Buckthorn: Wahoo! A toddler. I will wholeheartedly embrace raising her and never complain.
Bluebell: Hmm...yeah, I'm feelin' sceptical about this one.
Bluebell: Ah, the dolls. Lichen has bigged them up as his source of sanity.
Candice: Lol yeah that worked out so well didn't it.
Candice: See? I'm gonna teach you so many things.
Bluebell: O...K? Where's the flashcards?
Candice: Oh I don't need cards, it's all up here. *indicates head* You'll be talking in no time.
Bluebell: I already know how to talk, clearly.
Candice: Thought you were supposed to be the good one.
Lichen: Well...I've had a mildly inconvenient day and somebody said I smelled like seaweed. Guess I gotta go harass annoying Willow Creek housewives on gardening forums.
And then some other teen showed up. Not Lichen's friend.
Nicholas: As if I'd befriend that weirdo. It'll be nice to see that little sister of his-
Um. No thanks. Go away.
Hyacinth: -y'know it's quite easy not to look the fool. Just be part of the main family, it's that easy.
Ariella: *eye twitch* Oh sure I bet.
Hyacinth: Did I snatch your wig, literally? Maybe.
Ariella: You also took my wallet.
Lichen: -ugh and I guess I have to have one of these things too-
Bluebell: Wow thanks! Can you just feed me now?
Nicholas: HEY WHAT THE HELL I was just innocently in this nursery.
Lichen: Fuck off stranger and - get your crotch out of my face!
Nicholas: The pelvic thrust is the only defensive move I know.
Lichen: This isn't a fair fight then.
Buckthorn: There's a pest on my back.
Bluebell: Oooohhh just try and shake me off.
Lichen: I have protected you from the creep, little - ooh that shampoo smells good.
Bluebell: Um get away you need shampoo of your own.
Buckthorn: See, that's the problem with kids. Little ungrateful shits...
LICHEN SHOWER
Probably Lichen: *grumble* Seriously Bell get outta here it's 2am.
Bluebell: Heeeeeh
Angelic my ass.
Then she got mad, broke her own dollhouse and woke him up for real.
Bluebell: Get up and give me attention or I'll blame you for this!
Buckthorn: Sigh my son is a big asshole.
Lichen: What? I do my homework or you shower, not both. Besides we don't even have a table.
Buckthorn: Well I s'pose - wait what? Yes we do-
Lichen: Also I took care of your bratty accident child all night.
Buckthorn: Yeah, fair enough. I'll come back in a bit.
Candice: I've been with Buck about 20 years now...probably time to try out this gardening malarkey he's devoted half his life to.
Alos apparently she gained the flower arranging skill doing this. I don't have that pack?
Buckthorn wanted to meet someone new so I had him say hi to Daisy's wife, Debra. So technically his aunt.
Buckthorn: Damn can you not get up?
Debra: Quiet you, I've been training for decades - aaaah, ow-
Buckthorn: Did your back just crack?
Debra:...Please help me actually.
Buckthorn: Will do. Because I'm the bigger person. Let's make that clear.
This is cos Hyacinth died D:. RIP, I'll miss you and your evil uncaring ways. She leaves behind two kids, Melody and Max.
Buckthorn: *sniff* I'm just worried about Mum, she'll outlive all her siblings...
True, but...
Freesia, probably: Eh, I'll enjoy my beach house and eternally youthful husband, 's cool.
Lichen: As if this screen name has feelings...what do you mean I'm banned? Oh well, onto the next burner account.
He's now almost certain to age up into 'Insensitive'. I haven't played with a negative Parenthood trait before, as I finished the ISBI before that and all the controlled kids so far have been positive or neutral.
Buckthorn: Just so you know this isn't how I wanna spend my Thursday night.
Bluebell: Yeah, neither but here we are.
She's a solemn little kid.
Bluebell: Yes mother. Lift me into the sky.
Candice: I mean...I'm bringing you back inside, I feel like you shouldn't be out here.
Bluebell: Just take me away from this place. I'll simply die.
Holy shoulders. I wouldn't want to fight this girl.
Rania: Exactly. You wouldn't. But if you're unlucky I'll fight you.
Oh and Aspen's having a second baby. Joy.
Freesia: Yeah...
Aspen: Yeah >:).
Lichen: Just call me FOOW. Fish out of Water.
It's not just a rendering issue he's fully stuck this way.
Lichen: Help my legs are suffocating.
Bluebell: Wait shoot is that how it works? How do people go swimming then?
He's better now.
Candice: Something smells in here.
Lichen: Wow Mother, let's get the detectives in *snicker*.
Candice: Or you could clean out the damn fridge.
Buckthorn woke up in a great mood.
Buckthorn: My life is bullshit. I'm 47 and raising a baby again.. My flowers won't grow. Piss, moan, whine.
Fine, I didn't comply with the NAP. We have a bunch in savings so whatever. Why'd y'all bill the toddler though, that's what I wanna know.
Also damn how are they using that much water.? Maybe cos Candi and Lichen keep going for baths.
Candice: How dare you cost us money, Bluebell?
Bluebell: I didn't even do anything-
Candice: Well they sent you the invoice didn't they?
Bluebell: Look down here with me. Do you see any running water?
Buckthorn: No, but... the fine was addressed to you and it's not like the rest of us want to shoulder accountability.
Bluebell: This is BS.
Bluebell: Those cards are so faded I can't even see-
Buckthorn: Well figure it out, doesn't matter anyway.
Candice: *snore*
Bluebell: Seriously, BS.
Bluebell: Boi bye.
I love her.
After Bluebell went to sleep Buckthorn started on his project for the weekend -repealing an NAP.
Annalise: Boi please you think you're gonna take over my fishing club-
Buckthorn: I just said hi, what in the hell, and aren't we about the same age?
LP's little clone of a son got married. Didn't realise he grew up.
Also later that night one of Buckthorn's cousins died to cowplant.
Buckthorn: Serves her right for sneaking around my house. I mean come on, I got the only one in the neighbourhood!
Lichen: I'm just wondering, y'know...when WILL my life begin?
Slow down Ariel. 4 more days and I'll control your ass out of this house and into House 4.
Buckthorn finally got that last evolution so he did some grafting...and forgot about Bluebell.
Bluebell: Meeeeh, my own stink fumes and sugar high, what a Saturday.
Lichen: I might be an unrepentant dickhead but I'm a better guardian than our fool of a father, sister.
Buckthorn: Nonsense, I am the best at arms-length toddler baths! Lichen would sooner hold you under.
Lichen: Only for two seconds as a little joke-
Bluebell: I want Mum.
This is what Candice actually does best.
Candice: Exactly, shut up, I'm about to beat these pensioners at Party Frenzy.
And Lichen spent the whole morning wailing on his stuffed dog.
Lichen: I wanted the cat dammit!
Theyr'e not always apart. Here's the family in the same room for once.
Lichen:...Thanks, I hate it.
Candice: These walls are really a horrible colour Buckthorn-
Buckthorn: Hey nothing wrong with good old discount stucco. I mean if you want a project, you can-
Candice: Ugh, God no. I can't even be bothered to get out of my pyjamas.
Bluebell: I wanna grow up different than y'all.
Lichen: Smart move, kid. Like, I'm not them but I kinda suck ya know.
This is Candice's little half-sister.
Buckthorn: Hi, good to meet you, I'm Candice's husband and I know a lot about teenagers. Friend problems? Boy problems? Or girl, I'm not-
Karlee:...I'm just missing my dad a lot today. I wish he'd been younger and able to see me through more of life-
Buckthorn: Haha woooow that was way deeper than I prepared for. Wanna sign my petition?
He cheered her up and then she got weird. By which I mean FLIRTY.
Buckthorn: Um, no, don't look at me like that. I'm married to our sister and you're still in school. Nope.
Aspen came to visit also.
Aspen: Much younger sisters of stupid much-older siblings unite! Would have called Candice a man but dem titties.
Karlee:...Weird thing to mention.
Oh you cannot talk.
And Lichen is having his own fun.
Lichen: Stupid Aunt Karlee for taking up the only computer! And stupid pink triceratops. Dinosaurs aren't PINK it's scientifically inaccurate!
Of all the people he's asked, Buckthorn has the highest relationship with Aspen. And yet...
Aspen: Fuck no still. Have you met me, brother? You think I want LESS violence in your neighbourhood?Please, why do you think I visit so much? I beat someone up in the grocery store parking lot before I came here.
Pania: Wow, a random stranger at 10pm on the waterfront. This seems safe and sane.
Buckthorn: About as safe and sane as that eyeshadow. Doesn't it get in your eyes?
Pania: Oh very funny. ...I lost a bet.
Pania: Oh snap this is a bad neighbourhood I better get in shape.
Candice: Fuck this I'm going to bed.
Buckthorn: SIGH! MY! PETITION!
LP: IT WOULD! BE! FRAUD!
Anyway, both of Hyacinth's children conceived their own.
Melody: I told you I'd get on it once she died. She was a bad enough mother, no way would I let her be a grandma.
Max: Well the silver roots actually worked on this girl so Mum was kind of a mad genius.
Side note: This girl is married lmao. Draaaama.
Oh and Candice's stepmother married another old fuckin man.
Lichen: See, I'm maturing. Aren't you proud, tiny robot?
Robot: Bleep bloop, it's just polite conversation.
Lichen: Seriously I'm holding back so many insults.
He's not using a troll interaction. He is simply chatting. I'm so proud.
Bluebell: Yeah. Smells, doesn't it.
Lichen: I'm gonna throw up.
Buckthorn: Wait I could have had him do this the whole time? What have I done all this crap for?
Bluebell: Heheh, crap, get it-
Lichen: All too well!
OK I don't know what switched in his brain, this is uncharacteristic to say the least.
Bluebell: Yay for affection freely given.
Lichen: You're small and cute and the closest I have to a cat.
Buckthorn: It's a trap. Soon she'll be coming over to your drifter house, rubbing her youngness in her face and not signing totally legit petitions.
Lichen: Karlee....is this the girl the Watcher wants me to marry, or my aunt?
Karlee: I'm your aunt. Although if I wasn't, I still wouldn't do the other thing. Is your dad home?
Lichen: I'm gonna say yes >:)
Lichen: *SQUAWK* you I'm a damn mermaid, get fins before you look at me peasant.
Candice: Stop that clown shit and do your homework already. Your father wants you to get an A.
And then we had a lil Sunday outing.
Eliana: Good to see you Buckthorn! How's Lichen doing?
Buckthorn: He's on track for an A and definitely has normal hobbies.
Eliana: Sounds fine. Who's the girl?
Buckthorn: My sister-in-law. She's pretty bland as a person but she keeps trying to hang with us sorry lot, so I felt bad and invited her.
Candice: Welp. Here's the girl. Gotta go, I'm late for my excuse.
Lichen: I swear the bin was like that when I found it.
Maricela: Yeah, sure dude.. Me and Rusty kick it over all the time. Sometimes we have competitions.
They're both Hot-Headed teens so I assume this is what happens.
Maricela got flirty which is a good sign.
Maricela: I'd take a piece of either of 'em, honestly.
Ashton: Damn kids. Why do y'all like this family so much anyway?
Maricela: I mean they're kinda smokeshows, you know.
Karlee: Wait, am I included in this? Does that make me cool?
Lichen: Haha sure. Anyway Maricela, do you punch stuffed animals?
Maricela: All. The Time.
Rusty: It's like, no-one even thinks of me when it comes to our families joining! Not only is it heteronormative, it's just hurtful.
Buckthorn: Hey, trust me. It's gonna be OK. I've met my son. You don't want him.
Buckthorn: So things are going-
Nalani: Yeah, great. Alliance and our families being joined and all of that. Just don't hit on me again, kay?
Buckthorn: Wouldn't dream of it...your granddaughter can't cook for shit, huh?
Maricela: I'll spatula your head, I am a FOODIE-
Nalani: Oh what and that matters, huh?
Lichen: Wow those eggs look...like eggs and they smell...kinda burnt?
Maricela: Well yeah you insufferable little whatsits because there's no PLATES! RUSTY! Do the dishes next time!
Lichen: What a woman. Maybe I don't mind being married off.
Hmmm yeah. My mind is made up methinks. Unless as YAs they suddenly despise each other (i.e. Maricela getting the Good trait or something), then this is the Gen 4 couple. Aren't they lovely.
HAAAAHAHAHA
LP: One down, one more to-
Jolene: Two actually. You can't wrap it for shit.
Oh how strange and awkward. Anyway, congrats guys.
Buckthorn: Nononono. This isn't my future. I'm suddenly scared.
Idk dude it's up to story prog once Lichen grows up.
THE SAME NIGHT. Neighbourhood Stories, you bitch.
RIP Pierre. I'm sure LP really will miss you.
LP: YES. I WILL. He was the only kid who wasn't annoying by virtue of AGE!
And also Acorn died. He leaves behind three children and one grandchild, with another on the way I think. While the least interesting of Gen 2, I will miss him.
At least it was old age.
Lichen: Still not trolling. Maricela and Rusty recommended some art blogs.
Attaboy.
Due to all the death Buckthorn is having a moment in the shower.
Buckthorn: *sobs obnoxiously* Death is everywhereeeee
Yay! That's the last thing apart from Freelance Botanist, buttt I don't think that'll happen cos we need 4 more excellent plants.
LP came to visit. I let Buckthorn stop what he was doing and speak to his brother.
LP: My poor son. We had so many good times after he turned 16. He was excited to be a father, you know. I guess I'll have to be excited for the both of us...
Bluebell: Really looks like you've had enough cake, Dad.
Buckthorn:...You know you don't have to shame me, it's a difficult time for this family.
Bluebell: Fine. I'm just telling you out of the goodness of my heart.
She rolled the good trait. Lolllll.
Bluebell: I don't know why you're laughing.
Candice: Damn, LP. It can really all go so quickly. Maybe I should leave the couch and bond with my children.
LP:...You're not really going to are you.
Candice: Probably not. I never took life advice from you, y'know.
LP: Aw come on, grief has made me wise!
What the FUCK Aspen of all the things to talk about.
Aspen: What? Him being dead doesn't change the fact that he was in loads of credit card debt and almost hooked up with my ex.
Candice: Son I heard you're feeling distant from this family. I'd like to help with that.
Lichen:...Go on.
Candice: What do you call a loud victory? A megaPWN.
Lichen: I await the blank field. And I still hate this fucking family.
Of course Bluebell got a makeover, but she\'s still in pyjamas.
Bluebell: Hush little bear. I'll make it all better. I'll give such strong medicine...
Bluebell: Now what damage could I really do with Lichen's old chemistry experiments and Dad's garden? I'm just a lil girl!
Buckthorn: Well. Our nephew is dead, our children are twisted, we're getting old and I definitely got fat. Bluebell was right. Wanna do it?
Candice: I mean it's the only way I'll tolerate burning calories.
Buckthorn: Lol same. Fitness is for chumps.
Candice: You were just moaning that-
Buckthorn: CHUMPS
Also Buckthorn actually managed the Botanist aspiration around here. Apparently all the plants decided they wanted to evolve.
Anyway that's all the House 3 goals done, both optional and mandatory. He maxed fishing, gardening, completed both corresponding aspirations, maxed Juice Fizzing and the part-time fishing career, plus got the 5 cowplant essences. Woo!
Bluebell took up her older brother's old spot.
Bluebell: OK let's solve - OW, ROBOT, WHY
Robot: Not another one of these damn kids, leave me alone!
Lichen: Ah crap! Banned again? Come on, I'm trying to change here.
Aspen had her second child.
Aspen: The name is ironic. I'll never feel this way for anyone.
Ooook. Anyway, Cherish is Freesia's seventh grandchild (counting LP's kids) and also blue.
Buckthorn maxed cooking this morning. He didn't even need to but he was so close that i just made him do it.
Anyway now he is truly free.
He wanted to meet someone it turns out.
Buckthorn: -you know Nalani, right? She's like my aunt, except once I really pissed off my wife by flirting with her.
Buckthorn: Uh...hi again, Karlee.
Karlee: You don't mind I'm here, do you? I'm sorry but I graduated high school and have been aimless ever since.
Buckthorn: Fair enough, we don't all get a new far-flung field. But maybe that's luck. Then you don't need kids-
Karlee: Regretting your life?
Buckthorn: Could you tell? I love your sister, but God, what if it was just me and her alone?
These two really are such lookalikes.
Freesia: 'Cept I work out, son.
Bucktborn: Y'know when did we all decide that was acceptable to make fun-
Freesia: Oh, I'm kidding, whatever makes you happy. Anyway, heard it's about Lichen's time to drift.
Buckthorn: The freedom from Watcher control. Lord, I can taste it.
Candice: Buckthorn please talk to her. She smells.
Buckthorn : Dunno what you're on about, all I smell is good ol' mermaid - that might be it.
Bluebell: It's not my FAULT Lichen's been angsting it out in the bathroom for ages!
Lichen's music in the bathroom, probably: *wake me up WAKE ME UP INSIDE*
Lichen had a friend over. They're not getting on that well.
Buckthorn: Cool. You're...gonna sleep there. Right in my good chair. Eh, well my wife does this, don't wanna be a hypocrite.
And another simultaneous pregnancy for a parent and child. Seriously do they do it on purpose. Anyway, congrats to Candice's family.
Bluebell: So. Last twelve hours of creature comforts, huh brother?
Lichen: Ugh do not remind me, I still hate you but I love running water more.
Bluebell: Aww, how touching.
Bleubell: Don't worry though I'll send you loads of pictures of the house-
Lichen: Very helpful.
Bluebell: What am I supposed to do? I'm six!
Lichen: Cos to me it seems like you plan to rub it in my face.
Bluebell: I'm trying to help you and-
Lichen: You are so full of shit. I'm not buying any of this....and I like it. Develop your deviousness. Do it more.
They have a good pre-school ritual going.
Lichen: TURN. INTO. A CAT.
Bluebell: OK, let's simulate another outcome of this interaction...it'll be very telling. I'm gonna get so good at being good.
Buckthorn: So. Auntie Nalani. How are you doing?
Nalani: Inches away from death, dear. But don't worry. I trust my wishes will be carried out, as long as the kids get on.
Candice:...You know I always thought you guys were joking. We're really marrying the boy off?
Nalani: Well more just nudging him in one of the twins' direction if you know what I mean.
Buckthorn: By the way, no thanks to you, I got that roughhousing ordinance lifted. Petitions work.
Aspen: Mhm, and now I don't haul ass to see you. That and I had a very difficult pregnancy.
Fredrick: You could stop getting knocked up by random guys. Maybe even move out.
Aspen: Ha. Move out. HAHAHA.
Fredrick: Seriously Buckthorn why don't you take her?
Buckthorn: See, heh, I'm really busy with my, uh, reason-
Brendan: Granny, you won't actually make me and Mum move, right? I really like it on the island and Mum helps you out of the water when your tail falls asleep-
Freesia: Of course not sweetie. Now, I say this with love, I raised the boy - but I would never subject you to Uncle Buck.
Bluebell: You better shower. It'll be your last for quite a while.
Lichen: My God shut up, I will punt you across the lot!
Bluebell: Yeah sure. You don't have the guts. Or the core strength.
Or the OPPORTUNITY.
Time to go boi. Drift onwards!
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