sex.
Apartment living, huh.
Rita: I know what I have to do.
Rita: Keep it the fuck down, you assholes!
Neighbour: Ohhh, shaming a fellow lady, real nice-
Rita: We've got young kids and work in the morning. And we already got our sex in at 7pm - y'know, a respectful time! Jesus Christ!
Meanwhile, Steve is...not putting the kids to bed like Rita thought.
Steve: Wheee, you're a spaceship, Gracie, the coolest around!
Gracelyn: Wheeeee!
Steve: And you are a super cool angel!
Gillian: Can I strike down my other dad?
Steve:...Sure!
How precious. He did this all autonomously too.
They did eventually get to sleep. But the trials of apartment life keep happening!
Rita: There's mice. This sounds like a Steve problem.
It sounds like an after-work problem, y'all need to go in 10 minutes.
Steve: Hrrrgh, work was so hard.
But you got a promotion.
Rita: I'm seeing staaaaaars.
Steve: *sigh* OK, take a nap, babe. I'll bathe the kids.
Family life, huh Steve?
Rita: Darsh, get up here quickly and be prepared.
Darsh: Oh, you're in the mouse house. Yeah, alright, I'm coming up.
Rita: You KNEW?
Darsh: Business is business, sweetie, take it up with your boyfriend. He signed the lease.
Rita: Why I-
Darsh: Do you want me to fix this shit or not, lady?
Rita:...Yes!
Rita: Again? I'm gonna kill that bitch I swear.
Steve went in her place because Rita is just too close to this situation, I suppose.
Steve: Hey! Not cool, man!
Nearly a whole day passed because I went to make my dinner, but accidentally left the game playing. But I came back in time to make sure Rita got a promotion.
Rita: OK, so the girls are growing up soon and I want to have a little bit of a celebration.
Steve: I'm all ears, sweetie.
Rita: How would you like a baby of your own, my love?
Steve:...Very much.
Gracelyn, from outside: Could you guys not proposition each other in our room?
Steve: *singing in the shower*
Rita: Well, it didn't happen yet, babe. But don't worry, I'm plenty young, and plenty into you. Try later?
Steve: *sings* I think we're alone now...
Rita: Oh, I'll talk to you later!
Steve: I'm gonna put one in you this time baby I swear-
Rita: OH GOD YES - Steve there's a paintbrush in your underwear, how did that get there?
And here we go! Rita's pregnant.
Next time their kid is gonna be born, and the girls are gonna grow up into children.
haha, this is hilarious!
ReplyDeleteThank you!
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