Mason: Fly my child, fly!
Sahara: YEEEEEEE
What a wholesome image to start on. Mason's reign is really changing this legacy.
Mason: Hey look we're doing it, we're doing it.
Bless.
Anyway, welcome back, there are two toddlers and one soon-to-be-baby, I regret all my decisions and if I die this generation, it's probably gonna be this chapter.
Aaliyah: Ugh. This place. At least that witch is dead though.
Aaliyah you live with 27343428 other people in Johnny Zest's old trailer. You're not balling yourself.
Aaliyah: Say what you like but at least I don't have to put up with you all day. Unlike my dear brother.
...Touche.
Missy: I AM FUCKIN TIRED
So go to sleep. I swear to God I've had enough of you lot passing out. The toddlers are better than you.
She went right after I wrote that.
Aaliyah: It is really good to see you, Mason. It's been too long! That shirt is horrible, by the way.
Mason:...Thanks, sis.
Aaliyah: I mean, I'm just saying!
Aaliyah is that type of sister. I just know it.
Mason: 'Just say' a little less, huh Ali?
Aaliyah: Don't you sass me! I OWN you! I raised you!
Mason: If anything, Ebony raised me, we're like 3 days apart-
Aaliyah: Also, this house is actually really sweet and I would like to come back, yes please thank you!
Mason: Uhhh...well, maybe-
Nope.
Mason: Sorry, sis, nothing I can do.
Oh insanity.
Due to the crash, Lana didn't actually marry an old guy. She did marry this middle-aged one though. Also, Munch? I swear, they've bred like rabbits this save. Everybody's a damn Munch! Caleb is a Munch right now for heaven's sake!
MISSY!
Missy: Ow, why does pissing myself hurt my arm-?
No, no, no, we're not doing that again. That's because your arm is in a damn wall.
Pissing yourself in front of the toilet. For shame.
Missy: Yeah, I know. *slides*
Lol look at her little belly poking up out of there.
Missy: Yeah, little. More like a boulder that's ruining my body.
You're underwater, you can't talk.
Missy: I'm magic.
No, we don't have that pack, and I definitely wouldn't test it on you if we did.
Sahara: Hangry!
There's a sandwich Mason put on the high chair before you woke up. You can eat that.
Sahara: I hate this house.
Lol, already? I can tell you it's not gonna get too much better, buttercup.
Tamsin: Ooh, a dead person! Coooool.
Iris: You're a little sweetheart, aren't you?
Missy: Tam, don't talk to strangers.
Tamsin: But she's eating breakfast with you.
Missy: She's a ghost and I'm eight months pregnant, I simply can't be asked to get rid of her. Go swimming or something.
Tamsin: Now I know that is not a good idea.
I had Missy take her family leave. The garden needs a lot of care this morning, so hopefully she can help with the girls and then go to sleep when Mason's done with his plants.
She managed to get like this AGAIN. As you can see, she did head for the toilet, but it was pretty damn close.
If she pees herself one more time I'm gonna call her Pissy for the rest of the time she's with us.
Missy: Oh har har har.
No part of that was a joke.
Flower: Er...I know Mason's all about his plants but why is this even a picture?
Because I finally got an orchid! That's...one half of what's needed for a death flower. Hopefully a pomegranate comes along soon.
Danika, somewhere: Um, you also need to get Level 10 Gourmet Cooking and catch an angelfish, just saying...
Shhh let me be happy about this. It's only taken almost three weeks of Mason's reign as TH.
Meanwhile, Missy isn't doing terribly with the kids. And Mason is done with his garden now so he can help and she can go to bed. She's tired again.
Missy: Aw baby, your sleep pattern is so fucked up!
Tamsin: I know it's 10am and I'm just going to bed, please let me sleep already Mum.
Mason: So, kid, do you like dinosaurs?
Sahara: Kind of. I like their tiny arms. I bet they can't reach the high shelves.
Mason:...I mean, neither can you, Sari.
Sahara: Well you don't have to say it like that!
Mason: My children are weird.
They are Sutherlands, dear.
Mason: Wait a minute...
You see it too?
Mason: Who left that full plate of mac 'n' cheese to rot outside on the half-wall like that?
Touche. Let's get that into the NanoCan.
Mason: I want to love my family, and I do love them, but they make it damn hard sometimes.
Missy: Fuck, that was my favourite chair!
It's the rarest of breeds, a Sutherland boy!
Mason: There was me, and Uncles Felix and Groot...and Great-Great Granddad Quinton, and Great-Great Uncles Kale and Matt.
When did you learn so much about your family history? Anyway, if we just go back to Summer's generation and move downwards, you have your grandma and three great-aunts. Not to mention your mother and three aunts, plus your three sisters and two daughters.
What I'm saying is...this family produces a lot of girls.
Missy: Quit your pointless rambling and get back to me and my awesome baby. I mean, he looks like me, it's about damn time one of these little potatoes did.
Sorry, Missy. Anyway, as we can all see, we have a non-blue baby boy, who is named Kai. That's a +5 for me, fam.
And actually, I forgot to count Tamsin and Sahara there so let's just add all of that to get some points back.
Mason: Wait, shit, I'm a FATHER!
Mason your oldest is five tomorrow and you've actually not been terrible at taking care of her, where have you been?
Mason: Oh my God, how can someone such as me, with parents like mine, be a good father?
Oh you're fine. If you wanna be a good dad, go and feed your son, he's crying and your
Tamsin: Mama I think I'm a biohazard.
Maybe I should rethink my statement on Tamsin's standard of care.
Mason: Missy, I have something to ask you...(ow my foot, ow my FOOT)
Missy: Oh, Mason! But seriously, it's about time, we have three kids and have been together nearly fifteen years.
Mason: Well, time runs away, huh? But I've always wanted you to be my wife, always thought of you as my life partner. So let's make it official, huh?
Missy: Aww, that's so sweet, babe!
Tamsin: Damn can't a girl eat her sammich in peace?
Missy: Shush biohazard.
Tamsin: Whose fault is that?
Missy: Yes, yes!
Mason: Oh phew! I had like, no idea what I was gonna say, that was so nerve-wracking-
Missy: You don't need to tell me all of that, dear.
Tamsin: Ugggggh, get it over with, I want a bath.
So, finally, right? Honestly I forgot they weren't already married or at least engaged. So let's make it happen!
Mason: So, how about we cele-
Tamsin: YEET
Missy: I think that will have to wait.
Mason:...Yeah.
Tamsin: Great, I've got your attention now, huh assholes? Can I please have a bath?
Wow, a helpful ghost that I have fond memories of and actually like having around, it's a miracle.
Bentley: This won't do for my grandchildren!
I feel like Bentley would have made a decent grandfather.
Mason, in his sleep: PLEASE.
Things have finally stopped being so chaotic. Missy went to work tired so we'll probably lose points from that, but the kids are fed and bathed, Tamsin is asleep, and Sahara is happily wondering around upstairs while her father watches a bunch of TV cos he's had no fun recently!
Sahara: I am investigating the strange silver and black screen! With the yellow squares!
Computer.
Sahara: Can you eat that?
It's Tamsin's birthday! Unfortunately it's been so long since the last one that the cake we had spoiled.
Mason: Uh, yeah. That was MY birthday cake. From when I took over. No shit it's spoiled. Anyway, my little girl deserves the best! I'm so glad she's growing up! She can do things for herself, and be helpful!
But not with the babies, she'll only be a child.
Mason: Just let me have this.
Mason: Hurry up, hurry up!
Tamsin: Wow you really wanna get rid of me don't you?
Mason: Quit being so dramatic. I just don't want to clean up your literal shit anymore. Plus your brother's crying upstairs. Let's go.
Tamsin: *sigh* Some birthday.
Tamsin: REEEEE
Mason: In this house, we put clothes on when we 'reee' in the kitchen, OK?
Tamsin: This is bullshit. RULES are bullshit.
Mason: You're five, why are you acting like a bratty teenager?
Meanwhile upstairs...
Kai: *crying*
Sahara: SCREW this dollhouse, I'm BORED.
Mason: Maybe I am a bad father.
Nah, you just got left with two toddlers and a baby all morning.
Here is little miss way-too-angsty Tamsin, post-makeover. She's a Music Lover and a Whiz Kid, and she grew up the spit of Mason, down to the weird cheeks that she likely will grow into. Her nose is wider though, I think she might have got that from Missy.
Mason is finally getting things under control.
Kai: Don't worry this invisible food is filling me up good!
Mason: Hell yeah I'm good at this.
Tamsin: *already doing her homework like a boss*
Sahara: *crawling down the stairs like a spider*
Mason: OK, what do you need Sari?
Sahara: All I need is the power of the dance!
Mason:...Pls just let me help you.
Sahara: Dance 'til I drop, dance 'til I drop.
Who did this?
Sari: Not me at all.
Danika: Boohoohoooooo!
Surely you should be used to this, Dani.
Aaliyah: Who's that little nerd doing a million sums back there?
Tamsin: It's me. Your niece. Tamsin. I can definitely hear you.
Aaliyah: Ugh, whatever. It's all Greek to me.
Tamsin: That's concerning because I'm five. You should be able to add '4+5', Auntie Ali.
Aaliyah: Lil fucking nerd...
Sahara: Why wouldn't you let me dance 'til I dropped, Daddy? I was READY!
Mason: Because I don't want to scrape your tiny unconscious body off the floor. And someone could trip over you.
Sahara: Well then they need to learn the art of the DANCE! I'd never trip over anything.
Tamsin: Look, we all had to learn to walk right, child.
Mason: Tamsin, you will come onscreen to talk or you won't talk at all.
Tamsin: This is bullshit, y'all are such hypocrites.
Zenobia cares a lot more about Tamsin in the afterlife than she did when she was alive.
Aaliyah: So. You're a child in the Sutherland household. What does that mean? You're gonna learn today. From us!
Danika: It means a century of pain.
Tamsin: Uh...I'm a child for literally ten days, what is your dramatic ass on about?
Aaliyah: Danika is a family fixture! She's your great aunt!
Tamsin: Isn't she younger than me? I'm before her in the below-line.
Danika: It's because I died, Tam. And neither my mother nor my adopted sister wanted to bother helping me by making any ambrosia.
Aaliyah: OHHH, that's why Mason's got that whole thing with his plants.
Danika: You're an idiot.
Missy: I didn't pass out. Nope.
Sigh.
Aaliyah: Remember, give in to all your weird Sutherland thoughts, block cribs of younger siblings, ignore your homework and stand outside after getting home from school for at LEAST one hour. You'll have the best childhood ever.
Tamsin: Hmm...that does sound like sweet sweet chaos.
Danika: *haunting the NanoCan*
Tamsin: But seriously, I just wanted to eat this mediocre burger, why'd you all have to bother me...
Aaliyah: Oh, and one last thing. Your father's an idiot, never listen to him.
Mason: Do you want to be NOT let into my house, Ali?
Aaliyah: You love me too much, little brother.
Tamsin: God the longer she rambles the more I die inside.
Mason: I love you but quit undermining my parenting.
Tamsin: HA! Parenting where?!
Aaliyah: Weeeell if nobody wants to listen to me, consider me out! I don't need this place.
Tamsin: Yet you come over every damn day.
Mason: Do you hear everything in the house, kid?
Tamsin: Maybe.
Also Aaliyah, I MCCCed you into pregnancy, so have fun with that. Don't let the door hit ya on the way out.
Tamsin: Who smells like shit? You do! You do!...Seriously though, you stink, can you just not?
Kai: I wouldn't if I could 'not'!
Poor kid.
Tamsin: I might as well spend my entire childhood in the observatory. Nothing matters but the cosmos is pretty.
Missy: Dammit kid, I keep talking and talking and you won't quiet down. Come on, Mum needs her sleep.
Kai: *practically starving to death*
Missy apparently has pregnancy brain outside of pregnancy. Trust me, she's definitely not pregnant. But I swear she used to be a better baby-carer than this.
Yasmin, wife of Kale and mother of Dahlia from Gen 7, married this guy. Just looking at the icon I feel like he's about as much of a loser as Kale.
Mercy: My nephew married an idiot...what's this, friend request from a Shannon Bellamy? Who's that? No, decline.
...Your daughter, Mercy, that is your daughter, I-
Whatever. Big fat -5.
Sahara: This is unacceptable.
I'm sorry, kid.
Mercy: *stabs* Lemme give you a little...family welcome, new idiot.
Missy: Ahh...Sari don't look, Mum's getting stabbed.
Sahara: Me no care.
Tamsin: Sahara, how does it feel to be under the care of these losers, forced to suffer while I take care of myself like a boss?
Mason: Shush Tamsin, I'm trying my best. And we all know you were awake half the night.
Sahara: Ha!
Tamsin: Don't get smug with me, you're covered in mud.
Sahara: I biohazard!
Sahara: Heheh, I live in the dirt now.
Not for long you don't. Mason!
Mason, through bite of scrambled eggs: Oh come on, I just got breakfast!
Oh and she used her nappy. -5.
Mason: Uh, Missy? Kai's crying upstairs and you're kind of the only person who can help so...
Missy: Nah, I'd rather watch. Just to make sure you don't accidentally drown Sari.
Mason: I'm the least likely person in the room to do this!
Sahara: What's a drown? It sounds fun!
Missy:...Yeah, I'm gonna keep watch.
Missy: I'm a bird motherfucker!
Sahara: Fly away and away forever, Mummy!
Missy:...That's unsettling.
Tamsin: Ugh, why does this baby smell so bad? Bet I can figure out how to fix it.
Kai: Daaaaaad!
Tamsin: Nah, you don't need that idiot. I'll work it out.
Spoiler, you won't. Now get away and let Mason help the poor thing.
Missy: God, Mason's a bad cook. This sandwich tastes ROTTEN.
Because it IS. Stop eating it and go to sleep, its 1pm and you are still extremely tired.
Aaliyah: That asshole didn't even say hi...
We'll let you in once he's done if you don't leave. Besides you come here like every day.
Aaliyah: How else do you escape your very loud and cranky toddler? And those roommates you share one small trailer with...
Tamsin: Why are people just LEAVING their glasses like that? This place needs a cleanup!
Aw, a girl after my own heart.
Tamsin: I knew you loved me. Too bad love is meaningless.
Missy: Sari, I think I'm gonna puke.
Sahara: At least put me down first.
Missy I am REALLY starting to regret you. Stop trying to nap in the chair where there's music playing, and use your bed. Or Zen's bed. Or one of the kid beds. Or one of the sofas outside. Literally anywhere but the damn living room.
-5.
Missy: Well I never get any sleep in my bedroom because it's always full of BABY SCREAMING.
*sigh* Fucks sake Kai, we just got her in there.
GO BACK TO BED.
Sari: Yes I desire more food. Fetch it for me.
Tamsin: -no, fuck you! You're just big fat piles of stuffing you lot!
Uni: At least it ain't you today, Blarffy.
Dino: Well I never!
Uni: You deserve this one.
Drago: Yeah, screw you dude.
Blarffy: Is that...peace? Is that what I feel? Peace?
Tamsin: You shut up! I don't like peas!
Blarffy: Awww dammit!
Tamsin: Mum I'm pretty sure you haven't slept for a full day.
Missy: Don't worry dear I can subside on little power naps.
Tamsin: I don't believe you.
Missy: Just watch me, kid.
Tamsin: I'm watching.
GOD FUCKING DAMMIT MISSY I'M SO SICK OF YOU RIGHT NOW. The kids are actually being good you have no excuse.
Kai: Oh shit, this stage of life's gonna be even worse isn't it.
Mason: Hey, Missy, look! This one's self-aware!
Missy: That's nice dear, I'm going to bed.
Mason: No objections to that one, darling.
Missy: On second thoughts I need to pee.
Mason: On one hand...that's annoying...but that ass tho.
Kai: Didn't need to hear that, Dad.
Here's little Kai. He looks a lot like his mother for now, with that little cap of blond hair. He's so cute! And he got the independent trait, so maybe he'll be easier to handle than the girls.
Tamsin: Lol in your dreams.
(Honestly if he's not a massive pain than he's 100% my favourite already. I like the girls plenty, but we've seen the blue skin-dark hair combo a LOT in this family).
OK, next chapter we-
For fuck's sake.
Sahara: My parents are idiots.
Well next chapter you get to grow up and not rely on them anymore, how's that.
Sahara: Oh GOODIE.
Mason: I can sense your passive-aggression.
Sahara: I know.
Score Sheet- 110
Single Births (30) +150
Twin Births (4) +40
Aspiration Tiers (70) +350
Aspiration (10) +100
Grade A (7) +35
Randomising everything for 1 gen (5) +50
Not using spare's satisfaction points (6) +60
Every 100,000 simoleons (10) +200
Immortalise TH (2) +10
Autonomous Skill Max (2) +20
Pass Out (121) -605
Self Wetting (38) -190
Fires (14) -140
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