Justin: Ready for this one, sweetheart?
Elin: Hey look at that, our wedding bands match.
Gunther: I heard the observatory door open!
You gave your consent.
Gunther: That doesn't mean I want to think about this! The only way is to play the loudest, most dramatic concerto I know!
India: That's super helpful when I'm trying to figure out calculus.
Liberia: Yeah it's not disturbing us at all. Seriously, beat his ass, Jordan.
Jordan:...Nah, I'm just gonna look at my homework book. Bookworming for life!
India: So one of my brothers left and the other one got lame. Fantastic.
Liberia: Whatever. Should we be worried about Kiri willingly being helpful?
Kiribati: There's knives in here.
Elin: Well. I guess this is gonna happen.
Justin: You're what now?
Elin: That's what they all say.
Justin:...Anyway. Who's playing violin over there?
Elin: My husband! You're killing it over there, Gunther!
Gunther: THANKS!
Justin:...I'm leaving now.
Elin: No big loss for me, dude. See ya round.
There is so much sibling love present in this family.
India: *sniff* Let's go to the beach, beach.
Liberia: She's been whining about the ocean all evening.
Liberia: Your style is more confused than Gunther about Mum's cheating.
Jordan: That wasn't clunky at all.
Kiribati: I'm out, I do not need this!
Liberia: Well y'know what, nobody even invited you!
Mala and Honduras both got married.
The morning...
Elin: Bath-shower my MAN, you wouldn't eat a pregnant woman now, would you?
Bath-Shower: Maybe you though, you harpy.
Elin: Well I never!
Gunther: How long are you gonna stay there?
India: I just opened - oh shit, I'm listening to Gunther. That's not good.
Mauritius: Invisibility spell. Now y'all can't seeee meee, independence ftw.
Elin:...you're right in front of me.
Mauri: Hahaha his arms are broken and limp like a RAGDOLL
Gunther: Why is that the first sign of emotion you've shown, Mauri? Damn, shoulda known Elin's favourite baby would be a lil sociopath.
Yes, you should have, approximately 12 babies ago.
Tomax: Hi there, little fella. Luke, I am your father!
Mauritius: If only my name was so normal.
Tomax: Oh, no, it was a reference! How about, Mauritius, I am your father!
Mauritius: That was lame. This was a mistake.
Tomax: God you're a little brat!
Mauritius: Heehee!
Elin: That's my boy. So when's the baby due, Honduras?
Honduras: Sorry?
Elin: I said when's the baby due? Why else the quick marriage, you're barely 20!
Honduras: God Mum, no! I love her!
Elin: OK I'll throw you a divorce party.
Gunther: I'm getting involved in none of this.
Tomax: Yeah, OK, snooty man! He's not even your SON!
Gunther: Old news!
Kiribati: Hey, is Mauri being kidnapped?
India: No, it's just-
Kiribati: Bye, have fun, bro! Now I'm special!
India: Oh, you never were.
Tomax: I'm his damn father!
Mauritius, muffled: I hate you all.
Today's homework session is taking place by the pool.
Jordan: Oh, Libby, that's not how you spell 'necessary'!
Liberia: Shut up your legs are broken.
Gunther: It's so good to see your face upon awakening-
Elin: Oh my God, shut up, can I scratch this itch or not?
Gunther: You mean?
Elin: Mhm. Stop grinning about it and get your hoodie off.
Gunther: Yes ma'am.
So...their romance isn't exactly dead.
Elin: Ah, the power you will wield, my sweet prince!
Mauritius: So we're just gonna stare all night instead of letting me out of this prison? ...Cool.
Kiri: So I want the armour on this tank to be made of - are you even listening?
Elin: Mhm. Plate sparkle. Pregnancy brain! Yeah, sorry, it's pregnancy brain, Kiri, can't help it.
Kiri:...Lies.
Lies indeed.
This is Yaritza. She's a real peach, ain't she?
Yaritza: Fuck off. Where's my dad?
Not at this house.
Yaritza:...Hey, this is where cheating husbands normally are!
I don't have your father but I do have someone else...
Jordan: What do you call two vampires who are-
Yaritza: Oh for fuck's sake! Enough about vampires! I hear it too much from my dad already!
Jordan: Your dad's a vampire? That's so cool.
Yaritza: Oh yeah, soooo cool when you go to the store and he starts gagging in the vegetable aisle!
1am.
Mauri:...You complete and utter assholes.
Gunther: *whispering* Serves you right you little shit.
Jordan: Sorry little guy, he said he'd only help me if I sat here.
Gunther: Serves. You. Right.
4am...
Yaritza: Well, that wasn't so bad - not because of that idiot. Because of the pool here, it's pretty nice.
Suuuuure.
Yaritza: Yep, I'm pretty sure.
Elin: Oh, look it's my faceclone.
India: Just try and insult me now you've said that.
Elin:...Ah, shoot. Pregnancy brain is real, huh?
India: What are you talking about? This entire family's brains are constantly full of worms.
Elin: Huh?
India: Yeah, I'm tired too.
Mauritius:...So...we moving sometime, Mum?
Elin: My beautiful spellcasting son...
Mauritius:...I'm uncomfortable.
Get used to that living with this family.
Mauritius: Too right.
This is more like Clarissa the Cult Lady.
Clarissa: Feeling Britney circa 2007!
That's rude.
Jordan, who are you giving those eyes to?
Jordan: Even with the peasant skirt she's got a fine ass.
Clarissa: Yeah, I still got it!
...OK.
Liberia:...That was disturbing.
India: Never listen to your brother, kids.
Kiribati: Wasn't planning on it.
Liberia: What, should we be like you?
Kiri: That's a laugh!
India:...Wow. Now I don't feel bad leaving you two freaks behind.
Libby and Kiri have their As by the way. And Jordan got his too.
India: Beach, here I come! Though I've suddenly developed an affection for your music, Gunther.
Gunther: Why, thank you!
India: Complimenting Gunther? Egads, I really gotta get out of here.
India grew up a Music Lover, adding to Child of the Ocean and Hot-Headed.
Jordan: How am I the only one doing homework? This is bullshit.
Kiribati: Suckeeeerrr we all have As.
Elin: I'm bored of playing housewife.
Jordan: You've been at the stove for 5 minutes, Mum. Where do you think the rest of the food comes from?
Gunther: Was that some appreciation? See, Elin, I knew taking up the violin would make me cool.
Liberia maxed the mental skill.
Libby: About time! I hate it in there. It smells like regret and sweat. Plus there's some random glasses in there?
...Oh dear.
Elin: We're having a lovely dinner, aren't we, girls?
Liberia: Yeah sure. I've been meaning to ask, what's up with that observatory, Mum?
Jordan: *snort*...This is still bullshit.
Kiri: I'm too good for you all.
Elin: Show, don't tell, dear.
Gunther: *providing the backing track to this dysfunction*
Honduras: Oh, childhood dormitory! How I miss - I mean, how I love the fact that I left you and got married and am now an adult-
Jordan: He does know-
Kiri: I'm gonna kill him. That's what I'll do.
Jordan: For once I agree with you, sis.
Honduras: Oh, was someone in here?
In the morning, the weekend is off to a great start!
Libby: Well this looks like someone else's problem.
You're right, what else do we keep the Gunther here for?
Elin: So, Jordan, y'know my kid Egypt-
Jordan:...Never met an Egypt in my life. And I feel like I'd remember that name.
Elin: Dumbass. Anyway, he's gonna come over and make you a vampire.
Gunther: Hang in, is that why they've all been reading those vampire books?
Elin: God, no. Don't you pay attention?
Gunther: I mean, I have a lot going on with the violin and all, it's very cool-
Elin: Idiots.
Jordan: You might be independent, but you still need help bathing.
Mauri: I know. But I'm not happy about it. Therefore I'm gonna get as much soap as possible in your eyes.
Jordan: Not the eyes! They're my only unique feature!
(Thanks, Ray)
Libby: I feel like we're being neglected today.
Kiri: It's just cos we're better than them, don't worry your pretty blue head.
Libby: How are you being the nicest to me?
Kiri: I thought you were my greatest enemy. Far from it. We'd make a good team.
Libby: Heh.
Kiri: So wanna kick the spellcaster's head in?
Libby:...I'm good.
Gunther: Too good to sit down with me?
Jordan: I was already standing up. Mum said I need to 'strengthen these little bird legs'. What are you doing anyway?
Gunther: Capturing your mother's essence in this Book of Life.
Jordan: OK, you've just created a Horcrux, very cool.
Liberia: So, how's life by the ocean? I wanna know 'cos Mum says she might send me and Kiri there once we grow up.
India:...How did she even get my address?
Liberia: The woman's a renowned programming expert, figure it out. Nice beach look, by the way.
India: Yep. This is my personality now.
Liberia: Better than blocking the fridge.
Liberia: We do have fun together, don't we?
Mauri:...Maybe you do. I'm not enjoying this.
Jordan: Shhhh just let it wash over you.
Mauri: This new form is underwhelming.
Jordan: So is everything to ya, kid.
India:...Why're you looking like that?
Kiri: Liberia got me sick. I renounce my affection for her! She ends!
Jordan: I don't resent you for leaving me with this at all, sis.
India: Yeah yeah, I'll cry an ocean of tears, get it-
Jordan: Get a different personality.
Kiri: Get me a shiv!
Gunther: *fulfilling his role as a backing track to the family dysfunction*
Kiri:...Yeah and I have a mild headache! Death!
Mauri: Words cannot describe how little I care.
Honduras is here.
Honduras: Screw you, you pathetic little worm! What happened to your edge?
Jordan: Hey, I've got earrings!
Elin: Your brother's right, you did get lamer on your birthday.
Honduras: Exactly you dorky fuckwit!
Jordan: Mum!
Elin: See? The old Jordan would have smacked him instead of crying for mother!
Jordan: One of you fuckers got me sick.
Honduras: Hehe. Now I feel better.
Gunther: Me too, funnily enough.
Elin: Oooooowww...Gunther why are YOU screaming? You should be used to -OW - this!
Elin: Hello Norway...your 'father' and I are busy, there's lots more kids who can raise you, isn't that nice?
Norway: Thanks, Mum.
So this is Elin and Justin's son. Next time, baby Oman is born. That's literally the only available name.
Elin: Wow, spoilers.
Shush woman.
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