Rivella: So you're awake. What's good, what's new, what needs taking care of?
Vermouth: As if you can do something for me, demon lady?
Rivella: Hey, I may have done some crimes but you can't say I was a bad mother! I only traumatised them a little bit.
Vermouth: Good God.
For being so angelic he really doesn't like anyone.
Vermouth: God Dad, I can't see that card at that angle. Ru DUMB?
Carl: I'm trying my best OK.
Carl: Hey Bot stop blowing warm air at my back...agh! I will protect my son!
Vermouth Nah it's cool my small baby height protects me.
Carl: Well in that case.
Vermouth:...Wow.
Gimlet: Something is chasing me...stalking me, waiting for the right opportunity to-
Kahlua: I will hide in the bushes, get my revenge-
Gimlet: Oh it's my sister. Hey LUA you said that out loud!
Kahlua: Don't be reassured I'll eat your soul!
Gimlet: AGH-
Sangria: How I've missed my Vermy.
Is that really his nickname?
Vermouth: Yay attention from Mum! She is a good teacher!
Sangria:...I'm doing my best.
Kahlua: Wow Grandma thanks for the help! You always have the right ideas!
Carl:..don't approve of her so loudly it'll sadden your mother.
Rivella: What, the AUTHOR mother who isn't helping dear Lua with her perosnal essay?
Carl: I would help but I never got good grades in them. They always said I was makin' shit up.
Gimlet: Oh I got that today, Dad. It's the crabs, isn't it?
Carl: Yeah, it's the crabs.
Sangria: What happened to you, kitty? Playing with the skunks again?
Vermouth:..Again? Mother can this filthy creature not distract from my storytime?
Carl finished off his second term with A+'s across the board. He and San are so close to the end...
Carl: Yay rainbow vortex!
Vermouth: AAAAAH-
Bot: So much to clean! I wasn't prepared!
Kezia: Yeah, welcome to our place, bot. Carl's pretty sweaty.
Carl: HEY-
Sangria: Kahlua, come get your friend. Boy you have five seconds to get out of my face. Mama's gotta write.
Bobby: Well you're not my mum.
Kahlua: Don't worry Bob she's just a big softie.
Sangria: Wanna bet?
Bobby: I'll leave now ma'am.
Sangria intimidated that child for a good reason, as she needed to publish just one more book!
Anyway this is all we have left to do now. I'll probably focus on her uni and finishing Vermouth's skills and then go for the bestsellers.
Lux: My dear grandson...forced to carry my curse.
Oh he'll be fine. Plus with the father Sangria chose for her children...probably would have happened.
Lux: Hm. Damn Cola...I mean Sangria...and that's like a great-great grandson isn't it? I've been dead way too long, huh?
Rivella: Did that thing have to watch me do my business?
Bot: Beep, beep, threat to Cleanliness Levels detected.
Rivella: Yes that's what happens when you take a shit. What idiot AI did Carl create?
My boy Gimlet's always bringing a little manic energy to the things he does.
Gimlet: I dance for my freedom, for my sanity, for my intellect!
Vermouth: Good luck getting any of those.
Gimle: Well good luck getting me to help you off that sofa! I'm not too good to use your height against you!
I made Vermouth actually ask Riv for something and he asked San for help anyway. This boy seriously loves his mother.
Rivella: Yeah have it your way Norman Bates, I'll be dead soon.
Sangria: Oh don't say that. He just expresses healthy love for his mother! The way I never could towards you!
Kezia is literally praising Tommy for this.
Kezia: That's it. Rub your stink all over Lua's bed, she's getting to big for those britches!
Tommy: Yes ma'am! I never liked you much but I think we've reached an understanding.
Vermouth: Mother! You are back from school.
Sangria: Yes dear, but why don't you ask your father, I'm very busy-
Vermouth:...Is that a joke?
Kezia: Yeah, definitely a creepy attachment style there, San.
Carl:...That rejection really hurt as well guys.
Kahlua graded up to an A, and Gimlet's on a B.
Kahlua: Sucks to suck doesn't it.
Gimlet: I am the one true Whiz Kid and I will surpass you eventually.
Kahlua: But I'll always be the older better sister.
Gimlet: Maybe, but I did give Kezia a bed burrito, so she rubbed cat butt all over your duvet.
Kahlua:...What now?
Gimlet: GIM OUT!
Kezia: OW, virtual ball!
Gimlet: Yeahhhh you're doing amazing, what a show!
Guess he's hyping her up as his next favour. Or just being creepy, could be either.
Vermouth: This is not ideal.
Rivella: Well it's me or nothing, 'cos your parents are in the shower!
Vermouth: Like together? Don't lie, Grandma, people don't do that.
Rivella : Well kid - you'll understand when you're older.
Carl: I still got it.
Sangria: Yeah you do baby, that blew my mind -
Carl: Oh. Cat's using the litter box.
Sangria: Ugh. That's a mood killer, ain't it?
Sprite: Well. Another one of San's brood I assume.
Kezia: Yes. This is Gimlet and he's my favourite.
Gimlet: Do you have crabs in your brain, Auntie Sprite? Mum says it's a curse of my father, but I know it is of my ancestor.
Sprite:...Why is this one your favourite?
Kezia: He gets me microwave burritos and he's the only half-decent chess opponent in the house.
Sprite: I see now.
Gimlet: Let's play a round for your dignity, Auntie Sprite.
Carl: How 'bout you shut up, Daisy? You're outnumbering me a hundred to one that can't be fair!
Vermouth: And people wonder why he doesn't impress me.
Sprite's adopted daughter is pregnant. She was adopted as a teenager which is why it's so soon. Strange when Sprite isn't even an Adult yet.
Also this family keep returning to the aliens.
Nix: Yes, we're trendsetters.
Pepsi: i was doing something, wasn't I?
Rivella: Can't it be getting the fuck out of my room'?
Yeah, c'mon Pepsi. Dick move.
Kezia: So Gimlet, that's how you paint a perfect raincloud, it'll hit anyone in the feels...and are you even listening to me?
Gimlet: Oooh...breakfast salad.
Kezia: Gimlet, come on, this is prime advice! I don't just give it to anyone!
Gimlet: Hey look I caught a fish!
Kezia: That's an anchovy and it's been dead for months.
Carl: Put that toy away. Its energy is evil...bad vibes from that crab.
Vermouth: It's a - I really would have been happy to hang out by myself today.
Bot: Erasing Dirt, Erasing Dirt.
Tommy: I kinda liked the toilet like that.
Vermouth: So you'd have something as filthy as you.
Rivella: That kid's angelic like Sprite was.
Kezia: Sprite was a sassy little madam with no conscience and a pretty sharp tongue.
Rivella: Yeah exactly.
Rivella: Haaaahaha I am too old for this to be my problem.
No, you broke it. Get back in there and fix it!
Carl: Fifty-mile high club here we go!
Sangria: Oh Carl I feel rebellious, almost like a teenager again!
Carl: Oh, don't be silly...you never did crap like this when you were a teenager.
Sangria: You really gotta call me out, huh.
Later...
Carl: OW come on man, I thought we were getting on better!
Cleaner Bot: Threat to Cleanliness detected.
Carl: OK so I defiled my mother-in-law's rocketship but I did put a blanket down!
Vermouth: Cat, you take up too much of my mother's attention...so catch these hands.
Tommy: Hey, rando dude, help-
Griffin: Nah I wanna see who wins. My money's on you, cat, don't let me down!
Family update time! This is Aperol and Kristine's little girl, Kristyn. She isn't a spellcaster but still v cute! Looks a lot like her mother.
These two are Bellini's daughters, Cava and Champagne. They both look a lot like their dad.
This is Grenadine's only grandchild right now - Ryan. He is just adorable. I probably won't keep track of Grenadine's line much longer, but I have a soft spot for Ribena and Kevin, Ryan's parents.
Rivella: You remind me of one of my baby daddies...which one exactly I can't quite remember!
Griffin: Good enough.
WHY are you flirty?
Sangria: - you see Auntie Kezia, I'm just not confident in this presentation board-
Kezia: You shouldn't be. It lacks flare.
Sangria: OK, OK...how can I jazz it up?
Kezia: I dunno I didn't go to school for presentations.
Sangria: Thanks, very constructive overall.
Carl: Gasp, my old rival.
Griffin: Relax my man. If I can't have San why not have her old mother?
Rivella:...Get out.
San's other mother died.
Sangria: :( I mean she was really crappy and dismissive but...yeah I got nothing
Carl: So...Grandma died!
Gimlet: WHAT? But I just saw her two seconds ago...I think I did! Egads, the worms burrow deeper.
Carl: Oh, whoops. Nah, your grandma that you didn't even meet.
Gimlet:...Oh. That kind of sucks.
Carl: We haven't seen her since our wedding, your mother and I...
Gimlet: So what was she like?
Carl: Showed up high and not wearing pants.
Gimlet: She sounds delightful. Seriously like my kind of person.
Kahlua: Oh Bobby, my Grandma is dead and I am so torn up-
Harvey: Ding dong the witch is dead, huh. Pretty sure she's the one who killed my grandma and got me a parking ticket.
Kahlua: OK not everything is Granny Riv's fault.
Bobby: But -
Kahlua: My OTHER grandma.
Bobby: Your dad's mum?
Kahlua: No she died ages ago. The other one.
Bobby:...Step-grandma?
Prosecco is a YA and married to a somewhat older woman.
Prosecco: Lol did you think I wouldn't end up with mother issues?
Good point.
Gin-Fizz became a grandma for the first time (and got old), and Grena's oldest Ribena had her second kid.
Nicola's out.
Nicola: i remember when this family used to pick good spouses.
Carl: HEY-
The next morning, Gimlet skills.
Gimlet: Double trouble, toil and bubble...and then the explosion!
Rivella: Better make this a good tourney! It'll be my last. How 'bout you be my ring-girl, Carl? You're dressed for it.
Carl:...I am a man.
Rivella: Oh we can all tell.
Carl: Um...presentation presentation.
Kahlua: Grandmaaaa you're gonna die?
Rivella: Almost certainly.
Sangria: Mum I did ask you to not discuss this-
Rivella: Please you knew life and death by the time you were two!
Kahlua: Oh whatever I'm just gonna miss you.
Sangria: So will I...more space, less security threats...
Kahlua:...You don't sound sad.
Why are you two like this.
Sangria: How's my handsome husband?
Carl:..Your mother's making me kind of uncomfortable again.
Sangria: What's new?
Rivella: Don't worry I'll be out of your hair soon.
Carl: Well now I feel bad.
Sangria: Mum please.
Gimlet: It just sucks! Who's gonna show me dangerous and unstable chemical combinations?
Kahlua: You think you have it rough? She never gave me the secret to beating her high score!
Kezia: I'll never regret this journey, Riv.
Rivella: Well you've been consistent company all my adult life, Kez. So let's die together. It'll be fun.
Kezia: After getting sucked through universes, dunno what else is left.
Sangria: My head does always get a bit light when I jog.
Sigh. I'll fix it later.
Bellini: Oooh...hope this is the right move! Gotta beat that Bell opposite me!...Hhhhh I'm lonely.
Kezia: Yep, that's definitely the wrong move.
Gimlet: Hhhhhohhh my God I should not have bet my glasses on this.
Kezia: Or is it, Gim? Is it? What's in my head? Not even I know!
Gimlet: I don't know! I don't! Help me.
Bess: A nap for free in the park? I don't think. I'll write to the council and monetise this shit!
Overall it was a successful outing. Kahlua completed her aspiration and Gimlet actually met people outside his family.
Gimlet: They were below par.
Kahlua: Why are your standards high, you live with this lot.
Tommy: *sniffs feet*
Rivella: Say what's the big idea cat?
Tommy: I dunno, attention?
Carl:...Wasn't what I was thinking?
Sprite: Carl. Ew. HEY wait I can still get into Aperol's social media, hahaaaa!
Sangria: So. i heard about your marriage. Y'know, I tried to be a mother-figure, Prosecco-
Prosecco: Yeah I shouldn't have come.
Sprite: You did marry a woman who graduated with your mother, maybe San has a point-
Sangria: Aw Sprite you really are softening, you haven't admitted that in years!
Sangria: Oh, my last innocent little bean - I really can't have anymore, can I? Well I COULD-
But you're not.
Vermouth: Oh mother, remember that I will gain new personality.
Sangria: I just hope it's a sweet one!
Vermouth: Just you wait.
The Miscellaneous Fun is getting less FUN. I'm bored of the festivals.
Annika: Oh. You brought him.
Sangria: Yes, old FRIEND, I brought my HUSBAND to the romance festival.
Carl: I'll give you two some space.
Annika: That's fine. It's fine.
Sangria: Where's yours?
Bellini and Johnny came together this time but...
Johnny: Just come drink the tea or something, I dunno.
Bellini: Oh very romantic!
Johnny: You wanted to come, woman.
Liam: Beautiful petals for the beautiful mother of my high school acquaintance!
Bellini: Who are you?
Johnny: Is that the romance you're after then?
Bellini: Shut up!
Our actual Gen 4 couple had a nice time.
Sangria: Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?
Carl: Shmell yes girl, we can put on my playlist and go all night-
Sangria: Ok but remember to take out the Lonely Island songs.
Carl: Some of them are topical.
Back at home there's still guests.
Sprite: Aw come on Kezia I was gonna use that.
Kezia: I'm half dead get off my dick.
Kahlua: Hugs for my brother! Hugs forever, Vermouth!
Prosecco: Kinda sus...
Vermouth: Halp.
And so ends Vermouth's toddlerhood. With more trauma.
Vermouth: Mum your arms are FREAKING ME OUT-
Sangria: This feels unnatural. Oh well, whee! *tosses across table*
Aperol: So can I name this one?
Kristine: I was thinking Christina.
Vermmouth: Uh Ms Ghost lady can I have my bed back?
Lux: That's Great-Great Grandma Lux to you, kid.
Vermouth:..Sorry, can I have my-
Lux: Occupied. Grow a spine, you're a Sutherland.
Comments
Post a Comment