Tosca: My Pinterest feed is soooo uninteresting.
I'd be more worried about your detaching eyelashes girl, but whatever.
Tristan: Let's wrap up this arc. My identity is...being cool and confident in myself.
Catalina: Laaaaame.
Mason: Why is this my legacy.
Catalina: Again, we've heard Auntie Danika's stories and our family was already shameful.
Mason: Ugh, these ungrateful kids never help around the house-
Catalina: Ahem.
Besides Mason, you don't even do anything.
Mason: I'm ex-TH! I'm allowed to relax!
Catalina: Ooh, look, I have a foot on the dance floor...except I don't, that's super-lame and I would never dance with you.
Dylan: That's...that's *sniffle* fine.
Dylan: Ah, my kids are breaking my heart...
Tosca: Yeah yeah Dad, you let yourself get bullied by us. Whose fault is that? Now...gimme the rest of that sandwich.
Dylan: Why?
Tosca: Just do it!
Dylan:...Alternatively.
Tosca: Ugh, how'd you pull that one over me!
Dylan: Took the burger out of the fridge and offered it to you, weirdo.
Tosca: Hey pot, I'm kettle!
Dylan: So you agree. I'm secure in myself and my weirdness. Are you?
Catalina: Hiiiii...how's the breakage going?
Mason: *gasp* Just great, honey! Ow my chest!
Tristan: See? Confident. Cool. Competent.
Please don't set a fire.
Tosca: Please do, I need something to liven up my morning. Plus it's you, Tris, so it's likely.
Tristan: Really? But I'm all those C-words!
....
He was actually fine and made a nice lot of Asado. Yay for Jungle Adventure recipes.
Mason: And now...my last days. Spent in this basement, without a chess opponent to speak of!
Since when do you like chess?
Mason: A man needs a HOBBY OK!
Dylan: Oh, Mr S, I'll always play a game with you!
Mason:...Never mind, I hate chess.
Dylan: I know he likes chess! I overheard it! I think he just doesn't like...me.
Tristan: *spaced-out, could not give less of a fuck* What was that?
Tosca: We're not big fans of you either, Dad.
God, that face. She wasn't even in a bad mood. Cheerful my ass.
Missy: Cool, an eternal nap.
Tosca: Ooh, who are you calling pretty? Me? Why thank you...you're so right.
Catalina: This salmon tastes as shit as your dress sense.
Tristan:...Y'know, there's a point where you go past 'DGAF' and get to 'being straight-up mean'.
Catalina: Well. I still 'DGAF'. So I don't really care what you think. Both are fun.
Tristan:...Shoulda known that might backfire.
Catalina: Yeah you really should've. Idiot.
Missy: Welp. Time to go hit on people in that retirement chatroom.
...
Missy: What? I'm flirty. And it's not like Mason's giving me attention anymore. That was a bad choice on your part, our marriage has tanked.
Sahara: Well well well. Seems like we're the latest sleepers.
Xavier: We're the only ones who slept properly. They've all been awake.
Sahara: Huh. Wonder what they've been up to.
Read upwards.
Mermaid Tosca. Dunno why I made her kinda gothy but it works.
Tosca: Fuck off I'm absorbing the energies of the oceans.
This is a pool.
Tosca: Fuck off!
Later, Tristan also absorbs the energies of the oceans.
Tristan: Zzzzz...I could do this my whole life.
You have school tomorrow.
Xavier: O mysterious forces, why can I not simply eat?
With so many adults/teens home, they keep bothering this kid. He's in the highchair with food; Sari could manage him herself, but no, Tosca needs to check him.
Xavier: Like seriously, screw off!
Tosca: Ungrateful little brat!
Dylan: And now you know how I feel!
Meanwhile...
Mason: I miss your Auntie Aaliyah...
Sari: Lol why.
Mason: Now it's just me left...
Sari: What about Auntie Lux?
Mason: Who?
Sari: Oh lord, I'm not in the mood to deal with your creeping dementia.
Mason: Don't mind me, I'll be dead before next week.
Sari:...yikes.
Loving parental relationships everywhere, folks.
Sari: I HATE being serious.
Well you're doing a bang-up job of it.
Sari: Hmmph!
Good day Cat?
Catalina: What the hell do you think?
This is what the teens have been doing all afternoon. Napping in the pool.
Tristan: Right, time to use the toilet!
Tosca: Bet he already pissed in this pool, the little shit.
As Sari's past failures have told us - that's not actually possible.
This save is reeeeallly glitchy.
Tristan: oh GOD I walked in on Cat in the bath, woe is me!
Xavier: *pushes*
Dylan: Oh what's wrong?
Xavier: How about you and Tossie nearly starved me this morning?
Dylan: We were just trying to help you!
Xavier: That's not what it looked like to me! I want Mum.
Dylan: Oh silly Xavier, she's at work. It's me or nobody.
Xavier:...Shoot.
Xavier: I really hate you, you gibbering idiot.
Dylan: I know, kid. I know.
Mason: It's just hard to get old, and die, and see everybody else die and-
Dylan: Oh yeah TOTALLY how about that chess game then?
Mason: Why couldn't my daughter have married anybody else?
Dylan: Me and Sari, we're destiny, don't you get it?
Mason: I don't believe that. The Watcher said the same thing about Missy and look where we are now.
Dylan: From what I've heard, that's your fault.
Tristan, despite being the person who tried the least with Xavier before, is the only NTH to do something useful with him.
Tristan: And now...I must brave a bathroom again. The horror, the trauma. Of knowing Cat was in the bath, and I was thinking about using the bathroom.
Xavier: I think I might be the smartest in this family.
I think so too, little dude.
Tristan: It's just so harrowing. After what's happened...toilets scare me now.
Hey, that's an identity. A real shitty one, but...
Tristan: Get it, Dad?
Dylan: What? Oh, yeah, right. Waaaallll.
Missy: Welp. I just biffed it in the garden and nearly set two computers on fire.
I think it's time you retire, Missy.
Missy:...I think so too. I can spend more time hitting on people on Facebook Marketplace that way.
Or maybe you can keep working.
Missy: I mean...improving my marriage?
Catalina:Hey, guess what Tris. I need the BATHROOM after this.
Tristan: Oh God, o no, why would you even say that-
Dylan: Kids, isn't the bacon sandwich just the best invention ever?
Tristan: Dad shush I'm talking about more important things.
Catalina: No you're not.
Mason: Sure, have the old man do allll the dishes around here-
Catalina: Grandpa stop milking your age and just die.
Dylan: Do you ever worry about her?
Tristan: Eh. Look at her. What's she gonna do, pummel our knees?
Mason: Maybe I should go easier on you two, you will be the men of the house-
Catalina: Oh please, those two?
Dylan: Catalina who hurt you?
Catalina: You and Mum, obviously. 'Boring colouring'...I'm blue. But I'm over it now, my purpose is to watch this family fail.
Dylan:...Ha, far out, right Tris? Why are you linking arms with me?
Catalina:...So sitting and watching my siblings screw up is a good idea, right, Grandma?
Missy: Sure, whatever. Screw Mason's legacy, I hope it dies.
Catalina:...We are Granddad's legacy.
Missy: Well look at your brother over there, he's doomed to kill it.
Tristan:...Feeling a little personally attacked here.
Sari: Blinding lights...*sniff* Those were the days! Now I have to play these concertos. What the fuck is a Beethoven anyway?
Tosca: Goddammit. How long was I out for?
ALL DAY. It's 11.30pm!
Tristan: Woop woop, I can add strong to the list of those C words.
....It's a good thing you and Tosca are going to school tomorrow.
Catalina: Standing and watching...just standing and watching...
Tosca: What are you doing you little creeper? You look like a perv!
Catalina: I'm just relaxing out here. I like to observe. What are you doing?
Tosca: Grilling in my bikini!
Catalina:...Why?
Tosca: I dunno it's someone's fantasy!
Tosca: Ugh, this kitchen smells like failure. Was my Dad in here?
Yeah. Tristan too.
Tosca: That explains that. Why did they leave the tea to spoil?
(That probably explains it)
Tosca: TRIS YOU PIECE OF SHIT. Clean up after yourself!
Tristan: What?
Tosca: The tea machine is dirty, you useless lump! Me and Mum do everything around here-
Tristan: I-I think it's just Mum! And I never even drink that crap!
Tosca: WHO DOESN'T LIKE TEA?
Good old Erratic trait.
Missy: Who left that trash pile there?
...That would be you. It's OK, thank you for repairing that stereo, but-
Missy; It couldn't be me! I have way too much skill to let that happen! I will find the culprit and LAY MY WRATH-
Goodbye Missy.
Kale's wife/Dahlia's Mum had her daughter.
Sahara: Hey, Mum...do you mind leaving, I need to-
Missy: Ugh, it's just your father! Do you know how much he SNORES?
Sahara: I slept up here and you both snore like trains, I don't know how Dyl puts up with it, anyway-
Missy: And this is no way for me to spend my last days, don't you care about your mother?
Sahara: Meh...I'll find a different bathroom.
Missy: Well I never!
Mason: Goooood morning grandkids.
Tosca: Ugh he's cheerful again. Kinda preferred you depressing, Grandpa.
Tristan: Anyway, we've been up all night, unlike you, you old codger-
Mason: I'll just let you two learn your lesson on that one.
They're ISBI teens, they'll never learn.
Mason: Well I'll be gone soon and I won't have to scrape their bodies off the floor.
Tosca:....meh meh meh I'm Grandpa! How's that for an impression, kitty-cat?
Cat Toy:...I'm a TIGER. I'm scary. Rawr.
Tosca: Oh please, come and bite me then. Bring it!
Sahara: *squawk squawk* I'mma DOLPHIN!
Missy: Maybe Mason isn't the worst. Maybe our kids are.
How...nice?
Tosca: Hey, that actually kinda hurt.
Tristan: What did I do?
Mason: Morning, Miss.
Missy: It's like he's trying to annoy me!
Mason: Good morning to you to. Yes, it's so nice to be greeted, isn't it?
Missy: Get that burger out of my face before I punch you.
Dylan:...Really hope Sari and I don't end up like this.
Sari: *sigh* Leave your brother alone, Tossie.
Xavier: Woooow.
Tosca: Yeah we really do have crappy parents, kid.
Sari: Idiots. I'm growing you up, Xav. More free time!
Xavier: But I'll have school.
Sari:...For me.
Tosca: *sigh*
Dylan: Sad about your brother growing up? Don't worry, I bet I can convince your mother to go for another.
Tosca: Don't, that's even worse than high school!
Dylan: Oh, that's what's up. Well, if you had another little sibling-
Tosca: DAD.
Mason: Whoo, you go kid! Celebrating from a safe distance!
Sari: Yeah, he's not in a good state Dad, bite me!
Mason: You're the one who pointed that out.
Sari: I see why Mum hates you now.
Mason:...She hates me?
Mason: You hate me?
Missy: Lol yeah obviously. You haven't come near me in years, thought the feeling was mutual.
Tosca: For fuck's sake I've heard enough about your relationship problems. Just die alone!
Missy:...That would be worse though.
Mason: Would it?
Here he is...he got glitched so he had to have a second round of candles, but I don't care, he's finally a child. He got Whiz Kid and Goofball. Which is weird because this kid is the most serious ever.
Xavier: Maybe that was just the neglect.
Missy: Lol yeah probably.
Sahara: Shut up Mum, I did my best.
Xavier: Maybe I'll start smiling and cracking jokes everywhere.
Xavier: Grandma can you get that fork out of my shoulder?
Missy: It's character-building, sweetie.
Xavier:...Great start. Maybe things are just gonna get worse like Cat says.
Missy: See? My grandma stuck a skewer in my wrist and now look what I can do.
Xavier: That might just be your weak joints and brittle bones.
Missy: Hush, it's a great party trick.
Xavier: Since when do we have parties?
Sahara is also having a birthday. That way I can make them over at the same time.
Kai: Y'all miss me?
Not really, dude. Why are you even here?
Kai: Well, child support makes it hard to afford the best tech and you guys have that-
Sigh, come in, hop on a computer, I don't care anymore.
Sari: I TOLD YOUR WIFE EVERYTHING-
Kai: Goddammit Sari have some standards, I might be selling poisons but I'm not THAT evil.
Sari: Evil enough to cheat on your wife though?
Kai: Shut up!
Sari: Look dude, just own it. Most of my kids hate me and I'm dealing with that.
Kai: What is wrong with you?
Sari: We're Sutherlands, so...everything, Kai?
Here is kid Xavier, looking as unimpressed as ever.
Xavier: Ew.
I did my best with that outfit.
Xavier: Nah, just thinking about having to return to the real world, with those idiots.
Tamsin: you could have been more inventive with his name.
Yeah, well I was surprised by the notification when I reloaded the save so...didn't really have anything planned.
Anyway, yay Tamsin's second-born.
Kai: Nice laugh lines, sis. Not to mention the mum makeover.
Sari: Are you trying to get kicked out?
Xavier: What do you call an unattended toddler in the bath? Drowning. Luckily I'm past that sort of risk.
Oh you can still drown, trust me little dude. Also is this what passes for goofing, goofball?
Xavier: Take it or leave it.
Old Missy is excellent at naptime.
Sari: Hot cross buns...
Missy: Zzzz....shouldn't she be practicing her concert pieces?
Dylan: So my manager's just like 'blah, blah, blah'... what was that dear?
Sari: I said, do you notice anything different about me?
Dylan: Oh not at all sweetie, you look the same as the day I met you twenty years ago.
Sari: Are you sure about that.
That aside, I think it's still cute Sari took her plate out to talk to her husband.
RIP Lux. Gen 9's almost all gone now.
Dylan is enjoying the yoga room that no-one uses.
Dylan: And ommmm...maybe Sari could use that vocalisation in a beat!
Oh aren't you two supportive of each other.
Omg Xavier you little star.
Xavier: Hey, what's the thing about Tosca's unfinished homework...it's failure. Just failure.
That wasn't even a joke.
Xavier: I know. But my siblings are. Badum-tss.
Come on put some spin on it.
Xavier: I'd rather not waste my energy.
Tristan: -no I won't help you blackmail that teacher, we all worked on that essay fair and square!
Tosca: C'mon I don't wanna fail this class. And it's not like you/re doing so hot, you got a C-!
Tristan: Better than an F, bitch!
Tosca: Hey little brother, you got bigger.
Xavier: About time. I don't want of you handling me no more. You smell like scale rot and failures.
Tosca: Oh, you're 'Cheerful' too then?
Xavier: What's there to be cheerful for?
Tosca: Aww you little edgelord.
Mason: Apparently one of my sisters died today.
Yeah, the one you forgot.
Mason: That was still family. I am extremely sad. Look, there's Missy, if she's gonna come rip my balls off then good, let me be with my sisters.
Xavier: Knock knock.
Catlina: Uh...who's there? Can't believe I'm indulging this...
Xavier: Cat's hat!
Catalina: Cat's hat who?
Xavier: Cat's hat doesn't make her special! Seriously, take that thing off you wannabe.
Missy: Again? Lol Mason your sisters were bitches, quit being a baby.
Mason: Well I'm gonna just cry.
Missy: Sure, whatever.
Mason:...in our bed, and I'm locking the door.
Missy: HEY
Tristan: If I close my eyes for ten seconds, what's the worst that could happen? Let's find out!
Dylan: Ah, I'm so proud of my son-
Xavier: Really?...Well I don't need your approval-
Dylan: Such a risk-taker, with an inquisitive mind. You, kid next to me, I do not like. Get that stick out your ass!
Xavier: 'Kid next to'? I'm also your son!
Dylan: I know.
Tristan: Get WRECKED
Tristan: Don't we look alike?
Miles: Sure but I'm way above your level.
Tristan: Damn who hurt you Uncle Miles?
This family.
Miles: You read my mind, Watcher.
This is a very elder! Mason and Missy situation.
Mason: *snore* About to die...
Missy: Cool, then I can have this bed to myself. God knows I don't want to get under the covers with you!
Xavier: If only I had flames to dramatically and evilly stare into. Hey, how about I look for those matches-
NO, none of that please.
Xavier: Really? Dammit, fine. What do you call a-
I'm gonna guess arson.
Xavier: Oooh good guess!
Lilith has apparently taken Lux's leftovers.
Lilith: Hey he was widowed, there's a difference.
Catalina: 'Hipster' as if...this hat it totally awesome, I'll show him! It's not like the paint splatters on those jeans are cool! They were already like that and he's never gone near an easel!
Get over it. You're not arty yourself.
Catalina:....I'll burn him down.
What is it with you two and fire?
Xavier: Heard you were talking shit.
Catalina: Prove it, you know nothing.
Xavier: I heard enough. Don't talk to yourself so loudly in front of a bathroom door.
Catalina: Your life is so sad you had to listen to me? Get out of here with your outdoor shoes!
Xavier: Fine. But only because I have other things to do NOT because you told me to!
Sari: Ooooh...I hope the garlic doesn't get me! I have so much left to do, so many more Top 40s to trawl through...right and my dumb orchestra job.
Your priorities sure are something. What about your children?
Sari: Oh right! Them.
Also, garlic hurts vampires!
Sari: Ohhhh, guess I'm in the clear.
Hey Dyl you alright there?
Dylan: Heeeeh...the piss ghost is within me-
Just use the bathroom.
Tristan: People come and go, but the 3am Mac is forever.
Tristan: And so is the 3am dancing. Hell yeah, break it down, I'm groovy-
Mason: Tris. That's some Boomer shit, and that's me saying it.
Tristan: I'm doing it ironically, Grandpa!
Mason: Why are all of these kids such hipsters? I'm almost glad I'm due to die today.
Tristan:...Wait you're what?
Despite being Lazy, Dylan is doing some cleaning. I didn't even know that got dirty.
Dylan: Who was in here last?
Cat and Xavier.
Dylan: Well I'll have to do some parenting and talk to them, this is not acceptable!
Yeah OK good luck with that.
Tosca: HISSS I sense an approacher! I just wanted TIME with my CRACKERS.
Tristan: I'm just tryna say hi. 3am food ftw!
Tosca: ABSOLUTELY NOT
Tristan: Hi?
Tosca: RAWR...anti-XD!!!!
Missy: Ha-HA! Bed to myself tomorrow!
Bentley: Wooow that's the saddest marriage I've ever seen.
Missy: Worse than your own?
Bentley: What do you know, stranger? Zenobia loved me with all- OK, most - of her heart!
Missy: As if, all that woman cared for was pain and business investments!
Dylan: Feeling a little out of the loop here.
Mason: *sobs* Oh Luuuuux! My favourite sister....was Aaliyah. Second was Eb. But I still miss you!
Missy: I think I'm justified in my wish.
I mean, maybe not Missy, considering you're sleeping through it.
Missy: I mean...zzz
Mason: Huh. As a young man I dabbled in repair-work. I got a few skills...
Tosca: So could you help me then?
Mason:...No, I don't think I will. You see, I am in fact old, and deserve rest-
Tosca: If you're not helping, leave.
Catalina: I can't believe Xavier calls people stupid and then goes around sleeping on the couch next to the blaring stereo.
He is an NTH after all. All of you are stupid.
Catalina: Wait yeah I can so believe it. Uppity little asshole.
Xavier: You think you're better than me? Cos you can sleep in this shitty pool? Well, I can basically do the same thing.
Maybe someone is taking being the only non-mermaid Gen 11-er hard.
Xavier: What, no, why would I wanna be anything like them?
Tristan: Goddammit! I'm not working out enough! Making me feel so tense!
So your solution is to sit on your arse in the sauna.
Tristan: Well why not? Gotta relax somehow! Y'know, relaxing from the stress of not working out!
Catalina: Oh GOD! I'm sorry.
Tosca: Hehehehe...
Catalina: Aren't you embarrassed?
Tosca: A little. But upsetting you outweighed that.
Catalina: What's wrong with this family?
Tosca:If you're so upset why are you still here?
Tristan: -and I think the Watcher made fun of me!
Tosca: For that idea? What? No! I mean, I'm upset that I can't lose weight so I'm just gonna eat more food to cheer myself up! Because that's logic!
Tristan : That's crazy...you don't need to lose weight, Tossie, you're perfect as you are!
Tosca: Oh, uh, thanks Tris.
Maybe Missy doesn't hate him that much.
Missy: Hey a woman has needs.
Sahara: Uh...don't wanna hear about that!
Missy: For example, I need the toilet.
Sari: Very clever, Mum.
What happens when a tired little boy gets in the water?
Xavier:...He drowns? Don't steal my shtick.
I gave you your shtick, kid. Anyway, did you sleep properly last night?
Xavier: Not really...
Get out.
Xavier: Hey I don't take orders from you!
I guess you don't, good luck.
Zenobia: And you wouldn't reject your own mother-
Mason: This is a club for people who want to have a good time, I don't know if it's for you.
Zenobia: Whatever, you're ageing horribly.
MasonL Oh right, I'm on death's door. Well, I'll say yes to end this conversation and your ghost can be someone else's problem.
Zenobia: Perfect!
Catalina: Ahahahaha! Whats's that pose for, you ain't shit!
Tosca: Just try growing up this hot.
Catalina: Lol we have the same face, everyone knows!
Tosca: I still did it first.
Catalina: First is worst.
Tosca: Not as bad as being a forgotten middle child who nobody likes.
Catlina: Ah...hahaha.
Tosca: I win, and goodbye.
If I had less self-control, this post would literally just be pictures of Tosca's face. She's so beautiful.
Tosca: My face. Not Cat's. I'm totally unique.
Catalina: Sure you are, not like this family is full of insane layabouts.
Tristan: Hey Granddad, your death approaches-
Mason: Thanks for reminding me.
Tristan: And I just wanted to chat with you before it happens.
Tosca: Oh God, hope they don't get sappy. I'm out. When you die can I have your room, Granddad?
Mason: I wouldn't recommend it, Missy kicks in her sleep.
Tosca: Get out of my way, Tristan.
Tristan: But I wanna show you this new pushup techniques.
Tosca: I like TV and trolling, not - what is that smell?
Missy: How did you get covered in mud?
Sutherland women are not typically impressed with Sutherland men.
Miss: Ugh, I'm not even a real Sutherland, he dragged me into this.
Mason You dragged me into that bush when we met.
Tosca: Granddad. Ew. On both counts.
Mason: You could have given me CRABS!
Missy: But I DIDN'T! And you wanted it too!
Tristan: OK screw this, I tried, I'm out.
Dylan: Hey, stranger.
Sari: I know, I've been a bad wife. Yeah, I've been busy but we can't end up like my parents.
Dylan: Never. It's you and me forever, baby. We're destined, isn't that what you said?
Sari: I was younger then. More optimistic.
Dylan: So we've changed a little. That's growing up. But we're still young in a lot of ways.
Sari: Oh really, like how?
Dylan: Come to the sauna and I'll show you.
Mason: Were those my last words to her?
Yup. But you'll be a ghost for a bit, maybe you two will make it up.
The only two people on the scene at first were the kids.
Catalina: Welp. Finally. I mean, I'm sad but-
Xavier: They were hyping it up so much, it's like an anti-climax.
Catalina: Mmm, yeah. We're still rivals though, don't get it twisted.
Xavier: This shared moment of commonality means nothing.
Tosca: Maybe I should have said something!
Xavier: Like the old coot would have understood.
Catalina: Tossie you're *sniff* blockin my way.
Tosca: And now you're trying to take away my position as FIRST!
Missy: Wait, what have we done? Didn't we have something?
Xavier: If there was, I reallyl didn't see it Grandma! So you can't have loved each other that much!
Missy: Are you trying to make me feel better?
Meanwhile Sari and Dylan keep gettin' it on like nothing happened.
Xavier: Shouldn't Grim leave an urn? I want a refund.
We didn't pay him, Xav. And no urn, everybody got stuck mourning for 3 hours. Had to reset Mason like I did with his mother Zen. dying is perfectly fine in my other games so this file is just...borked.
Xavier: Disappointing.
You don't have to tell me that, kid.
It's early morning now but as Mason was dying, in the mess I somehow saw that MCCC granted Miles a kid. Given how good he's been with his kids in the Drifter challenge this can only be a good thing!
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