Kai: I knew this would suck.
Missy: I'm doing my best here.
Kai: Just go to bed, Mum.
Even Kai knows what's up Missy!
She did go (in my second playthrough of the start of this chapter, I was fucking around with MCCC for too long and my game noped out on me).
Kai: Wake up and play with me, sissies!
Tamsin: Oh what in the Christ does this little shit want?
Danika, mumbling sleepily and putting the pillow over her head: Not your sister, you handle this Tamsss...
Tamsin: Fuck.
Danika: Uggghhh, what does he want?
Tamsin: Don't worry, I sent him in the way of Dad, it's not our problem anymore.
Danika: You're a good grand-niece.
Kai shut up and go to sleep. Do you want there to be another chapter named after people in this family not sleeping right?
Sahara: I'm awake too now!
Mason, offscreen: *probably crying a bit*
Tonya: Heh.
GET OUT OF THE PLUMBING. I swear I'll delete you.
Tonya: No you w-
Did I stutter?
Later, with the toddlers sorted out and the children...
Danika: All by myself, don't wanna be all by my-
Mason: We're right behind you, Dani.
Danika: You guys don't count!
Tamsin: God Dad, is she always like this?
Mason: About a hundred years dead will do that to someone, y'know.
'Tis a rare sight indeed: Missy on a full sleep bar.
Missy: This burger tastes rotten.
She's still stupid tho.
Tamsin: Too right. Like, it is rotten, Mum. You shouldn't eat it.
Missy: Do I tell you what to do?
Tamsin: Nah, even though you're my mum and I'm pretty sure you should.
Hey look Missy, I got you points back.
+15.
But I couldn't be bothered to renovate so how did I add 150k value to this house?
Meet the Sutherland Statue Army, led by General Jackalope. They live on the roof now.
Danika: Could you get that rank burger away from me when I'm gaming?
Missy: I mean it only tastes bad, how bad could it smell?
Danika: Those two senses are linked! And it's off! The burger is OFF. Stop eating it!
Missy you still have your nauseated moodlet, you're definitely gonna puke if you do this.
Aaliyah: Ah...sweet silence.
Not inside the house it isn't. The toddlers woke up and they ain't happy.
Missy: Maybe I need to stop eating food that tastes bad.
You think?
Missy: *bleeeuurrggh*
She definitely isn't pregnant. They haven't had time for WooHoo since Kai was conceived.
Kai: You think you're smarter than me, Tam? I have independence. It says it. Right there on my trait panel.
Tamsin: You are but a fool and know nothing.
Danika: Guys can one of you help me figure this out? Third grade is hard.
Tamsin: Danika you are one hundred years old, you should be able to do an elementary-level reading exercise.
Aaliyah: So...do I get let in this time, or is everybody still rude?
Let yourself in, they don't lock their doors.
Danika: Awww, Aaliyah, you're getting so big.
Aaliyah: Well I am pregnant, dear-
Danika: Not just that area, Ali.
Aaliyah: You're still a little shit. A dead little shit.
Danika: Y'know-
You were asking for that one, Dani.
Rest in pieces of shit you piece of shit. Enjoy watching Summer remarry and forget about you.
Tamsin: So if I've calculated this flight path correctly, I can use the REAL rocket to get away from this place.
No.
You're not using that thing.
Tamsin: Dad you really shouldn't leave.
Mason: I've made up my mind, I'm running away to the circus.
Tamsin: No, Auntie Ali invited you for one performance. But you shouldn't even leave for that.
Mason: I need a break.
Tamsin: I know. But I remember what you told me when I was just a baby myself. THs don't get breaks.
Sahara: No way, dirt flecks, y'all are WRONG-
This is what happens when Mason leaves the rest of them I guess.
Meanwhile Tamsin is on a dish-clearing binge, Missy is eating some non-spoiled food, Kai is on the potty (we love the independent trait) and Danika is doing Danika things somewhere. I don't even know anymore.
Mason's back!
Mason: See Tamsin, everything's fine! Come on Sari, let's be tigers!
Sari: Grrr...Dad I'mma fall!
Mason: Grrrr!
Sari: DAAAAD
Sari runs around a lot, probably because she's a wild little bean. She's so cute with her little arms out like that.
Sari: I'm not cute! I'm angry!
You toddlers are always angry. And your angry faces are usually pretty cute.
Bentley: I did a good?
No dear. I won't delete you because you were Zen's second partner/first husband and the damn father of our current TH, but please just get on the waterslide or something else. Stop breaking the plumbing.
Tamsin: Seriously? What is it, Sari?
Danika: Uggggh, I'm so ready to leave this place.
D'awwww!
Bentley: Yeah, so I'm your granddad. Need help with those dolls?
Tamsin: Oh my God you're so stupid, what do you even want?
Sahara: I'm tired again!
Tamsin: So you came out here to tell me that? I was simulating a new flight path and now I've lost my train of thought. Go! Git! Get inside!
Danika: I think that food was spoiled.
Oh God, it's spreading. Missy what have you brought upon this household?
Danika: I'm gonna be throwing up sooooo much ectoplasm. Yeuch.
I didn't mention this before, but now you need to actually fertilise stuff to make it evolve. That's why Mason's Gardening Level 9 and hasn't evolved a single plant. Until now. Woot!
+5 son! This next one should be completed really easily.
OK, bye Mason's points.
The children, due to their early rude awakening, have both taken naps.
Danika: Tam I can smell you even facing away, and on this bed.
Tamsin: Dammit Danika, my idiot sister woke us up at 2am, I really just need my sleep.
Sahara: Waaahhh! I want food that renders properly!
Mason: I want to have my first headache-free day since Tamsin was born.
Mason: Maybe I've got a shot. Hurry up, Sari, become self-sufficient!
It's Sari's birthday! Me and Mason say 'thank FUCK'.
Here she is! She's got the Music Lover trait like her sister and mum, with the Rambunctious Scamp aspiration. And as I thought, she really does look a lot like Mason and Tamsin. But she has a different face shape.
The first thing she did in childhood was pass out. Sleep soundly for once, Sahara. It might help. Don't be like your mother.
Sahara: *yawn* Wasn't planning on it.
-5 tho :(
Look at all of this! Woot woot!
+5, and for a further +15, all we have to do is level up in gardening skill. We're already part of the way there.
Missy got a promotion. She also got dropped off home across the street and I think that broke her.
Missy: Where the fuck is the house? I want my bed and a burrito.
*sigh* I'll get Mason to get you inside.
We can do that because Kai is such a good kid! Look at him pottying on his own!
Kai: I like it better without the other idiots around me. Independence for life!
Drago: Amen kid.
Blammo, that's how Missy got inside.
Missy: Oh, my hero.
Mason: It just...wasn't that hard to find. But whatever, at least you're inside and we're actually touching each other.
Missy: God I know it's been fucking ages.
Kai: One day I'm gonna grow thiiiiis big!
Danika: You don't have to rub it in, y'know!
Kai:...wha?
Ew what the fuck did you guys do in there?
Missy: Apparently we did 'getting me pregnant'!
Yeah so...
Missy: Why?
I like having four kids a generation! Provides variety. Plus there's enough space and all-
Missy: Just for that I hope I pass out on you. All the time.
Sari: Another baby? Really?
Missy: Ohohoho I'm not exactly thrilled about it either, dear.
Mercy: Hey, not even me and Sunspot over here can resist the call of the slide.
...Sunspot?
Mercy: I know He killed me, but I am happy with my Sunspot, honest.
OK Ms Stockholm Syndrome.
Missy: The bed just doesn't have the right vibe for me today.
Sighhhhhhh.
A mere three hours later, Tamsin is already awake. But she slept a while so I'm alright with that.
Tamsin: Everything is meaningless.
Oh eat a Snickers, kid.
Tamsin: I mean I am gonna have some leftover spaghetti.
...That'll do.
Tamsin: But good grades mean money, and money means doing mindless activities to distract yourself from the finality of death.
You're like eight, you need to chill.
Tamsin: I'm just wise.
Tamsin: Aaaand finished. There's the bus, let's go!
Danika: I've been going to that school for a century, do you really think I could give a shit.
Aaliyah: There'll be drinks!
Mason: Why yes, Aaliyah, I'll leave my young and vulnerable children at home in the hands of idiots so I can go get drunk at a historical site.
Aaliyah: Why not? It's what I do.
Kai: If I hide here...maybe I won't be found?
Kai's needs are finally being taken care of properly, and because he's independent he's happy to just bum around by himself. So Mason can do chores.
I'm gonna see if I can get Mason that damn angelfish. Then we'd be almost done, actually.
Aaliyah: Fine, I'm having my party here. With this kid.
Madeleine:...You're literally my mother but OK.
More guests!
Summer: Do you only own a basic tank top and ugly ass leggings or-?
Ebony: Whoa - WHOA! Don't think you can judge me, ho!
Summer: Oh give it a rest, that was ages ago. Like, he's dead now.
Ebony: Bitch that was my FATHER.
Summer: I know but...you hated him, come on!
Ebony: Still!
Groot: Your invite contained verbal abuse too, huh?
Andrew (Ebony's son): No I just really didn't want to come.
Lux: Wow, this spawn of my whacko Aunt Mercy is exactly as sad as I thought she'd be.
Shannon: You can just call me 'cousin', Lux.
Summer: Even my best granddaughter invites sadboys to her parties. It just goes to show, nobody can be me. The Party Queen.
Groot: We're her relatives...and you're my mother!
Summer: No.
Groot: *mutters* Whatever...and nobody remembers your parties, they're all dead.
Lux, muttering to herself: Probably good nobody is you, Grandma...oh cheer up, Andrew. At least you're not Shannon. Or me. But mostly me. My life sucks.
Does it?
Andrew: *sniff* What are you even talking about? I'm not existentially sad! I just really didn't want to come!
The kids finished school so I brought them over as well.
Tamsin: Those are my Aunts? I'm not impressed.
Danika: Nothing impresses you.
Sari: They seem pretty stupid, which is funny.
Danika: Hey, Ali, Eb...you guys are just gonna ignore me? Like usual? OK.
Aaliyah: I mean, you're not a mother, Danika. We have things to talk about that you just won't understand.
Sari: And you probably won't be. At the rate Dad's going...
Mason: Hey, I'm doing better than Ma!
Ebony: Wow, being better to Danika than our mother. What a hero.
Summer: Red hair, black clothing...you do remind me of a certain recently-dead someone.
Catarina: Hehhh.
Summer don't, she's a furry.
Groot: *sigh* I always wish I had kids of my own...
Jorge: Lol from what Ali tells me, it's a good thing you didn't.
Groot: Are you serious dude, I haven't even met you before.
Jorge: And there's a reason for that.
Madeleine: Can someone feed me? Anyone?
Tamsin: This is what counts for a party?! God the world is useless.
Danika is just having a full-on shower here.
Danika: I ran out of fucks to give a long time ago, if you didn't realise.
Trust me. I realised.
Mason: Hey, hey Lux. It's been a while-
Lux: Piss off, Mason, I'm listening to Shannon's hilarious stories with Rutabaga here.
Roberto: Uhhh...
Shannon: ...It wasn't supposed to be funny! Have you ever got a call from your building society saying that your mother - who's supposed to be dead - 'redirected the funds'? And she still won't talk to me on Facebook!
Lux: Wow this is good trauma fodder, hahaha!
Mason: That's Aunty Mercy for you, she's really not a fan of children! But that's alright.
Shannon: Not if you're HER CHILD.
Groot: Even the baby's ignoring me!
Jorge: Yeah, she realised who the better man is. Also I'm her father...
Groot: You just ignored her for a full hour!
Lux: Oh, let's be real Groot, he's still the better man.
Tamsin: Could this stupid little shit get out of my way?
Madeline: Pan friends are BEST friends.
Mason: Anyway! Don't worry about it now, Shannon, you're part of the family!
Shannon: I don't want to be!
Lux: That's wise, kid.
Roberto: So now we've heard her backstory, you single, Luxy?
Lux: No, and even if I was I'd still say no.
Andrew: Can anyone lend me bus fare?
SUMMER GET AWAY FROM THE FURRY.
Aaliyah: Would you two little ragamuffins get out of my house? There's already enough people here, damn! Like I don't know you, and I don't want you around.
Sari: Sooooo stupid.
Tamsin: It's infuriating!
Sari:...It's mildly amusing.
Tamsin: Their taste in movies SUCKS.
Aaliyah: Maaaason...what kind of postage do I need to pay to send those two little blue girls back to where they belong?
Mason: Are you serious. I thought Missy had bad pregnancy brain.
Ebony: You do know Mason had kids, right Aaliyah? Which is crazy, I remember when he was a kid...am I getting old? Guys? Am I old?
Aaliyah and Mason: ...
Aaliyah: And now it's in my bathroom! Come on kid, I've got a baby jumping on my bladder, I need to use this toilet.
Groot: Who could they even belong to?
Sari: Soooo stupid. Is humanity doomed?
I see you're hanging out with Tamsin a lot.
Sari: Childhood has opened my eyes. As a baby, I was happy to just exist and be neglected and nearly break my nose falling off my dad's back. But now...I SEE-
Aaliyah: Even if you do belong to someone here, get out. You too, Groot.
Mason:...That's nice dear. Now I have to go get my daughters. I think I heard Aaliyah say something about a stick.
Shannon: But Cousin Mason, you have that lovely big house and I'm about to be homel-
Mason: Oh, I'm sure things will get better and all byeeee
Summer: For some reason none of my other ungrateful descendants will get near me, so I guess I'll have to hear about your pathetic life.
Groot:...'For some reason'? Really Ma?
Tamsin: Don't trust people. They disappoint you. I'll probably disappoint you one day. Oh, and always moisturise.
Sari:...Should I be taking notes?
Sari: But wait sister! Don't you love the sound of music? It's right there in your trait panel.
Tamsin: Oh don't get meta on me. Music is a way to pass by in this pointless existence but-
Sari: Feel the music my sister. Feel the music! I think it DOES matter!
Tamsin:...And just when I thought I was gonna have a follower.
Summer: NO, refrigeration unit. YOU'RE the chicken.
Caterer: I mean...I'm an ageing furry and I still don't want her. Then again...look at her. But then AGAIN...no.
Aaliyah: Middle-age just hit me...but I look pretty good, right kid? Right?
Andrew: Aw come on, the bus fare-?
Aaliyah: Never mind that sweetie. How am I looking?
Andrew: Oh my God you're my aunt. MUM!
Lux: Really? We all made an effort and you showed up in your sweaty gym clothes? Are you serious?
Mason's ass: Right?
Ebony: Come on, life with a kid is really difficult-
Lux: He's TEN! How hard can it be?
Mason's ass: Aight I'mma head out.
And head out he did. The party was apparently not good, but I had fun with it.
Mason('s ass): Well YOU didn't actually have to be in that tiny trailer with all those people. Like Aaliyah just keeps smacking people her hand gestures are so dramatic! And Groot! Why does he wear so much damn aftershave? Plus Ebony and her goddamn GYM STANK.
I did go finally makeover Shannon. She's a clone of her mother with lighter hair, and also a vampire.
Sari: Music! Music and lightness and fun!
Tamsin: Ugggghhh.
Sari: *singing* Reach for the stars.
Tamsin: God fucking dammit.
Mason: Away with you plants! You will not become me, take over my mind - get out of there, you and your VINES-
Tamsin: If dad goes crazy do I get the house?
MISSY
There wasn't even a baby this time. How did you not sleep last night?
Missy: The Chair...it called to meeeezzzz
-5!
Aaliyah! Go away!
Aaliyah: But all the space here...
I don't care, it's 11pm. Go home.
Sari: Hear that melody, small brother! Let it sink into your ears, hear the musiiiiic-
Kai: Please just let me sleep.
Aaliyah had her second baby.
Danika: Mmm, delicious!
Where did that come from? I know you didn't go to the kitchen.
Danika: Out of my ass. Leave me alone now.
Yay Sari!
Sari: I haven't slept properly yet! One nap is enough for me and the music!
...Sariiii.
...They don't have kids.
Missy: Hey! Sausages! You're just food, you can't judge me for eating you for breakfast!
But I can.
Danika: We've all gone for a sausage for breakfast. I know I have.
Missy: ...Do you really count, Dani? You're like a million years old.
Danika:...Thanks for the reminder. I'd still rather have you around than Zen.
Missy: Do you think that's a compliment? I met the woman too.
Yeeeeessss. That's two aspirations this chapter. Makes up for the passouts.
+15, and he's gonna move onto Angling Ace.
He's made so much money from the Galactic Garden that I might just sell off most of the plants. We don't need any more savings. Plus now he can do more fishing and get that Angelfish, hopefully.
Mason: This bitch empty, yeet!
Other fisherman: Lol what a loser.
Tamsin hit a Grade B. She might make an A if she does her homework a couple more times.
For the first time in generations, we got an aquarium! We put two of the fish Mason caught in there - a betta and a goldfish.
Mason: I think it's time to have another carnivorous cow-shaped plant hanging around...who put that thought in my head? I don't - do - think this is a gad idea! Goo-bad!
Tamsin: When I grow up, I'm gonna rig an explosive and-
Blarffy: Yeah yeah, we know. They've been telling us this for ten generations now.
Drago: Like seriously, just get it over with already. We're bored of this crap.
Awwww yeah, look at Tamsin go.
Tamsin: I will defeat them all.
And for once, Missy is not about to pass out when she gets home from work, and will hopefully make to her bed tonight. Truly, the family is blessed.
...So I'll end this before they ruin it.
Score Sheet- 140
Single Births (30) +150
Twin Births (4) +40
Aspiration Tiers (74) +370
Aspiration (12) +120
Grade A (7) +35
Randomising everything for 1 gen (6) +60 (I realised I was behind on this)
Not using spare's satisfaction points (7) +70 (Ditto)
Every 100,000 simoleons (10) +200
Immortalise TH (2) +10
Autonomous Skill Max (2) +20
Pass Out (124) -620
Self Wetting (38) -190
Fires (14) -140
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