The Name Game - 1.4

 

Jude: We may be poor...but we live in paradise, and I've never felt better!

Jude is feeling good about the fact that he's doing well with the fitness skill.

Also damn he's got ripped.


Tosca's at home dealing with their stroppy little daughter.

Tosca: You're not making me like you kid! Stop throwing your damn food!

Ophira: Whatever you glorified balloon!

Tosca: My weight is not on trial here!


Thirza's home.

Thirza: Cool, this one looks like me.

Sanjiv: *snore* Who's sitting on me...

Thirza: Life is tough, little bro.


Tosca maxed knitting.

Tosca: Finally, I'm Lady of the Knits!

Unfortunately your aspiration's a little harder than that.


Darius: Oh, GOD! Can't believe I saw that I'm so embarrassed.

What, a kid on the potty?

Darius: *shudder*

Keep in mind this man has a kid.


Darius: Don't give up the day job, kid.

Thirza: One can't drop out of school until they're 16. Besides, would I really risk moneymaking in order to pursue a path with low chances of success?

Darius: Your dad is a wannabe athlete and your mother sells knitted goods online. Don't blame me for wondering.


The next morning begins like this.

Tosca: Always *retch* a good start!


Ophira wakes up pissy.

Ophira: They didn't feed me!

Thirza: Uh yeah, they did, you just threw it.

Ophira: It's a FUN GAME!

Thirza:...Not for us, dummy!


Sanjiv: DAMN my sisters can scream...

He's happy to vibe by himself.

Sanjiv: You got that right, I"m not in the mood for any of that mess!

He's really chunky which is weird. Jude's in excellent shape and Tosca's got a little thick but she's only about 2/3 up the fat bar.


You two need to STOP sometimes.

Jude: If only we weren't so busy, I'd take you in a second...

Tosca: But I'm so pregnant!

Jude: As if that matters!

Tosca: Oh you.


Nice little family morning. 

Jude: Look at your mother, Sanjiv. Isn't she incredible.

Tosca: OK, switch the wool...how do you knit polka dots again?

Sanjiv: Mhm..that's kind of cool...

Ophira: My horse could kick all your asses.


Tosca: Well, here you go Darius.

Darius: You invited me over specifically to give me this?

Tosca: Yes. It's gonna fulfil my life goals!

Darius: That just makes me mistrust this...

Tosca: Just take it! I made it myself.

Darius: Still doesn't reassure me.


Darius: Ugly socks. If this is for your life goals you could have tried harder. No thanks!

Tosca: If you weren't my brother in law I'd punch you.


Why are you throwing up again, you're in your 3rd trimester?

Tosca: Uh...that's how much Darius disgusts me?

No, try again.

Tosca: Fine!...I ate something weird out the back of the fridge.


Tristan: More socks?

Tosca: Maybe. Just open the box, Tris, I have no qualms about punching you.

Tristan: Tossie I'm not gonna fight a pregnant woman.

Tosca: Exactly! Take my gift!


Tristan: ZOMG yaaaay I love them!

Tosca: Aw, I knew they'd be perfect for you.


Sanjiv: NO!

Jude: But you said you wanted a hug.

Sanjiv: Well I changed my mind you scrub.

Jude: I'm so confused.

That's what happens when you breed Sutherlands, m'dear.

Also it's dark as shit because the power got shut off (oops) and there's no windows.


Tosca: yay, I made a sale. Just as I was worried nobody would want my knitted plants.

That and we can almost pay the bills now.

Tosca: Yeah that too...but dang, that validation. I knew knitted plants were a moneymaker!


Tristan: Wow, you got them both on the same napping schedule? Good job.

Tosca: Lol no this is a lucky coincidence, they sleep when they want to.


Thirza: Cool, screentime. Anyway, have you seen my drawings, Mum?

Tosca: Well...had to sell them off for a few dollars apiece. Tourists really will buy anything 'beachy'.

Thirza: That checks out.

Tosca: But we don't need to do that anymore after this one...as long as it's worth at least $8. Then we can get our power back!

Thirza: Oy vey.


Thirza: At least someone appreciates my art.

Sanjiv: Lol I could play better than this in my sleep.


Thirza: Well this new stove looks like shit.

Tosca, yelling across the room: Craigslist, $235!

Thirza: Really? Looks like it came out a dumpster.


Thirza: We call it an electrical hazard. Consequences - electrocution?

Sanjiv: What's a consequence?

Thirza: Whatever happens after you do something stupid. For example, losing power for a day because you didn't save enough to pay your bills? Consequence.

Don't @ me Thirza.


Thirza: Hey, Mum's in labour.

Jude: Wait, what - Tosca, come to the hospital now-

Tosca: Relax. I ran out of fucks to give about this process around Ophira's birth. Lemme eat my hotdog first.


This is Cybil. She has the dark blue colour seen in Dipper and Aldebaran from the PG challenge, but nowhere else really. Tosca went by herself this time to someone could look after the kids, lol.

Also now it's Ophira's birthday.


Jude does the honours.


She's cute even when dissatisfied.

Ophiar: That was underwhelming.

She got the Child of the Ocean trait, with the Whiz Kid aspiration. Hasdoifahsfoiagh we have to get new skilling objects ugh.

Ophira: Why do we have to be so poor?


Ophira: I mean, seriously. Jeez. My parents clearly aren't smart so I'll be smart for them.

Whiz Kid aspiration!


Tosca what.

Tosca: Lol I'm done. Just done. Took care of the baby for hours and now the toddler needs a bath.

That's what happens when there's four kids.

Tosca: Not my choice.


First, Sanjiv just had to meet his new sibling.

Sanjiv: Ah, this works. Now I don't have to be the youngest and y'all will leave me alone.

Tosca: You're a weird kid.


Jude reads to Ophira for her aspiration.

Ophira: Ah, thank you for taking time out of your busy day. Dance, monkey.

Jude: Right. Ahem, once upon a time-


Tosca: Dammit, I was hoping to keep those socks. They were LEGENDARY.

Which is exactly why it's good they sold.

Tosca: And now I have to buy Ophira's things instead of that hot tub...

...You live by the OCEAN.


Ophira also met her new sibling. Predictably she's not happy.

Oohira; If I lose out on that chemistry set because of your nappies, curtains for you!

Cybil: *confused wailing*


Sanjiv listens to this story as well.

Ophira: What the hell Dad you're not even holding a book!

Jude: It's a memory test, dear!

Ophira: Seriously?

Sanjiv: He's gotta keep his old brain active somehow, Phira...

Jude: That's just mean.

Tosca: Lol that's my boy. Also why is my ass shot in this family picture?


As Jude left for work, Tristan decided to show up.

Tristan: Nobody's gonna invite me in?!

Jude, yelling: Just go in the door, as if we lock up every time!


Tristan: I was gonna swing. How did you two rope me into this?

Tosca: Thanks for helping out, as you can see I am soooo busy- *rocks on chair*

Ophira: Shush mother, clearly it's because my face is irresistible.

Tosca: I mean we kind of have the same face.

Tristan: Ooh, snap.


Tristan: Right, that's your work done. Now i'm gonna have that swim.

Ophira: Play chess with me.

Tristan: Now why do I need to do that?

Ophira; I said so.

Thirza: That's not a very persuasive argument. You two make me sad.

Ophira: Your face makes me sad.

Thirza: We kind of have the same face.

Tristan: If I play with one of you will you two stop bickering?

Ophira: Mission accomplished. Let's go Uncle Tris.


Ophira: Mmm, interesting move.

Sanjiv: Mmm! Interesting move!

Ophira: Ignore my little shadow there, Uncle.

Sanjiv's working on thinking today so he just follows the other members of the house around, watching them as they try to live their lives.


Ophira: Seriously, stop following me or I'll dropkick you off this porch.

Sanjiv: Try me.

Leila: So...he usually just wanders around outside-

Ophira: Hey, if I had it my way my parents would have stopped after me.

Leila: I mean...three is definitely enough for those two.

Ophira: They have four now.

Leila: Of course they do.


Leila: Hey, Jude.

Jude: Isn't my family beautiful? Our family, of course, sorry Tos-

Leila: Sure, but you guys seem a little...how should I say...constantly overwhelmed?

Jude: What? Nonsense!


The next morning, Thirza completes her Artistic Prodigy aspiration.

Thirza: Ah, four days left of childhood to run about the beach, do what I want-

Tosca: First, help Ophira with those damn chess games, we're all sick of her asking.


Tosca why do you want this. And why am I actually gonna let you?


Tosca: Look, the voice says I need five kids, so let's just make the fifth. We're not getting any younger.

Jude: But we only have $80 - I'll open up that odd jobs app and see what I can do.

Tosca: And we can sell Cybil's crib! It'll be fine.

Will it tho.


This is just what happens here now.

Jude: Ugh...yeah...feel the burn!

Sanjiv: Dad's just as weird as Mum, and also? He's not on fire.

Jude: I'm still feeling twenty-five!

Sanjiv: He was at one thirty seconds ago.


Tosca: We did it.

Jude: Promise me this is the last time.

Tosca: No, you promise me. I'm the one who's been pregnant all this time!


Jude is flirty and therefore practices pick-up lines for charisma.

Sanjiv: Dad's - Mum what's he saying about your-

Tosca: Ohohoho ignore that sweetie, your dad doesn't have a clue what he's on about...*whisper* Yeah he does, thanks babe.

Jude: This house is too small.


Tosca: Why the HELL are they making you do maths that hard at your age?

Thirza: Is this your version of helping us?

Tosca: Hey, fuck the system, right?!

Thirza: Is that why you don't have a job.

Ophira: Why are you pregnant again?


Tosca: Will this make it better? I made it myself. For both you AND your sister. 

Ophira: Well now I'm less excited.

Thirza: Why would you have been excited? You know our mother, right?

Tosca: Every time you roast me I'm prouder of you.


Leila's here again. She likes hanging out with the kids.

Ophira: Thank you for the sandwich, Ms Leila. I mean, smoked salmon, you shouldn't have.

Leila: -it's no problem. Your parents should really be looking after you.

Ophira: Yes, I never get fed. It's sad. Dinner last night was some tourist's leftovers and half a coconut.


And of course, like most visitors, she got roped into chess. Thirza's new aspiration is Whiz Kid so...

Thirza: Well, they're not anti-intellectuals. They're just not very bright.

Leila:...I wonder if my kids say the same about me...


Thirza: You guys built yourself a bedroom. For the love of God use it.


Tristan and Kala had their second child.


Cybil: WHEEEE

Jude: Oh God don't fall your mother would kill me.

Nah she'd find it funny most likely.

Cybil: Let's go falling!


Sanjiv: Please not on the highchair!

Tosca: *gag*


She's a Charmer. And very cute.

Cybil: Bitch please.

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