We start this chapter with a notification announcing the birth of Mala's son.
Mala: I already dislike his presence.
She's a Loner who Hates Children lmao.
Kiribati: The vibes around this bed...not the one.
Jordan: *growl* Why am I not a vampire yet?
Kiribati: Either be asleep or don't be!
Kiri keeps trying to quit on vampire lore.
Jordan: Lololol there is no escape, just keep truckin' on, sis...
Kiri: I hope you become a vampire...
Jordan: Why thanks, it's my dream-
Kiri: And then die of sunlight ten minutes after. Alternatively, I'll end your life now by beating you about the head with this STUPID MASSIVE BOOK-
Jordan: And they call me Hot-Headed.
Mauritius: OW - I'm a spellcaster and I should be above such things! What is this?
Uh, you're not really gonna do anything until you get older, dude-
Mauritius: Lies! Look at the image I have produced!
All the kids do that, it's in your head.
Mauritius:...Well today hasn't started very well.
Elin: Right, so you need a bath then, kid?
Norway: Nor way am I right?
Elin: No. You're not. That was terrible and my question was rhetorical, you stink.
Elin: So that's the guy you embarrassed yourself with.
Gunther: See? You see now, he really does look feminine!
Paka'a: And I'm secure in that. I can hear all of this, what is wrong with you people?
Elin: Ignore my idiot husband, let's talk outside.
Gunther: Hah. Have fun. I suppose she wants to do 'research' on mermen.
Paka'a:...What is going on here?
Paka'a: WHY did you shoot me with a toy arrow you...beautiful lady?
Elin: God I love this thing. C'mere, pretty.
Kiri: Just hit him, Mauri. Hit him.
Mauri: I'm more supernatural than you...I'm more supernatural!
Jordan: Yeah, well this bitch gets to leave, so who's laughing now?
Mauri: Still me.
Liberia: Why is this my family.
So, the kids are home. Libs and Jordan have had their As for three days, so they're growing up. Kiri got her A, and Mauri got a B.
Libs: YEET!
Libs: Ohhhh I'm ready to destroy.
So. She grew up Evil. The only one of Elin's kids to have truly obtained that trait. She also got the Author aspiration which is even funnier. Oh you really are your mother, Libby.
Libs: That would be India, they're basically clones.
And you look exactly like them both besides your skin. More like El-iberia.
Libs: That was awful.
I know.
Paka'a: Let me take you to the most beautiful place in this world....
Elin: I'm listening...wait, first my idiot son needs to grow up. He's that one with the pointy hair over there.
Paka'a: I was wondering who that guy staring was.
Jordan: Better taste than usual, Mum, just saying.
Jordan: Something doesn't feel right.
Liberia: Woooo you got fat!
Jordan: Shut up, have you seen that outfit?
Liberia: OK sure, but I can change that in two minutes bro! Wish I could say the same for you! Wait no I don't, I'm evil-
Yeah so Jordan ended up getting his dad's body as a YA. He adds genius to his traits.
Meanwhile outside...
Paka'a: WAIT SHIT my wife!
Elin: That's what a lot of 'em say, it won't matter. I just need you for the evening...
Paka'a: What have I got myself into?
Elin: Shhh, don't talk through this.
So, to visit the Mua Pel'am Waterfall you have to technically be visiting a lot. The people who own the lot Paka'a and Elin visited just set their house on fire. We never knocked on the door so...this is all I can see.
Didn't stop Elin and Paka'a sealing the deal tho.
Makoa: Welp, we're out. I know that look, nothing will stop 'em doing it in the water.
Afu: Good... material though.
Makoa: Yeah I guess we did leave those cameras up.
Afu: That's always good footage.
Elin: Hey, can y'all hurry up and get out?!
Paka'a: Welp, that spell's been broken. Wtf did I just do?
Elin: Lol check out my robotic joint. Such range of motion!
Elin: Screw whatever he said, merbaby time!
Kiri: I can't BELIEVE it! An essay on Count Dracula? This is a sick joke.
Liberia: As is life, I will destroy you all and then write a book.
Kiri: Oh been done, haven't you read Mum's work?
Mauri: I feed off your suffering.
So I interpreted Evil Writer as just...kinda goth. She's also wearing the adult version of her childhood dresseralls, in black of course.
Meanwhile, Norway be flying back there...
Gunther: HEY I exist.
Liberia: So are we not gonna talk about the swimsuit or...
Elin: Shut up. You need to write that report, and godDAMN you are bad at maths, Mauri.
Mauritius: Uh, I'm a spellcaster and an artist, bro, I won't need any of that-
Elin: You will to get out of this house! And you're having another sibling!
Liberia: Unconventional way to announce that, points for bluntness.
Kiri is oddly happy to be changing her baby sister.
Kiri: Ah, it's better than the vampires. And this one isn't a threat.
Oman: Um, duh-
Kiri: I mean. I almost feel bad for the kid. Sandwiched between two maybe-supernaturals. How difficult. She'll grow up never feeling special enough!
Oman: UMMMM *cries harder*
Elin: Heard through the Watcher that you are my little blue doppelganger. I'm impressed so far but all that eyeshadow is a little tryhard-
Liberia: When I want your advice I'll ask for it. Get out of my face or I'll ruin you.
Elin: Not bad, not bad...but that threat was pretty empty. HOW will you ruin me, Liberia? Introduce a real consequence!
Kiri: So I wrote about that stupid Dracula book, and now this? I'd rather change the baby again!
Liberia: How can I make a threat to her real though...Mum is kinda untouchable!
Elin: Now don't admit that to me, dear! See Gunther, I can teach my kids things-
Gunther: Yes yes, you're a stellar mother Elin, of course.
India had her baby with Sergio Romeo.
India: Well he wasn't at the hospital so...
RIP good luck gal.
LOL that face.
Elin: This is undignified!
And you're on your 15th pregnancy, you should be past this.
Elin: Why did you let me sleep that long?
Look after yourself, you grew up in an ISBI after all!
Elin: WAIT this isn't my universe?!
Just go shower.
See Elin, even your toddler son is better at this than you.
Norway: OMG wait really, what happened?
Elin: IT WAS YOUR FAULT!
Norway: I feel like I'm witnessing something historic.
India: I kind of miss you, Gunther, you weren't the worst. Hug?
Gunther: W-wait, what? I swear, my wallet's in my hoodie, don't try to pickpocket-
India:...I don't need your money. Saddown.
Gunther: I'm sorry it's just that this never happens.
Norway: I worry for my guardians,
Norway: I have an idea, Blueffy! You can be my parent!
Blueffy: I've heard this from enough of you kids, I can't! And I'm sure your mother wouldn't like-
Elin: If only you could.
Norway: See?!
Elin: Now this is how I like it. Gunther and I working on our separate pursuits...all the kids at school.
You have a toddler and a baby at home.
Elin: Well they're very quiet, they might as well be at school!
And now everyone's home.
Norway: *cries* I just wanna talk to one human, have I been forsaken?
Gunther: Yes, you're doing great, as am I, I'm killing it on-
Kiri: More like killing my eardrums.
Norway: Not that human.
Kiri: Picky, aren't we? Don't worry, I won't poison your applesauce...wink!
Norway: Who just SAYS 'wink'? You're supposed to DO IT.
Liberia: I can torment you. I can make your life hell. Stop trying to write my creative writing assignment for me, my ideas are good enough on their own.
Gunther: I'm just saying, it may alarm your teacher if you write about that horrific crap.
Liberia: Well, what's a story without an evisceration?
Gunther: School-appropriate?
Liberia: Don't be so uptight, you're married to my mother after all.
Libs is much happier about the Vampire Lore than her sister.
Libby: Actually most of it is boring. But this part is about some grisly vampire killers...I'm getting some inspiration here, let me tell you that!
Elin: You are so puny and dramatic.
Gunther: Well drink it in wife, you're looking at the virtuoso! I've really killed it on violin this time - skill maxed, thank you ma'am.
Now all he needs to do is mentor someone for a few hours and bam, aspiration completed
Elin: Not sure if I like this new Gunther.
You already didn't like him that much.
Elin: Now I saw that story you wrote, it is quite evil but-
Liberia: Lemme guess, more advice? I mean according to you it's evil to have your tits out at the table so-
Elin: Don't shame me.
Liberia: You really aren't all that. Couldn't you guess that now I wanna shame you more. Fat cow.
Elin: OK, watch it there Missy, or that story is shredded up and thrown into the pool!
Gunther: Sooo...Elin definitely cheated on me for this one. But...she might as well have been cloned.
Thanks for not having red hair, Oman.
Oman: My pleasure? What's this weird man ranting about, can he put me down?
Despite the lack of red hair, Oman is so cute that I love her anyway. Also, She looks a liiiittle bit different to her siblings. So...hope?
She is also fussy, so that's points off though.
Oman: I wasn't aware of a ranking system.
Oman: And now I slumber. Eternally. Somebody write something cool on my gravestone.
Dear lord this child.
Oman: Kidding! Though this house is purgatory anyway.
Kiri: Sparkles give me headaches.
Hurry up, eat your omelette and read your vampire lore.
Kiri: And the headache worsens!
Liberia: Oh, sister, you make my day better. GOD I love misery.
Kiri: You were never supposed to be meaner than me!
Mauritius: You're right, Lib, misery loves company. As in, our company. :)
Liberia: Good boy. I mean, evil boy.
Elin: Sure, sure, anything that creates better children...robot what are you doing?
Ice King: I'm a hairdryer!
Meanwhile the kiddies raise themselves...
Oman: Blue bear is best friend.
Norway: Bearst friend!
Oman:...D I E
Oman: Pathetic.
Gunther:...
Oman: Hopeless...crushed...downtrodden...
Gunther: Stop it I'm trying to work.
Oman: Just learning :) my skills :)
Oman: SHOOT he can pick me up...
Norway: Ooohhhh snap!
Gunther: Maybe. Maybe I could. Drop. Fall. Injury. I'm a writer and I learn words too.
Norway: OK but you should know those already if you're an author.
Oman: Motheerrrr...
Elin: Uh, hi kid.
Gunther: She's creepy, that one.
Elin: Don't judge my children, Gunther.
That's nice.
Elin: -yet, we can judge them once they're older and their lameness is sealed for life.
Mauri: Ah, I truly am the best of this family.
Liberia: Yes yes, you're a spellcaster. We both got our As today, y'know.
Kiri: Well I already had mine-
Liberia: But you smell like tuna fish. Just stay over there.
Kiri: Well!
Elin+Lib: Head of the table, my rightful place!...Besides I don't have to sit next to anyone, ew.
Gunther: Woohoo, time to get rid of one more of you little critters.
Norway: Pls no, I'm too young to get a job.
Gunther: You can stay, there's a bed in the dormitory with India's name on it...but you can take it over.
Gunther: Grind never ends.
Mauri: Bitch I'm already level 9, plus a spell-
Gunther: Caster, I know. This isn't for you, it's for me.
Denmark: Mum's still poppin' em out, huh?
Uh, hi Bob the Builder.
There's Norway madeover behind him.
There he is! He's so cute, though he does look a lot like Elin.
He's Outgoing with the Scamp aspiration.
Elin is back inventing her her basement.
Elin: HAAAAAhahahaha! Take over the world with me, robot!
Fixer-Bot: Uh...I could fix the computer for you?
Gunther's affair baby with Anna was born.
Jordan: Hey mum how's it hanging.
Elin: Must we pretend to take an interest in each other's lives?
Elin: Also wow, he really did get fat for his birthday.
Az's son walked past. He's hella cute, even if the game named him Donald. SMH
The Morning...
Liberia: Goddammit Kiribati how do you still smell? Was the tuna I put in your locker really that bad?
Kiribati: You what now! How could you.
Liberia: Oh cry about it more, go run to Gunther.
Gunther: Actually, don't. One peaceful breakfast, please.
Norway: Well there's no time to unpack all of that..I'mma just hide in the shower.
Elin: Hurry up girls, read your lore.
Liberia: Isn't it funny that I'm younger but barely half a level behind-
Kiribati: That's your bloodlust showing, Libs.
Liberia: Oh like you don't have any bloodlust.
Kiri: Of course, but far less graphic. I can be more skilled anyway-
Elin: It's not a competition.
Norway: Well make it one, I need entertainment for my eggs.
Liberia: Y'know this will be you one day.
Mauritius: Y'know I won't need this as a spellcaster-
Elin: *yells* No exceptions, even for my favourite.
Libs+Kiri: Suck it!
Mauri: Hey you two finally agree on something.
Oman: Hey UM I just discovered the frickin' SUN!
Tbh when I saw that this was Norway's default swimwear I was gonna make fun of it, but he's rocking it.
Norway: Like a boss.
Plus there's nothing wrong with gender nonconformity. Elin'll mock you for other reasons, kid.
Norway: Oooh, let her try.
To finish of the three hours of mentoring, Gunther helps out Kiri, who's almost done with the shitting vampire lore.
Gunther: You suck! You're killing our ears.
Kiri: Pretty sure you stole that joke off one of us!
Gunther: Well I was never this bad, I've been killing it for years.
Norway is living the PruneLife. Unlike kids H-J, he seems to be enjoying it.
Norway : The water is just so beautiful and relaxing...and there's my arm. Can somebody help me reattach it?
Libs: I know you guys stash snacks up here...gimme one!
Elin: I'm kind of in a very vulnerable spot right now...oh fine, just take 'em.
Libs: That was kind of the plan.
Elin: I know dear. That's why I let it happen. I'm so proud. Now, who's my precious little merbaby?
Paraguay: Me!
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