I swear if this kid is a PG match I'm gonna be so mad lmao.
Phobos: Bet it will be! That's us babe, getting it on the first round and sticking it to-
Mckenzie: Phobos whatever, I just gave birth!
Umbriel: Now, little sister, hear me proclaim! For I will crack the quantum mysteries of the universe or die trying!...What was it you were saying?
Ursa:...I'm good to get my own food, actually.
Girl c'mon.
Ursa: What? I don't want the prison. What, is that CAT gonna get me out?
Grimm: Haters gonna hate but I got the payload. Mush!
Mariko: Yay! Come on, Ursa, use that potty!
Ursa: I'm basically behind you, what the-
Mariko: See? I can rear children too.
Ursa: Who are you talking to?
Mariko: Give me a RAISE!
Ursa: Ahhhh.
Calypso: That's IT I'm starting a goddamn rebellion!
Ursa: See, Miss Doll? That's what an earthquake is. Now look upon the destruction of your home!
These kids are so messed uppppp
Umbriel: Grandma just left. Mum finishes work at 5...oh my God I have to watch them. Here I was hoping to get a start on my rocket project!
At least she's got a B now.
Umbriel: B stands for 'Bad' in my book.
My little nerd. Honestly she's the best child right now, in that she actually is happy sometimes.
Umbriel: Meh.
Tethys got promoted to ESport Gamer.
Tethys: So no more programming...but it's gonna be a while before I get behind that desk again! I'm HUGE.
Not for long.
Calypso: So anyway I was like BANG! CRASH! The dollhouse falls! I'm telling you, things need to change around here.
Umbriel: Am I the only kid who begs to be left alone with her homework rather than not do it?
Calypso: AHEM my story
This is the first time she's been happy in two days, and my new skinblend makes her look deranged.
Deanna: Sweet fresh blood...I crave it.
Mariko: This wasn't in my contract.
Deanna: I care not for contracts, I have my fangs, darling.
Ursa: Seriously Cat? That food smells like rotten eggs.
Grimm: It is rotten eggs but a guy gotta eat.
Ursa: Told you. A menace.
Grimm: So what's a guy gotta do to get some headpats around here?
Deanna: Uh...there there *taps with elbow*
Ursa: Ugh I'd rather lick the floor.
Grimm: Do it then. I dare you. You gave yourself two options, kiddo.
Ursa: Uncle Rigel, how do you put a cat up for adoption?
Rigel: I want no part in this. Your mother can be scary. Trust me, I grew up with the woman.
Ursa:...Coward.
Tethys: Holy SHIT you're correct!
Baby: I haven't even had time to do anything wrong.
This is a good start! This baby boy is Antares. I hope to God he's our heir.
Then Teth ran out to relax in the pool.
Antares: No wait come baaaaack!
Mariko: Can't, looking at shiny :)
The blood drainings may be having an effect.
Deanna: I guide others to a treasure I cannot possess...
Good, now bake a cake or something :)
Deanna: Grow up now, be self-sufficient. I'm sick of raising y'all.
Calypso: Happy birthday to you too, grandma.
Deanna: Oh, darling. I haven't had one of those in many a year...
Calypso: So. This BABY with his pale blue Mum-like skin thinks he can take my spot? We'll see about that, Antares.
Anyway she's a Whiz Kid, Self-Assured, and mostly a Teth faceclone. I think her mouth and cheeks are a bit different?
Grimm: Uwu is Miss Tethys up yet? I think her baby wants her.
Deanna: Yeah well what's new?
Grimm: Well it is 5am.
Tethys: Hehe yeeeaahhh that's a good fruit salad.
Umbriel: Good God why.
Tethys: Do you wanna eat or shall I yeet...sorry I'm sleep-deprived.
Umbriel: Me too. Think I enjoyed Calypso thundering into my room complaining about the baby at 2am?
Tethys: Ah, they grow up so fast.
Tethys: Wow Grandma, homework on a Saturday? Nerd.
Umbriel: I prefer a more practical approach. I'm doing some velocity observation with my own body.
Calypso: Monkey bars then? Cool. I'm gonna actually train my brain. Grandma, you up for three games of chess?
Deanna: Hell no. Do I look like your mother?
Rigel: Now I came for some chess...but an abandoned baby in the middle of the room? Ah, definitely the right house.
Mariko: I miss your majestic hair, Rigel :(
Rigel: You're a weird woman, Mariko.
I recently did a fat clearout of hairs without the new swatches so that's probs it. He gets a new one later dw.
Tethys is doing some livestreaming.
Tethys: Welcome back gamers and OH, FUCK, that was a mistake - hey, enough with the sexist comments in chat. It was one mistake!
Calypso: So. You've returned to challenge me, old man.
Rigel: I mean you asked me to after your 'potty break' but-
Calypso: Shhh. I'm doing a thing. Ready to lose again?
Rigel: I put you in checkmate pretty easily-
Grimm: Idk man my money's still on the little girl.
Rigel:...Never liked you, cat.
Mariko: Time to rid the house of this infernal filth.
Calypso:...You're spraying at ME, imbecile.
Mariko: Maybe I know that.
Calypso: Maybe I'll talk to Mum and Great-Grandma and then your ass will be so fired!
Mariko: Bold of you to assume they care.
Tethys: Ah, great! Gamers, this is one of my children. Ursa, do you have any thoughts about the levelling of weapons in-
Ursa: I demand to be read a story!
Tethys: Take that elsewhere then, gotta go to work.
Meanwhile Grimm is chasing himself atop his cat tree.
Grimm: I'm the king of the castle, and it is QUITE a delicate and skilled balance not to fall off, I'll have you know!
Pollux asked to come over and...well of course Calypso's taking advantage.
Pollux: Fine! Fine! I'll play your chess game, just open this door.
Calypso: That's what I like to hear.
Umbriel's social was getting low so I made a club for her to meet other kids.
Philip: Well we're kinda just here for the fancy equipment.
Blond kid: Dammit you weren't supposed to tell her that!
Umbriel: This is harder than I thought it would be. Can't Mum just buy me a friend?
Deanna: No thanks, Phobos. I don't need a partner, nor my grandson to wingman me. Don't you have a newborn baby to look after?
Phobos: The thing is...having the perfect family is actually hard.
Deanna: Once upon a time there as a haughty and irritating cat.
Calypso: Oooh we all know the one. He's behind me in his castle.
Deanna: Heh, not bad kid.
Grimm: Hey screw you guys!
Umbriel: MUM! You're holding him and not making out with someone else in the garden! I'm proud!
Felix is out haunting. Feel like I haven't seen him out in a while.
Felix: Oh gaming rig. I've missed you most of all.
Grimm: Cry Freedommmmm!
Mariko: Shhh now child, I will protect you from all-
Ursa: Soooo...can you let me go back to bed, it's 4am.
Tethys: Positive affirmation from my daughter means nothing,...wanna 'hang out' in the backyard, Felipe?
Felipe: I feel like this means something else.
Tethys: You'll find out.
Tethys: Nothing to see here darling, I'm just with a friend.
Felipe: I've never met you before in my life.
Umbriel: I think I'm gonna be sick.
Tethys: Just don't blame me for that.
Felipe: I'd blame that there swingset, the kid was going pretty fast.
Tethys: Eh. Old habits die hard.
Felipe: So....
Tethys: Dude I have four other kids, I'm hardly chaste.
Felipe: I mean I got spawn from other sources, so I got no room to judge.
Tethys: Weird way to describe your children but OK.
Meanwhile Mariko appears to be babysitting.
Umbriel: I really do think I'm gonna be sick.
Mariko: Not on my cleaned floor you're not.
Umbriel: You haven't cleaned though!
Ursa: I'mma need a bandaid for my brain if I spend one more second in prison.
Grimm: Aw Tethys I miss being the man in your life.
Tethys: That's never been true and you're kinda cockblocking me right now.
Felipe: So you WERE looking for this-
Tethys: Don't be so blunt about it, Felipe.
Rigel: I must sing you the song of my sadness!
Got the first gold date for Tethys' last aspiration tier just in time. Thanks Felipe (and lag).
And yes they did WooHoo. Once Grimmy was off the bed and out of that room.
This is also a given at this point.
Tethys: I swear to God this better work-
Umbriel: Are you my state-sponsored friend?
Alberto: Uh, that's pretty weird. The flirty mood is going away fast.
Umbriel: Oh and what I said is weird?
Yeah. Um. Chris Hansen alert pls.
Felipe: Uh, no thanks! I came here for Tethys, not to give her weirdly hot roommate my own blood!
Deanna: Jeez alright. I'm her grandma and it was just a question. I'll just have the butler do it.
Mariko: Wait no.
Lilith: This is how you treat vampirekind? Huh? Is your last name not Straud?
Felipe: I actually have no idea where that comes from-
Deanna: Aw yeah, you tell him, Tethys' ex.
Lilith: Oh my time with that tramp was a one-night fling, don't even.
Deanna:...Don't make me fight you.
Lilith: You'd LOSE!
Felipe: So is this even about me anymore?
Lilith: Good God why is she still having babies. You poor thing.
Antares: Aahhhhh scary lady!
Lilith: Well I hope you make something of yourself Umby.
Umbriel: Sure. I'd do even better if I could live with-
Lilith : Ah well, you know the housing market, lots of people and no room.
Umbriel: As I thought.
Tethys: Sorry about earlier. I'm free to speak now, twin. What gives?
Rigel: Our aunt died...
Tethys: Shoot, which once? It can't be Eirene's time and death would never take Vela.
Rigel: Auntie Jayda-
Tethys: RIP we hardly knew thee-
Rigel: Actually I got quite close to her as we both lived in the city...so many stories.
Tethys: Ahh, sucks. So interested in hearing about her but I gotta go tho!
Rigel:...Thanks Teth.
Rigel: Lemme take out feelings on this guitar! C'mon E Minor!
Lilith: It's OK. Your uncle on my side is similarly a dramatic idiot.
Umbriel: Cute that you think he's my only Uncle on Mum's side. My great-grandparents had a lot of kids and things kinda went on from there.
It was Antares's birthday.
Deanna: Now why the face, dear?
Antares: Let me down so I may be...SILLY.
Not a match, but cute all the same. And he is Silly despite that face.
Grimm: Now this, this is my food. And I will guard it with all of my mighty floof.
I mean I don't think anybody else wants the pet food, Grimm.
Grimm: You sure? That new little boy Tethys birthed was giving it the eye.
New? Teth's already on her fifth child, aren't you?
Tethys: I think I'm gonna be sick.
Calypso: Y'know Umbriel talks a big game but I'm the one studying the blade, training my brain-
Deanna: Yes, dear.
Calypso: Right! So wanna play chess with me?
Deanna: I'm actually kind of busy.
Calypso: I know you're on Simbook. Watch out for that atrophy of the mind, old woman.
Umbriel: I swear this is aspirational.
Yeah, and you're done now. Scamping is finished and over. No more game rig, time for intense homework and chess.
Umbriel: Anything to show that jumped-up little brat Calypso.
Deanna: Does that look like a scratching post to you, feline?
Grimm: I dunno, does it?
Deanna: Why you little-
Grimm: Do you have a cat brain? You don't know what I know!
Deanna: I ..what?!
Tethys: What did my mean Grandma say to you? Come to me, Grimmy, and let's work through our conflicted emotions, oh yes we will-
Grimm:...What's happening? She's never like this. If motherhood was gonna make her softer it would have already done so!
Deanna: Haaahaha! Silly Mariko! As if you know the right way to clean the microwave.
Mariko: The fuck did you hire me for then?
Deanna: Favour to whichever of your many descendants you married?
Mariko:...Yeah, right.
Deanna: But also, speaking of my veins are a little low-
Tethys: Lowkey depressed right now but seeing that face never hurts.
Alyson: Oh you!
Tethys: Happy to but - wait, hang on. I'm getting a call.
It was this.
Felipe: You want to take this relationship more seriously? Oh, to think I thought I'd be without a chance!
Tethys: Sure I do. I just want to finally settle down without any ulterior motives at all.
Felipe: Let me sweep all that sadness away!
Tethys: Mmmmmf.
Antares: Hm. Tastes good!
Sure.
Antares: And it's practice...heh, just being silly with you.
Deanna: Examexamexamexam-
Mariko: As you will sir. Hmmpph. The red or white? *haughty sniff*. Yeah, this is butlering.
Ursa: This is seriously what she does with her life? How sad.
Sorry girl, you gotta spam Watch. We are in fact, behind on your skills.
Ursa: Yeah, you were too busy making me a middle child.
Alyson:...I'm sure she'll be back soon.
Umbriel: Huh, yeah right. If you believe that I have a bridge to sell you.
Alyson: What do you know?
Umbriel: More than you think. Starting with the simple fact that she finishes work at 11, so come back tomorrow.
Antares: You were right. Doll heads are not a very satisfying meal. I demand to be fed.
Calypso: You can have some crumbs off the floor if you crawl around like a little rat.
Antares: Yeah I'll pass. Grandma!
Deanna: Busy getting my second degree, sweetie!
Disappointed in that B, but I'm happy with this overall.
Umbriel's next aspiration is Whiz Kid, so it's chess time for both girls.
Calypso: You'd think for such a neat person Grandma would pick up all the artifacts on hte floor.
Umbriel: That skull's giving me a weird fuckin' look.
That's my bad guys, sorry.
Vela came for a visit.
Grimm: And? She doesn't interest me!
Vela: This creature is canonically a bastard..I need one, please.
Grimm: Some of my brethren are available to evilly stroke if you wish, my dear.
Deanna: So I've just begun a career as civil planner and I ned to present a concept.
Vela: OK? You got any experience or-
Deanna: Not one bit!
Vela: This'll be cogent.
Deanna: Seriously you can watch.
Vela: It's cool I'll just stare at the wall...honestly why do I even bother visiting?
Deanna: Look now...it can't be all that bad. Some of our children are in the afterlife now, as adults-
Felix: Yeah and they're all terrible! I heard Dipper is up next. DIPPER! Is that supposed to make me feel better?
Felix ended up being the recipient of the blueprint proposal.
Felix: Does she realise I closed the door?
Ursa: Oh shoot 'Tares, I think that cat's going for your nutrition!
Antares: Over my dead body. Seriously. I will fight to the death.
Grimm: Over old limp salad? Really?
Ursa: Hey we get what we get as Mum's non-cat, non-heir babies.
Antares: And we're gonna protecc.
Antares: Honk honk you sound like a GOOSE!
Grimm: Hey man that actually really hurts-
Ursa: My FACE-
Let's move on.
Calypso: Having some trouble there, Mariko?
Mariko: NO you little - oh God, not the tailcoat - you little brat!
Tethys: You make a girl's heart beat faster, Aly!
Alyson: I mean mine is pounding. You're so hot I'm blind to your inconsideration last time!
Tethys: What inconsideration?
Alyson: Exactly!
Tethys: Seriously. I'm sorry. Baby daddy drama, annoying managers, you know the like. You get it.
Alyson: I'd take anything you might get for me.
Tethys: That's not the meaning I was going for but you got the spirit.
Alyson: I think I'm in utter lust. The things I would do to you-
Tethys: Whoaaaa calm down my kids are still in the room. Damn this thing is strong.
Chase and Merc both got old. My boysssss...Merc has a lot of time due to the Active trait AND finishing the bodybuilder aspiration, but Chase has about two weeks :(
I miss them so much but we needed the space.
Tethys: OK grow up now so there can only be one baby. I'm sick of these things so I'll take what I get.
Antares: Oi I heard that.
Tethys: Yes son. I know.
The two eldest were of course upstairs.
Umbriel: There, I have your bishop and you're off your rhythm. I've thrown you off.
Calypso: You didn't throw shit. Philistine.
Umbriel: Watch what you say or I'll use my superior motor skill to throw it at your face.
Ursa: Ugh, I feel so tired. Only an animal could comfort me...and that animal we do not possess.
She's a Dog Lover lol. Absolutely no room for a dog. Sorry girl. She's also a Whiz Kid.
I forgot I let Sloane come over.
Sloane: What? What the hell are you looking at?
Ursa:...Well you're a stranger who was just in my bathtub.
Sloane: I've known your mother since before you were alive!
Ursa: And clearly you guys aren't that close if I ain't met you.
Eirene: Let me in Mum I'm burning alive.
Deanna: Relax dear and wait a minute. I'm pruning my poinsettias.
Eirene: Those are lilies even I know that!
Oops looks like she lost her hair.
Deimos visited at about midnight, as you do.
Deanna: So how's your bigshot artist life going in the city? Better yet, settled down with anybody? Gonna have babies?
Deimos: On second thoughts I'll just go home.
Deimos: You two just think you're so much better than me with your wives and kids and 'happiness', whatever that is.
Rigel: Now while I may be happily with my fiancee and a renowned art critic...I'm not a therapist bro. Please.
Deimos: So I got that part wrong...speaking of, seal the damn deal, you're lucky to have the woman!
Rigel: Funny considering how much you used to hate her.
Deimos:..You're lucky to have anyone.
Rigel: Now I feel bad.
Mariko: I'm not sure how suitable that attire is for cooking, Tethys.
Tethys: How 'bout you bite me. I'm hot, sweaty and uncomfortable, it's the damn pregnancy, you wouldn't understand-
Mariko: I literally almost gave birth in front of you. In fact, I miss my family...oh Malcolm.
Alyson: Oh HELL yeah, finally sealing the deal!
Tethys: Again, I just want that ass, there's no promise of commitment being made here.
Alyson: Ri - what do you mean, 'again'? You never told me that before!
Meanwhile, our very capable butler Mariko is babysitting Antares.
Antares: Uh, lady? I'm hungry. You've been staring for the last five minutes.
Mariko: Idk dude so have you.
Tethys: Yes, yes Grimmy, I am in fact making a commitment to somebody-
Grimm: Ooh, again?
Alyson: Heh...I haz gf.
UM OK...we'll have to see how things go with this kid. And we need two more partners to finish the aspiration. I guess Alyson could be the mother of any remaining children if we need more.
Umbriel: Can't be near them. I'm part of A-grade gang now.
Calypso: Curse my younger age...I'm coming for your record, Umbriel
Ursa: So nobody wants to help me get a dog?
Tethys: CALYPSO get Grandm -
Calypso: She's at work.
Tethys: Anybody then oh GOD why are you still sat there-
Calypso: This history text is just really interesting.
Despite Calypso's complete lack of help, a baby girl was born. This makes 4/5 of Tethys' children girls. Guess she needed to make up for having so many brothers.
The skintone on this one is promising. Her name is Solstice because at the time of play the shortest day of the year was coming up.
Alyson: But Tethys! Didn't you say 'marriage is for suckers and I don't do that. Suck that is'?
Umbriel: Very eloquent. Bets on how this one'll go then?
Tethys: A h well something about your blue hair and...other qualities...iis just really speaking to me, darling. Take my hand in marriage pls!
Alyson: So how do you feel about having a stepmother?
Umbriel: I feel nothing yet, because my own mother could very well screw this up before that happens.
Rigel: Busting, busting, bust a move!
Umbriel: You'll have to deal with him also.
Meanwhile the other girls are upstairs playing chess.
Calypso: Interesting move...really interesting-
Ursa: Stop trying to psych me out. This is one of the basic moves from the Logic handbook. Seriously, I'm a noob. This is not a fair fight!
Calypso: Ah, all the better to win it then!
Ursa:...Is it?
Garret: Sorry you want to use me? Do you think telling me that outright is gonna work? That it's cute?
Tethys: Hmmm...well I am.
Garret: Maybe you were before the third kid, you dried up eThot!
Tethys: So you're an incel...at least sexually frustrated? C'mon, gimme something.
Garret: So you weren't joking? Well shit, get into my bed then girl.
Tethys: Come on dude at least pretend to woo me.
Antares: Hands off me you infernal woman.
Mariko: I'm seriously getting sick of this shit.
Antares: Damn I was just riffin'. Silliness and all. It's my personality.
Much later...
Sullivan Sutherland: Wow my distant cousins have a way nicer turntable than me.
Garret: You really do have such...hands.
Tethys: Your face does not compare to the others.
Tethys: OK. Gold date and I called you my boyfriend like once. Piss off now, I don't need anything else.
Garret: Hey that wasn't the deal.
Umbriel:..Gross, Mum. Why am I ALWAYS in the room-
Deanna: I mean, that's our Teth. What can you do?
Garret: So are you interested in-
Deanna: Ah, not in the mood to do it with another of my granddaughter's boyfriends. Go home now. I was using you to Gain Influence.
Garret:...What in the fuck?
Deanna: Hey cat can you like, not.
Grimm: *hisss* I hate this chair in particular.
Ursa finally met her newest sibling.
Ursa: Eh. Not as good as a dog but she'll do.
Deanna got near some garlic and started wigging out.
Deanna: HURGH why is my MOUTH so WET
Antares: O__O Uh the pathetic blue lady can have me back actually
Girls are home.
Umbriel: I mean I'm only embarrassed because I dropped a tray.
Calypso: It's true. I was the tray.
Ursa: That's clearly bull...
Calypso: She tried to ask out-
Umbriel: THE TRAY!
Calypso: Hey Uncle Rigel don't you have y'know...a FAMILY
Antares: Awwww snap.
Rigel: You guys are my family!
Antares: Never met this guy in my life!
Deanna: Y'know...what do I look like? I've forgotten.
I made Umbriel invite someone over. Kid's lonely.
Glenn: Omigod I do NOT want to hang out with you!
Umbriel: Wow you had that ready to go.
Deanna: I've read this one SO MANY TIKMES-
Ursa: Eh. Well. Continue. It's about dogs isn't it?
Deanna: Unicorns.
Ursa: Close enough.
Karina:.Why did I decide to come meet you again, son?
Antares: Beats me, now let me know about some funky fresh CRIMES pls, other mother.
Calypso: Wow sure am glad I wasn't trying to do homework or anything.
Ursa: I just really wish Mum's lil cat Grimmy was a dog instead...better vibes, so much more FUN-
Calypso: Oh. Great. You didn't take my choice of seat as a hint to shutting up.
Ursa: Anyway! Wouldn't it be fun if you used that chemistry set for some...transfiguration?
Calypso: Sounds intense, Ursa. How about you git gud with that mental skill and then we'll talk?
Karina: Yo the stolen leftover nachos are not worth listening to this.
Deanna: Oh God girls I still don't feel so good...
Ursa: Grandma are you...pregnant?
Deanna: Eh, your grandfather's ghost has been a real dick-
Umbriel: She's pregnant with a lifetime supply of garlic.
Deanna: Oh don't say that.
Felix: No way is this my problem isn't being dead supposed to have some perks?
Solstice: AW COME ON I'm dying in my own filth!
Mariko: OW are you..are you crying into my arm?
Deanna: The garlic, it haunts my daymares!
Tethys: What's up gamers, just playing on Housewife Mode in a nightgown and...dammit I didnt' even hit record.
Tethys: Awww Grimmy, keeping me company during my torture?
Grimm: Nah this wall is just really interesting and you said I could have a snack.
He loves her really.
Calypso completed her aspiration by grading up. Ursa is on a B as well.
Ursa: Got bigger fish to fry. Other Mother, what do you think I can contribute to this? I'm six and my best friend is a chess table.
Umbriel: Time to grow up!
Just in time to help Solstice with her skills. With Deanna working a 9-5, Antares fell a little behind.
Umbriel: Wait no lemme go back-
Tethys: Ah...*closes eyes* she's perfect. Literally. No more flippin babies.
Umbriel: Well I'm not helping spoil her obviously gonna-be-spoiled ass.
Tethys: Fix that outfit before you talk smack, dear.
Anyay, Solstice is our heir and she is a Silly tot. Her older sister Umbriel is now a Renaissance Sim and a Self-Assured Geek.
Sidenote: Phobos's son is indeed a PG match. Counts slightly less cos his wife, Mckenzie, has the same hair as him, but still.
Phobos: My line will prevail.
Cute kid also, but his face is weirdly adult for a toddler.
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