Sutherland Ascendants - 1.3


We start back up with Acacia on a date with Umbriel's friend Marcus. Umbriel herself has decided she wants to marry her boyfriend, Acacia's brother Oleander.

Acacia: Why. Why are you sat here?

Umbriel: Can't a lady eat lunch in her own house?

Marcus: I don't wanna like, kick you out of the room but-

Umbriel: Right. What exactly are your intentions with my boyfriend's sister-

Acacia: Umbriellll please I really need this-

Umbriel: Yeah alright, I'm done making y'all squirm. Good luck.


Marcus: Is that strawberry lipgloss?


Marcus: God you're hot. Even that rank old plate from your toddler's breakfast can't kill the mood.

Acacia: Yes, I apologise. You know, They are trying chemical warfare now. But it won't work. Umbriel and Oly are science people and they're really smart.


Umbriel: Hey so remember that thing I brought up...we should go out and discuss it, I've put on my cutest outfit, and-

Oly: Hang on I'm trying to debug this code, manager's on my ass for it.

Umbriel:...Wait then. OK.

This is where romance goes once you live together I guess.


Umbriel: Jeez guys, get a room. Kid's right there.

Blake: Just me and my blocks. And Auntie Umby. Nothing else!


Acacia: Take me now, handsome.

Marcus: Oh hell yes!

Umbriel: 'Can you watch my child, Umbriel?' 'Oh yes, sure Acacia. Do the damn dishes as well'.

Acacia: I've said I'm not getting near that green miasma.

Umbriel: And I'm not hiring goddamn waste management for your paranoia, it's too expensive.


As part of her Gemini goals Umbriel still needs to befriend an elderly person and invite him to stay.

Umbriel: You know, if your house ever gets too much to manage, my place is always open. I mean I already take care of Acacia...and Blake, I guess-

Bentley: Hmph! You think me feeble and pathetic, young lady? 

...This man is kind of an incarnation of the ISBI Gen 8 spouse, also a Bentley.

Umbriel:...You heard of a lady named Zenobia?

Bentley: What the hell are you on about now?


They ended up becoming friends anyway.

Umbriel:...so I told that client, you've switched your operating systems three times now, you better fulfil that overtime clause or I'll bring the whole website down! Tons of sensitive data they had up there too.

Bentley: Ah, you're not so bad, kid. You've got spunk. I like that. Just don't bring up the house thing, mmk? It's sweet but there's a lotta life in me yet!

Umbriel: Understood. Regular friends then?


Bentley: You have interesting taste in wallpaper.

Umbriel: My boyfriend likes cats. I own the house. It's called a compromise.

Mitchell: Somebody tell my wife Ulrike that then! She threatened divorce if I didn't get out of the house and let her watch Vampire Diaries in peace. Can you believe that?

Umbriel: I know Ulrike so...yes.

Mitchell: You're a welcoming person Umbriel, and I immediately thought of yours.

Bentley: You have interesting taste in friends.


Acacia's baby daddy reached out.

Acacia: Ooh, are you angling for a comparison? 


Acacia...

Acacia: It's so nice to meet you gentlemen.

Mitchell: She. She's looking at me like that. Never had that on life's bingo card.

Bentley: Now now Miss, the man just talked about his goth wife or something-

Mitchell: Um...did I?


Umbriel: Cool, we're here, let's finally t-

Oly: I've been itching for a game all day. Pawn to E4!

Umbriel: OK, that's not why we're here and also this isn't Harry Potter.


Umbriel: Baby. I love you. If you're not ready, just tell me. it won't change a thing.

Oly: No, I really do love you. I want to commit. I just...kind of used to be a real dick when I was younger? I don't want to hurt-

Umbriel: Haha as if that's news. Acacia told me loads about your shared childhood. If I gave a fuck things would have never gotten this far. I know I'm great.

Oly: You are, you're amazing, and I guess I would like to get married. It's still quite sudden though-

Umbriel: I know, darling. That's what an engagement is for.


Umbriel: What do you say?

Oly: I say bring out the ring!...Just for the rhyme, I can definitely buy one-


Umbriel: That won't be necessary, my love.

Oly: Oh it's beautiful! Did you seriously get a cat engraved into the silver?

Umbriel: Consider it a promise...for when things are less crazy at the house.

Oly: But Acacia lives with us.


Oly: It's so prettyyyy

Umbriel: Putty in my hands. As if I could worry about him with another.


Oly: So. I'm engaged now. Exciting, right?

Acacia: Yeah, I gave up on doing that first around the time Caleb Vatore got married.

Oly: You're too good for him, sis.

Mitchell: Amen.

Oly: Way too good for that schlub too.

Mitchell: What did I do?

Umbriel: Can you guys use the living room, I'm trying to catch up on this project.

Umbriel does still have a job. It's just freelancing though so her schedule is much more flexible.


Dion the ghost is back!

Dion: Today I bake away the rage! I shall become the man my ex Sarah always deserved.


Acacia is actually a pretty decent mum.

Acacia: So darling. Sorry about the living room yesterday. I tend to get caught up in romance.

Blake:...Right. Hey, other kids at daycare talk about dads. What's a 'dad'? Don't I only have Uncle Oly?

Acacia:...Welp. I should have definitely prepared better for THIS conversation.


Oly:...Blake is asking about dads. I think Acacia ran outside into the rain to clear her head. What do we do.

Umbriel: Don't worry darling I distracted him with several dinosaur toys.

Oly: And that worked?

Umbriel: OK I also let him try to crack open a geode.

Oly:...Eh, not my kid.

Umbriel: He's wearing safety goggles!


Acacia is actually just talking to her new man.

Marcus: Boo! They're on your doorstep!

Acacia: Fuck! The ritual didn't work! It's the end of us all-

Marcus: I...was joking.

Acacia: That's so unfunny that you must be one of them!


Eh they made up. For better or for worse.

Acacia: You're super-double-ultra sorry then?

Marcus:...Sure.

Acacia: Just never do it again. We can't cry wolf when it comes to the persecutors, Marcus. I must stay on my guard.


Acacia: Alright, Blake. You see, you do have a dad but he can only come out at night.

Blake: But...but...I sleep at night! Why can't he see me earlier?

Acacia: Hm. How to explain a vampire...


Blake: Whee! I'm sneaking in the dark...sneaky, sneaky...got you Mama!

Acacia: Egads! I am bit!


Umbriel is finding a new gig while Oly works on robotics.

Oly: Gonna try not to asphyxiate myself on the fumes. Even if the high was fun last time, it ain't worth it.

Umbriel:...Uh yeah. I did build in that kill switch for my last client. Because people screw you over, simple as that!


Oly really likes spooky music.

Oly: But guys! They didn't just do the mash! They did the MONSTER-

Acacia: Yes, yes, I know. You've been saying this for the whole of fall. Also, it's just me now. Umbriel left like five minutes ago.


Clara: Girl. Did you fall in some mud or something? You smell of pure dirt.

Umbriel: Psh *pant* no, but when I *puff* jog, I go *wheeze* hard-

Clara: Oh, I can tell. Use more deodorant next time then!


Acacia's baby daddy came over.

Acacia: So. Are you going to be in our son's life? I've seen your super-run. We could use that protection.

Caleb: Christ not this again, Acacia-

Acacia: Not what? What kind of vampire are you anyway, wasn't that name blasphemy? Give me an answer.


Caleb: I mean I just wasn't ready to be a-

Acacia: OH tell that to the daughter you have with your wife!

Caleb: Well that's different! It's not like I had a choice.

Acacia: Holy SHIT how was I ever attracted to you?!


Another night, another ghost bothering the inhabitants of this house.

Felix Psyded: If there is a God...let me haunt a different area! This blanket is so ugly.

OMG get out and let Acacia sleep then.


Oly: Oh God was Acacia right? Are the ghosts in my dreams now?

He had a nightmare lmao.

Oly: No, shut up, I'm an adult...call it a premonition.


Umbriel: GodDAMMIT, gremlins again? Or is it one of those cranky old man ghosts? They really hate to see a woman succeed.

Ghosts, actually. The gremlins have quieted down somewhat.

Umbriel: Does that mean Acacia's sage-burning is working?


Acacia is trying to parent.

Acacia:...Can you play outside with Auntie Umbriel for a bit? This is a private activity-

Blake: Oooh but these are ghost puddles and I want-

Acacia: Dear me. You better step away in that case!


Umbriel: Hey, so happy Harvestfest.

Oly:...Is it bad I forgot it was today?

Umbriel: So did I! But anyway, I'm thankful you and Acacia are in my life.

Oly: For sure. You helped us out a lot, y'know-

Umbriel: Yes, I do know. I'm pretty great.


Oly: I'd never deny that, love you babe *smooch*.

Acacia: Guys, get a room-

Umbriel: Oh as IF you wouldn't be all over Marcus if he was here!


Gnome: I'm ready for a swim!

Oly: Uh yeah. Basic vision and physics tells me that this little rainstorm ain't gonna do it. Swim in this cold coffee that Umbriel forgot about.

Gnome:...Blessings will not come your way.

Oly: Well I'm not bringing you in the house for some sink-bath like you're my child...should I have a child?

Ask Umbriel.

Oly: Right.


Love this little family.

Blake: Mama you look like a princess!

Acacia:...Does that mean more people will be after me?

Umbriel: Oh don't take it seriously. He's just being a little charmer.

Oly: Awww yeah he really is...should we have a kid?


Umbriel:...Well I thought I'd try it. Always looked fun in films...I'm wet and cold.


Umbriel: Dude I'm trying to hack into the Road Rival Alpha alpha and leak it to the next Geekcon, go talk to Acacia or something.

Marcus: I mean she's pretty intense-

Umbriel: She's a massive romantic and believes in conspiracy theories, I've told you. You think you're in a hole? Get out of it yourself.


Umbriel didn't do great with her gnome.

Umbriel: Uh, hi, so either my housemate Acacia or her kid bought some toy and now it's on fire-

Gnome: I'll TOY with you, foul woman! You think me only a plaything?

Acacia:...I've never seen that thing in my life.

Umbriel: Wh - hey - no! I'll put you on hold next time!


Acacia: So. Shall we take things to the next level. I'll even share my discoveries. Sweep me off my feet!

Marcus: I don't lift weights for nothing girl.

Acacia: Ahhh...you could practically throw me over the threshold!

Marcus: In like, a brid- um - has Umbriel getting engaged given you ideas?

Acacia: No silly! I've always had my dreams! I just had to put them on hold to protect myself and my baby! But now that I have Blake and Oly and Umbriel...and you?


Acacia:...Well, you don't have to answer immediately. Wanna piece of this?

Marcus: Do I ever!

Acacia: Oh I wasn't asking you. I was practicing.

She rolled a whim to flirt with someone else lol.


This is the person.

Oly: -so I eventually want to design a quadcopter that can be flown with the MIND-

Cameron: Dude I don't care I'm here because your sister is hot.

Oly: I mean you're welcome to chat to her but she's pretty taken with - oh, hi Acacia.


Marcus: I'm still here.

Acacia: I'm aware.

Cameron: Hell no I'm not taking that flirt, no way do I want a fight with that guy!

Acacia: Boys, boys, please.

Oly: Don't look like that Marcus this is exactly what you deserve.


Acacia: Darling. I'm a romantic conspiracy theorist, not completely naive. You've never asked for exclusivity so don't look like that.

Marcus:...Fine. Maybe I like you more than I let on. And maybe I'm afraid of commitment!

Acacia: Woooow never heard of that one before!


Acacia:...Fuck it come here.

I don't understand them.


Acacia: Dammit I'm outside after dark! This is what you've done to me!

Marcus:...You got a curfew? Is it state-warranted-

Acacia: NO! But it makes it too easy to be found. Ugh, look. If you feel as strongly as I do, make the damn commitment. Or I'm cutting my losses and moving on. I have a kid and all, I can't waste my time.

Marcus: Fair, let's do it. Officiality.


Umbriel: Oh God everything's tingling and flashing, is this the end-

Halo gnome: DAMN dude that was intense.

Fire gnome: Never cross me!

Umbriel: I still don't know what I did.


Acacia: I expected a lot more fire and fighting when the defences were finally breached...why are they just staring like that?


Blake: Go Uncle Oly! Win at...Party Frenzy? How do you win at partying?

Oly: Yeah it doesn't quite gel but I'm going to kick Brant Hecking's ass. Y'know, we could use another little cheerleader around here, right?

You're from a legacy. This is also a legacy. So you will have a kid, don't worry about it.


Anyway it's the kid's birthday.

Acacia: What do you want for your birthday, Blake? Room redecoration?...A father figure in your life?

Oly: You barely dragged a commitment out of him, stop getting people's hopes up.

Blake: Oh don't worry! All I need is Mum and Uncle Oly and Auntie Umby!

Acacia: Haaaa she's gonna love that nickname.

Blake: I'll use it every day!


Umbriel put on some clothes.

Umbriel: For the last time you can't have cake for breakfast. Now eat your...fish? Why are you having fish?

Blake: *sigh* Mum made it. Says I need Omega-3s to grow up strong and defend myself against...them. Who are They?

Umbriel: Don't get me started kid.


Blake: Hey Mum what's the answer to - oh.

Acacia: *cough* Mum will be back in a second, sweetie.

Blake:...OK then. Have fun with Marcus. Is that gonna be my step-

Acacia: Shhh, we're not using the S-word yet.

Blake: Cool. Healthy. Hey, ring gnome, what's the answer to question 6 over here?


Acacia: Alright! Now that's we've celebrated our devotion and burned my brother's and Umbriel's bedsheets, I must bring something up. I know it's soon, but it's been on my mind.

Marcus:...You are a romantic after all.


Marcus: Oh God. Oh fuck. This is a lot.


Marcus: But if it'll keep you in my life, why not?

Acacia: That's not the answer I dreamed of, but it's one I like to hear!


Acacia: Hey Umbriel I'm ENGAGED!

Baako: Congrats, random lady, now-

Umbriel: I'm also engaged and you're goddamn married. Move your face, dude.


Marcus moved in obviously.

Acacia: Wow I didn't know I was dating a military man! How are those benefits then.

Marcus: Eh, I'm not super committed to it. Thought the jacket was cool, now I'm in too deep.


Oly: So...what do you say we give Blake a cousin? I bet we'll be kickass parents.

Umbriel: I want nothing more than to figure out to hold a toddler and controller in my lap at the same time.

Oly: That's so specific. Loving the goals being set here.

Umbriel: *giggle* It'll be fun making this happen, especially this next part...


Umbriel's pregnant!

Umbriel: Ah...what could go wrong? After all both Oly and I have such fine examples of - well, I guess Oly does. My own parents? Let's not bring that one up.


Oly: This is incredible! We're making a whole human! A whole human to...look after.  Clothe. Feed. Everything.

Umbriel: Don't be so dramatic, we've practiced on Blake. And honestly we can't do much worse than the majority of my forefathers.

Oly: You've told me about your family. That is not a high bar.

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