Raj: Ah...peace and quiet in the kitchen at last! No more Mother grousing and griping at everything I do.
After this I made him over a little.
Raj is having a lot of fun at the curry stand.
Tomax: motherFUCKER even my spells ain't this strong.
Raj: Lol. Wait, lemme get a match.
Mortimer: RIP to him but I'm different.
Raj: Sure Jan.
Raj: She's here but she's not looking! Oh things really have changed-
Geeta: You're not a damn circus performer, stop throwing knives around. You'll hurt yourself.
Raj: Spoke too soon!
Mariska's home and unhappy about it.
Mariska: No no, home is fine. My coworkers are all just assholes and I'm kind of in the mood for SOMETHING RAJ, you unflirty-
He's in the bedroom, just eat your curry and go.
Raj: I dream of her lips...
i.e. I FINALLY saw him throw out a whim for Miss Mariska. I was starting to wonder if he actually doesn't like her.
Raj: I like her plenty I just...I'm just very bad at expressing it.
Mariska: How unflirty are you feeling now then?
Raj: Uh...a bit I guess.
Mariska: *sigh* OK. Let's try this again. You're about to NOT feel unflirty if you meet me in the shower.
Raj: Will we both fit under the head?
Mariska: You're lucky I like you.
Raj: OHHH I get it it's not about actually cleaning oneself at all.
Mariska: Uh, yeah, duh-
Raj: But I will have to wash my hair after we finish the - ahem - it's a bit greasy-
Mariska: I'll steer clear of your head then, stop killing the mood.
Mariska: I DON'T TRUST YOU-
Mariska: OK, so he's learning. Mhm. Yeah. I'm gonna marry him - wait what?
Somebody's rolled that Propose whim, let's goooo.
Mariska: This might not be the proposal of my dreams but you're kind of the man of my dreams - seriously we were in a weird one involving two ducks, a whisk and a ski slope last night - so whaddya say we do it?
Raj: Oh wow, Mariska, I never imagined you'd be-
Mariska: Of course I'd be, with all the charge you've previously taken of this relationship.
Raj: Fair enough.
Raj: And it's a yes! Obviously! You're the girl of my dreams - like down to the tee. Except for the blue skin part. Lovely but not what I imagined.
Mariska: Baby I'm never what's imagined. I'm better.
Raj: You're the best.
Mariska: FUCK why can't you do this bit of my stupid goals?
Raj: Lol white people...blue people.
Mariska: Raj SHUT UP I've already heard that! You're not original!
Here they are, our happy couple.
Mariska: Heeeh I can get behind this part of my job.
No can do, you represent Chef Gino not Bartender Gino. You'll be promoted out of mixology soon.
Mariska: You never let me do anything fun.
Raj is a slob. Which means that counter gets dirty EVERY TIME.
Raj: Not every time...just like half the time. Anyway I saw nothing I'm not doing it.
Mariska: Uhm...I'm hearing way more than I want to.
Fuck's sake Bheedas.
The next morning...
Mariska: Hey. Hey look over here. I'm gonna pull off so many bar tricks.
Raj: Please don't break my nice glasses...
Mariska: Please. All glasses are functionally the same.
Mariska: I broke...one and a half.
Raj: Mariska-
Mariska: Kiss and make up, your unflirtiness?
(They did)
Mariska: *cough cough* Ugh...Raj why are you cheering?
Raj: Whooo! At least you'll get COVID immunity!
Mariska: We don't have that here don't break the fourth wall!
Jesminder: Aren't you quite close to me?
Mariska: *intently listening, that's her man*
Raj: Nope, walked too fast is all. You're a slow walker, married and a parent, and my beautiful fiance is just inside.
Mariska: Present. Hello there Jesminder. From what I heard last night your sex life is going well, stay away from mine.
Kayaan: Heard you moved in with another tenant of mine.
Raj: Texting me doesn't hide you still creeping on Mariska. Aren't you married, man?
Jesminder: What is this? Your idea of a girl's day? Seriously, I know you've made about two friends, the Rasoyas and that's it.
Mariska: Bitch no I'd be happy to come here alone you just happened to be in my apartment and I didn't want you touching my shit.
Jesminder: Like I'd want something in your apartment.
Mariska: Fair enough, only worthy things is my kitchen setup and my ass.
Jesminder: As if. ASS if.
Mariska: Stupid Jesminder. I only came here for this Vietnamese food. Now I know my ass is fine, right vendor lady?
Yuka: Stop talking nonsense and step away from my stall. I haven't even seen your backside.
Bjorn: Hm. Flat.
Mariska: Seriously why would you even comment on it?
Yuka: *snicker*
Atharv: Hey girl moonwalk to my stall someday. Not that your face ain't pretty.
Mariska: YES!...Now get out my sight I have a fiance.
The drinks Mariska made today are lined up all nicely and it's satisfying.
Raj: Isn't it? Almost as satisfying as my promotion cough cough.
Yes of course.
Funny thing is, man's work hours went from 12-5pm to 8pm-2am. So he's got work again in like two hours.
Raj: Double shifts are to be expected I suppose...
Kayaan: Just you this time handsome. Only you.
Raj: What part about my fiance don't you understand?
Later...
Raj: Literally it's like 2am.
Mariska: OMG what is that horrible smell? It invades my nostrils.
Raj: We served some weird cheese tonight. I've been smelling it the whole time.
Mariska: Yikes! I'll feel bad for you once you take a damn shower!
Raj: Push that to the morning. I'm so tired.
Mariska: You are NOT getting in our bed smelling like that good sir!
Mariska: UGH I'm tense as hell and why DID YOU GET IN THAT BED, RAJ?
Raj: I didn't I showered! You're remembering wrong!
Mariska: So now I'm just wrong? You swine! You utter CRAB! How could you?
Raj: What is happening?
You were warned my dude.
He did yell back at her.
Mariska: How dare you be so rude?
Raj: But you do look like an alien.
Mariska: I'll show alien. I'll show you everything.
Raj: And I'll get the damn handcuffs.
Mariska: I'm still mad at y-ahahahaha!
Raj: I know you've got that Grudge sentiment and I'mma tickle it away.
Mariska: Stoooop!
Raj: What if I...sing it away!
Mariska: Holy shit you sound terrible! And that's not the Grudge talking. Clearly I am over it though it remains in my panel.
*coughs in the direction of Maxis*
Mariska: Yes that's my fiance beside me...no he's not talking about a party, we're both sick. Well anyway, he's being sarcastic, right baby?
Raj: Uh yeah I'm hella ill.
Arun: Are you quite alright to be hosting, Mariska?
Mariska: I'll be right as rain once I chug all this cold medicine, give me a second and stay 2 metres away!
Arun: None of this seems safe.
Geeta's making herself at home. That drink was not made by or for her.
Geeta: Oh look Raj you're cleaning your worktop. Isn't that a curious thing. Twenty years I spent telling you to clean and the second you get a girlfriend-
Raj: Mother please.
Mariska: Hello again Jesminder. You've been proved wrong by many people. My ass is class. Raj can attest to that, he got it good this morning.
Jesminder: GOD WHY Mariska I didn't need to hear that. Seriously, I already heard it all through those super thin walls!
Raj:...I suddenly never want to have sex again.
Mariska: Then that makes us even, doesn't it Jesminder?
Mariska: Now which is hotter-
Raj: You, over everything, but move out the way I wanna get this lamb right. Seriously stop, it's getting sad.
Mariska: Yep. For the third time, still pretty sure that's wine.
Jesminder: Riiight...
Raj: OH Mariska you're just the most wonderful.
Jesminder: Mhm. Sure. And how happy are you with your seat, dear husband?
Arun: Don't bring me into this.
Geeta: At least she's pretty.
Arun: Oh definitely is that even a question?
Jesminder: ARUN
Geeta: Now let's see if you got texture and flavour profile correct here, Raj. This is a very difficult dish and to be honest I was convinced you lacked the skill!
Raj: Mother-
Mariska: Aw snap Norman Bates!
Arun: Lol that's kind of correct.
Raj: Thank you very much to everyone but the two of you.
Jesminder: They're like your only friends dude, just saying.
Mariska: So I bought this arch. Wanna use it?
Raj: 100%. Marrying you with my mother and our weird neighbours present! A dream.
Mariska: Mainly the marrying me part tho, right?
Raj: Obviously.
Mariska: You're seriously the man of my dreams-
Raj: I know, I star in your cheese-induced fever fantasies-
Mariska: I mean it in the figurative sense this time. You're sweet and you get me. We just click.
And there we have it! Officially married. I've been shipping these two since the second time they met so...
Ra: I no longer feel unflirty.
Raj: I definitely don't feel unflirty now!
Mariska: Wedding night anyone...first let's get these assholes out of our house.
Raj: They heard you, dear.
Mariska: Do I look like I give a fuck?
Mariska: Yay! Baby time!
Yes indeed. I don't know why you changed out of your nightgown to go to the bathroom but you do you.
Mariska: Gotta look my best for the good news right?
Raj: Oh God oh God I"m so happy but what if I'm a bad father?
Mariska: Meh. You won't be. You'll be better than my parents anyway.
Mariska: Raj you don't have to do this, I'm not that pregnant.
Raj: Nonsense. You will be treated like a queen every second!
Mariska: That's sweet, but you know full well I work in a restaurant and they do NOT treat me royally!
Mariska why are you back in the nightdress?
Raj: You can't stab the soup into submission honey.
Mariska: Shut up I have both hormones and my regular crazy right now, it'll be you next.
Raj: Hahaha...understood.
Mariska *gag* Ugh would serve him right if I threw up on the counters...
I mean he's writing a cookbook, you're using the kitchen so...no? Why you mad anyway?
Mariska: Because I feel bad and SOMEONE'S got to suffer!
Mariska: This meatball is the harbinger of my dreams.
It's true, with this meatball she completed the third tier of her aspiration.
Enele: Fresh Japanese cuisine available now! Including my extra-special poisonfish - pufferfish roulette nigiri!
..Does this count as a recipe? I'm not sure. I don't want Mariska to die! Maybe I can have her eat it while pregnant?
Mariska: That seems safe.
Anyway she got the five recipes and carted them home as leftovers.
Arun: Who is she talking to?
Mariska: What's that? You do want one of my original drink recipes? Well, more like I just throw random liquids in the shaker and voila. Magic.
Arun: That's not how drink making works at all.
Mariska: Why yes that naysayer IS impaled in my front door and should shut up. Funny that.
Arun: What's the news then? You finally figured out how fake that fruit is?
Mariska: No jackass. I'm pregnant.
Arun:...Why?? Why would you do that?
Mariska: You're a parent too. Plus I need kids and Raj's life goal is to raise some, so why not?
Arun: I'm a father so I know what I'm talking about. Get ready for no sleep and constant screaming!
Raj is still writing his cookbook. It's called 'Over-Easy: Breakfast recipes' or something like that.
Raj: More egg dishes! So many egg dishes!
For like the second time this week the Bheedas started to have incredibly loud sex. Luckily Marajka were at work.
Mariska: Ugh how do I smell like this?
Raj: See anybody can come back smelling. and you will not be getting in the bed.
Mariska: But I'm pregnant!
Mariska: Ugh I'm huge. I've only just hit the second trimester, why am I so huge?
Raj: :) I suppose that means the legend could be true...
Mariska: Goddammit Raj. What legend?
Raj: Well...this apartment is said to lie on a special ley line that increases fertility. Meaning...twins.
Mariska: No. NO. Don't say that. I was a twin myself and I know EXACTLY how hard it was for our parents to raise us. Which is part of the reason they didn't, really.
Mariska: Hey wanna burn off some tension in our lovely shower?
Raj: Are you sure it's safe for-?
Mariska: Please. It's a baby, not a china doll. It's completely fine.
Raj: Babies are delicate. And twins are often smaller than-
Mariska: Don't say the T-word or I'll grab you by the-
Mariska: So Raj believes in some silly line here which means I'm having twins. Crazy right?!
Arun: No he's got a point. That's why Jes and I took the apartment next to this one. Imagine having two babies at once.
RajL Um. Arun. Why are you making eyes at us like that.
Mariska: Aw sweetie...the eyes are for me!
Arun: She does have the cuter pyjamas, dude.
What the fuck Arun. Go home to your wife.
Arun: So if you weren't married, and I wasn't married...hell, I was thinking about going for it the day you moved in.
Mariska: Um, what.
Mariska: But by golly I like this attention.
What the SHIT you two? Raj goes on a jog and you do this?!
Raj: Arun's still here? I thought you would've kicked him out after that creepy comment?
Mariska: He is? I didn't notice. I've just been making drinks.
Raj: OK then. I'll do it. Arun. That was creepy. How about you leave?
Geeta: You got her pregnant then son? Did it...ahem...happen here? Cos there's this ley line-
Raj: Yes, we're having twins!
Arun: That's actually not confirmed.
Geeta: Why is your weird neighbour over here making eyes at your wife, Raj? Be a man.
Geetea: I see a drink, I go for it! I'm a simple woman.
Mariska: Yeah maybe you've got a problem, Geeta.
Geeta: I'm not the one prancing about in my underthings in front of male company. Lone male company from what my Raj said.
Mariska: Oh come off it, it's basically like a dress!
Geeta: A dress showing most of your tits.
Mariska: GEETA! Get out! I just saw your whole tits!
Geeta: You're the one that followed me in here weirdo.
Mariska: Why would you have a BATH at my apartment?
Mariska: The clawwww...would be my drink receptacle were I permitted to imbibe. Stupid baby.
Raj, in the other room: TWINS!
Raj: So we love each other, right?
Mariska: Of course sweetie.
Raj:...But did you WANT Arun Bheeda to stare at you like that or-?
Mariska: OK. In the interests of honesty, yes. But it doesn't mean anything. I just like attention.
The next morning...
Raj: So about our conversation last night-
Mariska: Past is past, I've forgotten.
Raj: It's not yours to forget! Look I know I'm working a lot but if you ever feel neglected, don't get attention from somebody else-
Mariska: You're very doting. Very sweet. And I love you. You give me enough attention. I just want it from other people sometimes cos I'm dysfunctional.
Mariska: You could electrocute yourself doing that. As in, it's looking very likely.
Raj: Uh..thanks for the confidence, dear.
Mariska: No problem! And I do hope you don't fry yourself!
Raj:...It's not fair. I wanted her to meet them.
Poor Raj's mother just died. Bit of a shame, I was starting to enjoy having Geeta come round.
Arun: Why hello neighbours.
Mariska: Don't greet me! I can't have your attention, I promised my husband.
Arun: Don't worry about that! Never will I compliment your exquisite - I mean, let's just be cool friends. Good day for the Sutherland-Rasoyas?
Mariska: Raj's mum just died so...no.
Mariska:-So the robots have taken over nearly everything! They threaten an extinction! But then they're introduced to the wonders of food by a cute blue chef who's NOT having twins!
Arun: Sounds like a great idea for a novel-
Mariska: Except the food gums up their wiring and they all die. See? Twist ending!
Raj: There's a reason I'm the one that's published.
Mariska: What was that?!
Raj Nothing dear.
Raj: Soooo...
Arun: Right. Fine! I'm sorry I flirted with your wife while you were out jogging-
Raj: You what? I was actually gonna talk about my mother's death, lots of feelings...
Arun: Forget what I said!
Mariska: Nothing really happened with Arun. He was just messing about. You're the one I want.
Raj: OK, but...
Mariska: He's our friend! No reason to end that. Hell, my mum was friends with some vampire for years after she rejected her advances! And even after he hit on my sister!
Raj: Your family's really messed up 'Riska.
Mariska: Yeah. Lucky for you it's just me in this version of the world.
Mariska: Stupid four-footed baby kicking my bladder and uterus...
Raj: Twinzzzz...
Like a few hours later...
Mariska: RAAAJJJJ the baby's coming!
Raj: Five more twinutes...
Mariska: That's not funny take me to the hospital!
Raj was obviously right. They had twins. The boy is Loudred and the girl is Latias. Yes, they're named after Pokemon. That's our naming theme for this challenge.
Anyway this means no blue skin for the next generation. I'm using Traditional-Strict Equality-Eldest for succession rules, meaning that the eldest boy takes over for the next generation and we alternate genders for the whole challenge.
Loudred: So you crapped yourself cos you were born a spare?
Latias: Shut up just HELP ME.
Raj: I finally have the children I've always wanted! It's just amazing. And two of them too!
Mariska: You say I told you so and I'll kick you. As for you, go back to sleep you whiny brat.
Latias: Well I feel unloved.
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