Mason do you really want to garden like this? We're almost done with this shebang and we don't need you to get an indecency charge.
Zenobia: God, I'm tired of all this shit *grumble grumble* Fuck you, and you, and also YOU-
Just go take a Xanax, lady, God.
Who would have guessed Zenobia would be such a grumpy old woman? Oh, everyone? Yeah, that checks out.
But I did let her retire, she is almost dead after all.
Mason: Come inside, I made fish tacos!
Zenobia: Excuse me child? I am your mother and you will not tell me what to do! Just for that I'm standing out here ALL NIGHT.
Please don't.
Mason: I knew you'd come in for my tacos. The plants told me so.
Zenobia: Shh, I got hungry.
Mason: The plants told me-
Zenobia: Enough about the plants! Maybe get me some actual grandkids?
Mason: Maaaaaa, Missy is literally pregnant what do you want from me.
Mason: Definitely not if you look that like that Grandma, I'm good.
Zenobia: Awww, you're roasting my terrible mother? Oh Mason, you really are my favourite child.
Danika: How am I stuck on these sums, I've done this assignment 200 times!
Missy: I'm gonna stand out here all n-
Mason: *yelling from where he is cleaning a DISGUSTING sink* As if, Missy, just get your ass back in the house, I can smell you from over here!
Missy: Just for that, I'm going to definitely st-
NO YOU WON'T
Later, I bought a shit-ton of random art to kickstart Missy's aspiration. Apparently this home isn't even worth 200k, surprisingly. Considering all the random expensive gadgets I've shoved in there, I'm surprised.
Still, +10.
Bentley: Oh Zen, it's finally you!
Zen: Why did you only come back when I was pissing like a racehorse...
Bentley: Yeah, it's reallyyyyyyy loud.
Zen: Shut it, Bents. I love you but I have my limits.
Zen: *sips tea* This tea is piping hot. Rumour is that Missy will never have a place in this house.
...She's the mother of Gen 10 and is pregnant with your second grandchild. Also you're going to die soon.
Zen: Well shit, it's not at all like it hurts to be reminded of that.
Don't even, Zen, you have used so many hurtful words in your life.
Zen: What do you want little dead girl?
Danika: Just saying I hope you enjoy Hell! Also, it's better to be a little dead girl about to be resurrected than a dead old woman everyone will forget.
Zen: Oh, they won't. I'm pretty fucking memorable.
Mason, with the screwdriver: Wiggle wiggle wiggle.
NO
Mason: I've got the house all to myself in just a few days...well, me and Missy. Who won't be afraid of getting STABBED.
Zen: I am RIGHT HERE.
Mason: Yeah, I know.
Zen: You think you're gonna teach me a lesson? As if. Old dog, new tricks, we've all heard it, darling.
Mason:...I know.
Missy: Why the fuck does the bathroom look like this, someone clean it up-
Missy: Wait, I am someone.
Missy: Meh, fuck it, I'm gonna eat a taco and then go back to - oh SHIT I've got work. I hate being an adult! And I'm pregnant, someone help me!
Missy is 100% the kind of woman to milk her pregnancy from minute 1. She is almost in her second trimester here tho.
Mason: Why are you making me do this? It's HARD and I'm wrecking my new jeans!
Oh, it's not like gardening is your life's goal or anything oh WAIT-
Zenobia: You know you've really fucked up the landscaping of this large beautiful house you want me to die in-
Mason: I don't need to hear it, Ma, I'm already having regrets.
The grind never ends for Mason. He does 8 hour days in the garden and then generally has to clean up after his useless family.
Mason: Such is the family tradition....What a lousy fuckin' tradition? Who would come up with that?
Lynnwood on the TS4 forums? And 15 year-old me thought it was a good idea?
(Yeah, I'm 19 now. I've been neglecting this for a few years).
Zenobia: *hissss* I will not be replaced, I will not be disrespected - oh go AWAY, pterodactyl.
It's just the-
Mason: Insanity defence, I know. Mom, take that spoiled tea out of the tea-maker, for crying out loud, that's disgusting.
Maybe she is losing it a bit though. Case in point.
Zenobia: My son is not a better cook than me, no siree-
She did max out cooking from doing that, though. (And she did produce a pot of franks and beans, it just didn't load for a while and I thought it would be funny to make fun of her).
Missy: I wonder if this kid's gonna be blue like my dear blue boy. What a weird life I live.
Yeah, that's the Sutherlands for you, love. Hope you're enjoying it.
Missy: Are you kidding? So many comfy sofas. Damn, I need a nap.
Not-little-anymore-Eb runs past the house a lot. Maybe she really is like her father.
Ebony: Oh don't say that.
Mason: Oh GOD can I please live, I've put up with my mother this long, Watcher don't take life from me just as I'm about to be free-
If you pause at the right moment when someone's water-sliding, you can capture gold.
Mason: This isn't funny! My body isn't supposed to go like this! I can see my Plumbbob!
Lana's and Mariska's daughters both gave birth.
Missy: Wow, she's really getting soggy chlorine all over my comfy chair-
Zenobia: Yours? Do you want me to throw you off the balcony, baby and all?
Missy: Try me, bitch. Your old bones wouldn't be able to catch me!
Mercy: Mind me quickly using y'all's IP address for-
Zenobia: Oh, do what you will. As my wonderful son and that tramp he moved in have reminded me, I'm soon to join you in the land of the-
Mercy: Hell. Definitely hell, for the pair of us.
Zenobia: Anyway, the point is, if the feds are gonna come knocking, then I'll already be dead. Let them deal with it.
Mercy: Oh, you haven't changed a bit, sister.
Aaaand Lana also became a new mother a few hours later.
Nadia: This is so weird. Why.
Lana: I've been grieving all these measly human men I've married.
Nadia: By sleeping with more 'measly human men'?
Lana: Shut up, kid.
I didn't even realise she was pregnant!
Missy: Duuuuhhhhh
What's up with you? Also, please don't use the firepit by yourself, this late at night.
Missy: Ooooh, should I? Should I? It goes against my very nature, but I just chugged this whole bottle of non-drowsy cough syrup and I'm just buzziiiiinnnnggg-
Zenobia: Fuck you! Why don't I have a job anymore?
I was trying to give you a short retirement to relax during, before you die-
Zenobia: I didn't want that! I'm ambitious, did you forget?
...Yes?
Zen: Also, fuck everybody in this house, now I'm gonna make more mess and yell until someone cleans my shoes.
Wow, I was way behind on this! Yeah, Mason's garden is making a lot of money. Apparently I only counted up to 600,000 before so now we're getting a cool +80.
Danika: Ughhhh, so many stairs, can't make it-
Zenobia: Ew, no Mother. Besides the many reasons I hate you and don't want to see you, invest in some concealer, like damn.
Summer: At least I have a face, you ungrateful brat.
Mason: Right, so I'm about to become a father, and I have no idea how to parent. I mean, with parents like mine-
Wow. That's the whole Sutherland problem, ain't it? Mason just might be the best of the lot. I mean look at him, he's got self-awareness!
On the other side of the garden...
Zen: I guess I'm going to be a grandma, but I'm gonna die before these kids do anything interesting.
...Probably best you don't influence them in any way, Zenny.
Zen: Are you kidding? I'm gonna haunt the hell out of whatever little shits Mason and Missy produce!
Lux: What's up, losers!
*crickets*
Lux: Yeah, that checks. I got ignored when I lived here after all.
Lux: Doesn't bother me.
Zenobia: Well, shit, who's left now? Groot? Lana? Ugh!
RIP Felix, you conceited, child-hating prick. Thank you for amusing me with your relentless ego even as it became more and more obvious it was just a facade. Also, everybody hated you for it. Sorry dude, have a good afterlife.
Lux: This place realllyyy never changes.
Danika: And...fourrrrr....
Missy passed out. Great, thanks.
-5.
Missy: Quit bitching, you just got ninety points this chapter. You can lose 5.
Yes but I'd rather not.
Lux: God you're just as bad as my stepdad.
Missy: Hey, he was still the best out of that pair!
Lux: Yeah, I've also met my mother, I'd have to agree. But still, get it together girl. Like damn, are you trying to create a biohazard in this room?
Pregnancy is doing things to Missy. She wasn't this stupid before, I swear.
Like you're clean now, go to bed or you'll pass out again.
Hey look, I did some upgrades. Missy you got your points back!
+5.
Motherf-
Aaliyah's pregnant! Damn that kid is gonna be cute.
Who the Christ are you? Scram and stop eating our food!
Iris: I'm Iris, and the thing is I have-
Just get out! You don't belong here!
Iris: I mean it's not like the young master's ancestors are around.
HEY. Don't bring up the loss of the older ghosts. That shit still hurts.
The next morning...
Dammit Missy you really want me to regret choosing you, don't you?
Missy: Ugh, what's the worst that can happen? I have a craving OK, I'm pregn-
I KNOW. That doesn't mean you should cook while uncomfortable!
Zen: I'm boreeddddd. Not having a job sucks.
Mason: Ma I'm working. And I think the Watcher did you a favour, you are nearly 80 years old.
Zen: Psh. Suck up.
Missy: Ugh...hope the bitch dies before she finds out I ruined her couch. Broken water everywhere.
Don't worry, she will.
Missy: So...hospital?
Nah, we're busy. Go upstairs and shove it out.
Missy: Seriously?
It's the Sutherland way.
Missy: Your ways are stupid.
Mason: I feel like I'm missing something.
Missy's having the kid.
Mason: Figures that you wouldn't let me off the hook for that, huh?
Nope!
Mason: *sigh* Can I at least spend time with her once it's born and I'm done with this bullshit?
Wish granted my dude.
Missy: Uhhh...forgot the kid might be blue. But yeah. The kid's blue. Kind of thought she was dying for a second.
Missy you have a blue-skinned boyfriend who you call 'blue boy' as a pet name.
Missy: Lay off me, I just pushed out a baby and I didn't even tear my leggings.
Fine, congrats, whatever. Anyway, meet the first baby of Generation 10, Miss Tamsin Sutherland!
Ebony, somewhere: Technically, my baby Andrew is the first-
The first one who counts.
Missy: She's very cute, even though it does look like she'll die any second.
Would you stop talking like that? We haven't had any children actually die/be taken away yet in this legacy and I'd like to keep it that way!
Also Missy's a pretty good NTH mother so far. She managed to soothe baby Tamsin all on her own without too much trouble.
Bless you, Bentley. I miss you lots, actually.
Bentley: Oh Zen, our grandchild must be so sweet and wonderful, tell me everything about-
Zen: Sorry, dear, I'm two floors away playing video games.
Missy: Hell yeah, let's do this again! I think making people in me makes me a bit smarter, y'know.
Really.
Does it now.
Zenobia: I never liked you enough to go out of my way to hang out with you when you were alive, why would that change now?
Felix: Well you're going to be joining me soon, Zen!
Zenobia: Oh rub it in why don't you! At least I lived a decent life.
Felix: Did Dad bang Tara? Wait, no, our dear mother just had sex with Blaze.
Zenobia: This is why we don't hang out, you little bitch.
Zenobia: Right. Apparently nobody knows it's impolite to remind an old lady of the little time she has left. So let's talk, Missy.
Missy: Oh shit, is this about the couch?
Zenobia: I saw it. Just get it reupholstered before my ghost comes out. I am here to say I will officially accept you into this family. I still don't like you but as everyone keeps reminding me, I'll be dead and therefore won't have a say.
Missy: Uh, thanks, Mrs Sutherland. Do you wanna come chat on the street or-
Zenobia: Don't push me little miss. I could only bear this conversation because I had it looking down on you.
Missy: *muttering* God I'm so glad this bitch is half-dead.
Zenobia: What?
Missy: Nothinggg!
Danika: So, as Mason's aunt-
Missy: Wait, what? How are you-
Danika: I was forcibly adopted by Zenobia's mother by way of wishing well. Don't ask. Anyway, as somebody who has seen WAY too much of this family, I'm gonna do my best with your babies.
Missy: Oh, thanks. But I genuinely thought you were just some little dead stowaway. This family is weird...blue people...ghosts...
Danika: Please, that isn't even the half of it.
Mason: Why are you hoboing it out here, Lux?
Lux: My roommates are assholes.
Mason: That include your husband?
Lux:...No comment.
Mason: Damn, I think we make good parents.
Tamsin: Don't even, I've been alive for less than 12 hours. Check back in after my toddler years.
Mason: I guess the Sutherland precocious sass isn't gonna die out anytime soon...
Mason tried out the tablet he literally fished out of the water. I still don't see how that works but...whatever. Anyway, he can make whole paintings with it. This is the first one.
Bentley!
Bentley: Coulda sworn I was holding something!
As airheaded as ever I see.
Ohhhh, it's happening.
Zenobia: Damn I know!
Meanwhile...
Missy: Wouldn't it be cool to have an all-powerful freeze ray?
My Simself died.
RIP Azzy, wish we hung around with you more. May add you back in at some point.
Mason: Aw, you're almost as whiny as your grandmother.
Zen: *yelling across the hallway* I can HEAR YOU!
Tamsin: *cries harder*
Mason: Please shut up, kid...*sings* Shut up, please, oh shut up please, little baby Tamsin-
Mason: Well I'm not gonna use that toilet now!
Missy: Thanks *bleurgh* for being sooo *retch* supportive!
Mason: You're welcome, babe. I'll clean up in here later.
Dear God Mason.
Missy: I know right? *barfs again*
I shrank the garden. I don't trust Missy to properly raise the kids alone, especially after the second one is born. And y'all know there's gonna be more.
Mason: Thank God! Now can you help me get this space plant sucker off my damn head?
Danika: Wow, nephew, I love how you spray bug spray straight onto my landing area. It makes sliding so fun.
Mason: Don't sass me, these flowers keep you fed.
Danika: Don't try me bitch. You think I haven't seen the family bank statements?
Zenobia: This could be my last use of the toilet, and that girl leaves it like this? What did she eat, it's rank!
Zenobia: Can't you do something nice for me? I'm your mother and I'm dying!
Mason: Fine. We'll go back to that bar, I'm still waiting on that cherry tree, and you might die there and traumatise people. I know that'll make you happy.
Zen: Yeah, it will :).
Later...
Zen: Dammit! I wanna traumatise folks. Mason PROMISED. What if I die in the middle of an empty street like a loser?
Missy: WTF
Danika: She's been my sister for a loooong time.
Missy: You poor kid.
Danika: I'm technically gonna be your auntie, Missy.
Missy: You're also technically five!
Zen: Ughhhh how long is he taking messing around with this tree?
Missy: Mason and his plants...
Danika: Don't worry Zen, you've traumatised enough people in your life.
Zen: Oh you're just salty because I traumatised you.
Danika:...Fair enough.
Yeah, I sent Mason to Sylvan Glade to find plants and stuff. We'll go to the bar later for Zen.
Mason: I'm getting the hang of this fishing thing!
Right.
Danika: God I'm glad you can join me.
Zenobia: I hate you so much, little dead girl.
Missy: Craaaaaazy.
Danika: Nah. I was raised with this bitch. It's a Zenobia classic. The Insanity Defence!
I mayyyybe used ShiftClick functions to make this fuckin' tree grow...but seriously. I couldn't leave everyone stuck in fucking Sylvan Glade all night. There is fuck all for the idiots to do and no-one can take care of themselves. So it's off home, and then to a bar like we promised Pink Queen of Mean Zenobia over here. She's supposed to die tonight I think.
Danika: Hush lil baby...no seriously, shh. I want a nap.
Tamsin: OH GOD I CAN SEE THROUGH YOU
Missy: *snores*
I should really get Mason back up here shouldn't I.
Redhead lady: I bet if I just knock my head against this wall a little harder, I'll break through and find the PASSAGE-
Zenobia: Dying surrounded by idiots, huh? Maybe I should have just died at home.
Mason: Ya know-
Summer: Hello family!
Zenobia: And she's here. Great. Plus your dancing is awful, Mason.
Mason: Keep whining and I will actually throw you in the car - don't test me. I'll do it.
Caleb: Hello my dear!
Lilith: Yeah, he still hasn't given up. I don't blame him, you look fine girl.
Summer: Ugh, my marriage is already on the rocks-
(It is, I got an MCCC notification earlier today)
Lilith: Hey we both know you're up for ruining your marriages to younger redheaded men.
Summer: Ya know-
Caleb: She's got a point.
Summer: Keep going on like that and you'll never sleep with me,
Pantsless one: WOOOO! That was a loooot of ket.
Zenobia: God I hate people. At least I'll ruin their night.
Pink braids: Mmmm dat ass.
Zen: Well. Thanks, son.
Mason: No problem, Ma. Now please be careful when you haunt our house? I'm sick of repairing stuff.
Zen: That I can't promise, m'dear.
Mason: *sigh*
Zen: Well, it's happening! Hope y'all are happy.
I think they are, Zen.
Next time, Zen finishes dying, Tamsin grows up, and the second kid is born. If it's only one we might get the third on the way as well.
Score Sheet- 140
Single Births (27) +135
Twin Births (4) +40
Aspiration Tiers (70) +350
Aspiration (10) +100
Grade A (7) +35
Randomising everything for 1 gen (5) +50
Not using spare's satisfaction points (6) +60
Every 100,000 simoleons (10) +200
Immortalise TH (2) +10
Autonomous Skill Max (2) +20
Pass Out (113) -565
Self Wetting (35) -155
Fires (14) -140
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