8.12 - Weddings, Birthdays, and The Usual Dysfunction



Zenobia: Oh look, a pouting child of mine. I've seen that way too often...

Mason: D: You ever wonder why you see that?

(Also yes, she has new sleepwear)


Super-parent Eb steps in with this one too.

Ebony: OK, little bro. Mum sucks, it's true, but I'll always be on hand.

Mason: Wow. Thanks...wait, aren't you supposed to be the mean one?

Ebony: SHH. I gotta rep!

What rep? Everybody knows it, Eb. You aren't mean!


Ebony: I'll take you anywhere you want to go, AND I know karate! I'm your noble steed!

Mason: Let's go to where we may find the meaning of life!

Ebony: OK we'll go to, um, Rainbow-Land then.

Mason: But-


Danika: Wow, the social event of my dreams.

Groot: I know, right.

Lux: Shut up, Groot.

Ebony: Duhhhh...

Zenobia: Shoulda eloped.

Mason: *snicker* Nice dress, Lux.

Lux: I'm not afraid to hurt a 2-year-old, small brother.


Here's Megan.

Megan: That cruel tease of a woman! Getting married after our one flirt!

Megan, that was ew. For a few reasons. Also, get over yourself.


Lana: Where's the inside of this building? *whines*

Mason: What the hell is that?

Ebony: Glitch, don't worry about it.

Zenobia: A hug, how nice.

Lux: You are getting married, Mum...I'll let down my guard by 1%.


Mariska: Jesus Christ sis, you're burning up again?

Lana: You don't own me.

Zenobia: -can't you all look after yourselves?

Danika: Probably not. Ebony fucked off and Lux is trying to eat Mason with her dress. You should look after us, sis.

Zenobia: If I wanted input from dead people I would have called a medium.

Mariska: Seriously why the fuck am I here.


Lana: Perhaps I should rethink this dress.

Mercy:...FUCK! KATANA HELP ME.

Summer: Y'all wish you could be this.

Mercy: FIRE FIRE FIRE-

Summer: Heh.

Lana: She does look dumb though, right Mum?

Summer: Hey pot, you're still black.


Hey Blaze.

Blaze: Why am I here?

Because I invited almost everyone in Zen's panel, and you are her stepdad...as fucked up as that situation is.

Blaze: Oh well then...Summer's...*ahem* great! Let's see what Zen found, huh? Like she could do better.

I found 'better' in Page 1 of the Gallery.


Bentley: This poor baby! Thank God I saved you from that monstrosity of a dress, I mean, really Lux-

Lux: I didn't pick this you flaming idiot.

Bentley: Flaming - those are the vampires, Lux. Speaking of them, I must protect the strange baby from them too-

Mason:...Dad pls.



Caleb: Just what I wanted to see...Summer and Zen being/getting married.

Felix: Damn dude, I guess wait forty years? Again.

Caleb: Why am I here? They're both unavailable!

Summer: Well...you're like, fourth on my list of potential third husbands.


Lux:...EW, why is it always me walking in on this shit?


Blake: Hey there, blue babe. Your skin matches my hair-

Summer: Ugh. Not really.

Caleb: Hey, she's gonna be mine! ...In forty years.

Blake: You'd wait that long? Pathetic.

Summer: You'll be dead. He can wait forever.

Blake: ...

Summer: Also he will wait forever.

Caleb: Joy.



Groot: Ow! Who just scratched me?

Ebony: So that's Mariska...

Groot:...I think she drew blood.

Mariska: That chair was mine!

Ebony: Wow Groot. Taking the chair of a pregnant woman. You should be ashamed.

Groot: But there are so many others-

Ebony: Disgraceful.

Mariska: MY CHAIR.

Ebony: So rude, Groot.


Danika: Is it OK if I just stand here for the whole wedding?


The two vampires chat inside.

Lana: Surprised you're so ballsy without your katana.

Mercy: Katana or not, I'll kick everyone's ass. You can't see it in Live Mode but I'm kinda ripped.


Felix: Nice guy you picked, Zen. Mum's right there, watch out!

Zenobia: Hah, real funny! Piss off and die alone, Felix! Not that I'd have to do anything to make that happen!


Caleb: *hiss* *growl* Get away from Summer!

Summer: *eyeroll*

Blake: You don't scare me, weirdo stalker vampire dude. Now, where were we...Summer was it?

Summer: We weren't anywhere. And I didn't expect him to scare you. ...But she might.

Brittani: BLAKE! How dare you! If you're going to crash a wedding bring your wife, for heaven's sake!

Blake: Eep!


Felix: No date, dear sister?

Mariska: Hey jerkwad, YOU KNOW THIS. Quit taunting me and die in a hole.

Megan: You can go screw yourself, for being the daughter of THAT WOMAN-

Blaze: Really Eb? That move? You made that move? You are no daughter of mine.

Ebony: Ha, I wish.


Ebony: At least my eyes work, Dad.

Blaze: Shut up!

Ebony: Also this wedding is a trainwreck.



Mason: I wanted blocks, not a coven of old women and vampires!

Mercy: He will be a disciple of the katana...

Megan: Hmmph. Reminds me of when my sons were little...all this frivolity!

Lana: To have more children...oh, if only Eddie hadn't found and tossed out those bitten condoms...all that work for nothing!

Brittani: *cough* Totally belong here, y'all. Was completely and utterly invited.

Zenobia: Uh, guys? This is kind of my day.

Bentley: We don't need them, honey. We just need each other and our eternal promise-

Zenobia: Yeah, yeah, yeah. HEY ASSHOLES, GET OVER HERE-


Danika: Curse these game mechanics. I didn't want to see her happy.

Bentley: Zen, I am so lucky to have found you-

Zenobia: Thanks Bent, and SUCK IT DANIKA.


Why are you all dancing?

Lana: Oh no, not Mum's creepy friend.

Caleb: This is a dance of anger!

Lana: I was at Aahana's party. Not an inch closer.

Summer: Yeah, you're never gonna get it, but you'll also never get anyone else, least of all my daughter, Caleb. Now come over here and dance with me.

Mariska: I think the baby likes - no. No it doesn't. Stop kicking you little dickhead!


Megan: OW- who brings a switchblade to a wedding? Where did you even keep that thing?

Mercy: Heh.

Blaze: Ugh. Like anyone could love that she-demon for real. I bet he makes off with the Sutherland cash within a month!


Mimsy: Let's dance for yet another marriage here. I'm not bored of this shtick at ALL.

Lux: I can't even look at this.

Ebony: Thank God I'm away from all those randomers...


Bentley: Yay! No more distractions! Let me say it now, Zen - I love you!

Zenobia: How nice, dear. I suppose I love you too.

Bentley: Suppose?

Zenobia:...Ignore any weird wording, let us marry!

Bentley: Yaaaay!


Brittani: BLAZE!

Blaze: Screw you too!

Megan: Do I want to know?

Mercy: It's just fun to let that idiocy wash over you...such peasants.


It's official!

Zenobia: Where did all of that confetti come from?

Bentley: Who cares? We're married now. I love you Zen!

Zenobia: Same, same...but I wanna know. I never planned for confetti!


Zenobia: See Mum, you could never take happiness away from me!

Summer: Whatever-

Bentley: Also, you look like a raccoon, Mrs S.

Zenobia: Aw, you insulted my mother! I love you.

Mariska: Ha! Good one. I like this dude!

Zenobia: I'm not sure if I ever clarified, but sisters are also off-limits. Especially stupid weirdo ones like Mariska.

Bentley: That's quite obvious, you know...

Zenobia: YOU CAN NEVER BE TOO CAREFUL-!


Groot: Fine, I guess I'll get to this dumb ceremony then...!

Ebony: Dude. That finished like, twenty minutes ago. Now, back to the cat-

Mason: I think you're just making this up as you go.

Ebony: As if.

There is always one.


Summer: My daughter is a loser.

Lana: OW - well, that's half my brain gone.

Summer: She says, like she has a brain.

Lana: Shut up, Mum.

With that, wedding over!


Bentley: Let us sparkle, my one true child!

Aaliyah: For the last time you have a son-

Bentley: Sparkle!

Let's just go home.



Ebony: -and a bottle for you too, Ali, now I'm off to grill some food.

Aaliyah: Yeeees, sustenance.



Lux: Is this thing ever actually functional?

Danika: Still...*sniffle* gets me...*sob* every time!

Lux: Yeah, well, get over it, dead child, it's been 60 years.



Zen: I guess one of my idiot children HAD to ruin today...

Ebony: Eh...hehe...'twas an accident?

Zen: Not good enough.



Groot: Saving the flipping day!

Zenobia: Oh God it's hideous!

Groot: Yeah, pretty scary, but-

Zenobia: Not the fire, you idiot!

Groot: Then wh - hey! Zen! I'm helping you here!



Mercy: So what'd I miss?

Zenobia: Just a fire, Mercy. I see you found your katana again.

Mercy: Yeah. I had hell of a time getting it back out of the Von Haunt estate's coat check.

Zenobia: Cool story, I'mma take care of my starving child. He's been crying for about an hour.

Mercy: You are really not a good mother.



Mason: I've been abandoned with my cereal.

Who even put you in there?

Mason: Dad. Though he still thinks I'm 'random baby'...I don't understand, I look like them-

It's Sutherlands, man. They just don't have any basic logic whatsoever most of the time.



Aaliyah: Must get to...*faint*

Zenobia: Well that doesn't look good.

Lux: Heh.

Zenobia: What's so funny?

Lux: I always love it when you look like as much of an asshole as you are, Mum.



Mercy: Aha! Repayments for days! God I love the dark web!

Mason: *cries* Help me, katana aunt!

Mercy: Not now! You already know the way of the blade. And I've got extortion to do.

Mason: *cries harder* Please!

Mercy: Oh keep crying! I'm evil! I love some of dat misery!



Groot: I put out a fire that one time, therefore I'll never start one. Logic.

Grilled Cheese: That's the dumbest shit I've ever heard and I'm a piece of bread from this very kitchen.



I swear to God...

This has been the most frustrating evening ever. Both Zen and Eb were trying to take care of the toddlers, but Zen decided to interrupt Eb, who was taking care of Mason, even though I TOLD her to deal with Aaliyah...at least Mason's asleep in a proper bed.

Zenobia: Remind my descendants to never - actually, just...make sure my children have kids this close in age. They need some good ol' suffering, ya feel me?

Absolutely not. Never again. This only happened because you were ageing.

Zenobia: Oh please, I am a young-

You're like 43. Not THAT young.



Bentley: Ebony.

Ebony: Bentley.

Both: You're actually alright.

Ebony: I don't know why I hated you so much.

Bentley: Eh. I guess that's normal, considering I'm, well... I promise I love your mum and-

Ebony: You really do love my mum? Ew. Gross. Stop doing that. How is that shit even possible?



Eddie Polanco (Lana's husband): Um...really?

Lana: She really is that Lazy.

Mariska: It's a...cool name I guess?

Luz: Mum seriously.



Just then her son gets someone pregnant. OK, Crisp Child, OK.

Tyrell: Hey guys...this is...Lianne, was it? Anyway, she's pregnant-

Lana: *rubs forehead* Fuuuck.



So many things are wrong about this.

Well, two. Two things.

Danika: This is not my usual sauna experience!

NO SHIT.



Various events (i.e. Danika haunting random crap and fires) have transpired to make little Luxy very tense.

Lux: At least it's Monday and I can get out of this house and wail on some fools at school. They won't know what's hit them!



Ebony: What would you like, Chill Child? Trick question, anything works, right?

Aaliyah: I'm questioning the ways of the chill...last night was kinda trau-

Ebony: Hey, hey. I specialise in physical care, not emotional. Take that shit to - no-one actually. I guess your dipshit Dad would listen even if he wouldn't be able to help.



Ebony: Real classy, Mum.

Zenobia: Who are you, your grandma? We're all family. Who cares?

Ebony: Whatever. You can swan around in your obnoxious underwear while I care for your sleepy, filthy and bored child.

Zenobia: You do that then, I gotta eat.

Ebony: You say that but...*innocent whistle*

Zenobia: OK y'know what, I have had four of you ungrateful kids-



Poor Eb.

Ebony: *sigh* I hope I never become eligible, this is hell.

Mason: Thanks sis.

Ebony: Y'know what, you're a little shit-



*sigh* This save is so glitchy. Why the hell is Bentley whimming for YA Zen?



Bentley: Sure I'll bathe you...child...oh but I gotta go to work. Bye.

Mason: I guess I'll never be clean again.

Bentley: No need to be so dramatic!

Mason: Wouldn't you be dramatic?



Ebony: I sooo deserve this.

Yes, but I wish you'd wait until Zen got home. The kids are in a horrible mood.

Also you're about to pass out.



Oh right, Groot exists. I forgot, considering he DOESN'T DO SHIT FOR THEM.

Aaliyah: You, really? I'll just stay like this.

Groot: Have it your way-

Aaliyah: Noooo please please, I'm joking. I'm joking! Clean me!



Lol why is Ali so peeved?

Aaliyah: Just my luck to be bathed by the only person worse than her.

Zenobia: Shut up, don't you dare mention Groot and I in the same sentence.

Mason: At least we got bathed sis, let's count our blessings.



Lux: Mum, get out! Stop bathing Mason and GET OUT!

Mason: Sis ru serious.

Zenobia: Mechanics are mechanics, little Mason, I must do as the asshole child says.

Mason: At least I'm not covered in mud anymore!

Lux: Exactly. All is good. Now GTFO, I need to pee!



Ebony: Whoo-hoo!

OK, so you take a nap that just about removes your exhausted status and you go back here instead of...I dunno, sleeping more? Really playing with fire, aren't we Eb?



Danika: Living my best life...without all of those assholes!

This morning your social bar was in the orange.

Danika: Would you interact with them?

I already do, my dear. A lot.



Groot: Time to tempt fate again!

At least he's making a group meal.



He didn't start a fire despite being uncomfortable (I will give him props for that) but he did...this.

Look at that filthy oven.

Groot: *cough* Wasn't me, sis.

Zenobia: *glare* So who else was it? Did the gremlins do it? I mean, I told them not to, so it must have been you!

Groot: Nice insanity defence...and it totally wasn't me.

Zenobia:...I'm so glad you're moving out.



Blaze only ever calls Eb now.

Ebony: I don't know why. I hate him as much as Lux does.

Blaze: It isn't a competition.

Ebony: It should be. *hangs up* *yells* Hey Lux, I hate our Dad more than you do!

Lux: As if!



Ali: Uh...I feel like I'm gonna be dropped and I'd love to keep to my shtick but...that isn't chill.

Zenobia: Sorry. Must hold the pasta.

Ali: Right...



FINALLY.

Aaliyah is a Gloomy social butterfly, she is pretty adorable, and she looks a lot like Bentley, I think. And there is the requisite pink outfit!



Luz married her second cousin, the child of Daya's adopted kid. And Nadia...just no.



And Tyrell elected to NOT stay with his baby mama and marry this green-haired guy.



Ida: My poor son! How can he be dead? 'Tis a tragedy!

Quinton:...Mum. This isn't a surprise to you. It's been fifty years.

Ida: Well shit, how long have I been dead then? How old AM I? *cries harder*



Quinton: Wow. It has been a while! Tell me about it all!

Uh...well...Zen had her fourth kid, she's married now...

Quinton: And Summer's married to that asshole?

Yup.

Quinton: Good, she deserves that!

I do enjoy our little talks.



Quinton: HELL YES!

I guess Q misses this thing.

Quinton: You bet I do! I'm actually raging now about how little I get to use it.



Groot, why are you making Mac 'n' Cheese at 2.30am?

Groot: *heavy sigh* Because I don't have a good grip on living a functional life.



Quinton: Dear God how many children does Summer have now?

I'm pretty sure you've met him. And she birthed six, has seven in total.

Quinton: *wince*



Lux: I did NOT know a ghost could smell so bad.

Danika: *gag* It's worse for me!

Lux: Yeah, how is that?

Danika: The smell is spreading through my incorporeal form and...oh God, it's ALL IN MY NOSE.



Lux:...WHY haven't you showered?

Danika: Showers are pain for a ghost, Lux, and it's been almost seventy years...

Lux: Wait - no they're not! You're just lazy!



Zenobia: Get out or I make your life hell.

Ebony: But...MUM! I was here first!

Zenobia: Is this the face of a woman who gives a crap?

Ebony: I can't see your face.

Zenobia:...Whatever. Just get out.



LOL @glitchy CC furniture.

Mason: HALP! *muffled screaming*



Oh, look, the computer just upped and fucking disappeared AGAIN.

I'm trying a new colour to see if that will help.


Bentley: Alright, strange baby, what's it gonna be?

Mason: I'M YOUR SON...and bathing, please. I need a bath.

Ebony: He does need a bath.

Bentley: No shit, Eb.

Ebony: *sigh* If it's so obvious why'd you ask?



Later...

Bentley: Come on! Go play blocks! It'll be fun!

Soooo....did you bathe him?

Bentley: No! I decided it was too weird to bathe a random baby that's just...in my house. I'll try and reach his parents.

Mason: *double-mega-über-sigh*



Bentley NO, you are not going 2/3 on skipping days of work.

Bentley: But who will care for this child?

Mason: It was supposed to be you.



For a Gloomy Sim who is tense and hungry, Ali, you are oddly wooden.

Ali: Mmm...I should haz food?

...Yes?



Ali: I just need a vase and some mac 'n' cheese!

At least it's actually lunchtime. *cough* GROOT.

Ali:...I'm so alone.

There, there. People will be home very soon.

Ali: Haha wait them? Never mind-



Mariska: Wow. Yet they all say that I'm the mess of the family.

Ebony:...My life is hard OK?

Mariska: Oh, I don't doubt it. I grew up in this house too, y'know. But take a shower, sweetie.



Groot: Time to leave!

Pretty sure you're not the only one who's happy about that.

Groot: Oh, I know that. But I don't care! Cuz I'm leaving!



Lux: Hey, sis!

Aaliyah: Ooh, a playmate-

Lux: Shut up, I have one thing to tell ya-

Come inside, Lux, you're growing up.

Lux: Never mind, you can keep the pigtails!

Aaliyah:...Huh?



I used Lux's child action to add some candles...



...while Groot was sent to the well. It didn't do anything good for him.



Danika got a new look because it's been a while, and Lux got a teen look!

Lux now has the Active trait, and the Computer Whiz aspiration. She continues to be a face clone of Blaze, but she's very pretty nonetheless.

Lux: Exactly who I wanted to emulate -__-



Mason: D: I can SEE my stink!

Lux: Ha ha! I'm not gonna help you! Who do you think I am, Little Eb?



Ebony: *sigh* Don't worry, Mason. I'm handling it...'cos your mother and sister won't.

Zenobia: That's right. I won't. I've had a hard day.



Lux: *smirk* That's right, Mum. Active AND as tall as you now. I could beat your ass any time.

Zenobia: Now now, Luxy, we aren't animals. This family has been all about the words, actually.

Lux: Fine, then you-

Zenobia: Nope!



Ebony: Ugh...my knees are so wet.

Mason: Whee! Bath!

Ebony: You better be worth it, kid.



Aaliyah: I am not Jesus...and I don't actually have the same initials...I kinda dropped the dishes, sorry Mum.

i.e. fairly obscure Britpop reference.



Ebony: Are you fucking kidding? I hate you!

Summer: We don't have to mention your Dad-

Ebony: GoodBYE!

Summer: Sheesh. What'd I do?

What do you think, Summer?



Lux: OK I said I wasn't gonna help you...but you've been staring at this puddle for an hour and I'm worried! What the heck do you want?



Danika: I knew that bitch had a nice side!

That angers you because...?

Danika:...Well the rest of 'em are all pricks but I could really use some kindness!



Aaliyah:...I've picked up the dishes!

Ebony: That isn't personality, kid.

Zenobia: Establish personality? That's what you were trying to do? HA!

Yeah...can't nail down this kid. That's why she barely appears.



Brad: Wrong number! Wrong number! Why do you even have your mother's number, Zen?

Zenobia: LMAO you're desperate and pathetic. I won't elaborate because you don't deserve it. Byeee!

I actually like Brad so this is how I'm explaining this...



Lux: You tell anyone and you pay, mmkay Mason?

Mason: *already asleep*

Y'know-

Lux: It's a dog-eat-dog world, I have a rep to maintain, OK!



Lux: *spazzes* I'm a CHICKEN! Hehehehehehe I'mma CHICKEN!



Aaliyah: I'm...happy. I am so happy.

Danika: In this house? As if. But at least put some effort into your denial if you're going to be in denial.



Aaliyah: And now, I shall go and clean some baby poo!



Lux: I am a Computer Whiz...let's see about this dark web shit Aunty Mercy likes to bang on about.


Aaliyah: More dishes! Why are there so many dishes? I'm not Jesus OK! *loud wailing*



Danika: I KNEW she was in denial! How dare she pretend to be better than me!



Lux: *deep breath* OK I think I went far enough.



Bentley: WOW the chemicals today were-

...

Bentley: Scientifically fascinating.



Lux: WOW, he actually - wait,  how? I'm suspicious. Tell me how you fucking remembered, Father.

Blaze: *cough* Didn't use the Calendar app and an AI to send this.

Lux: Eat shit.



Ebony: Oh GOD there's no food! Somebody help me! I see no food at all! I'm gonna staaaaarve!

Mac 'n' Cheese: I just...put me out of my misery, woman! Eat me! Just eat me! I'm done with this world!

Ebony: Who was that talking? Can they show me to some food?



Zen: *full-body smack* I think I just peed a little.

I'm sure you did, considering that I left you for one second and suddenly you're out here instead of taking care of your needs.

Zen: But it's boooooring!



Zen: HELP. MY FWACE.

Eesh, those lips. Why is her mouth so small right now?

Zen: Help me! I need food! I don't see any food-

I'll get you to it, quit acting so NTH.



Lux: 96...95...97...so close-

Ebony: You know it doesn't count if you start counting at 90.

Lux: Watch me own you, sis. 98...99...

Ebony: Ugh I'm gonna make like this mac and cheese and end my own existence if she doesn't stop.



Lux: *smirk* And now I've ruined your MINUTE! Ah-HA!

Ebony: Wait - what? What a fucking annoying plan, Lux-!

Lux: 1001...1002...

Ebony: You're not funny.



Aaliyah: Dishes...dishes...so many dishes.

Zenobia: Shut up and go to sleep.

Aaliyah: Why don't you put on some clothes?

Zenobia: Who are you, your-?

Aaliyah: Grandma? No. But no-one wants to see this, especially not at freaking 10pm, Mum.



Lux: Hey. Watcher. Look, it's your favourite Gen 9-er and one dummy.

Ebony: Sis? Were you dropped on your head or something? If only I had been there-

Lux: We probably all were dropped. Heck knows I kind of bumped Mason when I was putting him down-

Ebony: Jesus what did you do to him?

Lux: Not like that, not like that!...He's happily sleeping, OK!



Aaliyah: Oh my God! Why are all these people such slobs? Pick up your dishes!

Uni: Is this her quirk? If so, that's weak.

Blarffy: I mean, who is she? Lana 2.0?

Dino: More like Lana 0.5!

Aaliyah: *sob* And now I'm being compared to my crazy aunt unfavourably? Woe! Woe is me!

Drago: Great, you made the kid cry, Dino.

Uni: All in a day's work for you, isn't it asshole?

Dino: Why're you all picking on me?



Blarffy: Wasn't she really chill at some point?

Dino: Yeah. She was cool!

Drago: Would you shush?

Aaliyah: *sniffle* I knooooowww! Where did that go?

Blarffy: I'd say it's a combination of your gloomy trait and being a Sutherland. I knew it wouldn't last long.

Aaliyah: It's like all the stress is just building up!



Mason: What the heck is going on NOW?



Aaliyah: I am TIRED OF THIS WORLD.

You're being a bit dramatic now, Ali.



Bentley: Yes, I'm gonna kick it...kick it...woo! Score!

Nice of you to wake up from your 3 hour nap just when you should have actually gone to bed.

Bentley: You can't control the Bentster!

Unfortunately, I can't.



Mason: Which one of you did this? I was so close to sustenance and you RUINED IT.

I second that. Who did it?

Bentley: I will admit to nothing!

Lux: Look at me, now look at your smelly idiot of a father. Who do you think is more likely to have done it?

Mason: But you're MEAN.

Lux: Why you little shit.

Bentley: He has a point.



Ebony: *hearing everything* I am the best caregiver.

I think you just might be, Eb.



Ebony: I'll show you how it's done.

Bentley: OK.

Lux: *sarcastically* Sure, lay it right on.

Ebony: Mason, what would you like?

Mason: Didn't I just get sorted; are you all idiots?

Lux: I'm an actual Genius, so-

Bentley: That's later, Lux.

Lux: Ugh, what do you know?

Zen's feet: Sorry it's just us. Zen's brain is making her walk reeeeally quickly.

Lux: For once, Mum is being reasonable.



Bentley you asshole stop smiling I SAW YOU TAKE HIM OUT.

Bentley: Did I do good?

Ebony:...Your entire life is a mistake.

Mason: That means no, you suck, idiot father!

Bentley: I may be looking after you, strange baby, but-

Lux: *snicker*



Lux: OK so maybe we're kind of bad at this.

Ebony: Don't you dare involve me in this one. I tried to help you out, but NO!

Bentley: No fuckin' way, I'm great!

Ebony: And now I remember why I hate you.



Bentley: Ah well, I guess I'll just wait out here...

Lux from behind the door: GO TO THE NEXT ONE YOU IDIOT!



Mason: Tell it again, Eb, tell it again!

Ebony: The Bentley Idiotmonster reached down and grabbed the child, taking him away from the food!

Mason: I like this story!

Eb it's sweet that you're telling him a story (even if you're slagging off his father in the process) but please go to bed!



Glass: WHERE are my ghost pants?

Whoops, I guess I deleted them in a CC purge or something...guess if you want to work out again you'll be working out in your underwear.



Aaliyah: Now I'm in a BUTT! Life truly sucks.



Bentley: Well. That looks like someone else's problem.

It always is with you NTHs.

Next time, Mason ages up and some time passes.

Score Sheet- 75
Single Births (27) +135
Twin Births (4) +40
Aspiration Tiers (66) +330
Aspiration (10) +100
Grade A (7) +35
Randomising everything for 1 gen (5) +50
Not using spare's satisfaction points (6) +60 
Every 100,000 simoleons (5) +100
Immortalise TH (1) +5
Autonomous Skill Max (2) +20

Pass Out (109) -545
Self Wetting (29) -145
Fires (11) -110




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