Perfect Genetics - Gen 1, Week 2

Y'know something I realised? If the main ISBI was a Perfect Genetics legacy, we would have an heir in Lux.

...But it isn't, this is, and may Deanna and Felix's next kid be less of a fail (or, God forbid, an actual heir).



We start with a family breakfast.

Tucana: Heeeyyyy Moommaaa...

Deanna: Uh...yeah?

Tucana: Gimme some of that ATT-TEN-TION.

Felix: Oh Watcher can I please just sleep?

You ARE sleeping.



Aww...

Tucana: So you're my dad?

Felix: Hell yeah, kid.

Tucana: I am not impressed.

Awww...?



Felix: The things I do for you...

Deanna: *sleepily* That's nice baby...



She's been mobile for less than twelve hours and is already trying to run away.

Tucana: I know when I'm not wanted.



Felix: Come back please.

Tucana: Affection, yeah! OK Dad, I guess I'll come back...

Felix: Am I awesome?

Tucana: Whatever.

Is this how Felixes are created?



Deanna: Say 'shoes'

Tucana: Sue...you! Sue you sue you!

Deanna: ...Please don't do that.



Deanna: OH dear...

Felix: Suck it, other me, you just got BEAT - uh, De?

Deanna: I'm gonna go to the hospital now...

Felix: You do that.

Deanna: Aren't you gonna help me?

Felix: Chess, chess, chess...and Tucana, right. I have to look after her.

Deanna: Where is she?

Felix: I 'unno...

Deanna: Ass.



Welcome Orion, our second little failure. *sigh*



Deanna: If you say the word awesome I'm leaving the bed.

Felix: Don't worry honey, I remember the rules.

Orion: God I wish I didn't exist right now.

Tucana: *mercifully asleep*



Deanna: Yay.

Number three!



Felix: De says I need to hang out with you, even if I don't really like children-

Tucana: Don't even try it. I can't look at either of you after what I've just seen!



Being sent on a collectibles hunt while pregnant, and not even mad about it. Deanna is one classy chick.

I almost regret dragging her into this mess.



Lilith: The fuck is that thing?

THE FUCK ARE YOU HERE FOR?

Felix: Why am I a side character now?

Because you're not doing anything interesting. And you've been out of focus for TWO SCREENSHOTS, so CHILL.



Orion: *cries after half an hour*

Deanna: I love raising children!

Are you being sarcastic?

...Something tells me she isn't, though.



Orion is an annoying and fussy fail child, so Tucana has to sleep outside.

Tucana: I sleep better under the stars!



The next morning...

Tucana: I hate everything!

I don't blame you. Come on now, eat the floor sandwich.

Tucana: AAAGGGGH!



Deanna: I don't want to brag, but I just got a promotion - it did take me an entire work day though-

Brag! Brag all you like! Bills came in, we need more room for the kids...so we need that money.

Deanna:....Then fuck yeah, I'm amazing.



Deanna: I really hope no-one walks behind this house...

Tucana: This isn't normal, is it Mama?

Deanna: Nope! Not at all!



Deanna: Can I pee yet?

Tucana: But why do I have to go in the hole?

Orion: I'm screaming yet AGAIN!

Deanna: I swear I'm about to piss myself here!

Orion: WAAAAHHH-

Tucana: But WHYYY-

Deanna: And off myself. Maybe.

Poor Deanna. Felix hurry and get home for the love of God.



Felix: The children are sorted? Sweet.

Nice of you to finally get here.

Felix: Don't hate, I got a promotion!

That is true...



Vlad: I did say I'd be back, didn't I.

Felix: Not today, Satan-

Vlad: That would be Count-



Felix: What was that? I couldn't hear you through all the ice! :D

That was pretty awesome, Felix.



The next morning...

Deanna: I'm about to drink this firework-shooting random potion, I'm having another kid while we can barely take care of the two we already have AND the shower broke?

This just isn't your week, is it De?

Deanna: No frigging shit!



Deanna: How many of these basic baby things must I carry and care for?

Hopefully not too many!

Orion: I feel so wanted.

Deanna: I may be good...but shut up, kid.



Felix: I'm too fucking awesome for this shit. Shouldn't we call a plumber or something? Isn't that what people do?

You aren't people, Felix.



And then OF COURSE Tucana's crying on the lawn for...no reason!

Tucana: But I hate blocks!

Then do something else!

Tucana: Like WHAT?

That...that is true.



That evening, Orion aged up with...the FUSSY trait. I should have known, considering how annoying a baby he was.

Orion: This isn't how this is supposed to work.

Deanna:...Ya think?



...Well, he succeeds more than Tucana, that's for sure.

Brown hair, yay! Too bad he fails at both skin and eyes.



The toddlers actually have a room in which to sleep now, yes!

Orion: This isn't satisfactory.

It's all you got.



Deanna: Hey, handsome.

Felix: Wow...right, we live together.

Deanna: Yeah, it's been a while since we've had any time to ourselves, and we still don't really have any. But I gotta whim so...

Felix: We should do some romance stuff, huh.

Deanna: Yup!



We're functional, see!

Tucana: Isn't it midnight?

Shush child. I'm trying to keep you all in line here, really I am.



Felix: Nooo take someone else!

Vlad: What, your pregnant wife or one of your two toddler-aged children? You'd offer them up? Seriously man...you're a dick!

Felix: Which one of us has broken into a house?

Vlad:...You shut up!



Felix: Could he get any louder?

Orion: Certainly, Father!

Felix: -__-



Tucana: A friend for me! :D

Kid, you're depressing.



Meanwhile, Orion throws a shitfit in the bathroom.

Orion: Somebody pay attention to me! I demand to be cared for!



Deanna: I should probably know where my toddlers are, shouldn't I?...Meh, how far can they go?

The sheer chaos/number of kids is really taking a toll on poor Deanna (and her good nature), I fear.

Orion: I want this thing to be my parent!

Tucana: Oh I've tried, it's no substitute.



Orion: I see it, Mum. You like the mirror more than you like me.

Deanna: Well...well...I can't really say much to that. For one thing, the mirror's a lot quieter than you, just saying.



Deanna: What is this house? Its state offends me to the core!

Felix will be home in about...five hours to fix it all!

Deanna: Joy.



The only person Orion likes is his older sister Tucana.

They can be genetic failures together than.



FINALLY Felix is home and can do stuff for us again!

Felix: Glad to know I'm so important to this place...that's pretty awesome. So is this garden.

Aw, you get more and more realistic about yourself every day.

I did have to replace the toilet for Deanna though. She was about to wet herself, poor girl.



Deanna: Are you SURE the hospital isn't a possibility?

Felix: It is if you want this house to flood! I have to fix this sink, I'm sorry! Just...push and I'll be there soon!

Deanna: Uuuuggggh.



Deanna: A blue kid? That means I can stop incessantly squeezing these things out?

We'll see after he grows up, won't we? And blue baby makes five. And pale baby on the lawn makes six.

She had twins! Woo.... (where the fuck are they gonna sleep we are so low on money).

The boy, and only blue kid, is named Aldebaran, and his pale failure of a twin sister is Alsephina.



Felix: Four kids? I have four kids!

Deanna: Oh good for you, you can count. Meanwhile I just pushed two humans out of my body, making a total of four humans that I have pushed out of my body. Seriously, calm down, man.



Felix: Oh God, didn't we just change his nappy?

Deanna: We can deal with it later, my dear.

Felix: The smell of baby shit isn't an aphrodisiac, De.

Deanna: Who cares? We need this.



Felix: I haven't missed this part...I bet you're all-

Deanna: Nope, I'm done with this too. No more kids, please.

Again, we'll see! If Aldebaran doesn't have the right hair and eyes you have to have another kid! Them's the rules.



Fancy bath-shower thing!

Deanna: DO YOU MIND-

OK, I'm leaving!



Orion: What is this thing? Mother answer me!

Deanna: *literally couldn't give less of a shit*

Orion:...I like it.

He and Tucana both got happy moodlets so that's nice.



That evening...

Deanna: The hell is going on at this daycare? I can see his smell!

Orion: This is UNPLEASANT!

Deanna: Too true, kid.



Lilith is over here, regretting her life choices.

Lilith: How do you know that's what I'm doing?

You're married to and pregnant by Malcolm Landgraab?

Lilith: Fine, you were absolutely right! God I regret everything!



These twins are going to be the death of us all.

Felix: ARGH!



Sometime in the early morning...

Felix: De why are you eating a BLT right now? Please God don't be pregnant again.

Deanna: *shrug* We did just have sex. It could be so.

Felix: I thought you would be more mad about that.

Deanna: *shrug* Given up on that. I am now numb to the chaos around me.

Tucana: Good plan, Mum, just great. Now can we have my birthday or not?

Felix: Yeah yeah I'm getting to it...Number One.

Tucana: Great.



Felix: Is this even my child.

Tucana: Dad quit being an idiot.

She is a mini-Deanna though.

She got the Insane trait (thanks Felix) and the Scamp aspiration.



Tucana is also back to sleeping on the lawn. There is room for her to bunk with Orion but I felt that would be disruptive.

And that bed can't quite fit in the toddler room yet. So it stays out.



Case in point.

Orion:  Take care of me! I want...something!

Deanna: Felix take this.

Felix: *groan* What is it?



Tucana: Your milk's black...

Orion: Just because you're big now you know everything?

Tucana: Wh - what? Well, I know what the voice tells me but apart from that-

Orion: HOW DARE YOU-

Tucana: Jeez bro you grow up in three days. Just stop freaking out, okaaaay?

Orion: *scowl*

*person minus minus*



Sadly, this is the only motor-skilling object we have. She can practice typing and that's it.

ALSO Orion is crying for no reason and it's making her tense. These kids and their moods - I cannot win.



The twins are REALLY trying my patience. Deanna has a day off so she's handling everything. And they cry all the freaking time. SHUT UP YOU TWO.



Later that afternoon, Orion goes to bed and the twins seem to be pacified, so there is some calm...

Deanna: So, Tucana, how are you doing on...the thing you're doing...is it games? Are you gaming? Did you do your home-

Tucana: Typing, and yes I did my work. It's OK, Mum, I know everyone forgot about me today. You don't have to pretend.



JESUS.

This is the only one I took a picture of but he's been doing this for-fucking-ever. And it's only ever Deanna, even though he knows Felix too.

....Fucking creep.



Felix: You beat me? No way! I'm way more-

Deanna: You'll want to think about how you end that sentence, hon.

Felix: That is true. Well done De -__-.



Oh OK THEN ALDEBARAN.

Be a FAIL.

Great, more kids.



Alsephina: I don't like it!

Felix: Son I know you're better than this.

Aldebaran: I can't help it, I'm half-stuck in Mum's butt.

Deanna: Not my fault we have no living space.



Seph got the brown hair though. The three youngest all have exactly ONE correct genetic feature. It's a little annoying.



Caleb: *tortured screaming*

Tucana: I feel you, after what I just saw.

(Her parents trying for number 5)



Sorry about the weird angle, but I couldn't not take this.

This is legit the funniest shit I've ever seen in my game.

Deanna: WHO IS THAT?

Felix: One of your vampire friends, probably!

Deanna: Ooh, I swear to God if it's Masato-

Caleb: *screaming*



Deanna: I guess this is my life now!

:( I'm sorry De.



Deanna: SERIOUSLY WHY IS THIS MY LIFE? This room smells like my worst nightmares!

Orion: HAAALLLLP



Tucana and Alsephina are...

Alsephina: Hey! Hey hey hey! No-one can be happy cos I'm not! AHHHH! Wakey wakey sister cakey!

Tucana: Wh-what are you talking about? *groan*

...gaining a sisterly bond?



Orion, waking up BOTH his parents.

Deanna: Jeez kid, what do you want?

Orion: My foot's...kinda in this bowl...

Felix: De handle it -_- *rolls over*



Tucana loves all of her siblings! /s

Orion: I think my foot's bleeding, Tukie...

Aldebaran: Guess who it is! Can you read me looooads of stories?

Tucana: *sigh* Brothers...



Alsephina: Tucana! Tuca-Tuca-NA! Hiiii!

Tucana: What is wrong with my siblings.

You're the insane one.

Tucana: No need to be sexist.

Sorry?

(Side note: I just love Sephy's ghost onesie)



Alsephina: You wish you could be this. I don't need anyone to tell me I'm awesome!...I'm gonna do things and be awesome that way!

Take notes, Felix.



Alsephina:...and the worm just wriggled right into his shirt!

Aldebaran: Uh. That didn't happen.

Orion: Wait, really? Could it be?

Alsephina: In your shirt? Yes! Worms are everywhere, you guys!

Orion: I came out to have a good time and I'm SO SCARED HELP-

Aldebaran: You two are idiots.



Felix: Awesome powers! Awesome powers! Get in me!

Deanna: And here I was thinking he had character development?

Alsephina: Mum...

Deanna: No wonder I haven't whimmed to marry him yet.

Alsephina:...I just wanted to tell you I'm awe-

Deanna: Please DO NOT.



Tucana: I have SEEN THINGS. Actually, more like smelled 'em. The toddler room is a horrorshow. And this pile of plates is bigger than my head.

Sorry girl, you're the only free one around here and...yeah.



Deanna: *bleurgh* Fuck my life.

I think they need a break. They being Deanna, Felix and Tucana.



Tucana: So, come on guys, what're we gonna do here-

Felix: No kids!

Deanna: It's such a relief! I love them but...we need a break! Come here!

Felix: Gladly. You're my fiance! We're not just two caregivers living in the same house.

Deanna: A kid-free morning, bless the Watcher!

Tucana:...Did they just forget I'm here or...



Tucana: OH! Gross, gross! We're in PUBLIC...seriously why am I here-



Tucana: Don't look so down! I'm sure your life is great!

Channing: But I'm sa-

Tucana: Are you sad? Come on now. I live in a three-room shack with my three siblings and parents. I sleep outside. I'm getting some more siblings too!

Channing: Wow-

Tucana: Right? So stop your whining and cheer up, friend! Things aren't that bad for you!



Channing (who is the Bheeda's kid btw) and Tucana are super-cute. I know she's only been a kid for like, one day, but I'm seeing future spouse potential...

Tucana: What? No! Ew! I'm six!

Channing: Me too...?

Tucana: Never mind, never mind. Now let me tell you what my mum did...



The parents, after relaxing a little, make sure to spend some time with their daughter.

Felix: I can't get through you, Tucana!

Tucana: You're an idiot, Dad!



Deanna: Hey, Tucana, remember when you used to sleep outside? GOOD TIMES!

Tucana: What? I still sleep outside! There's still some sap in my hair from last night!

Deanna: Soon it'll be a distant memory...!

Tucana: Huh?



Tucana introduces herself to potential spouses friends, and Deanna joins in on the conversation.

Deanna: How would you guys like to hear about the reality of poverty?

Tucana: Mum you're embarrassing me!

Terrence: *looking around nervously*

Annalise: I don't need your real-world experience, I got my CLAYBOY

Deanna: Sweetie, you do know that is a blob.

Annalise: CLAYBOY.



Deanna is still talking to Tucana and Terrence.

Deanna: Now lemme tell you about the benefits of becoming a vampire!

Terrence: Yeah, I gotta go to bed.

Tucana: But it's like...4pm.

Terrence:...My mum is very strict bye.

Tucana: Mu-um...

Deanna: See Tuca? You're lucky. I'm a very lenient mother.

Tucana: *sigh*



Back at home...

Improvements!

Felix and Deanna really needed a better bed, and technically Tucana can sleep outside but I felt bad. So now she has a little box room of her own.



Felix: Heh, so how was your day at-

Tucana: I saw you get flirty around that pink dress lady.

Felix:...No way. That was after I talked to the guy in the zip-up.

Tucana: That's almost worse.

Felix: I wasn't even doing anything!

Tucana: Right.

Tbh he really wasn't. I think he really does love Deanna.



Tried to have Deanna raise her friendship with Lilith so she can become a vampire. Didn't work. I did this interaction and then I realised she was in labour.

Deanna: Wow! So you're about six months along now?

Lilith:...I'm a lot further, dear.

Lol sorry De, you just get huge.



Why are you over? Did I accidentally click yes to 'can I come over'?

Don: Yup.

Deanna: Good day today, huh babe?

Felix: Really good to spend it with you...!

Don: Psh. I'd show her a real good time...once she isn't pregnant, of course.

Quit checking out your great-great-great-great-great-grandson's fiance, Don, ya creep.



Lilith gave birth to triplets. Dang.

Lilith's icon: Damn it feels good to be a...actually, this sucks. What have I done?

I love their names though.



Oh, this is gonna be a fun morning.

Alsephina: Hungry...

Orion: Filthy...

Aldebaran: Hungry AND filthy...I win!

Not a competition! And why is that freaking BOTTLE still there?



Deanna: Me and my happy loved children...*sigh*

Alsephina: Whatever makes ya feel good, Ma.




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