Sutherlands Get Random - 1.4



Sugar welcomes you back to the Sutherland Randomcy.

Sugar: AAAAaaaaaAAAaaaaaa I just want my tail!


Cola: Go away, I'm sleeping.

Aw, but you look so cute.


Lux: Dominic this is the THIRD TIME YOU HAVE CALLED, I'm sleeping!


Cola: Yeah, mum! Embezzle that mirror!

Nicola: How is it that you know what 'embezzle' is but you don't understand what I'm actually doing?

Cola: IDK, rule of funny?

Nicola: But this isn't funny!


Sugar: C'moooon, gimme five!


Sugar: I'll protect you, Third Mistress, from that...that THING!

Nicola: Oh for the love of-


Cola: Serves her right for feeding me PEAS!

Sugar: Hell yes girl, stand up for yourself!


Sugar: Now I'm sure First Mistress must need protection from THIS freaky object. And I'm big, so I can do it!

Lux: That's nice, Su - wait what? Quit scratching that thing, OMG.


Sugar: Actually, I underestimated this object. It's a really great hiding spot!

Right.

Sugar:...Stop looking at me like that. You can't see me.



That night...

Anas: On my way to steal your blood.

Pretty sure I've used that line before but OK.

Also the house is in the other direction.



Oh Sugar, I wish you just wouldn't.



Cola: If dis cat wakes me up one more flippin time...

...

Cola: Then I'm on my way to pull her tail.

Don't do that.



Sugar: A stranger! I will HEADBUTT him.

Kabir: What a sweet...little....PUPPY!

Sugar: Thank you!

What?



Kabir: Lorraine it's you!

Cola:...Lorraine?

Nicola: Shhh. Sleep, my child.

Cola: You two came into MY room! I didn't want to be awake!



He was being an ass and wouldn't donate so I had Nicola keep him here until she gets into a better mood.

Nicola: You will help me out with this or my girlfriend will steal all your money, and whatever memories you have left of your precious Lorraine!

Kabir: *shiver*



Kabir wouldn't stay still so I had her invite over Darling, who is very pregnant. Congratulations?

Darling: Don't even...

Nicola: I know you'll need the money for the kid but anything you can spare for 'Simoleons for everyone' is really important! This cause provides wealth to those who really, truly need it-

Darling: If I give you the stupid donation will it shut you up?

Nicola: I'll shut up if you sign up for a monthly donation-

Darling: Nope!

*sigh* Try again!



Nicola what the hell.

Nicola: Well, you look handsome today, handsome.

Dominic: *shudder* I'm not into glitchy aliens! And...and...you're with Lux!

Nicola: 'Simoleons for Everyone' is a worthy cause that provides people across the world with financial independence and lifts them out of poverty-

Dominic: I absolutely cannot be bothered.



Nicola: What's up with you, cat?

Sugar: You hoe.

Nicola: It was flattery!

Sugar: Well it didn't work. Ya hoe.



Nicola knows so few people that I had to wake Lux up to invite someone over.

Nicola: Listen man...I need some help.

Marcus: Do I know you?

Nicola: I'm Lux's girlfriend...

Marcus: Do I know a Lux?

Nicola: OK, so it's a been a while! Please just help me! I need this foundation to do well!



Marcus: Why not?

Nicola: Oh, you're my saviour!



Cola: Who the stinkin' hell are you, Mr Muscle Man?

Marcus: I was...looking for the living room.

Cola: Look for the door! Me, my bears and Sugar don't want you here.



Marcus: *shudder* Children are the worst.

Nicola: Your usefulness has ended, Marcus. Could you leave, please? You're upsetting my daughter.

Marcus: Ugh, seriously, after I just helped you? Y'know my savings account was recently fucked with, I need money, I did you a favour-

(Courtesy of Lux...)

Nicola: Out!

Marcus: Bitch.



Sugar: Food? Food? FOOD?

Cola: It's allll mine, cat!



Cola: This sandwich is the beeeessstt!

Nicola: *snuggles the cat* Now would ya quit whinging?

Poor Sugar was meowing so much because she needed attention.



Nicola: It took a long ass time to feed you.

Cola: Read my lips Mother - I. Don't. Care.

Nicola: *glare*

I just noticed how piss-poor the lighting in the kitchen is. I might get them new lights soon.



Cola: See Mum? I'm super helpful. I fed the cat.

Sugar: What is this curious mush...?



Sugar: Give me the fluffy!

Lux: Never eat human food again.

Sugar: GIVE IT.

Lux: Promise me!

Sugar: *whine*



Cola: Yaayayayayaaaa!

Lux: Quit splashing me.

Cola: Whatcha gonna do?

Lux:...OK Watcher, were me and my siblings this defiant? Because if so, I sort of *shudder* understand my mother.

Well...you didn't have time to be defiant. You were miserable. It was a chaotic time.



Cola: Dis doll is rly rly awesome.

Cool.

Cola: *whispering* Now tell me what you want me to do, Betty.

Uh...no. No creepy doll shenanigans here, please.



Cola: Heheheheh! Look at my lil dress! I'm basically YOU!

Sugar: Second Mistress, please. That is a tabby dress. And you are a small and wonderful human.

Cola: I ain't small! I'm really big. You're small!

Sugar: Look behind you.



Cola:...You're still small!

(Uuuuugh this lighting. It has to go)



Lux: Stupid parameters...

I'm inclined to agree. She needs to do her daily task!



Sugar: Blech! I have to wash myself now! My mistresses need to clean the counter...

And YOU need to not jump on it! You would have been clean had you not...



Sugar: That object! It threatens you, Mistress!

Lux: No. No it doesn't.



The next morning...

Nicola: So in order to celebrate Cola's ageing, I must make this sweet round bread?

It's a cake.

Nicola: Makes no sense.



The birthday girl herself is being her usual snarky, confident little self.

Cola: I declare this sandwich average, y'all!

Sugar: Must watch over First Mistress...

Cola: I can handle a grilled cheese.

Sugar: BUT COLA, I LOVE YOU

Cola: Love me somewhere else. All I need is my cheese!



Cola: Er, Ma...

Nicola: What? This isn't an important ritual. Blow out those glowing sticks and you can grow older!

Sugar: Speaking of those glowing sticks...they are hot on my poor nipples.

Sugar...what. Get out of there!



Cola: Not bad, not bad. I think the wardrobe could use some work. I need to look as fabulous as I am!

Sugar: *doing...I don't even know*



She is extremely adorable, but there's precious little Nicola in her. Look at her compared to Lux as a kid! The only difference is the skin tone!

She is a Self-Assured Artistic Prodigy.



Cola: Now I'm a child, I require new things so I can share my awesome art with the world!

Nicola: Hmmm...won't your dollhouse do?

I'm gonna make her room over a little so...

Cola: Ha!



Honestly this really confused me at first. I had to look it up on the forum. Apparently this means that the cat wants to breed.

Sugar: The small one has gotten bigger! I need new small ones!

Sorry Sugar....no kittens for you.

Nicola: OK Cola, we're going on a trip. Bring your homework.



Sugar: New small ones! Are they here?

Cola: Somehow I don't think so. Ma doesn't want that. Come on.



Nicola: I absolutely don't want that. There's no room for kittens. Now would this vet hurry up? I have people to swindle - I mean, a cause to campaign for.



Back at home...

Cola: Ayyyy I got homework. Look at how ORANGE this book is, moms!

Nicola: Ooh, cured meat and yellow squish sandwich!

Lux: My family is so damn weird...



Sugar: I can barely seeeeeee!



Cola: Ideas, ideas...time to draw, bitches!



Nicola: There's so many grateful people you'll be helping-

Sugar: MEWWWWWW

Nicola: I'm not taking that thing off for the last damn time!

Sugar: How did you know that's what I wanted?



Cola: -But Mum I wanna play with the cat.

Nicola: We're going to read about them instead! I'm aspirationing!

Cola: What does that have to do with me?

Nicola: Everything, my one hope for a successful lineage.



Cola:...Haha, it's Cola, y'know.

Nicola: *sigh* I know.

Cola: Heeheeheeheehee! I'm hilarious!

Nicola: *double sigh*



Idiots of a feather flock together.

Cola: Hey guess what, I got no face anymore, Blueni!

Sugar: Off! Off off off! I'm sure my TAIL can help.



Nicola: Even stuck in a door, I am charismatic af! Give me all your money! It's for a very worthy cause!

Cola: Tsk tsk, Mother, that's a little too overt.



Lux: *sigh*

Your kid isn't that bad, OK!

Lux: What? No! Not that! Cola's fine. What it is...is that I'm boring now.

Lux...

Lux: I used to go round threatening people, stealing wallets, hacking banks...now I just practice on the work server and stay in the house!

That's character development. OK, maybe we could get you out more, but I promise I will-

Lux: *shakes head* That's not enough, Watcher...



Cola: Ayyyyy, Mum! Guess what, we got Sugar 'fixed' today, and Ma read to me. LMAO it's so nice to see ya!

Lux: That's not how you...

Cola: It's how I, Mum. It's how I!

Lux: What was I thinking?

Cola: I dunno. But wouldn't it be cool if you were a telepath-?

Lux: She's more than fine! She's great. But I need to be more interesting...

Cola: I am DOWN.



Cola is horrible at violin.

Cola:....So bad it's good?

NOPE.



Lux: C'mere Nic, you beautiful-oh.

Cola: Guys! What? There's so much house!

Nicola: I'm uncomfortable.

Cola: Good!



This is what I wanted them to do. They have not spent enough time together recently because of Lux's stupid job...which isn't gonna get better! She's working nights for the rest of her career...I'll probably have her quit once Cola takes over. If that's allowed.

Nix: *kissy sounds*



The next morning, Sugar and Cola are....Sugar and Cola.

Sugar: Wheee....if I do even more ballerina twirls the answer will become clear!

The answer to what?

Cola: I 'unno. Too busy wondering why this fork is so big!



Nicola: OK, bye bye now.

Darling: But - I - I just helped you, what about our friendship?

Nicola: Nothing personal but...I have...stuff.

Darling: Right. Stuff.

Nicola: Stuff as in my actual job.



Oh FUCK OFF, you're standing in it!



Nicola: Here, have some of this pink love magic, my love.

Lux:...Maybe this is enough.

Nicola: Since when was it not?

Lux: I mean...thanks for the love magic!



Lux: Cat. I can see you.

Sugar: Nooooo...I am an invisible worm, sliding along the floor-

Lux: It's the Sutherland curse...even our pets are freaks.



Sugar: *practically running up the side of the house* That's 1 lap of the house! I'm gonna beat my personal best!



Lux sent a chain letter to this chick and she replied...and then two seconds later gave birth. It's just funny to me to think about her just full on pausing labour to check her emails and then send an angry reply.



Lux: Hahahahaha! Screw you, Landgraabs. I have...what? How did only £200 come up?

Cola: Sux to be you, Mum. And I got yo salad.

Nicola: Oh sure! All of you get in here, why don't you? And no-one owns that salad.

Cola: I do. It's my bitch. I'm going to eat it.

Lux: Our child is hilarious.

Nicola: Is she now.



Oh God why. And how?

Cola: The only thing I'm certain of is that it's not my problem!



Considering the type of kid Cola is I was sure she was gonna start jumping in the trash...but no. She did this. Good job, Cola.

Cola: Because I'm subversive as hell. You did not see that coming!

I just said that.

Cola: Whatever. And by the way, Kitty Laser Box? Keep doing you. Raise hell on those dangflabbit cat turds!

Litter box: *doing just that*

Honestly...this child.

I love her though. Nix are only allowed one child, so I'm glad that child is Cola.



Lux: *sigh* Nicola's complaining about this and then does nothing about it...*grumble grumble*

Cola: *singing* Clean up, clean up! *talking* And let's get rid of that nastiness...

Lux: Hey! That is rude, and - damn, I've lost my comebacks. Ugh. God I used to be cool.

Cola: Hey yourself, mother, I've got some hot tips. One, you ain't gross, it's your shoe. Loads of dirt on that side. And two, nobody cares about your one-third-life-crisis. Now can we just clean up this bathroom? I don't like Ma's whining anymore than you do.



Cola: You and I, we're going to take over the world together.

Sugar:...I would prefer not to.

Cola: Yeah, I know. I was kidding anyway. But you could help me get that sandwich out from under the fridge.

Sugar: *sigh* I'll hop right to it, Second Mistress.

Next time...some time passes. I don't think anyone's gonna age up.





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