9.1 - Surprise Sex and Sutherland Stories



I was in the graveyard...and what the hell happened to all my ghosts? Bronson, Ida, Q, Glass, Brad...all gone. They aren't culled; they show up in the family tree but the ghosts are just GONE. GAH. No wonder they hadn't been showing up for the past couple chapters...

What a great way to start my new generation. Heir's aunt is dead and he's sad, all the ghosts of generations past are freaking gone...I didn't want them to piss off :(

*goes to Manage Worlds to add Mason's spouse to the world*

*takes a few-day-long break*

*remembers to give him a quick YA makeover*



Mason: Oh, Aunty Mercy, you may have exploited our computers, most likely getting us into legal trouble, or at least put on lists, and threatened to stab everyone but you were lovely on the inside...maybe. We will miss you.

Hurry up and mourn, you punk, you gotta spouse to meet.



Mason: *sniff sniff* It's just so hard...I miss Mercy so much.

Operator: Oh GOD you knew that devil-woman! She stole all our donations! And...are you peeing?



Bentley is doing a little better.

Bentley: Heeeeyyyyy-y-eyyyyyyy-y-eyyyy, don't stop the parTAY-



Mason: Sorry I have to plant and proceed to look after how many plants?



Mason: HURUAGABRUORAUBRUO

Apologies.

Also it's been like four freaking hours and he's not done so I'm just gonna hold off on the spouse meeting until he's done moping about Mercy.

Mason: She was my beloved Aunt-

YOU BARELY KNEW HER.



Ebony: OH GOD. Why is my life this way? Why?

You got yourself into this, you mess. Just deal.



Zenobia: What do I do after coming home from work? Watcher! Help me! What do I do after I get home?

Get in the house.

Zenobia: OK, OK, help me do that!

CAN'T.



Zenobia chose to do this instead.

Zenobia: Sacrificial pit, no? I think it's what Mercy would have wanted.

She probably would have liked that. YOU, however, have an orange portrait, so I'm guessing you need to get in the HOUSE!



Mason: *sobs* Accept this water, my dragonfruit, accept this. Oh God, my fingers ache so much-



Zenobia: I have a plate! I should call Mercy!

Mason: And of course, the second I take over her mind starts going for good. Just great. Great.

Enough with the pity party.

Zenobia: And look, we have that lovely new vase!



Danika: Ugghhhhh...*virtual football smacks her in the head*

What's up? Is it Mercy?

Danika: Fuck no, I hated that bitch. I'm just very, very lonely.

It might help if you came out of the basement.

Danika: To talk to WHO?

....Good point.



Mason: Oh God who put glass in this parfait?

Well your mother made-

Mason: I'm doing the cooking from now on!

You don't have a choice.

Mason: I don't care! I'm doing it!



Really Felix? You take this long to have a kid in this save? Look at your wrinkled self! Now is not the time!

MCCC says you have 12 days left to live! What the actual F*CK are you doing.

Felix: F*ck.

Tara: Oh, I'll just do it with him once as a dying gift, I thought. Then I can move on with my life, I thought! But no. GodDAMMIT.



Mason: *sniff sniff* One is the loneliest number...seriously the only good part about this TH shit is that I'm guaranteed to get someone. ...Please do that for me.

OK, OK, just stop being 'Very Sad' and we'll go get you hooked up with [redacted]. I've been planning this for a while, don't worry. It should go well.

Mason: Didn't you say that about Blaze?

Shush or you're single forever with one lovechild by someone who hates you.



Bentley: Making my way downtown...well, to the balcony. I need to get my drink on!

It's 6...

Bentley: Your point?

AM!



You're a fucking disaster.

Bentley: Living my best damn life!

Really now.



Mason: I will cradle you, parfait! I will be your protector! Daaarrrrr!

None of that please. Eat your food, watch some TV, and then we're going out.

Mason: All I care for is parfait!

I swear you were whining about wanting a spouse like two seconds ago...but sure, whatever.



Missy: The grasses have trapped me!

Mason: I see...nothing here. Thanks a bunch, Watcher. Pranking me just because I was sad about Aunt Mercy? Real low-

Turn around you stupid fucker.

Missy: Teehee...grass tickles.



Missy: Oh...dear...that's gonna sting.

Mason: Eyyyyy....are you alright, Miss-

Missy: How do you know my name?



Mason: Ohhhh man. Keep calm, keep calm.

Missy: Hwewehioewh WHAT. Who are you?



Mason: Hi...I'm so sorry. I didn't even want to do this.

Liar!

Missy: What the fuck does that even mean? Get off my property!



Missy: Wait. I was just grouchy. It's always nice to meet neighbours. Especially ones with houses. Do you have a house? With a toilet and a shower and a stove and that?

Mason: I don't live on this island but I have that...and a lot more.

Missy: How much more are we talking? Wait, no, never mind. Hi, not-neighbour!



Mason: Well, er, hey, I'm Mason, I was just passing through...

Missy: This is a goddamn island. You were trying to meet someone.

Mason: Ehm...dammit, help me out.

Missy: Who?

Yeah. Me.

Mason: Help!

Not happening, buddy.

Missy: What is he yelling about?



Missy: Doesn't matter. I kind of like how weird he is. It's funny.

Mason: Not the reaction I wanted.

Missy: It's the one you're getting.



Mason: What if we...uh...damn...cloudgaze?

Missy: OK...Mason, was it?

Mason: That's me.

Missy: And you know my - OK, what's this cloudgazing shit?

Mason: Just lie on the floor, and look at the sky...



Missy: Definitely a whale.

Mason: It's a boot!

Missy: Whale!

Mason: You calling me fat?

Missy: Har har...



Missy: Y'know, I didn't expect some random blue guy to arrive on my empty lot at ten in the morning and start chatting me up but I'm kind of glad he did. This is fun.

Mason: That one is definitely a barbecue!



Mason: -No, seriously, my dad is craaazy. Real absentee, too.

Missy: Uh-huh, I relate like hell!

No you don't. I made you, SON. Literally. You came from the blue CAS world. You have no father.

Missy: Who said that? It didn't even make any sense!

Mason: Weird disembodied voice that makes no sense! Oh, you hear it too! That means...

Missy: What does it mean, Mason?

Mason: It means that there are plans for you...

Missy: O....Kay?



Mason:...My auntie is a ghost child!

Missy: Now this I gotta hear about. Your stories are so funny, Mason.



Missy: Just looking up some pictures of squid.

Mason: Hell yeah, this is going WELL!

Eh...get some chemistry going, please. We don't have all day.

Mason: But I like her! She's fun! I wanna get to know her properly!

Awww.



Mason: So, how were the squid pictures...were they as...fuck, that's not gonna work. Screw it, this is a flirty wave.

Missy: Interesting technique there, Mason.



Missy: But even if you can't flirt for shit, you're still cool. I'll indulge you with a hug.

Mason: Aw yiiisss.



Missy: But hey, I have a really great idea.

Mason: What's that?

Missy: We should definitely have sex right now!

Um.

Missy: Stop judging me, voice!

Mason: And...she's becoming a Sutherland. Irrational decisions, hearing you...

Way to spell it out, Mase. C'mon, go have sex with her.



This was game-realistic. It freaking happened, all autonomously at that. At least the intended spouse was trying and succeeding at banging the RIGHT PERSON *cough cough Blaze*

Missy: Who's Blaze?

Mason: Ohhhh, I'm definitely telling you that story.



Mason: So...how was...

Missy: Pretty good. I'll keep you around, blue boy.

Mason: You can just call me Mason.

Missy: But why, when the alliterative fun of 'blue boy' is right there?



Mason: OK, say cheese - sorry about that text, that's my dumbass uncle inviting me to his birthday party.

Missy: OMG he's blue too!

Mason: A lot of us are. This one though...my grandmother conceived him in a spaceship.

Missy: Oh, you and your stories!



Mason: The thing is...if you want me to be kept around you may have to see my family. They're all weird. All of the stories are true.

Missy: I do love your commitment to these bits.

Mason: I'm seriously not making any of it up.

Missy: Yeah, yeah. Just tell me about Blaze.



Missy: -wait, he did it with your grandmother? But that would make - damn, your family tree must be a mess.

Mason: Told you. My family history is pretty juicy.



Missy: I can believe that one, sad as it is. Your poor mother.

Mason: Oh. She's fine. More than fine. You'll m- might meet her.

Missy: You sound very certain about what you're saying. We could always keep this casual.

Nope.

Missy: Could that voice shut up? I make my own decisions.

Not anymore.

Mason: I know, right? About the voice shutting up, not about your decisions.



Mason: -But, uh, I like you, and we could...do something that isn't like...super casual...hehe..

Missy: Yeah, I can also see things going in that direction.



Mason: Whatever milady decides.

Missy: You are funny. I like that.



Missy:...It seems like just yesterday that you were the weird blue guy who randomly showed up on my empty lot.

That was this morning.

Also it appears that Mason lost the lower half of his arm.



Missy: You said we were gonna see something cool. This is not cool. It's hedges, blue boy.

Mason: Well, technically yes, but it's also the outside of my house! Wanna take the tour?

Missy: Nah. Find me a couch. I've been on my feet for two days...empty lot problems, am I right?



Before we proceed, let's just check on the NTHs.

Zenobia: Finding my zeeennnn...heh. Heheheh.



Danika: LIFE IS MEANINGLESS

Bentley: *at work*

OK, let's go back to Mason and Missy.



One more thing: Ebony had her son! Zen's first grandchild.

Ebony: Real nice and all but my mother is not allowed to come over.



Missy: Now this....is a house. I bet he'll let me stay.

I'd bet on that too. He seems to like you.

Missy: Well...I guess I like him too!



Zen: You there...plant. Screw you.

Come on Zen.

Zen: You can be my grandchild!



Bentley...

-5, thanks.



Mason: Missy...

Missy: Yeah?

Mason: I just wanted to say that you can stay here...no matter what we are.

Missy: Thank God. My empty lot sucks.



Missy: But I never said things have to be casual...

Mason: That actually makes me really happy to hear.



Missy: I like you happy.

Mason: Thanks.

Missy: Let's do this.



<3

I wasn't sure how their relationship was going to be. But I like them together so far.

Just stay away from Bentley, Missy.



Missy: I'M HUNGRY, YOU BETTER HAVE SOME FOOD IN THE FRIDGE

Mason: WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING, I'M RIGHT HERE!

Missy: YOU'RE SCREAMING TOO!

Smh.

Anyway, Missy Doyle is now officially Mason's live-in girlfriend. She is a Romantic, Lazy Music Lover with the Mansion Baron aspiration. She's cute and so far I'm having a lot of fun with her.



Yay, Missy is sleeping in the correct bed!

Missy: This house is sweet. *smile*



Zenobia: I feel like a teenager!

Well, that was probably the last time you would have been allowed to do this.



:( RIP Caiphus and Eddie. You two were pretty amusing.



Lana married this old guy. Brilliant choice of second husband, dear. Also the death notif for your first husband came in about five minutes before this one did.

Lana: I wasn't having an affair!

Next time...time passes. I might make Mason and Missy (there's no ship name to be had there) have a kid, because there are 3 free house spaces. Or maybe I'll wait. IDEK.

Score Sheet- 60
Single Births (27) +135
Twin Births (4) +40
Aspiration Tiers (67) +335
Aspiration (10) +100
Grade A (7) +35
Randomising everything for 1 gen (5) +50
Not using spare's satisfaction points (6) +60 
Every 100,000 simoleons (6) +120
Immortalise TH (2) +10 (I realised I didn't count Summer's biography that she wrote at Writing Level 10)
Autonomous Skill Max (2) +20

Pass Out (111) -555
Self Wetting (30) -150
Fires (14) -140




Comments