OK, beach bar outing and then we move on with this generation.
Sangria: Must we? Why do you always take us to bars, Mum? And why the beach, it's 6pm.
Rivella: It's night and I couldn't be bothered to change out my swimsuit.
Pepsi: Not a bad plan, I'm sure they'll come flocking.
Sprite: Grandma please.
Kezia: Don't wanna look at any of you.
Rivella: Wow....so interesting.
Riv you're not erratic, why are you talking to yourself.
Rivella: You see I'm such a good mother I have a psychic link to my children. And Bellini's stories are crap. That one inherited no charisma.
Bellini: And I have to spend the rest of my teenage years stuck in the first trimester of pregnancy-
Pepsi: Lol that's on you. I've had men but you didn't catch me with a child!
Sprite: So. You're ageing up this update methinks. If anybody at the high school gives you trouble, let me know. I'll use it, I mean stop it.
Sangria: Oh...OK.
Kezia: Atta girl, Sprite.
Kezia: Well, Sprite's your best hope as a granddaughter-
Sprite: Hell yeah I am, You wouldn't catch me getting pregnant at 15 or caring about people.
Kezia: See?
Pepsi: Is this whose approval you're gonna try for?
Sprite: Who else should it be? You?
Kezia: Awww snap.
I sent them all to 'Make Many Sandcastles'. Let's see what they recreate.
Rivella: What are you building, honey?
Sangria: Some form of dream house. You?
Rivella: Demonic possession reenactment. Really in vogue. Wanna combine?
Sangria:...I'm good.
Rivella: Yeah, too good.
Sangria: Why do y'all say that like it's bad.
I got everyone started on one except these two.
Bellini: Fuck you and your sand, I'm not a child and I have an actual baby in me.
Sprite: In these heels? Girl please. I'm already having trouble walking.
Sangria did a better job of modelling demon possession than her mother ever could.
Sangria: I just need to pee!
Sprite: What are we making again?
Pepsi: Volcano.
Bellini: Cool, I'll participate if someone gives me actual matches!
Later, Riv and Kezia had a nice autonomous hug...
Sangria: So you two can love...just not us, or other people.
Kezia: It's not that deep, kid. We're touch-starved and your noodle arms aren't gonna do it.
Pepsi: You know I haven't been hugged in a-
Rivella: No.
Sangria: I'll hug you I guess.
Kezia: Hey, remember the bet we made?
Rivella: Ah.
Pepsi: I'm curious but I shouldn't be.
Rivella: Look away, San.
Sangria: Oh God.
Kezia: Whip it off!
Pepsi: That crazy bitch. This is gold, glad I got to be her mother in some way.
Kezia: Just look into my eyes, dearest.
Sangria: I don't want to, they're full of spite.
Sprite: Hey, Bell. Behind you is some crazy naked lady running about.
Bellini: What? No way! Nighttime beaches, huh.
Sprite: She's got loads of tattoos, and hair just like y-
Sprite: Well. Now I'm traumatised. I didn't need to see that much of mum.
Bellini: LOOOOL rip you.
Sprite: Seriously, I need some brain bleach.
Bellini: *snicker*
Rivella: Haters gonna hate. But I know I still look good.
Back at home...
Pepsi: So, dear, maybe it's time to discuss your impending-
Bellini: Nope. What do you even know? And before you say anything, your clone giving birth to my mother and aunties is not experience!
Rivella: I myself have had four-
Bellini: Four too many. And I can't look you in the eyes.
Pepsi: That was a weird thing to do, Riv.
Rivella: I told you I lost a bet to Kezia.
Sprite: What's good?
Bellini:...Nothing. Nothing's good. Make her stop.
Rivella: - that body made you, y'know? Now that you're going to be a mother-
Bellini: Sprite needs your help to manipulate, uh, some girl-
Sprite: No, I've got it handled, keep going Mum. I bet she needs to hear this.
Bellini: I'll kill you.
Cola: What? I'm not gonna stay in the city alone.
Sigh, whatever. This guy looks kind of cool.
Nicola: This house is a fucking nightmare!
Sangria: Zzz...I know right?
Her wife is also out haunting.
Lux: Sorry...was that a foetus? You're only - what has this family come to?
Sprite: Ow...feet hurt so much...
Lux: Ugh, and that one can't even wear heels?
Bellini: Lol paint fumes.
The morning...
Rivella: What is it, my little prince of darkness?
Onyx:....I was injured by a squirrel.
Rivella: Ah, you got your ass kicked. Tell me if you're sick, sweetie.
Sangria's upset this morning.
Sangria: Some random called me and said my aunt died. Since when did I even have an aunt Kayleigh?
Kala's sister.
Sangria: My deadbeat mother?
Yeah.
Sprite: Hey, San. Not gonna get far up the social ladder if all you do is draw.
Sangria: I'm drawing my auntie.
Sprite: Well, I think Onyx ate the purple crayon so you might have a problem there.
Sangria: My DEAD auntie.
Sprite:...Do I need to call them?
Sprite's club is gathering. Even though she's still a kid we can't exclude her best friend Kaitlin.
Marina: Aww look we're babysitting too.
Laura: I cannot be bothered to listen to anything you people say.
Kaitlin: When I have my birthday it's so over for you bitches.
Bellini: Uh...so I'm pregnant and this room has become my worst nightmare.
Sprite: Come on Bell. Love the people. Interact with them. Bare your soul.
Pepsi: I can do that! I've got so many stories-
Sprite:...That's OK, Grandma.
Kala's ex-husband is here. Why?
Tim:. I just...need to know. Before I die. Who made her stray?
Stop being dramatic. I checked MC and you have like two weeks.
This girl, Rocio, is a potential spouse for either Sprite or Sangria.
Rocio: Why thanks, I know I'm hot. I can bring that and my passion for music to this group!
Ashlee: Bitch you're not all that, I've got looks and moves too!
Grenadine has followed her sister into middle-age.
Grenadine: I'm nothing like - oh, right, I guess everyone ages.
Yep, pretty much without exception.
Bell retreated to the painting shed with Kezia.
Bellini: Thank you so much for-
Kezia: No talking, I'm in here to avoid socialisation too.
Bellini: You get me.
Kezia: Girl. Shush.
Onyx: I mean, I was thinking about chasing her away but then I like, didn't want to-
Sasha: You think I'm scared of cats? I grew up watching my dad's duels!
This girl just looks really cool. She's like a spiritual successor to Gemma Charm. And she picked herself a nice outfit!
Why is she here though?
Sasha: This is the house of crazy, and I gotta check it out, right?
Aperol's here to visit.
Aperol: Oh, Kristine my love. When will you graduate school?
Owl: Maybe not the best thing to wail that in public, dude.
Bellini: Hey, Apps. How's Auntie Gin-Fizz's?
Aperol: Not bad! Now how's everything going with, y'know-
Bellini: No time, my baby daddy's here!
Aperol: You pointed that out to annoy me!
Bellini: Absolutely, goodbye!
Bellini:...Wait.
Sprite: Hey, what's got you down. Aperol?
Aperol: Got a phone call...
Sangria: Heeeeeeeyyyyy did some distant relative you were never able to form a relationship with die? Related to that crazy old ghost?
Aperol: How'd you know?
Sangria: Samesies :(
Aperol: But I think I know how to get over my grief and distract myself.
Sprite: Pray tell.
Bellini: It better not be...
Aperol: Bellini's idiot boyfriend is in the house and I'm gonna beat his ass.
Sangria: Really. You're gonna beat up a teenager? Pedestal broken, I have no role models.
Rivella: So nice to see all my children together.
Aperol: But, SAN-
Sprite: Maybe just stop caring about people, thought of that?
Bellini: I'm gonna go find Johnny. We're gonna have SEX.
Aperol: BELLINI - I have too many sisters.
Sprite: Tbf I'd probably let one of those girls in my club-
Aperol: All of you stop talking!
Pepsi: Ooh, cake!
Berry: Sssstupid woman...
Bellini: Oh, I'm watching this, Enjoy the cake Grandma.
Kezia: Absolutely not! Write that all out again.
Sprite: But Keziaaaaa...
Kezia: No! You think that note is believably from a high-school boy? Try harder...next, we do your algebra!
Understandable.
Sangria hit Level 8 creativity (she's gonna make that aspiration!) and can draw a 'Monster'...
Sprite: This monster represents my feelings.
You feel calm? Serene?
Sangria: How else? After that disastrous kitchen conversation I've shut some stuff off.
Rivella: Ooooh...bubbles! They smell kinda funky. Maybe I could weaponise this-
You remind me of your mother when you do that.
Rivella:...Don't.
Rivella: See, I'm helping you guys with your homework.
Sangria: Mum I can't use these ideas in an elementary school assignment.
Bellini: Can you just do the damn sums?
Rivella: I'm nothing like my mother, right girls? Right?
Sangria: Well, we never knew her.
Rivella: Which is good, I'm much better.
Ehhhhh...probably not.
Sangria: But...why not? I'll be a good friend!
Onyx: Absolutely not, vanilla child. I don't need your help to stay out the bushes-
Sangria: But you're like, 90 in cat years.
Onyx: BEGONE, TH - OK I won't actually call the child that.
oh FINALLY.
Grenadine: Maybe this one'll look different to the rest of the family so she gets off our back-
Gene: Yes please. I don't really want another one after this, I've already gone shiny from stress-
Alejandra: All I can do now is drown my sorrows in the family's grilled cheese. I hope it was a child's breakfast.
Pepsi: Now THIS is what I wanted to do in my CloneLife..of course, after getting my fill of humans.
She's crushing Nerd Brain right now.
Pepsi: Sam...my love, hiiiii. Yes I'm the one with the pretty daughters. But - yes, I know I'm eighty. Are you coming over or not?
Rivella: Sorry. My 'mother' is unavailable. And Gin-Fizz lives in Britechester now. But there's always me.
Samuel: And what would I want with you?
Rivella: I was about to invite you swimming.
Samuel: Fine!
Rivella: God I hate this creepy twat.
Samuel: What was that?!
Rivella: Why, nothing, handsome.
Rivella: Our new pool-house is in rather a sorry state. It's...under construction.
Samuel: Not a problem, now come join me!
Rivella:...Aaand you're already right in my space. Whatever. Gimme a minute, sweetie?
Bellini:....Why do we have a new pool-house? We already have a really nice pool.
Uh...
Bellini: Oh f- not again! I thought she was over that phase. If I have to speak to a policeman I'm gonna cut a bitch.
Rivella: Goodbye forever, Samuel.
Just imagine them yelling around the rocket.
Pepsi: What are you doing here?
Sprite: This is better than watching Mum go swimming with some creep in our new shitty poolhouse!
Pepsi: Why'd Rivella built a poolhouse? We have a nice outdoor pool!
Sprite: Beats me!
Aaaand finally, Sangria.
Sangria: Brb, channelling all my feelings about my family dysfunction into violin practice.
Sangria: So...why is there a shack outside?
Bellini You really don't know?
Sangria: I kinda do, given what's happened to Aperol's dad. It's so awful...
Bellini: I know, there better not be an inquest. Or, worse..a new sibling!
Sangria: What is wrong with this family?
Sprite: Heeeey girl, come on in.
Ashlee: Uh, Sprite? I'm over here.
Sprite: Oh, sorry. Gotta practice your inflections, amirite?
Ashlee: Excellent material, right?
Sprite: Oh, definitely. I'm gonna use this to keep Laura in my pocket forever.
Ashlee: Can't believe she'd trust me like that.
Sprite: I know, it's almost like we're supposed to be friends.
Ashlee: As if, this is all just for power.
Sprite: You know it!
Ashlee: That weirdo loner redhead from school is in your bathroom eating salad.
Sprite: Oh, ignore that and keep throwing the trash away, minion.
Samuel:...She never came back. Oh well, she did look good in that swimsuit. I'm out!
Lol no you're not, sorry dude.
Pepsi: Why are you eating that?
Sprite: Wrong leftovers?
Pepsi: There's a label!
Sprite: Fine, sorry. Whose were they?
Pepsi: Nobody's, it said 'Warning: could kill!'
Sprite: Mum's then.
Ashlee: Now this, this is a story. Pray tell, ladies?
Sprite: Aha, that's just...my crazy grandma being crazy, y'know!
Bellini: Cover our tracks please, Mother. I don't want to speak to anybody.
Rivella: Now what is she talking about, sweet prince? Silly girl!
Onyx: Don't condescend, we've known you way too long and we know exactly what's up.
Kezia: Look who's here.
Johnny:...And I'll be like Robin Hood, taking from the rich...running a crime gang, evading taxes! All for us, Bell! And that kid that's buffering inside you.
Kezia: Mhm. Suuuuure you'll do that.
Bellini: Kezia do you mind?
Kezia: Psh. It's a shame. She's so boring that Onyx is sleeping. Rivella's most boring kid isn't even that talented.
Sangria: I can hear you!
Kezia: Right. Sorry. How can I call you the most boring when Appleboy exists?
Sangria: Aperol.
Kezia: Exactly!
Sangria:...What?
Sangria: Aperol! Hi! I completed my aspiration!
Aperol: Good for you kid, it's not like we all did that too.
Sangria: If you're gonna be mean to me, you can have this nice plate of sushi. The Watcher's making me take it back.
Aperol: For heaven's - do none of you read the labels?
WHOMST is haunting this gravestone?
Sugar: This entire area smells like death and destruction!
Samuel: HELP
Berry: It's OK...you are no meal, cat...
The morning...
Rivella: So Mum died. Not Pepsi, she's still kicking. Woman snores like a train. My real mum.
Don't tell me you have latent issues with her.
Rivella: I think those have been blatant my entire life. She ignored me, then put me in charge of my siblings to run off with her wife. There. Blatant.
Sangria: :( Why do we keep getting calls about relatives we never knew, Sprite?
Sprite: Beats me, kid. Now, do you think $5 is a good price for a mourning veil or should I check eBay?
Sangria:...Don't even know why I bothered talking to you.
Rivella: No need to be sad when I have an Onyx around. You can fill every void in my soul, sweet prince!
Onyx: I mean, I'm getting pretty old-
Rivella: Shhhhhh
Samuel's still here.
Samuel: It's almost as if...they want revenge. But why, I've been so nice and complimentary, even let the old lady-
Nah, she let you. Enjoy your fate!
Samuel: Can't...stay...up....this is a human l-uuuuurgh! *sinks*
Grim: Miss Rivella. Thought you'd be happy to see me.
Rivella: I am, about this idiot who drowned by accident in my poolhouse. I'm rather upset about my mother.
Grim: I suppose everyone has loved ones.
Rivella: Well, sure. But...did she say anything? About any of us?
Grim: Let me think...Cola Kahanui, nee Sutherland? She said...take me to Ivy. And. And something about the G girls.
Rivella: So not me then.
Grim: ...
Grim: Anyway, thanks for the extra soul! Might get a promotion for this one, whoooohoo!
Rivella: Yeah...good for you, Grim.
Kezia: Oh so you completed your final goal, Riv. How do you feel?
Rivella: Meh. The void remains.
Pepsi; Didn't you think she'd be happier, Grim?
Grim: Sure. Whatever. Do you guys have Hulu?
Kezia: Yeah, password's onyx43.
Pepsi: Well, thanks for taking his soul. Prick...
Rivella went to eat the cake, and I let her to get rid of the sadness.
Rivella: Well, Berry. If I must feel the void, I'd like the crushing sadness to depart. Take my emotions, take it all..
Berry: Stop monologuing! I hunger for a meal...
Kezia: Welcome to my shack.
Rivella: Why, thank you.
Kezia: Artistry can help you with the void...why do you think I paint so much?
Rivella: I dunno. Avarice?
Kezia: OK that, but also because...I dunno, feelings. I'm bad at this.
Kids are home and useless check!
Sprite: C'mon Bell, get off your phone and play to win or go home!
Bellini: We are at home. And this won't take a second. Just getting updates...and there he is, alone at home eating cereal. Better not be waiting for anyone-
Sprite: UGH your man ain't all that, pretty sure you're the ONLY girl he could get. So quit stalking him and play the game!
Sangria: Can you be my friend, cat? I'm sad...
Onyx: Mmm, fine I guess.
Sangria: Really? Thank you!
Onyx: That's a pretty sad overreaction, I don't suddenly love you like I do your moth - CRAP.
Dammit San why do you have to be so cute even when you're stretching?
Sangria: I'm not stretching, I'm doing my interpretative take on the chicken dance.
Our favourite couple, Gen 1's Nix, are out haunting.
Lux: We're the only real couple in this legacy.
Nicola: Sometimes I'm ashamed of where this family's gone.
Lux: You got yourself into that when you married a Sutherland. Now I'mma go work out, those urns are TINY.
Sprite: I've got all I needed out of that grief shebang. Take it away, Berry. Let 'em eat cake.
Berry: Quit pissing around and give me my meal...
Bellini: #2ndtrimester #baby #teenparenting Now that'll be a good one for Insta, you can even see my boobs!
Lux: Oh lord...she said what? Maybe Nic has a point.
Oh get off your high horses, you old biddies.
Lux: Meh, I guess we were scammers.
Pepsi: Thank you for indulging an old lady in her last days, Isaiah.
Isaiah: Eh, you were the best I've ever had.
Pepsi: Why thank you.
Maybe he hasn't got around much.
Pepsi: Anyway would you like one last round before I'm off?
After the deed...
Sangria: UH, why are you in the bathroom? Also the science shower is making a real weird sound.
Isaiah: Uh...I'm a friend of your grandma's?
Sangria:....Right. I've had enough of that. Please leave now. Tell her on the way out to stop breaking the damn science shower. Also, hope you were safe.
Isaiah: How do you-
Sangria: Listen, I'm the youngest of four and I hear a lot. My older brother always muttered it at their backs.
Sangria: Well, here goes! Independence, one step closer!
Sangria: OK, I'm aware of the vibe I cultivate, but this is too much.
Don't worry I'mma fix it.
Sangria: Much better. For one thing, I now have a chin.
San here is self-assured with the bestselling author aspiration.
Next time Bellini is gonna have the baby, grow up, and get out.
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