Elin: Gunther? Go inside and write a book or something. I'm sick of looking at you.
Gunther: ...Of course. Why would I think any different?
Elin: Oh stop whining, you already screwed me today. Just go!
Elin: *mutters* Why are you in my house, Leland...Egypt dear, do your homework please.
Egypt: Mum you're gonna tell me to do my homework while you...oh never mind, I suppose I need to keep my average up. Or I'll never leave this place.
Fiji: Well yes, Gunther. That was Mum's friend. She has a lot of friends.
Egypt: Haaaaa.
Mala: So your dad isn't that weird cop? Ooh, the story gets juicier and juicier!
Fiji: Go look in the mirror and think about your life, scrub.
Gunther: *sigh* This is not what I wanted out of a marriage.
Egypt: I'm sure she loves you. As much as she can love anyone. So not at all.
Mala: Mum doesn't love us? Well I guess she locked me in a nursery for most of my babyhood.
Gunther: Old news. Now do your homework you little shits.
Leland: But-
Elin: No buts. Get out. Hope you enjoyed your last taste of youth, old man!
Why are you so happy about this, El?
Elin: I don't miss pregnancy, or babies, but damn I missed cucking my husband!
Of course.
Now go and-
Elin: Lie to him, yeah yeah. I know the drill.
Gunther: Oh, what? Another baby that's totally mine?
Elin: Yes. It is. Remember what happened today? We did it in a bush? Sex has consequences, Gunther.
Mala: Ew, didn't need to hear that.
Gunther: So why did you send me inside-
Elin: It's like I said. I was sick of looking at your face.
Gunther: And the rocket-
Elin: Hey, that's not just a 'WooHoo' area, I fly many space missions too.
Gunther: It was a space mission?
Elin: Yes.
Gunther: And you didn't-
Elin: No.
Gunther: Fine. Yay, a kid of my own. Finally.
Azerbaijan: Ah. Mum's still Mum. Now I don't live here anymore, it's actually pretty funny.
Az always seemed like a nice enough kid, but Sutherlands gotta Sutherland.
Fiji: Who is this FOOL?
Az: I guess you're right, Watcher. Sutherlands gotta Sutherland. I'm sure Maranda would like it if I embraced my inner Sutherland more often.
Fiji: What are you rambling on about? Get out of this house!
Az: Kid I lived here 20 years before you were even born, don't even.
Egypt is stocking the fridge. I'm gonna miss having this kid around.
Egypt: Aww. She's almost sweet when she's sleepy.
Fiji: Bite me.
Egypt: You're lucky I don't feel like taking that shit literally.
Morningtimes...
Elin: Ugh. Is cucking Gunther really worth all this nausea? And the sudden craving for mac 'n' cheese?
Guatemala: What's a-
Elin: Nobody talk to me! I'm SICK!
Guatemala: I'll just take my shower. And ask Gunther, while 100% explaining why I'm even asking.
Elin: DON'T YOU DARE.
LOL Ali Benali. Love that.
Also I might get a baby out of that guy, Vampire kids are useful.
Gunther: *sigh* A recurring rash and another damn baby. That quick and unenthusiastic sex with Elin was not worth it...such is my lot in life.
Denmark: In my time away-
You've been away for one night, now shoot.
Denmark: ANYWAY in my time away I have gained a modicum of respect for Gunther. He sucks but he can cook pretty well. Cam and Dji suck.
Well have you tried cooking?
Denmark: Lol of course not.
Egypt: Oh God the sunlight! Existing HURTS.
Fiji: Huh. I guess it ain't so good to be a vampire, huh?
Guatemala: Lol.
Fiji: This doesn't concern you. You didn't have to hear him brag for 80 years right after he aged up.
Their grades have held strong. Egypt's at an A (he can move out tomorrow) and the girls at Bs. Both should grade up tomorrow.
Egypt: Ew, Fij, you stink. Now if you were a VAMPIRE-
Fiji: Why you little-
Elin: Enough! Egypt, you can't even go out in the damn sun, lose your ego! And you, Fiji. Your brother was just born like that, he can do cool shit, deal.
Mala: Don't look at me like that. Can you really blame me for hiding in my old nursery every so often?
...No. I really can't.
Elin: Mala that's the worst workout music ever.
Mala: Who says I'm playing for you?
Elin: *mutters* Disrespectful little shits...I pushed you out of my body, y'know!
Cambodia.
Why?
Fiji: That was like, pure caffeine, I feel awesome! I'll go all night. See EGYPT, you don't have to be a vampire to stay up late!
Fiji doesn't have enough skill to get her B tomorrow. So sleep replacement is the way to go.
Egypt, outside:...Who's yelling at me? What did I do this time? Fuck this house, honestly.
Gunther: Why am I STILL ITCHY? I'm never using that bush again, Elin!
Elin: Oh watch me care! I won't, because I'm way too damn nauseated to!
Fiji: Lol.
Egypt: You brought this on yourselves, what-passes-for-parents.
Elin: Hahahaha! Blackmail material, bank accounts...this hacking shit is USEFUL.
You're giving me Randomcy!Lux vibes. But you do you.
I got off my ass and finally gave the house a facelift. They had 60k in savings, no reason to have a living area so cramped and crappy. So we put a study upstairs, and moved two computers + the chess table up there. We upgraded the computers Elin wasn't using to the unbreakable ones (and will do the other one once she's done). Then we got the best quality stove and fridge. And added a closet to Gunther and Elin's room. Oh, also an observatory outside.
Y'know, for WooHoo.
The dishes are all from Cam and Den, the Kleptos of the household. They stole from school. We're NanoCan-ing em so at least they're worth something.
Lol this is Leland's wife.
Lillie: This hoe. Well, good luck to her. How desperate does she have to be?
Fiji and Mala got their As. Nice work, girls. And Egypt's ready to move out.
Mala: Do they know we can see the observatory shaking?
Fiji: Oh 100%. They just couldn't give less of a shit.
Egypt: Yeah, I'm getting the fuck inside...and not just because I'm a vampire and might die if I don't.
Egypt aged up really cute! Especially for a Vlad Straud kid.
He got the slob trait and he is now going to move out with his older siblings.
This is literally everyone left in the house.
It hasn't been so empty since Cambodia was born.
Elin is making headway on refilling it though.
Elin: Hello, good sir. You have nice eyes - damn, am I out of practice?
Alfonso: I get that a lot. And don't worry, you're lovely but...very pregnant? Uh-
Elin: Oh. Ignore that.
Great. A+. Thanks a lot. Maybe this one is a dead end.
Alfonso: Yeah, why are you surprised? 'Lovely' isn't exactly the most sexual of compliments.
Vlad piss off, Egypt doesn't live here anymore. Go to his place.
Cam, Den and Dji: Uh...no, please don't.
Dji got married. Congratulations to him.
And she's pregnant with someone else's kid. Maybe he thinks it's normal. No matter how hard he tries, this upbringing will always affect him.
F.
Elin: Why is there a goddamn lake in my kitchen? *sigh* GUNTHER!
Gunther proceeded to repair everything and clean up all the trash. Good man.
Guatemala is also doing well! She's almost Level 9 creativity.
Mala: I'm learning my first concerto!
Gunther: Meh. Shit gardening music, kid.
Mala: Uh, again, I'm not playing for you selfish assholes.
Fiji: OW, fucking COUCH. Why is this there? Who moved everything?
Me, and I did it yesterday, you had plenty of time to learn where things are.
Anyway, she's Level 4 now. This skill only goes to 5 levels, so that's pretty good. She should be done this weekend.
Fiji: Ow, my face! How did my foot even get there? And the damn radio's broken. GUNTHER!
I have come to the conclusion that Fiji dancing is way more interesting than any of the other skilling going on.
Elin: Yeah, um, it's very exclusive. So come meet me!
Elin made a club and added a bunch of random men. I can't be bothered to have her seduce the unflirty guy from last night (even if he had nice eyes) so we're going for Mortimer Goth, to check the Willow Creek category.
Mortimer: Why is there an incense holder on the floor?
Mala: Yeah Mum. Why is that?
Mortimer: And where's the exclusivity? Who's the kid - killing it on violin, by the way kid, whoever you are. And-
Elin: Sh. Sh sh sh. Just take a deep breath of that lovely pink incense and everything will make sense.
Mala: I never saw nothing. Seriously, I don't even wanna know.
Mortimer: A rose? You shouldn't have.
Elin: Yeeees...gooood....
Really Elin?
Elin: This peasant didn't ask if he could touch my hands with his LIPS!
Mortimer: Who are you calling peasant, peasant? You have a bed on your damn front lawn!
Mala: Haha. Well. I'm done, and I'm out, and I don't have to be involved anymore.
She finished creativity! Ayyy!
Mortimer: Seriously? You cannot be looking down on ME, Elin Sutherland!
Elin: The Sutherlands have a long and pr - ok, LONG history!
Aaand Fiji's done too. Nice one girls.
These two got back on track. Now don't fuck it up, ELIN.
Elin: Now, let's just agree that we're both equally important.
Mortimer:...Fine. But only because you're kinda pretty.
Elin:...Kinda? Excuse you-
Mortimer: Wait what am I DOING?
Looks like you're doing Elin, ha ha ha.
Mortimer: Oh God I'm destroying my life. For this random pregnant girl. Oh my God.
Elin: Stop babbling and get in here!
Mortimer: Yes El!
Elin had a nap afterwards. She almost looks sweet here!
Elin: Well yeah, I'm tired. But from this baby in me, not Mortimer. That was like...ehhhh.
Elin: Oh SHIT.
Baby H is coming!
Fiji: That screaming upstairs?
Gunther: Yes, I hear it, now what do you-
Fiji: 'Tis another one of Mum's little bastards.
Gunther: You are really too old to be jealous of your little sibling like that-
Fiji: Huh. You really don't want to hear what I'm saying, do you?
It's just the one, thank Christ.
Everybody meet Honduras!
Elin: Murder capital of the world, right?
Of course you'd say that.
Right, there's three free household slots, so next time is just Baby I!
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