Mariska: Hey. Look. I'm best friends with the towel now, I only love towel.
Goldeen: Mum get out the bathroom!
Anika: Right Loud. One baby girl coming right up.
Loudred: It's too early to tell if-
Anika: One baby girl. And only one.
Loudred: Yeah, I know. I was a twin and that was a solid 3-star experience.
Anika: Yeah, Lati's alright, a little intense though, kinda crazy?
Loudred: Only I talk shit on my twin, dear.
Piplup: A clean and empty fridge is a clean life!
Raj:...Where did I go wrong?
Piplup: I'm not the one in charge of leftovers, Grandpa. Get cookin'!
Loudred: OK I need to...ooh, shiny!
Haunter: Get me out of this prison! How is this our father?
Piplup: Well I wasn't going to SAY it-
Anika: You mad? You mad bro? I'm CLEANING-
Raj: I don't care I literally just want to piss without having to walk up the stairs.
Goldeen: That's right, car, I am drawing you and you can drive well for once and - I need friends.
Good thing you're going to school today.
Goldeen:...Maybe I don't?
Her elderly parents are being lowkey cute in the kitchen. They've spent the last hour shooting ~looks at each other.
Mariska: And I'm gonna say hi to the spider, it's right under those chairs.
Raj: Ain't I lucky...
Raj: Seriously, isn't my wife hot?
Anika: I'm not gonna answer.
Raj: Good, there's no question about it.
Anika:...I wonder if Loud will say things like that about me in forty years.
Raj: Forty - how old do you think we are?
Mariska: Come on, calling you a weenie is not THAT bad.
Raj: Hmph! You weren't even alluding to a NICE sausage, it was in your eyes.
Mariska: But RAJ-
Haunter: Um. Breakfast? Cooks of the family? Anyone?
Mariska: Ugh. Men. Of course I'm the one taking care of this shit.
Well Raj is teaching your grandson how to potty.
Mariska: Fine, but what's his excuse?
Loudred: Aw come on Mum don't you feel the muuuusic?
Latias's old room is now a combined bathroom-laundry room.
Mariska: Ingenious, but ugh I don't want to bend over it's FAAAAR-
Loudred: Now, son, the most important thing when using the violin is to master your swaying movements. They're not spontaneous but they better look that way!
Haunter: Um. I don't care.
Goldeen: Damn Loudred when did you get political?
Loudred: Hm?
Goldeen: You're wearing the communist symbol?
Loudred: Oh, right, yeah. Da! What's political about that?
Piplup: I'll just wait for Mum to help me.
Goldeen: Well you can help me, Loud. I'm working on some music theory.
Mariska made a drink. Is she trying to send her unflirty husband a message?
(I'm awful, I know)
Toxi: GAAAH why am I here this family is stupid?
Mariska: So that's definitely not how you use a blowtorch.
Toxi: -yeah, so I thought living with Latias would be good somehow, but nooooo, all she does is PDA with that Sammy guy, like blah blah blah I'm in love-
Anika:...I see, you're mad about being single.
Raj: Directness, huh Mariska. She really is one of us lot.
Mariska: Ah, you get us Sutherlands. I know I married you for a reason.
Toxi: You really are one of the better people in this family. It's a low bar, but still.
Haunter:...Thank you?
Goldeen: Answer me this, parents. Was I a mistake?
Raj: That's not how we'd describe it-
Mariska: Consciousness was a mistake.
Raj: Not helpful, honey.
Ah, Pip. Cute kid who is also productive...he's so boring.
Piplup: Well at least somebody's cleaning around here.
The next morning everyone is still back on their bullshit though.
Raj: Sooo...need help with that thing.
Mariska: No, shut up.
Raj: Then I'll just daaaance the morning away!
Mariska: For the last time you are too old to do pelvic thrusts!
Anika: Just ONE morning, honestly...
Loudred's Level 8 in Violin now. Making great progress considering the heir isn't even here yet.
Loudred: I know, I'm doing good! Reaching new heights of violiny-ness. Why, I sway so much I almost touched my toes!
Anika: Ah. Another drink in the bath?
Raj: Right, cos you're so ill you HAD to be off work.
Haunter: Draaaama.
Anika:...I pretend I do not see the glass.
Raj: Yeah we're both messes.
Goldeen: Well well well look who's lagging behind me in grades. The smart one!
Piplup: I know someone did SOMETHING to my project!
Goldeen: Oh suuuure, very convenient. Who would do that?
Piplup: Maybe you, auntie, you have always been jealous.
Goldeen: Since when?!
Piplup: You ruined my dream journal!
Goldeen: I'm not quoting that crap!
Goldeen: This'll show you f-[bleeeeeep].
Raj:...Never mind that! Very good Piplup, you'll make up that blip in no time.
Piplup: Oh I will be back on top.
Goldeen: I want attention!
Meanwhile...
Loudred: Ooontz ooontz ooontz! Time to take it to the club boiiiii!
Fine you can have a party.
Goldeen made a couple friends at school. This is one of them.
Kasey: *sigh* My parents are pissing me off-
Raj: Yeah, I'm sure they mean well and all-
Kasey: Well, they'll be dead soon. As will you, dude.
Candy: I dunno what you're talking about this outfit is as perfect on me as ever!
Vicente:...I didn't say anything.
Zubat: But how come Loudred always forgets to invite my wife?
Jerrica: Tbh I think Haley or whatever is pretty forgetful.
Jerrica: Nice and cosy back here isn't it? Think of what we could get up to.
Loudred: Yes. It's a good space for one. I'm married, and I saw you hit on Zubat meaning you definitely don't have standards.
Later a Headliner showed up, so Loud got to do some dancing.
Vicente: That's all you got?
Loudred: Yeah...in my warm-up!
Arjun: So apparently the girl I kissed in high school is here. What's a spiteful song to make her feel jealous?
DJ: Hmm. Dry spell?
Toxi is having a baby with a guy who lost all his CC, good on ya girl.
Piplup: And ta-da - sparklers!
Loudred: It's 6am in the goddamn morning.
Piplup: What does AM mean, Dad?
Loudred: You're growing up to be a little smartass. I love it. Continuing the family tradition.
Piplup: You didn't answer me.
Raj: That cloud looks just like a perfect truffle!
Mariska: Specific, but yes. This is easier when the sky isn't full of city smog. Couldn't ask for a better retirement location...problem with your sweater?
Raj: Secret pocket.
Mariska:...Right.
Loudred actually parents I swear.
Loudred: Right. Ready for your keyboard practice?
Haunter: Error 404!
Loudred: Haha. I know that's only computers.
Haunter: Can I take a raincheck tho?
Raj: So. Pip got his B, where are you at, no pressure-
Goldeen: I goto it too. But didn't brag. Because that would be really sad wouldn't it nephew? Almost as sad as doing homework on a Friday night.
Piplup: Every day is a learning day.
Raj:...Seriously how did Loudred raise you?
Goldeen: Idk, he didn't.
Raj: GOLDEEN-
Anika: oh COOL finally, I understand enough about this maths to actually teach it!
Goldeen: Right that's how Pip turned out to be what he is-
Loudred: A huge nerd?
Anika: LOUDR - you are right.
Toxi: On the horizon I spy...another boy child in your family!
Loudred: That's not funny Toxi.
Loudred: Pop and lock it BABY-
Anika: Loudred please I could go into labour at any second-
Toxi: You're grading homework, just admit his moves are shit and he needs to do something else.
Anika: I would never say that.
Loudred: Cos it's not true, right?...Right?
Haunter: Ah I think I'll be the smart one in the family.
Piplup: Bish what.
Everybody meet baby girl Misdreavus, who will take the torch of the Elmira Clamp generation. But for now, she is simply a baby.
Misdreavus: Goo or something.
(I'll probably shorten the name at some point.)
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