Chase: Ooh, you go Mrs S!
Deanna: Why thank you, Chase. You're a nice boy.
Meanwhile, in the background...
Felix: My son's a lot, but you can learn to handle him.
Lauren: Uhhhh
Dipper: Goddammit.
Dipper: Sorry about him. He's my senile grandfather.
Felix, offscreen: OY!
Dipper: But you're pretty rad, dude.
Lauren: Awwww, you really think so?
Dipper: Of course!
I kind of want this to happen. Just look at those aesthetics (after MC Dresser randomisation). Opposites attract, huh?
Dipper: Looking at the clouds is fun and we should do it.
Lauren: Ohhh, OK.
Dipper: And we can get away from my Mum!
Tucana: I HATE love!
Grace: It's just hard, I've had three children to raise on my own.
Felix: I mean I had nine.
Grace: It's not the same, I bet a man like you had a nice wife to do most of the work!
Felix:...What, no. I know your struggle.
Felix is still befriending people.
Sent the teens to the Romance Festival.
Mercury: Uh...hey.
Lauren: Hi?
Chase:...Dude stop looking at me like that, you brought a girl along.
Dipper: You don't know how I'm looking! That's what the sunglasses are for!
Mercury: This is your date for the night. Enjoy.
Lauren: I mean, I might?
Max: Flowers for the most beautiful girl in the world!
Chase: I swear they're-
Luna: Oh Max, you're the best brother ever.
Chase: Let's just...leave this behind.
Dipper: What up, bro?
Orion: Who's the girl? Probably a lich, godDAMMIT Audra-
Dipper: Dude I was being polite and I don't want to hear about your marriage issues.
Mercury: Hey, maybe I like women too.
Brant: I mean it's hard not to look.
Claire: Yeah, maybe for pervs like you two!
Mercury: But you're-
Claire: I'm wearing shoes!
Brant: Right.
I Dresser'd her into clothes.
Christian: I've got - oh shit!
Claire: Goddammit you know I'm allergic!
Christian: So why'd you want to come here then?
Ah, marriage.
Dipper: So what if we...were a thing, Lauren?
Lauren: You're really asking that?
Dipper: Why not? Look where we are, when else would I shoot my shot?
Lauren: We just met this afternoon...but I think I'd say yes.
Contrast this with the other couple.
Chase: I think you need a shower...
Mercury: Just take the rose, I'm trying to be NICE to you goddammit!
Chase: What is that?!
Mercury: Shower in a bottle, dumbfuck.
Chase: This really what you're gonna call me?
Mercury: I said it out of love.
Chase: WHAT? YOU-
Mercury: I mean...like. Liking.
Dipper: Check out the gun show!
Lauren: Ooooh!
Vendor: Ah, teen love. So cringey.
Mercury: You see that? We can definitely be the better couple.
Chase: You're making this a competition?
Mercury: Well-
Chase: Cos I'm down. What've you got?
Chase: Not bad, not bad.
Mercury: See over there, they've been interrupted by two strangers. We've got this in the bag!
These two are of course, completely oblivious.
Vendor: That's enough, get away from my stall.
Chase:...I think we might have lost that one. Damn your brother actually doing something right!
Mercury: Ah well. We can at least be an official thing, right?
Chase: You said you love me sooooo...
Mercury: Just answer properly.
Orion's head: Lol I'm intruding.
Mercury: Uh yeah, you are.
Dipper: Let's get together and feel alright, whaddya say?
Lauren: Yes!
Chase: I could actually be sick. I bet they don't last a month.
Mercury: Awww, that's my cynical little boo.
Look at these two conceited little shits in love.
Mercury: It's like I said. You're the only person who can handle me.
Chase: It's a thankless job.
Mercury: Shut up and hug me more, we can still be the better couple.
Mercury: But could they stop kissing in public for like, one second?
Chase: I mean it's not like we ain't done the same.
Mercury: Straight people are gross!
Chase: Now that I agree with.
Mercury: Yeah, well the second we graduate you can move into - what?
Dipper: Do you see that, guys? I've got a girlfriend!
Chase: We've been seeing it all night, Dipper.
Mercury: Lol nice one.
And we're home.
Eirene has apparently been standing there all day.
Eirene: Well. I used the gaming rig for a bit. Then I got bored so I just came back here and played statue. It's exactly what you think it is.
The boys have just arrived home as well.
Mercury: Stop sending pictures of you two, I saw enough at the festival!
Dipper: Heeeh. Gotta girlfriend.
Whatever Tucana was mad about in the park (last chapter), she calmed down enough to let her weird-looking husband knock her up.
And I suppose after that she was angry again. She does not like children.
Eirene: Mum isn't gonna be happy about me drinking this, it's basically liquidised frog. But why use people for blood when you can use them for other things?
Deanna: Babe, I wrote us a song.
Felix: Rawrrrrr...
Deanna: Maybe I should have finished it faster.
Dipper: Ah, I can't wait to see Lauren at school tomorrow-
No you won't, it's your birthday.
Dipper:...Ohhhh. Wait, shit...how old is she? That's a nasty little stereotype...
She has four days.
Dipper: I'd wait forever for that girl.
Bless. OK, let's get you caked.
Dipper: Ready, everybody?
Eirene: More like ready to go.
Mercury: Anything we discuss will be more interesting than that.
Felix: Too right. So what about that algebra homework, huh?
Dipper:...At least Lauren loves me.
Eirene: Right, I'll call you your taxi-
Dipper: Meh. I'll stick around for a bit.
Eirene: Funny joke, you can't possibly-
Dipper: The threat of a terrible MCCC choice looms large. I must stay true to Lauren.
Eirene:...Who is this girl who puts up with you anyway?
So yeah, he can stick around until Lauren grows up and then I'll kick them out together with Eirene. For the next few days he can do odd jobs and random crap.
He grew up Erratic by the way. Felix your influence lives on!
Mercury: OK, I did my first assignment and I'm bored now. I'm off to smash the dollhouse.
Felix: That's my boy!
Dipper: Yeah, come on Dad! Run so that old heart of yours explodes!
Felix: Please, I'm as fit as when I was your age!
Dipper:...Are you sure about that?
Such is the nature of university in this game that Deanna has maxed photography without touching a single camera.
Deanna: Well I'm a theory expert!
Bob: OH, F - I meant to do it, what are you looking at?
Deanna:..Wh - this usually doesn't happen!
Gilberto: I was ready for you. Your husband was chatting shit and I know your secrets.
Deanna: Oh for - FELIX!
Mercury: All of you are beneath me! Relinquish your frogs!
And here's Merc bringing out his inner Sutherland.
Big brother Pollux is visiting.,
Pollux: Uggggh I remember when you little brats came along!
Eirene: I didn't ask to be born dude. Now come on, let's talk about an alliance for clout, we're both immortal after all.
Pollux: I'm literally only a vampire to keep an eye on Vela!
Eirene: Ooh that must be a thankless.
Lucas: Right, you live around here. My Lauren is very taken with your son, Mrs Sutherland, and-
Deanna: Well. This is gonna make things awkward...
Lucas: A witch! Lauren did hear some odd things about you from Dipper!
Deanna: What is WRONG with me today?
Deanna: Third time's the charm.
Brent: You're very charming but I'm mar-
Deanna: Shut. Up.
(Didn't work)
As part of her aspiration, Eirene needs to ask permission to drink. Dipper actually let her!
Dipper: Wow sis, you are hard to look at in this form. Wrinkles for days!
Eirene: Shut up or I'm going for an artery.
Dipper: OW, EIRENE, I said I was sorry!
Eirene: *slurp slurp slurp* Mum was right this does feel good!
Mercury:...Well this is disturbing.
In the end, one of Deanna's contacts saved her.
Mario: I thought...the bedroom invite...meant something else...
Deanna: Dammit I forgot to put a towel down!
Pollux: Making my way downtown, walking fast
Bailee: Well, I spy a hot piece of ass out the corner of my eye.
Pollux: WALKING FASTER
Who are you?
Deanna: Why am I doing this? Isn't this Dipper's job?
Well he's sleeping off his recent electrocution.
Deanna: Does sleeping even help? That can't be how it works.
I dunno. Anyway, we're gonna see if the odd job is fulfilled by you making it.
While I wasn't watching...Felix finished up that run he tried to do earlier. Didn't go well fo rhim.
Felix: What, no? I feel great. Is my heartbeat supposed to be this arrhythmic?
You are a scientist and should probably know that.
Felix: I am?
You should also retire soon.
Deanna: OK, bye bye now, Mario, thanks for being lunch.
Mario: Anything for you and your gorgeous daughter, Deanna-
Eirene: Still in high school over here!
Deanna: Right, get out. Sorry about that dear, pickings outside were rather tough today.
Eirene: We could avoid that if you just used plasma packs like me-
Deanna: Oh, it wouldn't be the same.
Mario: She'd miss me.
Deanna: Seriously. Get out.
Felix: What have you been up to today?
Mercury: Collectibles. Sitting here and awesomely reading my book. Waiting for my boyfriend to text me.
Felix: Boyf - when did that happen?
Mercury: Awww, you know so little about our lives.
Felix: Yeah, OK smart man, you might think I look sad about that, but actually, it's just because I'm very dizzy and may pass out!
Mercury: Is that...supposed to be a flex or-?
YA Dipper gets the chance to cook for the house.
Dipper: Hey fridgey, am I doing this right?
Alsephina: He's such a prick sometimes...he really is like Dad!
Dipper: Marital issues again, big sis? Well, if Tucana can fix hers so can you!
Alsephina: Going home and letting him get me pregnant is not an option. That's also not fixing things.
Dipper: Well shit, I'm out of ideas then.
Look who showed up.
Lauren: Happy to be here. By the way, my dad's kind of ranting about some shit-
Dipper: Whatever happened it's not my fault.
Lauren: I never said-
He's used to being blamed for everything, just roll with it.
Felix: Well, miss, you're nothing what I'd expect my son's girlfriend to be like -
Eirene: No way Dipper has a girlfriend-
Lauren: Um, hi, I'm right here?!
Eirene: Well. I stand corrected. Could you close the door, were you raised in a barn?
Felix: Oh, I know that face. She's a Munch. So it's the same thing, Eirene honey.
Another skill maxed for Deanna.
Deanna: I'll stop when I have as many expertises as I do children.
Oh and Pollux knocked up his wife again.
Mercury: I still haven't heard from Chase...maybe he's dead.
Dipper: Yeah, it can't be that he's losing interest.
Mercury: What.
Dipper: I'm kidding, he's probably just playing hard to get. If he's too vulnerable with you you'll use that against him.
Mercury: Ooh, that does sound like me!
Dipper: ...Not a compliment.
Felix: Oh shit, SHIT!
Eirene: If he doesn't die soon, he'll kill us all.
Felix: Oh please, it was a flambe! Intentional!
Eirene: I know you're making eggs, Dad.
Felix: I am?
Eirene: My God.
Dipper: But I don't WANT to go to work!
Felix: Welcome to adult life, kid.
Quelle surprise.
Dipper's at the Mua Pel'am Waterfall to do one of his odd jobs.
Makoa: This beats staring into the void of my marital problems.
Dipper: Here, fishy fishy!
You're collecting frogs.
Dipper: Oh right!
Deanna: Sometimes I need a few hours away from my children so I don't have to face what they've become.
Given these bunch...understandable.
Felix: I don't know you! Why would I make friends with such a douche!
Don: Dude, you know what they say about birds of a feather.
Felix: Ooh, I love birds! Bring me one.
Chase: Well. I guess you really don't care. Damn me and my fool heart.
Mercury:...No we can hang. I was just opening all my time capsules.
Chase: That is such a crap excuse-
Mercury: It's true!
Mercury: You still pissy?
Chase: Does it seem it?!
Mercury: No, now lemme grab that ass!
Deanna: OH lord they're - well. Be safe, boys!
Don: Thorough parenting, De.
Deanna: Talk to me when you have kids, Don.
He does.
Deanna: SHUSH.
Don: ...You see, I like my current wife just fine, but eventually...she'll be gone and I'll be back at square one, still young.
Deanna:...I mean I turned you in your fifties.
Don: ANYWAY, what shall we do?
Deanna: I mean...I don't know. I'll miss Felix, but I do I like to think I'm independent.
Don: Oh please, you'll be fine. I've known who runs the show from Day One.
Eirene: Who's that? He's kind of dishy.
Eirene: Don't even go there, he's your father's age and an old friend. Not to mention it would break Felix's heart, he believes the guy was an ancestor of his is some alternate universe...who knows.
Eirene: Mum. That's crazy. And just saying, with who you picked to be our father, I'm a prime candidate for daddy issues.
Don: I can hear everything you're saying. And your TV's broken.
Deanna: I don't care, moving along with this homework.
Eirene: Hey Dad, can I try drinking from you?
Felix: I'd rather you-
Deanna: Do it or I'll divorce you on your deathbed.
Felix: 'Good' my ass...fine.
Felix: Whoa, enough, get off! I'm very fragile.
Eirene: Hey this is the closest I've got to you all my life!
Deanna: Maybe she had a point with the daddy issues thing...
Eirene: Dad's blood is actually good. Got that bittersweet taste to it...
Dipper:...I really don't need that information.
Mercury: Why did I even bother hoping for a normal morning?
Felix: What you did was MEAN.
Deanna: Yeah...I'm sorry. You know I love you forever. I just wanted you to do something nice for one of our children. Now come here you goose.
Answer's still no, De.
Mercury: SHIT, I think I smell burning!
Eirene: God don't be so dramatic, this always happens.
Mercury: You are about to be on fire and somehow I'm in the wrong for telling you?
Deanna: Yeah, he'll be back soon. You sit there and wait.
Lauren: Well, it's nice to talk to the woman who created him. What a man!
Deanna: If you're so impressed, you can take him off my hands anytime, girl.
Lauren: Well I'm still in school so give it a bit of time.
Deanna:....Of course.
Eirene: I know, it's weird. She really does think he's great.
Lauren: He is! You two don't deserve him.
Eirene: Well please, get him away from us then, oh benevolent one.
Dipper: You sure you're ready?
Lauren: Of course!
Eirene: He's not. He only has a single bed.
Dipper: Shut up!...But it's true. We have a shower.
Lauren: Good enough.
So, they did it.
Felix: Can I retire now? It's getting really hard to tell my soda cans from my acid samples.
Yep. You maxed out the career after all. Godspeed you dumbass.
Deanna: *sniff* I'm gonna live so long and I'm gonna watch you die one day, son...
Mercury: That sounds like a you problem.
Deanna: Why have I raised kids like this?
Mercury: Again, very much a you problem. And Dad's, but who remembers him?
Felix: I'll have you know this is MY LEGACY-
Felix: Has all my suffering been useless?
Plant: Haha yeah, life has no meaning or point to it, deal with it dude.
Felix: So what did I do all this crap for then?
Eirene's got something of her father after all.
Eirene: DON'T SAY THAT I HATE HIM!
Anyway it's her birthday.
Eirene: Woooow best birthday ever.
Eirene: Well, I don't feel that different, unlike Dipper and his newfound voices.
She grew up a Bookworm like her mama and several of her siblings.
Eirene: Well who can keep track of them?
Exactly. She'll move out with her brother in a day or so.
Eirene:...Wait what?
Oh, speaking of Dipper's voices.
Dipper: Shut UP over there, I've totally got gains.
...
I gave Eirene the Tech Guru career. Because all she does at night is play games on the motion gaming rig.
Eirene: Hey Mum, am I still 'Good' if I hack into this shitty scam website?
Deanna: Well sure, I've proved that good is a very relative term around here.
Is that a good thing, Dede?
Mercury: Why am I doing this? I'm the heir.
That's what your father said.
Mercury: As if Dad did a minute's work like this in his life!
Who do you think got the garden started?
Mercury: I dunno. Mum? My older siblings? They grew up as peasants after all.
Felix: I'm so proud of you, getting a job already.
Eirene: Who is this guy and what did he do with my dad?
Felix: Well. I've accepted I'm dying, so I figured I might as well tell you you're one of my favourite kids. Like, top three at least.
I decided Felix could do some odd jobs.
Apparently Aldebaran's been living an interesting life.
Aldebaran: How else to escape the wife? Hey, Dad, do I still have to pay?
Felix: Obviously yes, why else would I hang out with you?
There's the Felix we all know and love.
Deanna's home from her first two exams. She probably crushed them.
Deanna: Of course I did. You still on that rig, Eirene? I think you need a man. Or a woman, I won't pigeonhole you.
Eirene: I'm going to pretend this conversation isn't happening, mmk?
I'm not sure Felix is cut out for odd jobs.
Felix: I did awesome getting mySELF away from the bear. Anyway these jobs are difficult, it's not my fault.
These jobs are so simple that Dipper crushes them each time.
Felix: OK, I'm calling him, Deanna...hi. Clint, right? Oh, Colt. Hi Colt. You're free? Cool, I'm sure you'd love to hang out with my daughter?
Eirene:...Who are you and why are you here.
Colt: I'm Colt, and beats me. Your father invited me and he sounded so old and pathetic I didn't wanna say no.
Eirene: Goddammit.
Colt: I mean, I don't mind hanging out with you for a bit. You're kind of hot.
Eirene: Sorry!
Colt: Pretty lights...
Eirene: This is just testing for my own personal use - how are you lazy AND a perfectionist?
Colt: Ohhh you're that vampire my dad knows...Deanna?
Eirene: Please, Deanna is my mother.
Colt: Oh! Her hot daughter then!
Eirene:...
Colt: Sorry, that's just how he says it!
Yeah so Mario is Colt's dad.
Maybe it's good that they did NOT hit it off.
Eirene: Back to gaming then.
Colt: Eh.
Colt: You're a weird chick, Eirene.
Eirene: This is me rising above that comment!
Meanwhile Deanna also has a man over.
Dane: When you said 'come to the bedroom' I didn't think you meant this.
Deanna: You're my professor, Dane!
Dane: Yeah, I was surprised, 'cos you definitely don't need the extra credit. But I wasn't gonna say no.
Felix: I done fucked up, this doesn't feel good.
How many times, you idiot? How many.
Mercury: This is undignified.
I'll go ahead and cry a river for you.
Mercury: Now I understand my father and why he hates you, and I don't want to understand him.
2 for 2. Come on De, one more term.
Felix: How can you even ask me this? I would not deign to give you my wrist again! And after I'm so weak! You disgrace.
Eirene: Chill out, I just said 'can I nom on that arm?'
Felix: Disrespectful!
Lauren: Oh Dipper, I do so love to see you.
Dipper: And you too, sweet cheeks.
Mercury: I'm gonna vomit.
In the background..
Vela: You wanna fight bro?
Deanna: You're my daughter but I'd still kick your ass.
Lauren: I just miss him, he was a really good uncle...
Dipper: I'm sure he was, but it was his time. He'd want you to be happy.
Lauren: Plus I'm uncomfortable being eavesdropped on by your family.
Deanna: What, no I'm not.
Eirene: Who died?
(This world's Gunther Munch is who. Lauren is the daughter of Lucas Munch and some townie.)
I assume this is why we haven't seen a lot of Chase.
Mercury: What? Why would he have to care about some wedding?
...This means his father died, Merc.
The next morning...
Mercury: Aha! Suck it! See, I'm cheering you up!
...What are you doing?
Mercury: Can't you see my earpiece? I'm crushing Chase in online mode to get his mind off his father's death, ain't I a good boyfriend?
Lauren: Not howe I envisioned ageing up, but whatever, I just wanna get out of high school.
Dipper: Still better than all my birthdays, dear.
Felix: Ah, he did the old jailbait wait. Wouldn't expect anything else outta that one.
I guess, except they didn't wait lmao.
I had Dipper throw out a quick 'Get to Know' to learn her YA trait.
Oh Dipper, your life really is a cosmic joke.
Eirene: He says he'll move out tonight. I am so happy that's happening - happy for you and our peace of course. I will even pay his taxi and moving van fares as long as-
Felix: Stop trying to suck up to me, I'm still gonna send you with him.
I moved Lauren in just so she could take the pregnancy test. But she, Dipper and Eirene will be out in like 6 hours anyway.
Anyway, another grandchild for Felix and De.
De: It's not like that happened before.
Felix: I'm not visiting.
Felix: Ah, you wouldn't give me a cursed grandchild, would you?
Vela: Well, that's what my boring bitchass husband wants.
Felix: Now, I raised you stronger than that! Give him hell until he shuts up, or just leave. You're a free woman, Vel.
Vela:...Thanks, Dad.
Felix: See? I'm just that awesome.
Vela:...OK, pipe down, that was pretty basic advice.
Eirene: Hissss...how about that, how is that sounding to you? Would it intimidate you?
Mercury: Please just do this somewhere else, I'm trying to do homework. Actually, everyone can just stay away unless they have a text back from my boyfriend!
Eirene: Hisssss...maybe being a poor winner on voicechat wasn't a good way to cheer him up!
Mercury: I REALISE THAT NOW
Vela: Wow, this house has certainly cleared out.
Mercury: One step closer to claiming my birthright!...So why are you still here?
Vela: A girl can dream. And collect knives and poisons.
Vela: Reveeeenge!
i don't think he really cares about that thing, Vel.
Felix: I will defeat you, chicken...and become the most awesome! I am the leader of this house and nobody else can say otherwise!
Pollux's wife had his kid. Sullivan Sutherland.
Do you hate him.
Pollux: Yes.
I mean I'm not surprised.
A small side effect of Felix making so many random friends - he will now be sad for 2 days when some random neither of us remember kicks it.
Felix: Yeah...at least I can be that random for some punk kid.
Boomer energy, Felix.
Dipper: Adult life? What adult life? I'll just crash here and read my favourite beach-themed smut novel!
In your parents' living room?
Dipper: Like they'd notice and take the time to ask what I'm reading.
Chase: You are such an insensitive asshole! Why are we together?
Mercury: Ah, gimme a minute. I'll turn around and you'll remember.
Chase: Dammit! You're hot! Right.
Eirene: What did my idiot little brother do this time, huh?
Mercury: I resent that.
Chase: I'm actually still mad about Thursday morning!
Eirene: Yeah that wasn't your best moment, Merc.
Mercury: *singing* You're my star full of skies...wait, shit-
Chase: Oh Mercury, you're totally forgiven. You always know how to make a boy feel special.
MErcury: And soon we'll be men together, running this mansion.
Chase: Right yeah, that other reason we're together.
Despite Lauren's noncommittal trait, she married Dipper. Eirene also married to this dude who looks like a thumb. Congrats, girl.
Loving marriage, huh Dips?
Felix: Please you are an adult, leave me alone now!
Dipper: But you hate kids, Dad, not adults. Surely this means we can bond now-
Felix: I would hate you even if you're weren't my kid.
Deanna: I'm a little busy, Merc.
Mercury: Oh, I'm just here for the show. Good luck dude, have fun.
Gilberto: Why'd...I....fall for it?
Felix: Seriously? How stupid are you? Did you really think there'd be free iPhones?
Gilberto:...Maybe!
Felix: Why would we GIVE AWAY free iPhones. I'd sell them!
Gilberto: Ooh, good idea!
Felix: That's an OBVIOUS IDEA - but I'm still awesome!
Mercury: Sweet solitude, Who cares about Dad anymore?
Gen 2, finally!
Mercury: Not too shabby, huh?
He gained the Active trait, rather than the other trait of Felix's that he could have picked up.
Of course after this it was time to age up Gen 2's spouse - who has zero days left anyway. If it wasn't for the age delay with NPCS he'd have aged up too on his own.
Mercury: Ready to start our lives together, love?
Chase: Are you kidding me? Moving truck's outside! Said I'd show them my ID soon - so let's make this quick!
Babymaking first, then makeovers!
Deanna: I think you just passed on the torch, dear. The boys had their birthdays.
Felix: Ah, well...I knew it had to happen.
Deanna: You're taking this very well.
Felix: Yeah. Well. Just let them know they could never be as awesome as me.
Deanna: Yes, love.
Fin.
And now...the spares' lives. What's been going on with them?
Let's start with Tucana. Despite hating children, she's had three, one with Gavin Richards, and one with each of the Patel brothers, one of whom she's married to. The third isn't born, but the first two are already teens. Here they are.
Emil and Dora Patel
Next is Orion, who doesn't have kids, but does have several stepkids. I don't care about them so let's move onto the twins...
Aldebaran is another child hater and has had two children, one with the spellcaster L.Faba and one with his wife, Kaci.
Darian Faba and Alberto Sutherland.
His twin, Alsephina, has no such child-hating traits and has three children with J Huntington III - a bio daughter (who is a Seph clone) and two adopted sons.
Finally, Pollux! He hates kids and yet he has three. A daughter with a Sulani resident, and two sons by his wife Dana. The youngest is Sullivan and he was just born so no pictures.
Arian Sutherland and Gwendolyn Talla. Both vampires.
Vela doesn't have kids with her husband. Probably for the best.
As for Dipper and Eirene? Well we've seen that this chapter. But just to recap, Dipper married his high-school sweetheart Lauren and she's pregnant, while Eirene married some thumb.
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