Welcome back. Last time, Rivella claimed the life of another, and started growing a new life - i.e. she got pregnant again. Last kid.
But first, we're at Grenadine's to get that glitchy-ass baby of hers out of there.
Grenadine: Uggghhhhh! Finally!
I'd honestly let her snap my head off. Like...damn.
Grenadine: Not the time!
Grenadine: Well, here she is!
Gene: Good job babe!
Gin-Fizz: She looks too much like that husband of yours.
Gene: I'm right here.
I named her Ribena and she proceeded to disappoint me by turning out normal-coloured.
If you're not familiar, Ribena is a British blackcurrant drink, purple in colour. When she was a child, my parents said I should have named Grenadine that, due to her purple skin, and I've been disappointed ever since that I didn't.
Returning to Manage Worlds and WHY is Gin-Fizz holding Ribena instead of one of her parents?
Back at the main house...
Aperol: You're looking for my Grandma, right? Yellow dress, red hair, lowkey pervy eyes?
Lyric:...How did you know?
Aperol: Experience. She's upstairs.
Lyric: Cool, thanks kid - did you say experience?
What can I say, he's scarred.
Lyric: Wooo, go kid! Scram, cat, this is people time.
Kezia: Look, I'm neutral towards the thing, but be nice to it. Rivella's coming.
Bellini: I don't care, can I please become self-sufficient?
Rivella: Sorry, I'm not gonna make her die.
Onyx: But she disrespected me! Make her go like the others!
Lyric: I feel a little unsafe ngl.
Rivella: Wh - what? There's no others! Go home now, Lyric, if you know what's good for you.
Onyx: Pussy.
Rivella: That's you.
Bellini: You did not need to hold me that long! I need to be free!
Kezia: Oh shut up you little cliche! Let me guess, you're a loner now or some shit.
Bellini: I need to be free in tropical paradise!
Kezia:...
Bellini rolled Child of the Islands, with the Creative aspiration.
Bellini: Hey big bro. I don't care about you at all-
Aperol: Wow, thanks.
Bellini: But you're a few grades ahead of me, correct?
Aperol: Obviously.
Bellini: You're gonna give me aaaaaalll the answers to my homework in a bit. Come on, get ready!
This dude is gonna be Pepsi's last kiss for this milestone.
Pepsi: You looked better from my upstairs window.
Princeton:...This is really how you talk to people, huh?
Aaand the deed is done.
Pepsi: Right, get out now, neckbeard.
Princeton:...What just happened?
Aperol: I don't even know, dude. The woman's a hurricane.
Nicola: Wanna play catch? I found an eyeball out by Rivella's new plant.
Bellini: I'm not surprised. But no. Can you help me copy out this homework? It's Aperol's.
Nicola: Nice hustle kid. Glad to know this family still has promise.
Hey look, Baby 4 is getting a half-sibling!
Kala: I love my husband, I love my husband-
Kind of starting to feel bad for Onyx. Already in this chapter both Lyric and Nicola have yelled at him.
Onyx: It's always Sugar, Sugar, Sugar! I didn't even meet her! Just let me be me.
Nicola: You'll never replace her, dark impostor!
Onyx: I never even tried to!
Morning Rivella.
Rivella: I think I might *retch* stop growing life once this one is done.
I concur.
Morning Sprite.
Sprite: I smell like llama crack. Just leave me alone to curl up in shame.
Oh, and here's Bellini's makeover. Obviously, she's going for an island theme.
A couple uneventful hours later, Bellini's father shows up.
Brad: Still work the area after all. Anyway. I'm a great father. Sent her that generic Happy birthday text and everything!
Kezia's in a pissy mood today. She already yelled at Rivella, though I'm pretty sure those two will make up. They always do.
Kezia: You skank, you're gonna get literal CRABS if you carry on like this!
Pepsi: Really Kezia, in front of my grandchild?
Kezia: Now you care about what they experience? Aperol is traumatised already!
Blueni: Awwww snap.
Sprite:...What is going on.
Rivella: Hello sweetie! What grade are you in?
Johnny: Uh...first grade, Miss.
Rivella: I have daughters around your age, my dear. I am sure you would just love them. Sprite's a little peach and Bellini is...she's feisty, I'll tell you that!
It's never too early to troll for the next gen's possible partners.
Rivella: Aw, you're a good girl, Sprite. Guess what, Mum found you or your sister a really nice boy!
Don't be so aggressively heteronormative, Riv. You conceived your latest child through a fling with a cute female politician, and that's not even getting into your foremothers' romantic lives.
Sprite: OK! Guess what happened today!
Rivella: Ooh, what, baby?
Sprite: Grandma's gonna make friends with some CRABS! Kezia says so!
Rivella: Ohoho, I bet she is.
Gin-Fizz is actually here this time.
Gin-Fizz: That Gene-looking baby is real loud.
Pepsi: Hey there, Blue Jeans!
Gin-Fizz: Come on Mum, don't get the Alzheimers NOW!
Gin-Fizz, why are you suddenly all flirty?
Gin-Fizz: Y'know, Kezia, you've always been damn hot.
Kezia:...I mean right now, I am actually too hot, like this burner is hella broken. Please leave me alone to fix it.
Apellini: What a fine day for a stroll...God Aperol you're such a dork!
I've been slacking hard with Aperol lately. Between watching the cowplant, making sure Kezia paints because she's the most reliable income we have, doing Pepsi's aspiration and skilling his little sisters, he's kind of got lost in the shuffle. But not lost enough to go without a throwback chess game with his auntie.
Gin-Fizz: I'm going to crush you, you little beatnik.
Aperol: Is that like an insult or-
Gin-Fizz: Silence, it begins.
Kala: I liked her because she's a bit scary...but now I have to end things. Me and Tim are gonna work it out.
Pepsi: Sure. Love is complicated. Just don't break her heart.
Kala: Psh. From what she said you don't even care.
Pepsi: Of course I do. Now be careful in there, OK?
Kala: Yeah, thanks Ms S.
Aperol: Hello, I'm Aperol, your resident competent! Grandma's out back near the pool.
Kala: I'm actually looking for your mother.
Aperol: Ah. She's in a tournament right now and cannot be disturbed. Sofa's to your left, help yourself to anything in the fridge. Oh, apart from the piles of whole fish.
Oh look, it didn't even matter. You couldn't wait like two minutes more for it to finish?
Rivella: I wasn't gonna piss in that gaming chair, that's disgusting.
I need to stop putting Rivella in tournaments during her third trimesters.
While I was waiting for Rivella to finish peeing so she could talk to her baby mama, I noticed someone at the cowplant. I thought 'lol which townie idiot fell for it'.
Shame on you, Kezia.
Rivella: So...friends? You can come with the family to one of my lot visits -
Kala: Ugh, NO! Don't you get it?! We can't be seen in public together at all! I need to work things out with my husband, and rumours cannot fly! So it's all done, Rivella.
Rivella:...Very well. I will keep you around for the sake of our child. Having a dead father didn't help my eldest.
Kala: What the hell are you even talking about?
Rivella: Doesn't matter. Get out.
Aperol: Oooook, seriously what happened to my father? This sounds all kinds of dodgy.
Meanwhile, Pepsi fulfilled Tier 3 of her aspiration.
Pepsi: I feel as if I have just completed a goal.
Samuel: Well I completed several of mine, getting to bang you twice and all.
Pepsi: Shut up...
Pepsi: Because we're finished. Come near me again and I file a restraining order.
Samuel: Buh - wha - was it the goal thing, I was just joking-
Bellini: Damn Grandma's kind of a savage.
Is Bellini going to be the only person who likes Pepsi? We will see.
Aniyah finally left her cheating husband. About time. I'm pretty sure the affair has been going at least since Aperol was a baby. That kid's a teen in 3 days, so...better late than never?
Justin:...This bitch kills me, and then she has my son live in this filth? Oh, Aperol, if only I were alive. For one thing, you wouldn't be named Aperol.
He's Rivella's son and a part of this legacy, so yes, he would be.
Sprite why are you out here.
Sprite: I demand food.
Kezia: *cracks back* Shit, can't you just open the fridge or something?
Sprite: I am too short...I demand food.
Cola Mark 1 is old. Which means you too soon, Pepsi.
This little bird sculpture officially shows that we finally found all the feathers. Nice work, Onyx.
Rivella, Kezia, Pepsi: I mean we combed through all those feather piles-
Y'know, I feel like Onyx could use catching a break right now. So he can have the credit.
Kezia: I haven't forgotten this morning...
Sprite: I'm in danger.
Rivella: After this baby's out I need to head to the city. Anyone heard of pufferfish?
Aperol: I should have probably paid attention in science, because this sounds bad.
Kezia: Oh...oops.
Sprite: I don't think I like her.
Rivella: Yeah she's a pain in the ass sometimes.
Kezia: Bitch, says you? Who else could put up with you but this pain in the ass, hm?
Rivella: KALA YOU BITCH
It's go time!
And it's another little girl! This is Sangria, final baby of the generation, named after the red wine and fruit drink. She has the same skintone as her older sisters, but hopefully some different facial features. Sprite and Bellini seem pretty close to Rivella genetically.
And I'm growing her up this chapter I SWEAR. It's two days. How exciting can two days be?
Rivella: It's the weekend and I am due a trip.
...Right.
Ugh this is gonna get long.
Welcome to the Casbah Gallery. Go nuts, folks.
Rivella: Aight, I'm gonna yell at a bartender.
Aperol: Did you hear that, everybody? If she knows you're with her, don't order the drinks! I certainly won't!
Rivella: Kid you're ten, who would even serve you?
Kezia: Right, well I'm going to ignore what's going on behind you, Aperol.
Aperol: So am I.
Pepsi: Hey there-
Zara: Aren't you that bitch who kissed my husband?
Pepsi:...Maybe? Which one is he?
Pepsi:...Anyway, you're pretty for a Landgraab offshoot.
Zara: Is that supposed to be a compliment?
Pepsi: Yeah, of course. So... let's go on a date then?
Zara: What the fuck.
Zara: This was a mistake.
Pepsi: Tbh probably. What's with the funeral dress?
Zara: I'm somehow on a date with you. I have to mourn the loss of my brain cells.
This bartender is evil. Rivella's always picking fights with the worst people.
Rieko: Oho, she wouldn't be so mouthy if she knew about the knife I've got under here.
Rivella: I carry a switchblade in my bra, lady.
Despite the weapon talk, they still end up brawling hand-to-hand.
Rivella: Say uncle, motherfucker.
Rieko: Not before I piss on your grave!
Rivella: We're talking graves not! Don't even test me, I've k-
NO.
Rivella: I could theoretically kill a man, I have never once-
Angela Pleasant: I just wanted...a fucking margarita...what the fuck.
Angela Pleasant: Whatever. *shoves hand*
Zara: I'm uncomfortable. Aren't you the good one?
Meanwhile, Pepsi just walked straight past this. Nothing will get in her way.
She also knows Riv way too well to be surprised.
Rieko: I think I'm gonna be sick.
Rivella: Don't mess with me next time, capiche?
Rieko: You messed with me! I was just trying to do my job. Do you have no sense of basic logic-
Rivella: Logic, schmogic. Hey PLEASANT, get over here!
Anyone remember Stacy? It's been a while so if you don't, understandable.
This is one of her kids, Rosalie.
I bring it up because this girl looks like a tanned Brad Hopper, ie Bellini's dad.
Bellini: If that face is my future I need a real strong career.
Rosalie: And you're choosing art?
Aditya: Oh don't listen to her! I'm sure you can do great things.
Bellini: I mean, I'm six and I can barely draw a boat, but...thanks? Who are you anyway?
Rosalie: He's a simp, that's all you need to know.
Kezia: Always nice to see a young person who knows what she's talking about.
Meanwhile, Pepsi is seducing the heck out of Zara.
Pepsi: I mean, you definitely pull off the funeral dress. Makes you look like a ravishing goth bride.
Zara: Yeah, well I got married and his mother was so traditional and - wait, why am I talking about this?
Pepsi: You can talk to me about anything, darling.
Angela: Please get away from me!
Rivella: Hands off the art! Which is my face, the face is the art!
Angela: I got that, please stop kicking me!
Angela: Ow...
Rivella: Serves you right. 'Good', what a useless trait. What, do you give to charity and sing to animals in your spare time?
Angela:...Not quite. I do volunteer at the shelter twice a week tho.
Rivella: Fucking disgusting!
Cola: *mutters to herself* Why is my idiot daughter and her clan on my turf? This could disrupt the whole plot!
Aperol: What was that, ma'am?
Cola: Oh, nothing, just the ramblings of an old woman.
Aperol:...Oh. You kind of look like my grandma, y'know.
Cola: That's funny.
Cola: Atta girl, that's better than the pathetic dregs she's been going for.
Zara: Shit, you've got a twin?
Pepsi: I don't even know who that is. But maybe she kissed your husband?
Zara: You two do look kind of alike. Huh. I'm sorry if I misjudged you.
Cola: Wily bitch. I'm proud. Let's just hope nothing about this gets back to Ivy...
Zara: I don't know if I wanna date my husband's mistress's doppelganger...
Pepsi: Oh no, it was really only a kiss-
Zara: You don't know that woman. How do you know-
Pepsi: We have mutual friends?
Zara: Good enough. Girlfriends it is!
Pepsi: 1 gold date in the bag, baby.
Zara: Hey kid, I know I work this dress but stop trying to hold my hand.
Aperol: Don't flatter yourself. It isn't gonna last.
Zara: And what do you know?
Aperol: A lot. Like how you've just been hella swindled. But don't mind me, I'm just a baby. Never mind that I've been watching out for everyone in this house since I could talk...
Bitter?
Leticia: Do I know you?
Rivella: You should really come meet my kids, y'know, they're wonderful little creatures.
Leticia:...Let me have cookies before dinner and you're golden.
Zara: Hi hot stuff.
Cola: Didn't I kiss your husband?
Zara: Yeah but that doppleganger of yours...irresistible. I guess it's the transitive property and all.
Cola: Uh, well, thank you but I've got a wife.
Zara: She doesn't have to know.
Cola: You reversed your stance on adultery pretty quickly, didn't you?
Kage: This is not what I come to the gallery for!
Rivella!
Rivella: Yeah yeah this doesn't count cos I'm not on the home lot, blah-di-blah. Plus she' s not dead, she's in that light burst somewhere.
Rieko: AIHSDAFHIAHGIWGWAHIHG
Meanwhile Pepsi and Kezia are just hookah-ing behind her.
Kezia: More like hookering in your case.
Pepsi: Hey, don't say that! What if Zelda or whatever was the one?
Kezia: She better not be, because there's not enough room in the house-
Pepsi: Lol no.
Kezia: ...Why do you pursue all these useless assholes anyway? There's clearly some psychological reason for it.
And then they went home because they have honestly wreaked enough havoc here already.
Rivella: AW, but I wanted to-
Bellini: Who are you and why are you next to my face?
Kristine: Well, your mum said I had 'cool eyes' and wanted me to hang out with you so-
Bellini: Oh God why.
Kristine: Well I'm not getting picked up for three hours so-
Bellini: Ugh. Fine. You're lucky for my soft heart.
Kristine: Yeah, I feel super welcomed.
I swear some spares just can't let go of the legacy home. Grenadine? She got out and meant it. Gin-Fizz?
Gin-Fizz: I hate it here.
So leave!
Gin-Fizz: I hate it here less than my sister's living room containing her squalling baby.
Kristine: Really? You guys eat fish?
Bellini: My mum caught a lot. Why, you got beef about that?
Kristine: Nah I'm a fucking vegetarian.
Bellini: That explains that.
Bellini: Does she have to have dinner here, Mum?
Kristine:...Again, feeling really welcomed.
Rivella: Now be nice to her, Bell. She might be very special to you one day. Or your brother!
Aperol: UH
Kezia: They're just children, Rivella...then again my brother had his bride picked out when he was a child.
Rivella: And are they unhappy?
Aperol: Wh -
Kristine: Y'all are weird.
Bellini: You can say that again.
Rivella: You know we could never have real relationships. You're prickly and seem deluded, and me? Well you know all about me. But the children...there's hope for them.
Bellini: I'd rather die than have one more conversation with a peer of mine.
Kezia: Are you sure about that?
Rivella: Maybe Aperol then.
Kezia: Your grandmother made sure that's not the case.
Rivella:...Let me dream.
She talks a big game but...
Sprite: I love you Blueni!
She's a lil softie.
Onyx: *chokes* I just got dutch-ovened by one of those SQUIRRELS!
That was a skunk.
Onyx: Right? Evil little squirrels.
Gin-Fizz got herself married! To one of the guys her 'mother' kissed...
To be fair, the guy's actually only 5 or 6 days older than Gin-Fizz and more age-appropriate for her than Pepsi. Still a weird situation though.
Rivella: Yes, have your nutrition, my beautiful youngest. There's hope for you, right, right?
I think Kezia got to her.
Sangria:...Dude it's 1am I just want dinner.
Rivella: Who's my darling baby girl?!
Sangria: THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU
Rivella: Wh - but - she can't know.
What is that telling you, Riv?
Rivella: It means I need to get this last death done with so I can be satisfied and she won't grow up to judge me. See, this one looks like she might have a real moral compass.
She's just a baby.
Rivella: And when you live a life like mine you do NOT take chances.
Sprite: Whoever left me hungry overnight, your mum's a hoe.
Well Rivella is by default responsible for you, so...yeah, I guess?
Sprite: That joke's getting way too old!
Then you come up with a better one. Pepsi's kind of one-note.
Sprite: I wanna be big and strong like Mummy!
Kezia: That's very sweet. Your mum needs cheering up, I was a bit harsh on her last night. You kids certainly have hope if you want to be like her.
Are you sure about that, Kezia? I mean, I guess Rivella is very determined, that's something.
Sprite: O...K? I just wanna be strong!
Kezia: And I'm sure you will be.
Sprite: Yah I'm gonna be super tough like a butterfly!
Rivella: Yeah, well - wait what?
Sprite: A butterfly! Cool word right?!
Rivella: I think I should have done more flashcards with you.
Rivella: Who's my big girl? Forget the butterfly thing, you're my kid, of course you're smart.
Sprite: Yeah, I know I am.
Rivella: That's it. Just let your little sister know that I don't need Jesus. I got my own way of living.
Sprite:...I'm starting to get what Appy and Bell say about you and Kezia being really weird.
Pepsi's had this text from Grenadine like three times, which I think is just begging her to stop.
But I'm not going to because the guy's about to die, and his marriage is already dead, so...
Speaking of Pepsi she's still being...Pepsi.
Carly: I came as soon as I got your text! Me, you, camping, lush tent, all-weekend se-
Pepsi:...How about a kiss first?
Sprite: I demand a bath!
Kezia: Watch it or I'll 'accidentally' get soap in your eyes.
Aperol: Kezia are you the reason I need glasses?
Sprite: I've got my cool glasses, for cool kids!
Kezia: And I'll snap 'em in half. Don't be rude, don't test me.
Rivella: Yes, whatever, there's food and a playset and no rules! Just come over, my children need friends.
Carly's intensity did not stop Pepsi from doing her in the science shower.
Carly: Oh, God, yeeees-
Science shower: *too damaged to even beep or say 'Capacity exceeded'*
The kids hang out with their wannabe friend.
Bellini: Uh, I don't wanna be friends with this one. He looks like a douche. Can he stay on the porch?
Aperol: Be nice, sis...but actually, can you please stay on the porch? I noticed mud on your shoes and that will not fly.
Johnny: You guys are weird.
Bellini: Wait...what?
Brad: Well, I'm in the area for work.
Bellini: You're always in the area for work. What gives?
Brad: Your new stepmother/ex-step-grandmother Arlene wants me to take a more active role in your life?
Bellini: Fine. Wait...she's what?
But first, we're at Grenadine's to get that glitchy-ass baby of hers out of there.
Grenadine: Uggghhhhh! Finally!
I'd honestly let her snap my head off. Like...damn.
Grenadine: Not the time!
Grenadine: Well, here she is!
Gene: Good job babe!
Gin-Fizz: She looks too much like that husband of yours.
Gene: I'm right here.
I named her Ribena and she proceeded to disappoint me by turning out normal-coloured.
If you're not familiar, Ribena is a British blackcurrant drink, purple in colour. When she was a child, my parents said I should have named Grenadine that, due to her purple skin, and I've been disappointed ever since that I didn't.
Returning to Manage Worlds and WHY is Gin-Fizz holding Ribena instead of one of her parents?
Back at the main house...
Aperol: You're looking for my Grandma, right? Yellow dress, red hair, lowkey pervy eyes?
Lyric:...How did you know?
Aperol: Experience. She's upstairs.
Lyric: Cool, thanks kid - did you say experience?
What can I say, he's scarred.
Lyric: Wooo, go kid! Scram, cat, this is people time.
Kezia: Look, I'm neutral towards the thing, but be nice to it. Rivella's coming.
Bellini: I don't care, can I please become self-sufficient?
Rivella: Sorry, I'm not gonna make her die.
Onyx: But she disrespected me! Make her go like the others!
Lyric: I feel a little unsafe ngl.
Rivella: Wh - what? There's no others! Go home now, Lyric, if you know what's good for you.
Onyx: Pussy.
Rivella: That's you.
Bellini: You did not need to hold me that long! I need to be free!
Kezia: Oh shut up you little cliche! Let me guess, you're a loner now or some shit.
Bellini: I need to be free in tropical paradise!
Kezia:...
Bellini rolled Child of the Islands, with the Creative aspiration.
Bellini: Hey big bro. I don't care about you at all-
Aperol: Wow, thanks.
Bellini: But you're a few grades ahead of me, correct?
Aperol: Obviously.
Bellini: You're gonna give me aaaaaalll the answers to my homework in a bit. Come on, get ready!
This dude is gonna be Pepsi's last kiss for this milestone.
Pepsi: You looked better from my upstairs window.
Princeton:...This is really how you talk to people, huh?
Aaand the deed is done.
Pepsi: Right, get out now, neckbeard.
Princeton:...What just happened?
Aperol: I don't even know, dude. The woman's a hurricane.
Nicola: Wanna play catch? I found an eyeball out by Rivella's new plant.
Bellini: I'm not surprised. But no. Can you help me copy out this homework? It's Aperol's.
Nicola: Nice hustle kid. Glad to know this family still has promise.
Hey look, Baby 4 is getting a half-sibling!
Kala: I love my husband, I love my husband-
Kind of starting to feel bad for Onyx. Already in this chapter both Lyric and Nicola have yelled at him.
Onyx: It's always Sugar, Sugar, Sugar! I didn't even meet her! Just let me be me.
Nicola: You'll never replace her, dark impostor!
Onyx: I never even tried to!
Morning Rivella.
Rivella: I think I might *retch* stop growing life once this one is done.
I concur.
Morning Sprite.
Sprite: I smell like llama crack. Just leave me alone to curl up in shame.
Oh, and here's Bellini's makeover. Obviously, she's going for an island theme.
A couple uneventful hours later, Bellini's father shows up.
Brad: Still work the area after all. Anyway. I'm a great father. Sent her that generic Happy birthday text and everything!
Kezia's in a pissy mood today. She already yelled at Rivella, though I'm pretty sure those two will make up. They always do.
Kezia: You skank, you're gonna get literal CRABS if you carry on like this!
Pepsi: Really Kezia, in front of my grandchild?
Kezia: Now you care about what they experience? Aperol is traumatised already!
Blueni: Awwww snap.
Sprite:...What is going on.
Rivella: Hello sweetie! What grade are you in?
Johnny: Uh...first grade, Miss.
Rivella: I have daughters around your age, my dear. I am sure you would just love them. Sprite's a little peach and Bellini is...she's feisty, I'll tell you that!
It's never too early to troll for the next gen's possible partners.
Rivella: Aw, you're a good girl, Sprite. Guess what, Mum found you or your sister a really nice boy!
Don't be so aggressively heteronormative, Riv. You conceived your latest child through a fling with a cute female politician, and that's not even getting into your foremothers' romantic lives.
Sprite: OK! Guess what happened today!
Rivella: Ooh, what, baby?
Sprite: Grandma's gonna make friends with some CRABS! Kezia says so!
Rivella: Ohoho, I bet she is.
Gin-Fizz is actually here this time.
Gin-Fizz: That Gene-looking baby is real loud.
Pepsi: Hey there, Blue Jeans!
Gin-Fizz: Come on Mum, don't get the Alzheimers NOW!
Gin-Fizz, why are you suddenly all flirty?
Gin-Fizz: Y'know, Kezia, you've always been damn hot.
Kezia:...I mean right now, I am actually too hot, like this burner is hella broken. Please leave me alone to fix it.
Apellini: What a fine day for a stroll...God Aperol you're such a dork!
I've been slacking hard with Aperol lately. Between watching the cowplant, making sure Kezia paints because she's the most reliable income we have, doing Pepsi's aspiration and skilling his little sisters, he's kind of got lost in the shuffle. But not lost enough to go without a throwback chess game with his auntie.
Gin-Fizz: I'm going to crush you, you little beatnik.
Aperol: Is that like an insult or-
Gin-Fizz: Silence, it begins.
Kala: I liked her because she's a bit scary...but now I have to end things. Me and Tim are gonna work it out.
Pepsi: Sure. Love is complicated. Just don't break her heart.
Kala: Psh. From what she said you don't even care.
Pepsi: Of course I do. Now be careful in there, OK?
Kala: Yeah, thanks Ms S.
Aperol: Hello, I'm Aperol, your resident competent! Grandma's out back near the pool.
Kala: I'm actually looking for your mother.
Aperol: Ah. She's in a tournament right now and cannot be disturbed. Sofa's to your left, help yourself to anything in the fridge. Oh, apart from the piles of whole fish.
Oh look, it didn't even matter. You couldn't wait like two minutes more for it to finish?
Rivella: I wasn't gonna piss in that gaming chair, that's disgusting.
I need to stop putting Rivella in tournaments during her third trimesters.
While I was waiting for Rivella to finish peeing so she could talk to her baby mama, I noticed someone at the cowplant. I thought 'lol which townie idiot fell for it'.
Shame on you, Kezia.
Rivella: So...friends? You can come with the family to one of my lot visits -
Kala: Ugh, NO! Don't you get it?! We can't be seen in public together at all! I need to work things out with my husband, and rumours cannot fly! So it's all done, Rivella.
Rivella:...Very well. I will keep you around for the sake of our child. Having a dead father didn't help my eldest.
Kala: What the hell are you even talking about?
Rivella: Doesn't matter. Get out.
Aperol: Oooook, seriously what happened to my father? This sounds all kinds of dodgy.
Meanwhile, Pepsi fulfilled Tier 3 of her aspiration.
Pepsi: I feel as if I have just completed a goal.
Samuel: Well I completed several of mine, getting to bang you twice and all.
Pepsi: Shut up...
Pepsi: Because we're finished. Come near me again and I file a restraining order.
Samuel: Buh - wha - was it the goal thing, I was just joking-
Bellini: Damn Grandma's kind of a savage.
Is Bellini going to be the only person who likes Pepsi? We will see.
Aniyah finally left her cheating husband. About time. I'm pretty sure the affair has been going at least since Aperol was a baby. That kid's a teen in 3 days, so...better late than never?
Justin:...This bitch kills me, and then she has my son live in this filth? Oh, Aperol, if only I were alive. For one thing, you wouldn't be named Aperol.
He's Rivella's son and a part of this legacy, so yes, he would be.
Sprite why are you out here.
Sprite: I demand food.
Kezia: *cracks back* Shit, can't you just open the fridge or something?
Sprite: I am too short...I demand food.
Cola Mark 1 is old. Which means you too soon, Pepsi.
This little bird sculpture officially shows that we finally found all the feathers. Nice work, Onyx.
Rivella, Kezia, Pepsi: I mean we combed through all those feather piles-
Y'know, I feel like Onyx could use catching a break right now. So he can have the credit.
Kezia: I haven't forgotten this morning...
Sprite: I'm in danger.
Rivella: After this baby's out I need to head to the city. Anyone heard of pufferfish?
Aperol: I should have probably paid attention in science, because this sounds bad.
Kezia: Oh...oops.
Sprite: I don't think I like her.
Rivella: Yeah she's a pain in the ass sometimes.
Kezia: Bitch, says you? Who else could put up with you but this pain in the ass, hm?
Rivella: KALA YOU BITCH
It's go time!
And it's another little girl! This is Sangria, final baby of the generation, named after the red wine and fruit drink. She has the same skintone as her older sisters, but hopefully some different facial features. Sprite and Bellini seem pretty close to Rivella genetically.
And I'm growing her up this chapter I SWEAR. It's two days. How exciting can two days be?
Rivella: It's the weekend and I am due a trip.
...Right.
Ugh this is gonna get long.
Welcome to the Casbah Gallery. Go nuts, folks.
Rivella: Aight, I'm gonna yell at a bartender.
Aperol: Did you hear that, everybody? If she knows you're with her, don't order the drinks! I certainly won't!
Rivella: Kid you're ten, who would even serve you?
Kezia: Right, well I'm going to ignore what's going on behind you, Aperol.
Aperol: So am I.
Pepsi: Hey there-
Zara: Aren't you that bitch who kissed my husband?
Pepsi:...Maybe? Which one is he?
Pepsi:...Anyway, you're pretty for a Landgraab offshoot.
Zara: Is that supposed to be a compliment?
Pepsi: Yeah, of course. So... let's go on a date then?
Zara: What the fuck.
Zara: This was a mistake.
Pepsi: Tbh probably. What's with the funeral dress?
Zara: I'm somehow on a date with you. I have to mourn the loss of my brain cells.
This bartender is evil. Rivella's always picking fights with the worst people.
Rieko: Oho, she wouldn't be so mouthy if she knew about the knife I've got under here.
Rivella: I carry a switchblade in my bra, lady.
Despite the weapon talk, they still end up brawling hand-to-hand.
Rivella: Say uncle, motherfucker.
Rieko: Not before I piss on your grave!
Rivella: We're talking graves not! Don't even test me, I've k-
NO.
Rivella: I could theoretically kill a man, I have never once-
Angela Pleasant: I just wanted...a fucking margarita...what the fuck.
Angela Pleasant: Whatever. *shoves hand*
Zara: I'm uncomfortable. Aren't you the good one?
Meanwhile, Pepsi just walked straight past this. Nothing will get in her way.
She also knows Riv way too well to be surprised.
Rieko: I think I'm gonna be sick.
Rivella: Don't mess with me next time, capiche?
Rieko: You messed with me! I was just trying to do my job. Do you have no sense of basic logic-
Rivella: Logic, schmogic. Hey PLEASANT, get over here!
Anyone remember Stacy? It's been a while so if you don't, understandable.
This is one of her kids, Rosalie.
I bring it up because this girl looks like a tanned Brad Hopper, ie Bellini's dad.
Bellini: If that face is my future I need a real strong career.
Rosalie: And you're choosing art?
Aditya: Oh don't listen to her! I'm sure you can do great things.
Bellini: I mean, I'm six and I can barely draw a boat, but...thanks? Who are you anyway?
Rosalie: He's a simp, that's all you need to know.
Kezia: Always nice to see a young person who knows what she's talking about.
Meanwhile, Pepsi is seducing the heck out of Zara.
Pepsi: I mean, you definitely pull off the funeral dress. Makes you look like a ravishing goth bride.
Zara: Yeah, well I got married and his mother was so traditional and - wait, why am I talking about this?
Pepsi: You can talk to me about anything, darling.
Angela: Please get away from me!
Rivella: Hands off the art! Which is my face, the face is the art!
Angela: I got that, please stop kicking me!
Angela: Ow...
Rivella: Serves you right. 'Good', what a useless trait. What, do you give to charity and sing to animals in your spare time?
Angela:...Not quite. I do volunteer at the shelter twice a week tho.
Rivella: Fucking disgusting!
Cola: *mutters to herself* Why is my idiot daughter and her clan on my turf? This could disrupt the whole plot!
Aperol: What was that, ma'am?
Cola: Oh, nothing, just the ramblings of an old woman.
Aperol:...Oh. You kind of look like my grandma, y'know.
Cola: That's funny.
Cola: Atta girl, that's better than the pathetic dregs she's been going for.
Zara: Shit, you've got a twin?
Pepsi: I don't even know who that is. But maybe she kissed your husband?
Zara: You two do look kind of alike. Huh. I'm sorry if I misjudged you.
Cola: Wily bitch. I'm proud. Let's just hope nothing about this gets back to Ivy...
Zara: I don't know if I wanna date my husband's mistress's doppelganger...
Pepsi: Oh no, it was really only a kiss-
Zara: You don't know that woman. How do you know-
Pepsi: We have mutual friends?
Zara: Good enough. Girlfriends it is!
Pepsi: 1 gold date in the bag, baby.
Zara: Hey kid, I know I work this dress but stop trying to hold my hand.
Aperol: Don't flatter yourself. It isn't gonna last.
Zara: And what do you know?
Aperol: A lot. Like how you've just been hella swindled. But don't mind me, I'm just a baby. Never mind that I've been watching out for everyone in this house since I could talk...
Bitter?
Leticia: Do I know you?
Rivella: You should really come meet my kids, y'know, they're wonderful little creatures.
Leticia:...Let me have cookies before dinner and you're golden.
Zara: Hi hot stuff.
Cola: Didn't I kiss your husband?
Zara: Yeah but that doppleganger of yours...irresistible. I guess it's the transitive property and all.
Cola: Uh, well, thank you but I've got a wife.
Zara: She doesn't have to know.
Cola: You reversed your stance on adultery pretty quickly, didn't you?
Kage: This is not what I come to the gallery for!
Rivella!
Rivella: Yeah yeah this doesn't count cos I'm not on the home lot, blah-di-blah. Plus she' s not dead, she's in that light burst somewhere.
Rieko: AIHSDAFHIAHGIWGWAHIHG
Meanwhile Pepsi and Kezia are just hookah-ing behind her.
Kezia: More like hookering in your case.
Pepsi: Hey, don't say that! What if Zelda or whatever was the one?
Kezia: She better not be, because there's not enough room in the house-
Pepsi: Lol no.
Kezia: ...Why do you pursue all these useless assholes anyway? There's clearly some psychological reason for it.
And then they went home because they have honestly wreaked enough havoc here already.
Rivella: AW, but I wanted to-
Bellini: Who are you and why are you next to my face?
Kristine: Well, your mum said I had 'cool eyes' and wanted me to hang out with you so-
Bellini: Oh God why.
Kristine: Well I'm not getting picked up for three hours so-
Bellini: Ugh. Fine. You're lucky for my soft heart.
Kristine: Yeah, I feel super welcomed.
I swear some spares just can't let go of the legacy home. Grenadine? She got out and meant it. Gin-Fizz?
Gin-Fizz: I hate it here.
So leave!
Gin-Fizz: I hate it here less than my sister's living room containing her squalling baby.
Kristine: Really? You guys eat fish?
Bellini: My mum caught a lot. Why, you got beef about that?
Kristine: Nah I'm a fucking vegetarian.
Bellini: That explains that.
Bellini: Does she have to have dinner here, Mum?
Kristine:...Again, feeling really welcomed.
Rivella: Now be nice to her, Bell. She might be very special to you one day. Or your brother!
Aperol: UH
Kezia: They're just children, Rivella...then again my brother had his bride picked out when he was a child.
Rivella: And are they unhappy?
Aperol: Wh -
Kristine: Y'all are weird.
Bellini: You can say that again.
Rivella: You know we could never have real relationships. You're prickly and seem deluded, and me? Well you know all about me. But the children...there's hope for them.
Bellini: I'd rather die than have one more conversation with a peer of mine.
Kezia: Are you sure about that?
Rivella: Maybe Aperol then.
Kezia: Your grandmother made sure that's not the case.
Rivella:...Let me dream.
She talks a big game but...
Sprite: I love you Blueni!
She's a lil softie.
Onyx: *chokes* I just got dutch-ovened by one of those SQUIRRELS!
That was a skunk.
Onyx: Right? Evil little squirrels.
Gin-Fizz got herself married! To one of the guys her 'mother' kissed...
To be fair, the guy's actually only 5 or 6 days older than Gin-Fizz and more age-appropriate for her than Pepsi. Still a weird situation though.
Rivella: Yes, have your nutrition, my beautiful youngest. There's hope for you, right, right?
I think Kezia got to her.
Sangria:...Dude it's 1am I just want dinner.
Rivella: Who's my darling baby girl?!
Sangria: THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU
Rivella: Wh - but - she can't know.
What is that telling you, Riv?
Rivella: It means I need to get this last death done with so I can be satisfied and she won't grow up to judge me. See, this one looks like she might have a real moral compass.
She's just a baby.
Rivella: And when you live a life like mine you do NOT take chances.
Sprite: Whoever left me hungry overnight, your mum's a hoe.
Well Rivella is by default responsible for you, so...yeah, I guess?
Sprite: That joke's getting way too old!
Then you come up with a better one. Pepsi's kind of one-note.
Sprite: I wanna be big and strong like Mummy!
Kezia: That's very sweet. Your mum needs cheering up, I was a bit harsh on her last night. You kids certainly have hope if you want to be like her.
Are you sure about that, Kezia? I mean, I guess Rivella is very determined, that's something.
Sprite: O...K? I just wanna be strong!
Kezia: And I'm sure you will be.
Sprite: Yah I'm gonna be super tough like a butterfly!
Rivella: Yeah, well - wait what?
Sprite: A butterfly! Cool word right?!
Rivella: I think I should have done more flashcards with you.
Rivella: Who's my big girl? Forget the butterfly thing, you're my kid, of course you're smart.
Sprite: Yeah, I know I am.
Rivella: That's it. Just let your little sister know that I don't need Jesus. I got my own way of living.
Sprite:...I'm starting to get what Appy and Bell say about you and Kezia being really weird.
Pepsi's had this text from Grenadine like three times, which I think is just begging her to stop.
But I'm not going to because the guy's about to die, and his marriage is already dead, so...
Speaking of Pepsi she's still being...Pepsi.
Carly: I came as soon as I got your text! Me, you, camping, lush tent, all-weekend se-
Pepsi:...How about a kiss first?
Sprite: I demand a bath!
Kezia: Watch it or I'll 'accidentally' get soap in your eyes.
Aperol: Kezia are you the reason I need glasses?
Sprite: I've got my cool glasses, for cool kids!
Kezia: And I'll snap 'em in half. Don't be rude, don't test me.
Rivella: Yes, whatever, there's food and a playset and no rules! Just come over, my children need friends.
Carly's intensity did not stop Pepsi from doing her in the science shower.
Carly: Oh, God, yeeees-
Science shower: *too damaged to even beep or say 'Capacity exceeded'*
The kids hang out with their wannabe friend.
Bellini: Uh, I don't wanna be friends with this one. He looks like a douche. Can he stay on the porch?
Aperol: Be nice, sis...but actually, can you please stay on the porch? I noticed mud on your shoes and that will not fly.
Johnny: You guys are weird.
Bellini: Wait...what?
Brad: Well, I'm in the area for work.
Bellini: You're always in the area for work. What gives?
Brad: Your new stepmother/ex-step-grandmother Arlene wants me to take a more active role in your life?
Bellini: Fine. Wait...she's what?
Yeah so Shayne's ex-wife married Brad over here. This family tree is screwed up.
Brad: Who's this boy? Is he a good influence on you, Bell?
Bellini: Bellini to you, thank you very much. You don't get to judge the people in my life when you've barely been in it.
Johnny: Damn, nice one! Does this mean I'm 'the douche' in your life?
Bellini:...Shit.
Brad: Well he kind of has you there.
Bellini: Shut up!
Pepsi: Jules....yeah, I know it's been a while. Super busy. What's that? Oh, no, the gurgling's just the cowplant...no not like that, haha, I'm just feeding it cheap offal...
Berry: I need a real meal, these lumps of meat won't cut it!
Kezia:...Get out kid, I'm not giving you girl advice. Least of all about my best friend's grumpy-ass daughter.
Johnny: But Miss Rivella said this house can be like my house and...and I"m just really stuck.
Kezia: Hoooooohhh my god. Get closer to her, get to know her, then be honest. Now leave!
Brad: Hey hey hey, Riv!
Rivella:...Is my life a nightmare? What's happening here?
Brad: So...good to see you and our daughter, isn't she great? You married yet? I guess not, you were always pretty prickly.
Rivella: You're lucky I promised my mother something else.
Plus killing two of your children's fathers is a bit much. We need some variety around here.
Rivella: Right?
Kala: Oh bother, I should have taken Sangria's birth certificate off the books.
Aperol: If I squint right you look like Gin-Fizz, ready to strike me down at any time, singly devoted to beating me...I miss having that kind of dedication around.
Kezia: Well I'm not Gin-Fizz, and I don't care, I'm trying to throw you a bone kid. So hurry up and make your move.
Grenadine: You need any help over here, kids?
Aperol: Nope. It's chaotic but we manage. I've nearly done my Whiz Kid badge!
Grenadine: Well. You know who to call if you do need a real adult. You're Aperol, right? The one whose dad - no, you're too young.
Aperol: Well, he is dead. And everyone always acts so weird about it!
Rivella: Get away from my child.
Grenadine: Oh, I know exactly what she needs-
Rivlla: She needs her nappy changed, she stinks. Get away.
Grenadine: She needs a stable home is what she needs. Y'know you completely messed Aperol up-
Rivella: Don't. Don't mess with my babies, any of them.
Grenadine: Well once he's a teenager...if he asks, he knows. I'm warning you.
Grenadine: Well, your uncle and I will be there for you if you ever need it-
Bellini: I don't need you. Or him. Or anyone. Get out my face.
Ribena the baby disappointment aged up while Grenadine was here. Ironic she missed it while trying to check on her nieces and nephews.
Also I cannot believe that we threw purple skin, black hair and blue eyes into the gene (ha) pool for this child and yet she still ended up with the Cola Colouring TM.
ONYX REALLY, TODAY
I'm just trying to get to Sangria's birthday and way too much is happening already and aaargh.
I was gonna leave him to get better by himself but...I felt bad.
The Brindleton Vet's Clinic is its usual shitty self, with grumpy vets one day from retirement, unrendered pets and some woman talking to herself in the corner.
This would be awkward if it was literally any other Rivella baby parent. But Kasey is too forgettable for that.
Kase: Ugh, you're Rivella's stupid cat! Go screw yourself!
Onyx:...Really, today? Can't you see the stars around my head?
Kase: Does this make me interesting?
Not really, like two people have already yelled at him this chapter.
Grenadine it's 1.30 go home.
Grena: But her kids-
They've made it this long, go home.
Here I was three-speeding through the night, idling watching Nicola and she just got fucking eaten.
Berry: This is a wisp! A husk! A shell of a meal!
This guy isn't even listed on the family tree, but he is Cola's alien son that she gave up.
Martin: I am the true firstborn male of the Sutherland line-
Nobody cares, Martin.
Onyx:...You stink, just take a shower.
Nicolla: I couldn't possibly undress in front of-
Onyx: I am a cat. It really isn't a problem.
Rivella: Your aunt has a problem with me, y'know. You shouldn't listen to her.
Bellini: Yeah, she gets all close and shit. I don't like her.
Aperol:...A lot of people have different stories about what happened to my dad. It's funny.
Onyx: Ooooh snap.
Sprite: Hi!
Kezia: Ah...when you have your own food and it isn't 4.30, you are rather sweet.
Sangria: The POWER. Of CHRIST. COMPELS YOU.
Rivella: Oh dear Lord.
She's an Angelic bean. Also, hi, Bellini 2.
Kezia: Hey kid, I'm hiding in the bathroom with a vodka soda for a reason. So...
Sprite: Please grow me up! It'll be fun!
Kezia:..No. And it would crush your mother.
Sprite's: Mum's busy with Sangria. Pleeeeaaase?
Kezia:...Fine. But if she's mad I'll throw you under the bus immediately, you little shit.
Sprite is attached to Kezia. The other kids only interacted with her if they were forced to for needs/skills purposes. Sprite does it by choice.
...Which is terrifying, she's Kezia.
Sprite: Yaaay! Thank you, Kezia!
Kezia:...You're welcome?
Aw, what a beautiful friendship.
Sprite: We're friends then?!
Kezia:...Yes?
This should be interesting.
Brad: Who's this boy? Is he a good influence on you, Bell?
Bellini: Bellini to you, thank you very much. You don't get to judge the people in my life when you've barely been in it.
Johnny: Damn, nice one! Does this mean I'm 'the douche' in your life?
Bellini:...Shit.
Brad: Well he kind of has you there.
Bellini: Shut up!
Pepsi: Jules....yeah, I know it's been a while. Super busy. What's that? Oh, no, the gurgling's just the cowplant...no not like that, haha, I'm just feeding it cheap offal...
Berry: I need a real meal, these lumps of meat won't cut it!
Kezia:...Get out kid, I'm not giving you girl advice. Least of all about my best friend's grumpy-ass daughter.
Johnny: But Miss Rivella said this house can be like my house and...and I"m just really stuck.
Kezia: Hoooooohhh my god. Get closer to her, get to know her, then be honest. Now leave!
Brad: Hey hey hey, Riv!
Rivella:...Is my life a nightmare? What's happening here?
Brad: So...good to see you and our daughter, isn't she great? You married yet? I guess not, you were always pretty prickly.
Rivella: You're lucky I promised my mother something else.
Plus killing two of your children's fathers is a bit much. We need some variety around here.
Rivella: Right?
Kala: Oh bother, I should have taken Sangria's birth certificate off the books.
Aperol: If I squint right you look like Gin-Fizz, ready to strike me down at any time, singly devoted to beating me...I miss having that kind of dedication around.
Kezia: Well I'm not Gin-Fizz, and I don't care, I'm trying to throw you a bone kid. So hurry up and make your move.
Grenadine: You need any help over here, kids?
Aperol: Nope. It's chaotic but we manage. I've nearly done my Whiz Kid badge!
Grenadine: Well. You know who to call if you do need a real adult. You're Aperol, right? The one whose dad - no, you're too young.
Aperol: Well, he is dead. And everyone always acts so weird about it!
Rivella: Get away from my child.
Grenadine: Oh, I know exactly what she needs-
Rivlla: She needs her nappy changed, she stinks. Get away.
Grenadine: She needs a stable home is what she needs. Y'know you completely messed Aperol up-
Rivella: Don't. Don't mess with my babies, any of them.
Grenadine: Well once he's a teenager...if he asks, he knows. I'm warning you.
Grenadine: Well, your uncle and I will be there for you if you ever need it-
Bellini: I don't need you. Or him. Or anyone. Get out my face.
Ribena the baby disappointment aged up while Grenadine was here. Ironic she missed it while trying to check on her nieces and nephews.
Also I cannot believe that we threw purple skin, black hair and blue eyes into the gene (ha) pool for this child and yet she still ended up with the Cola Colouring TM.
ONYX REALLY, TODAY
I'm just trying to get to Sangria's birthday and way too much is happening already and aaargh.
I was gonna leave him to get better by himself but...I felt bad.
The Brindleton Vet's Clinic is its usual shitty self, with grumpy vets one day from retirement, unrendered pets and some woman talking to herself in the corner.
This would be awkward if it was literally any other Rivella baby parent. But Kasey is too forgettable for that.
Kase: Ugh, you're Rivella's stupid cat! Go screw yourself!
Onyx:...Really, today? Can't you see the stars around my head?
Kase: Does this make me interesting?
Not really, like two people have already yelled at him this chapter.
Grenadine it's 1.30 go home.
Grena: But her kids-
They've made it this long, go home.
Here I was three-speeding through the night, idling watching Nicola and she just got fucking eaten.
Berry: This is a wisp! A husk! A shell of a meal!
This guy isn't even listed on the family tree, but he is Cola's alien son that she gave up.
Martin: I am the true firstborn male of the Sutherland line-
Nobody cares, Martin.
Onyx:...You stink, just take a shower.
Nicolla: I couldn't possibly undress in front of-
Onyx: I am a cat. It really isn't a problem.
Rivella: Your aunt has a problem with me, y'know. You shouldn't listen to her.
Bellini: Yeah, she gets all close and shit. I don't like her.
Aperol:...A lot of people have different stories about what happened to my dad. It's funny.
Onyx: Ooooh snap.
Sprite: Hi!
Kezia: Ah...when you have your own food and it isn't 4.30, you are rather sweet.
Sangria: The POWER. Of CHRIST. COMPELS YOU.
Rivella: Oh dear Lord.
She's an Angelic bean. Also, hi, Bellini 2.
Kezia: Hey kid, I'm hiding in the bathroom with a vodka soda for a reason. So...
Sprite: Please grow me up! It'll be fun!
Kezia:..No. And it would crush your mother.
Sprite's: Mum's busy with Sangria. Pleeeeaaase?
Kezia:...Fine. But if she's mad I'll throw you under the bus immediately, you little shit.
Sprite is attached to Kezia. The other kids only interacted with her if they were forced to for needs/skills purposes. Sprite does it by choice.
...Which is terrifying, she's Kezia.
Sprite: Yaaay! Thank you, Kezia!
Kezia:...You're welcome?
Aw, what a beautiful friendship.
Sprite: We're friends then?!
Kezia:...Yes?
This should be interesting.
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