Sutherlands Get Random - 1.1

I actually started this a couple YEARS ago, when Lux hadn't even grown up yet (but I knew her traits), but never published any of it. That changes today.



Lux: Wasn't I supposed to be left alone? After you moved me out?

Sorry. I wanted to do a Random Legacy with you guys and when I rolled the Gen 1 parameters it was obvious you're the best fit to kick this off!

(Here they are by the way, if you wanna see. They're all going to be revealed in this chapter anyway)

Lux: OK. Whatever. Just tell me this house is mine and mine alone.

You will be having a family who lives here, but you get to pick them.

Lux: Nice. Now, do I have to get a bullshit job or-?

Criminal career. Oracle branch. There's a bunch of restrictions on moneymaking too, but luckily as a side job you can hack things and make viruses.

Lux: That's more like it. Oh, I wanna take my Mum's workplace down right away! And mess with her LinkedIn or something.


Lux's generational goal is to make a whole bunch of Good Friends (one a week) and keep them until she (or they) die. So I took her out to the pool to do her career task (mischief) and make some friends.

She's going to befriend old people, I think. Then she doesn't have to bother keeping up the friendship for too long.

Lux: Wassup, Wrinkles? Let's be friends.

Vivian:...Hey.


Lux: So, I just heard that your husband...is dead!

Vivian: Yeah, no shit, random weirdo lady. God, the people you meet nowadays...

Lux: Also your daughter-in-law is almost certainly cheating on your son.

Vivian: WHAT-


Vivian: OH I knew that little slut wasn't good enough for my Eric!

Lux: I know, right!

Vivian: How did you know that...didn't you just move to town?

Lux:...Gossip gets around fast, y'know!


Lux: And you're an idiot for not noticing!

Vivian: Shut it you little bitch, mkay?


Lux: But really, I take infidelity very seriously.

One of the only things you take seriously.

Lux: Shut up, and it's because my father was sleeping with my grandmother, before I was even born-

Vivian: I don't need to hear your life story?

Lux: But we're friends!

Vivian:...WHAT? I just met you at a pool and you started telling me random gossip - and reminding me of the fact that I'm widowed.

Lux:...No way, I know people do way worse than that to other people and they're friends with those people!

Vivian: Where?

Lux: My home-universe.

Vivian: Jesus Christ...


Lux: *muttering* We're not friends, huh? We're not friends? Eat this, Viv!

Vivian: No...nicknames...ahzahuiohfwi STOP!

Lux: NEVER! Say uncle, sucker, or better yet, say that we're friends.

Vivian: ALRIGHT WE'RE FRIENDS.


Vivian: So what does being 'friends' with you entail...Miss?

Lux: You will hang out with me every weekend!

Vivian: No...

Lux: EVERY WEEKEND! HAHAHAHAHA!


After...whatever the fuck that was, I got Lux settled in to start programming, because she's broke af.

There are no lights in the house. That's how broke she is.

Lux: I'm gonna try and find my mum's bank account, find something blackmail-y on my boss, and I'll probably check Twitter too.


Lux: Yeah, I'm new. What's wrong with that?

Mila: Nothing at all, my dear.

Dominic: Moira, she's blue-

Moira: We don't need to be racist, Dominic.

Dominic: But she's-

Maaike: And being blue isn't normal? Bigot - wait what am I talking about?

Dominic: Exactly.

Lux: How about all of you shut up? Or maybe you'll just...lose all your money one day.

Dominic: Talking is how I make my money, dear.

Lux: Then face me, coward.


Mila: I can't believe you, Dominic. Blue people are just like rest of us!


Lux: So...you stole my hair colour-

Moira: I lived here first!

Lux: And you, Maki, or whatever - you're too young to be my friend...and you're kind of ugly...and you dress bad...and-

Maaike: I get it, OK! You don't like me!

Lux: Whaaa... I'm just kidding! We could be friends one day!

Maaike: ...You're verbally abusing me, Lux.

Lux: I could do worse, you unsightly freckled fool.


Moira: What the hell? There's no need to be RUDE.

Lux: Oh please! I said a lot worse to Groot and he still texts me...well he did before I moved into this AU. My social skills are just FINE, thanks!

Maaike: *lip wobbles* This was a mistaaaake...


Lux: Jesus fucking Christ OW! Why was Aunty Mercy so obsessed with knives?...And yes, I listened to some of Mum's stories.

Lux, who cares, there's a welcome wagon of people outside!



Lux: Fuck 'em. They don't get me!

I don't think any non-Sutherland gets you.

Lux: Oh bullshit. I don't even like the fam. Someone'll get me, but it ain't these freaks!

Right. They're the freaks.



Go fuck yourself, Dominic. Making this salad brought her down to £3. It ain't for you!

So I quit the Welcome Wagon and kicked them all the fuck out.



Lux: Hi, Moira. Does this hurt?

Moira: Hehe...kind of...

Lux: Good. Stop smiling like an idiot, get the fuck out of my room. I'll call you sometime! We should be friends.

Moira: Yeah I definitely don't want to smile anymore.

Lux: Byyyeee!



The next morning, we start off with Lux showing off her ass to everyone who walks by.

You know who else liked to walk around in their underwear, Lux?

Lux: Don't you say it.

Your mother. Zenobia. That which you are the spawn of.

Lux: *narrows eyes*



She spent the whole morning programming in her underwear.

Lux: Well, Watcher, do you think that a profile on a dating site explicitly calling for married women is enough for blackmailing?

No comment! Work this sketchy shit out by yourself!



Lux: This is the worst trust-fund security I've ever seen...but I'm not gonna complain!



After her job...

Lux: Mwahahaha! Who says crime doesn't fricking pay?

I was initially annoyed because her pay was 9 an hour, but the bonus she got from her promotion was pretty big. So yay!



Lux: See! I can wear my real fucking pyjamas! Unlike my mother, am I right Watcher?

Eh.



Vivian: Nice place you got, friendo...uh, hello?

Lux: Vivian. I've been expecting you.

Vivian:...Of course, you invited me over.

Lux: Right, right. Just doing a bit. Wanna hear some gossip?



Lux: Come on, Viv, aren't I doing you a favour? You're a lonely old lady-

Vivian: I JUST got remarried!

Lux: Wow. 'Grats. Who's the dude?

Vivian: His name is J, and I'd rather be here with him instead of you, friendo.

Lux: Stop passive-aggressively calling me friendo! And how I wish you could leave...but the Watcher's parameters tell me otherwise. Stay.

Vivian: Or what?



Lux: There's more where that came from.

Vivian: ALRIGHT, I'LL STAY!

Lux: Stop acting like you have a choice.



Lux: Awesome, awesome. That was real fun, right? Now streak.

Vivian: What? How dare you?

Lux: You can leave then.

Vivian: ...



Vivian: FIVE MORE SECONDS, LUX!

Lux (from inside): As long as I want you to, got it Viv!



Later, I sent her to look for spouse potentials...in this cafe.

Santino: Well hello, Miss-

Lux: Shut up, the Watcher made me, shut up-

Santino: Watcher what-a? Works for me. Wanna try my coffee?

Lux: Absolutely not.



Bjorn: Hello, can I get my latte or not?

Santino: Just hold on, man, talking to a hot chick here!

Lux: Did you know that you're going to be stuck here for life, saddo?



Lux: Blah-blah-blah, I'm Santino and I'm going to get a demotion because I'm talking to people I don't have a shot in hell with.

Bjorn: Hahaha, you're real funny, Lux...but if he doesn't have a shot, what about-?

Lux: There's more than two men in this town, creep.



WHY are all the freaking men here married adults?

Baako: Don't we just love our wives, guys? Bjorn, Geoffrey, aren't you just delighted with your soulmates-

Geoffrey: No! *starts waving* Someone, out there, help me!

Bjorn: Uh...sorry, I wasn't paying attention to what you said, Baako?

Lux: Of course you weren't.



Lux: So, you love your wife?

Bjorn: I - dammit, Baako!

Lux: Just answer the question, sweetheart. Or someone might find your Tinder...

Bjorn: How do you know about that? Is that why you're here?

Lux: Don't flatter yourself.



At the gym, Lux's insanity takes over.

Lux: Fuck you, and your muscles! There are too many of them! I will put laxative in your protein powder!

Marcus: DON'T YOU DARE, I WILL CALL THE POLICE-

Don: Hm, I like a fiery woman!

Technically she's your...great-great-great-great-great-great-granddaughter.

Don: Uh...what? No. The Lothario is free. The Lothario doesn't have a lousy family.



Don: *running away* Yeah I don't wanna get involved...

Lux: I am so sorry, and I never say that-

Marcus: Never?

Lux: Never. Other people generally are worse than me. But not anymore!

Marcus: Uh, OK...

I forced her to do this.

Lux: Shhhh!



Marcus: Bosses be like-

Lux: Right?

J's arm: I don't want to be in this shot; Viv's insane friend is in it.

Lux: We don't want you in here either, J!



J: -Hahaha, really? That's hilarious! Not sure what my wife was talking about, you seem fine...

Lux: Oh, don't say that honey, Viv's great.

Marcus: Uh...I'm in this conversation too right?

Eliza: Let's get physical, physical - 'cos we're at a gym, lazy assholes!



Caleb: Your grandma's a vampire...and blue? Awesome!

Lux: Yeah, right, so blue and awesome, just the coolest...also, an AU version of yourself has been infatuated with her for years now so...

Caleb: What was that?

Lux: Nothing.



Lux: So you're gonna make one of those suckers my husband? OK then...

Well...you've got a while as you only have to have one kid (spoiler) so really it could be anyone. But I guess we have three possibilities so far.

And you being with any of them is a bit messed up.
- Marcus Flex, who banged your great-great-aunt Elin in another universe.
- J, who's married to your only friend.
- Caleb, who in another universe has been obsessed with your grandma for ages, and was even a little obsessed your mother for a little bit.

Lux: Then I definitely don't want Caleb, if his taste in my home universe was that bad.

Y'know what? Fair enough.



Lux: ...We almost got caught tonight.

Wanna reconsider? I'm sorry but-



Lux: No! *hisssss* NO!

OK, you can't anyway! Now go to bed, it's 3am!

She got ANOTHER promotion, woot!



The next morning...

Lux: Another day another dollar! We always pay through the nose here! Don't throw stones, glass houses!

There's that insanity.

Lux: I'm just bored with the world.

...Do you want to wreak havoc a bit later?

Lux: Why not?



How in twenty hells are you doing this stuff in stiletto heels?

Lux: 'Cos I'm the boss!



Marcus came over flirty. What could it mean...?



It means he'll accept this hug.

Lux: Hi, Marcus...how's your day been going? It's so great to see you.

Marcus: Nice to see you too, Lux. Any more apologies?

Lux: Aha, you are funny...*steals some bills*



Marcus: You're the best!

Lux: Aren't I just? *pockets his money*



Lux:...Of course, you're not bad yourself.

Marcus: I'm not, am I?

Lux: You needed to be told that...good.

Marcus: What was that?

Lux: Nothing important.



Marcus: So we're...pissing off the Watcher?

Lux: Yeah! Fun, right?

Marcus: Sure, whatever.

-__- Nice place to chat, y'all.



The conversation derailed after she talked about video games, though, and soon enough it was 'Tedious'.

Marcus: Tedious? Try scary! That girl is scary!

Yep. It's gonna take a special man to handle our Luxy.

Marcus: Whatever! Just take her away from me!



Well, Lux looks disturbing as hell here.

Lux: Heh...heh...never mind, right? On to the next, I assume.

Tomorrow.



Vivian: I didn't want to come back, but J said I 'misunderstood' you, and of course I'll listen to my young, hot, husband-

Lux: Listen to that man all you like, Vivi, if it means we get to hang out!

Vivian: Just don't do anything weird.

Lux: Of course not...



Lux: We can do fun normal friend things like this!

Vivian:...Lux we're lying on the ground.

Lux: I know.

Vivian: Can we...get up?

Lux: No.

Vivian: *sigh*

Lux: So let me tell you about Marcus...



Lux: Oh Vivian, you're the only person who understands me.

You still might go after her husband.

Vivian: R-really?

OK, Lux, just steal the money and quit being falsely soppy.

Lux: *comes up empty-handed*

Huh.



Lux: I'll find you next time, Victor Feng's college sextape!

Good day then?

Lux: ACTUALLY, it-

Oh never mind, go to bed.



The next day, having been invited over by Vivian...

Lux: Hiiiii!

J: Oh...hi, Lux.

Lux: *steals some bills*

You haven't changed that much, have you Luxy?



Lux: Let's talk Blicblock!

J: You like Blicblock?

Lux: Who doesn't-

J: Lol ur lame.

WHY does this interaction always FAIL?



J: Despite your love for Blicblock you're kind of a cool chick.

Vivian: Alright, J, don't wax lyrical about her.

Lux: I am, aren't I?



Lux: No - guys - I did not want to be involved in this! J, why would you put her leg in my l - oh fuck it, I'm out!

(J was also a bust)



Audra: I know you want to hit that.

Clara:...She's right there, Audra.

Lux: Eh. Given my childhood, there's not a lot that can make me uncomfortable.

Clara: Uh...

Lux:...My dad had repeated sex with my Grandma; they later married.

Clara: UHHH...

Audra: You from a soap opera or something, hon?

Lux: I know, right?



Lux: Heya!

Nicola:...You sound excited.

You do, Lux. What gives? You hate and attack almost everything.

Lux: Yeah, well I won't do it to...what's your name again?

Nicola: I'm Nicola, I just moved to town.

Lux: Alright...nice to meet ya.

Nicola: Same to you, sweeth - I mean - uh. Hi.

Remember how I said it would take a special man to handle Lux? Well maybe, no man is gonna do the trick. Hello Nicola, you seem pretty cool.












Comments