Perfect Genetics - Gen 1, Week 4



Week 4 begins and still no heir. Sigh.

It's Sunday morning and the kids are having breakfast. They'll all age up to teen this week, I think.

Tucana: Spaghetti!

Aldebaran: Hey, guys, I can't reach my food-

Orion: Fish, so curious.

Alsephina: Fuck this shit I'm - owwww, and that's my arm gone.

Deanna's head: Researching vampire lore, I'm ignoring all of you.

Alsephina: Good plan, Mum - could someone call an ambulance.

Orion: Hang on, let me finish examining this taco.

Tucana: I got spaghetti!


Tucana: Step away, bro. It's awake.


Vela: Until I'm bored, the dollhouse is mine. Understood?

Wow, she really is the little sister from hell.


Felix is still a scientist. I quit going to work with him a while ago because his hours are so incompatible with school hours. 

BUT I recently realised that he can make a Rose serum that sells for £300, and it only takes one rose. Thanks, garden!

Felix: Making the same thing over and over again is no way to be a scientist!

Well pursuing new inventions in lieu of making money for your family is no way to be a legacy founder.


Alsephina: I don't know her!

Tucana: Next time on Tucana TV...will I fall?

Alsephina: Not a good hook! You have Level 8 motor skill!


Felix: My life is a nightmare! This room is a nightmare! Why, why, why!


The current state of this legacy summed up in one picture, I think.


Deanna has a bat form, and moves around as it.

Deanna: *poofs out of nowhere* Give me the computer, son!

Orion: *nearly pisses himself* OK! OK! Hot DAMN, Mum!


Vela: Haha, twin! You're in PRISON.

Pollux: I know...

Aldebaran: This definitely isn't my problem. Seriously. I can't do anything.

Tucana: Neither.

Orion: Dad this definitely seems like your problem.

Felix: Would all of you kids just shut up?


Aldebaran's hand has been freaking stuck like this for way too long. 


Alsephina: The artistry!

Deanna: *massively extra flourish* You're witnessing a genius at work.

Wow Deanna that ass tho. Is that where all the baby weight went?


These guys are blocking the doorway, which was annoying. Deanna has a guest...

Pollux: You guys like my stink?

Orion: Nice. Now go bother Vela!

Aldebaran: Or he could just be changed?

Orion: Where's the fun in that?

Pollux: I'm not bothering Vela. Even if this place is a disaster, I do like my life.


Paolo: Oh no!

Deanna: Come under my control, person!

Paolo: D: You don't even know my name!


Felix: So you put your hands in the toilet...and touched your face?

Pollux: Yeah? I guess so?

Felix: And people wonder why I'm not a fan of you little brats.

Pollux: So...I shouldn't do that.

Felix: No!



The grind never stops for these two. Legacy founding, huh.

We're doing pretty well though, there's two bathrooms, lights, flooring and wallpaper in almost every room and nobody's sleeping outside.



Alsephina: This is no way to eat spaghetti!

Well you're the one who woke up hungry at 1am, how is this anyone's fault?



I legit spent like thirty seconds swivelling around trying to see Deanna's reflection in the mirror and THEN I REMEMBERED

She is a VAMPIRE.

Deanna: And you are AN IDIOT.

Hey, aren't you supposed to be the good one?

Deanna: Am I even wrong though?



Pollux: I must feast.

Or, OR, you're just really hungry, kid, chill out.

Vela: On my way to cause some trouble.

Pollux: Liar, you were literally just sent to use the potty.

Vela: Shhhhhhhshshshhhh Pollux, for what am I without fear in the hearts of my enemies?

You're like two, what enemies?



Orion: Mum do you have to do that freaky shit in the kitchen?

Vela: *gets possessed* Riiiiise mother, rise.

Tucana: Damn this is a pretty interesting episode.



Deanna: Maybe we can shake the evil out of her!

Vela: BLOOD RUSH

Alsephina: Mum no. Did you lose your mind having all us kids or something?

Honey I think everybody lost their minds when you and your older brothers were all toddlers. Pollux and Vela ain't shit.

Vela: Too much...REVENGE time.

Deanna: Crap. *shakes more*



Half the kids have decided to live in the tiny bathroom I can't take good pics in. Thanks y'all. Also what the fuck-

Tucana: Being a TV sucks! You have to do your own dishes and everything!

I'm not gonna unpack that statement...there's simply not enough time.

Pollux: Why do I lack personality, brother?

Orion: Wow. We're asking the hard questions today, huh kid.

Tucana: TVs make sinks dirty too :(.

What has this bad joke/personality quirk even become?



Deanna: Fuck this shit I'm out.

Felix: Don't leave meeeeee

Vela: *death stare*

Pollux: Help me daddy!

Felix: Ugh.



Aldebaran: Wow I'm lucky to be out of that mess.

Orion: When we asked to be let off we didn't mean literally thrown off the bus into the exact same spot so we all merged.

Tucana: Now this is good quality programming.

Alsephina: No, this is bullshit! Stop poking my intestines, Tucana!

Tucana: But they're squiiiishy.

Orion: It's probably good you're not taking over Dad's legacy, and I say that as someone who doesn't even care about Dad's dumb legacy.

Aldebaran: I mean Dad hates us.

Alsephina: Can we stop being angsty, get out of this human-pile - GET OFF MY SPLEEN, TUCANA - and just do some homework or something.

Side note, they nearly all graded up. The two eldest to As, and Aldebaran to a B. Seph was close.



Tucana had her good pal Channing over...

Tucana: Wanna see something cool?

Channing: I never quite know what that means with you...



Her other pal-

Tucana: Acquaintance. That one is strictly an acquaintance.

Is just making fun of Seph.

Skylar: And your hair is STUPID.

Alsephina: My entire life is bullshit.

Skylar: Yup.

Alsephina: Oh why did I even fucking say that, Jesus H Christ.

Aldebaran: Dammit, Seph, you couldn't have said that earlier? I put Jesus's middle name as Steve earlier! STEVE. How am I gonna be an A student now?



It's her birthday!

Skylar is still the one person to care about Tucana's ageing.

Aldebaran: This homework is haaaard.

Alsephina: You little bitch.

Skylar: Whooo!

Channing: I care - no I don't, I want a burrito.

Tucana: Some friend.

Orion: Can I latch onto that plan, my good fam?



Tucana: I hate every single person in this room right now. Actually, I might just hate everyone.

Tucana here gained the Hates Children trait, and the Public Enemy aspiration.

Tucana: Also I understand Dad now, I think.

Orion: Ew.



Hello Deanna clone...I mean Tucana. Deanna's cute so Tucana is also cute. I like her even if she's the biggest failure possible.

Tucana: WOW

Well it's-

Tucana: Nah, I'm messing with you.



I grew up Channing too because we know what's about to happen.

Tucana: And he's gonna realise in about two minutes, huh?

Yep. Hey, you make more sense now, Tucana. That's good I guess.



Yowza he grew up pretty damn cute. If one of the eldest four was eligible for heir he'd be Gen 2 spouse easily.

Tucana: But you intend for him to be mine, producer, no?

You're right.

Vela: Ugh. Their ponytails match.

I will change that hair.

Channing: Hehe, no you won't.

Yeah, I won't. Can't be arsed to take another trip to CAS.



There is finally one fully capable person in this house of utter and complete chaos...how are you finding it, Tucana?

Tucana: GRRR. ALSEPHINA. GET OUT.

Alsephina: But everything needs to be cleeeeaaan.

Damn neat trait.

Tucana: You're stabbing me through the fuckin leg!



Felix and De are having...a rough time of it.

Deanna: I'm so thirsty I could up-and-drain one of the damn children.

Felix: Well don't talk, just do!

Deanna: I was joking.

Felix:...



Deanna 'drained' Mr Don Lothario instead.



Then it was onto bathing this kid.

Deanna: Look at me when I'm bathing you, you don't want soap in your eyes.

Pollux: But I don't want to look at you either Mummy.

Deanna: Don't look at me like that, Watcher. Who has time for clothes?



Tucana bathes This Other Kid. Despite hating children.

Tucana: This season is cursed and I would like a pay raise.

Vela: Please. I am the most memorable child in this family.

Yeah fair. I only remember you and Tucana most of the time.



Vela: You will fall before me. Everybody will, eventually.

Tucana: Uggggh I just want a goddamn taco.



Orion: Fuck you, Dad!

Felix: Good morning to you too son. I don't like you.

Orion: I'm ANGRY we're in agreement.

Felix: You're angry at the world. Go take a shower and calm your little ass down.



Orion: And YOU! Ever since you let that weird fanged thing bite you you've paid us even LESS attention!

Bearcula: Don't work out your mother issues on my time, kid.

Deanna, yelling from the next room over: I'M TRYING OK



Deanna: Morning, my two lovely eldest kids. It's been a while.

Tucana: *hiss* Tell the producer to stop! Vela get out of my head!

Deanna: You're the same. 'Rion?

Orion: Oh I'm fine fine fine-ally fine, Mother didn't you hear?

Deanna:...That's not what I heard.



Felix: You little pain in the ass.

Tucana: OMG he issss. Aldebaran, who remembers him?

Aldebaran:...Good morning to you too.



Vela: The day of childhood approaches...and I have many plans to complete. I am Little Sister, but I will grow to be the biggest of all.

Shh, already-spare.

Vela: First, I will strangle my br-



Vela: Ooh, a metal circle! Fun fun fun!

Get out of there!



After school...

Aldebaran: Halp I'm blind.

Tucana: Well then you should have ducked.

Alsephina: Lmao get wrecked boi, you know she hates us all.

Tucana: *sniff* I don't WANT toooooo...it's the producer and her assigning of my very nature.

Alsephina: Gesundheit. Can you get rid of the two tiny ones?

Tucana: I guess that'll make them more tolerable.

It's their birthdays!



Terrence: *blows horn as loud as possible*

Alsephina:...Do you have to do that right behind me?

Aldebaran: Hey it's not like the kitchen is usually any quieter.

Alsephina:...Shit you're right. How ARE we making Bs?



Tucana: What the fuck I thought you were a boy.

Pollux: Holy HELL this bathrobe is comfy! Perfect to sit and read books in.

Tucana: It's cute you think you'll get enough peace around here to read at all. I haven't read a book since...can I even read?

Pollux:...

Tucana: Oh, whatever. Get out of the way, it's Vela's turn.

Pollux rolled Bookworm and Whiz Kid, like his brother Aldebaran. I think? Too many damn kids.



Vela: Head of the family...exactly where I should be.

Alsephina: Yeah, but if you were on fire and told me to piss on you, I'd only do it on the parts that weren't burning!

Pollux: You are all so loud!

Alsephina: Hey, Tucana wasn't making that up. Welcome to your life here, little brother.

Terrence: Your sister's pretty hot, lil blue dude. Tips?

Aldebaran: ...Nope. Nope nope nope. Don't ask me that shit.

By the way, Vela got the Erratic/Insane trait like her dear father. And the Scamp aspiration.



Tucana: This is my nightmare.

Aldebaran: Staring contest?

Pollux: Staring contest.

Vela: Here they are, my subjects.

Tucana: Shut up Vela you don't own shit.

Orion: I'm talking to you with my back turned because I'm RUDE now.

Alsephina: You've always been rude!

Skylar: Hey loser! Loser! Loser!

Alsephina: You hear something?



Felix: Promotion!

Deanna: My stomach's gonna eat itself...or maybe eat you Felix, get someone over?

Felix: Yes dear!



Later...

Felix: Are you going to stand and stare at my awesome and beautiful body all night, or...do anything else. Literally anything, man.

Don: Your wife has consumed my blood and you're @ing me?

Felix: DON'T TALK ABOUT MY - I mean snore, zzz, I'm asleep.



Morning comes and the kids start getting out of bed.

Orion:...Oh, right. That's Mum right there.

Bat-Deanna: *hisssss*

Vela: I need to learn to do that.



Alsephina: Why, Rion, why? I was just about to reenact last night's Chopped!

Orion: It's a good morning when I make someone cry. Shows that I have an AWESOME impact.

Deanna: You do remind me of your father, dear.



Deanna: Our what?

Felix: Marriage license!

Deanna: Sure let's do it. It's been long enough.

Felix: Awesomesauce. That little bugger on the floor can be our witness.

Deanna: That's Pollux dear.

Aldebaran: No...

Deanna: Uh...Aldephina?

Aldebaran: Oh never mind!



Felix: Oh De, I really don't deserve you.

Deanna: Nobody does. But you've got a cute face, decent brain and healthy self-esteem. Also we have six kids, if you wanted to back out you should have done it before now.

Felix: I-I don't!

Deanna: Good then it's settled.



Vela: I just did my training. I'm gonna get reeeeeal strong.

Pollux: Eep!

Felix and Deanna: *heavy sloppy makeout sesh*



Look at this army of children they're sending to school.

Vela: Wanna help me put gum in everyone's hair?

Meanwhile...

Alsephina: Lol you're literally eating ass.

Tucana: I am so uncomfortable.



The journey back from school is even more uncomfortable.

Tucana: I don't WANT to be the head of this fucked up mess.

Aldebaran got an A.

Tucana: That's not important right now!



There were no birthdays or friends over, so they literally just had a massive homework session.

Kids: Yayyyyy.



Vela: Orion dear, I think our sister may be...

Orion, muttering: Dun dun dun

Vela:...stupid!

Alsephina: I know there's chairs free, this is just good for the knees.

Vela: Yeah, total lost cause. Absolutely dumb.

Orion: Stupid.



Pollux: Yeah. Stupid.

Aldebaran: I'm ashamed we shared the same womb.

Pollux: Now it definitely shows that you're twins. We all shared the same womb.

Aldebaran: Well maybe that makes you stupid too?

Pollux: Nah.



Deanna: Those idiots I work with...

Felix: Hmm. So...you too pissed off to belatedly celebrate our wedding, babe?

Deanna: Well I didn't say that.



Tucana: Dad I know you hate kids...so why'd you have to have so many?

Felix, glaring pointedly upwards: Ask her.

I'm more in front of y'all...



Don: Dammit, Deanna, again? There's half-inch deep holes in my damn neck!

Deanna: Eh...I got thirsty.

Don: That's not an excuse!

Deanna: Whatever. Let's play chess.

Don: Fine!

And so they did.



Vela: *hiss*  I'm gonna rip your throat out!

Aldebaran: Hehehehehe...she's kidding right?

Vela: I will end you all and take my rightful place as true heir!



Oh, and Alsephina got an A.

Alsephina: Yeah, that's a wonder, isn't it? This house is chaos.

Tucana, somewhere else in the kitchen: Don't you start, you've seen nothing, little girl.



Also it's Orion's birthday. No friends over either.

Orion: Because nobody wants to come over here, I don't want to be here either, let's grow up!



Tucana: Finally, another ally against the small rats.

Pollux: I'm right here.

Alsephina: *through mouthful of grilled cheese* Do you really think she cares?

Orion: Shut up, let me just get this algebra done and then I want to frolic. And then I want to go hit that stupid doll. And then I want-

Tucana:...OK, I'm just waiting for the twins to grow up.

Orion grew up with the Loves Outdoors trait, and Successful Lineage aspiration.

Meanwhile...

Aldebaran: Team Blue, huh Vel?

Vela: Don't speak to me you worm.



He's actually really cute. All the kids are.



Tucana: Sit there one more minute and I'll start throwing the chess pieces.

Alsephina: Ah. Me sitting here is really pissing you off, isn't it?

Tucana: I've never tried to hide that I hate you vermin children.



Felix: You don't understand I was FORCED.

Tucana: My entire family are morons.

Felix: Ugh, well you too, darling daughter.



Vela: Well...this was the last bowl of salad.

Aldebaran: Oh dear...I guess it's dinner out one of the vending machines at school. Again!

Alsephina: Shit. I'll get Orion to knock it really good so we get some shit for free.

Pollux: Hey, didn't Dad make tilapia last night?

Aldebaran: Egads, you still trust Dad with cooking? He hates us!



Felix: Really? I have to grow up?!

Yes.

Orion: Ugh, Dad, get out of my space. Who cares anyway?

Tucana: This is a boring fucking episode.

Aldebaran: And see here, taking place is...nothing important at all!

Vela: Ha! Maybe I won't kill you after all, Aldebaran.

Felix: Wow, I really feel the love from you ungrateful lot.

Tucana: What am I supposed to be grateful for?



Siobhan: Look, I know what happens here. But for the love of God don't do this to my baby.

Damn. Deanna you only have one option left.



Deanna: I'm actually fine with that. I could crush his weak little windpipe without chipping my manicure.

You have six kids. You don't have a manicure.



Masato the creep: So, I see you've given that faithfulness a think, huh De?

Deanna: No. My husband can be seen behind you making pancakes.

Felix: HEY, this is MY LEGA-

Deanna: Let's just talk.



Felix: Good conversation, De?

Deanna: Yeah.

Felix: Just goes to show, my wife is actually pretty awesome.

That's nice Felix.

Felix: No wonder she chose me.



The younger twins received Bs.

Pollux: I think I'm gonna need facial reconstruction surgery.

Orion: Stop whining, you'll be fine in a second.



Orion: Seriously what the hell is wrong with this kid?

Pollux: Push it up!



Pollux: I'M TELLING VELA.

Tucana: I'm not scared of that little shit, I'll punt her across the room - oh, are you gonna cry? Goddamn, it's just a stupid dollhouse. A girl has to put her frustrations somewhere.



Felix: Hello...blue one. One of the blue ones. Hey, you.

Vela:...Wow. I think I might hate you, Dad. Maybe I don't hate the family. Maybe it's just you.

Felix:...Oh whatever. Eat your sandwich and get out of my sight. A man needs to relax.

Vela: Oh you're hardly a man.



Felix: Wanna make sweet awesome love, love?

Deanna: Mmmm, ravish me.

Vela: Wait. Maybe I do hate this whole family. Yeah I'm gonna take this whole place over one day.

Except you're not, because you're not heir.



Vela:...Really? But I'm the closest match to Dad, you said so! That's not FAIR-

Fine. You're the only kid with 2 of his colourings, and if there are anymore you'll be the oldest of them. So if we don't get a perfect match you can have it, how's about that.

Vela: Ugh...wait. I'll have to deal with little siblings?! Ew!

Yeah. Once Tucana moves out Deanna will be pregnant again, immediately.

Vela: Dammit! Now I understand my eldest sister, and I really didn't want to.



Aldebaran: This grilled cheese tastes like regrets.

Deanna: Probably mine. But hey, at least I'm a vampire now - oh come on, look at me when I'm taking to you.

Aldebaran: Put clothes on then, Mum!

It's Saturday morning and...yeah. Saturday morning here.



Tucana: I don't WANT to sign up for another season.

Orion: Yeah. She's finally lost it. God I'm surrounded by fools.



Tucana: I'm gonna destroy this whole set!

Alsephina: Really Tuca? Again? I know you hate me by your very nature but...

Pollux: Come on! I just woke up? You couldn't even give me a chance to tell the dolls good morning?

Tucana: They're not real, you fool.

Aldebaran: Let's cry and make her feel bad.

Alsephina: Do you actually think that will work?



Tucana: ALright, fine, FINE. I'm feeling a lot better, I'll fix up your stupid fake house - Aldebaran, get your head out of my ASS!

Pollux: Woe is the dolls! Woe is ME!

Tucana: Yeah woe is you, you were born here.

Deanna: *stares at the wall like the soulless thing she's been made into*



Tucana: See? I stopped by the preschool and tore heads off the teddy bears!

Orion: That's so funny I could SLAP YOU

Tucana: Ahahahahaha....but seriously, please don't.



Alsephina: Yeah! I love this house! I love Mum slurping her juicebox right next to my face. I love eating wilted salad for breakfast. I don't love -

Felix: Me? Yeah, I knew it kid. Well I don't like any of you either.

Orion: Watch me care, Sephy.

Deanna: *slurps obnoxiously*



Alsephina: I want to break free.

Felix: So do I kid.

Alsephina: But this is your house.

Felix: I said what I said.



Felix: Why did you make me do this?

That's right, we're taking this lot on an outing. The kids finished their skills, so did Tucana. I think they need friends.



Vela: Well. Nobody else is here. That means I will certainly push you off this pirate ship...if I get bored.

Aldebaran: Then I will do my best to be entertaining!



Vela: Aldebarannnnn I'm bored.

Pollux: I don't exist right now, right Vel?

Vela: I can push you too, don't try me. The fact that we shared a womb means nothing.

Aldebaran: Well, technically we all-

Pollux: Just shh, it's not worth it.



Alsephina: And this is Purple Man, master of Purple...oh what the f-

Turban guy:  Wow, this little girl is playing with a toy! Hell yeah!

Red dress: *claps* I love to see it! Keep going, little girl, keep going!

Alsephina: I don't want to play at this park anymore.

Yikes. I don't even blame you, child.



Vela: I will rise, as the one true Little Sister of them all!

Aldebaran: At least I can PRETEND to kill this literal demon!



Tucana: Hey, lady, what the fuck were you saying to my little siblings?

Red dress: Well-

Tucana: How dare you even try to positively reinforce them? I want booing. BOOING! Even better, just punt the little shits and their toys into that pond over there.



Orion: Kid, yelling 'grill me a cheese' at me isn't going to help. Go rummage in a trashcan or something.

Francis: But Mister, pleeeease...cheeeeeeese.



Pollux: I'm gonna pretend to shoot dad in the head with a cannonball!

Alsephina: Lol nice. I'm doing it in my head.

Felix: See Orion, this is why you're my favourite kid.

Orion: Oh wow, what an honour. JK, you're not awesome and I can't wait to leave.

Gardener: This entire family is a mess, Jesus Christ.



Felix: He's wrong! I am still awesome, even though I'm 40 with six kids I don't want and none of my dreams fulfilled! I am COOL!

Aldebaran: Is he talking to me?

Alsephina: Who cares? Join me in lightly giggling at Dad finally losing his mind.

Aldebaran: Good idea, Seph.



Vela: I am finally the queen-

Felix, yelling: Listen up you little shits, get in the car in two minutes flat or I'm stranding you here.

Vela: Really? He'll pay!



At home, just as I was thinking the afternoon was gonna be uneventful...

FELIX.

Felix: How could this happen to me?



Tucana: Aw come on Mum, why couldn't you just let him burn?

Orion: Or at least, let him burn a bit longer! You spoil all our fun.

Pollux: Aieeee! I'm gonna burn alive.

Felix: Really kid? Do you see where the fire is, and where I am? Really?

Deanna: All of you shut up and let me work. Especially you two older ones. I'm not raising sociopaths here.

But you are raising Sutherlands so...



Deanna: One of you is cleaning that damn floor...you, Tucana. That's gonna be you.

Tucana: This is bullshit. I want a raise.

Deanna: You're not an actress, you're a child living in this chaos and you will help on GOD or-

Tucana: Shit alright I'm doing it.



Vela: Seriously? I was this close to becoming queen of this home.

Pollux:...But you're glad I'm alive at least, right Vel?

Vela: I'll get back to you on that.



Aldebaran was the only kid to actually run out of the house during the fire.

Aldebaran: And that's why I'll eventually rise above them all...but it doesn't have to be here, of course. I ain't Vela.

Why is that beaker there?



And of course, nothing will stop their sex life.

Deanna: You still smell smoky.

Felix: Do you care?

Deanna: Nah it's kind of hot. Bedroom?

Felix: Bedroom.



Alsephina: My parents are fucking heathens.

Yup.



I then got really into building a new house for them. The other one was cramped and annoying to take pics in, and De and Felix saved up a nice little nest egg.



I built Felix a little outdoor area for his exercise. There's the treadmill, and there's a weight machine behind it.

Hopefully we can add stuff to make the back of the house look less lopsided.



Upstairs with the girls room, boys room and skill room. Hopefully they can start looking less bare.



The downstairs is the same but everything is just a bit bigger/ The empty room on the right is going to be a nursery but we don't really need one right now so it stays like that.

Anyway. This is literally the best house I've ever built on the Sims. Yes, I am crap at building in this game.



Well, in a few days when Tucana leaves.

Deanna: Awww, FUCK. It was just an idea, I wish I never thought it!

Sorry dear. It's going to happen anyway.

...Next week.


Twins - Sun

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