7.9 - The Dangers of Risky WooHoo

7.9 - The Dangers of Risky WooHoo

Summer: Hush, little baby, don't cry. Mum's feeding you. Aw, aren't you sweet- *glare* What do you want, watcher?

You're my TH, I keep tabs on you at all times. Also, you've gone soft.

Summer: Oh, hi. Mary is it?

Morgan: I'm a boy!

Summer: OK, it's Martin then, isn't it? Come over. I have something for you.

Morgan: What is that? And it's Morgan.

Summer: Just get over here, Morgana. It's a surprise.

Morgan: So what's the surprise? *dances* A dance floor? A stereo? A car?

Summer: Weeeeeellllllll.....

Summer: Surprise!

Morgan: I...should have...known...

Summer: *scoffs* Going soft! I'm as ruthless as ever, baby!

After leaving her cousin passed out on the porch (rude, but expected), Summer went to work...leaving the kids with no-one but Q and Brad. I am worried.

Mariska: Waaaaaaahhhhhhhh-

Lana: Shut up! No-one's coming for us.

Well Summer will....

Lana: Really?

In about three hours, I suppose.

Lana: Drat.

Lana: That was quicker than three hours...and he did get it right on the first try.

Mariska: Now for our other needs.

Brad: I'm an awesome dad!

Eh. I'd put you at about mid-tier, as far as Sutherland spouses go. You're not bad.

Obviously, as soon as I say that, Lana starts crying and he abandons her to go game. But Granddad Q comes to the rescue.

Quinton: You smell weird...

You know what to do, you had babies of your own.

Quinton: And that's your last need.

Nice job, Q. I'd give you guys about a 5/10 if we were scoring this. On the one hand, both of them are asleep now...but you both waited for an hour before doing anything.

Summer: Get me inside! I'm BURNING.

Sorryyyyy...

Summer: Burn this outfit, not me! Save me!

Quinton: Oh yeah, I am back in the kitchen! Let's fry this stir!

Uh...

Quinton: Stir fry! With tofu!

That's not how the word 'stir fry' works.

Glass!

-5.



Quinton: And yeah, I'm back to the bar. I'll be culinary at heart forever! Well, for about 4 day-

Noooo, don't die.

Pls.



Summer: And this is Aahana being weird with Darin, and there's Candy messing with Stefanie, and Lilith making eyes at Bella...it's a shame you never came to these parties.

Dahlia: Why am I here again?

Friendship spam, I want you two to spar, hurry up.



Dahlia: Hey, that one looks like my mother, bitching and nagging! How uncanny.

Summer: Don't project your feelings about your mother onto innocent stars.



Quinton: Drink number 2! Bottles, go!



Summer: Vampiric training. The fun way. Let's go.

Dahlia: The fun way? What, are we going to read fun books?

Summer: No, silly. We can use your power. Wanna do it?

Dahlia: Do I? Oh yeah. I hate training with Mum because she says I have to wait to use my powers! I should come here more often.

Summer: Great. Afterwards let's spar.

Dahlia: Can't. I'm a teenager. Wait eight days.

Summer: Eight wha - oh dammit! We can still train though.



Margot and Lilith's kid got married.



After training...

Summer: Eight days. *shakes head*

Dahlia: Well...we're friends now.

Summer: And that's good. I love to know my little nieces and nephews.

Dahlia: We're cousins.

Summer: Oh right, cos Kale...yeah. I remember.



Q, the only other person who's awake and not at work, is being really helpful.

OK, so after that he went to bed, but Summer came to sort the rest out, so it was fine.

Lana: Oh my God, Mum, I can do this on my own!

Summer: You may be able to, but game mechanics. Suck it up, kid.

Lana is independent.



Mariska: Mummy, mummy! Hold me forever and forever.

Summer: Well that's not gonna happen. Jeez, what's up with you kids?

Lana: Do things by yourself, Mariska, silly!

Mariska: But I wish to cling!

Summer: Don't be weird, kid!

Mariska is clingy.

As you have seen, they both have Glass's skintone, which is awesome. Mariska is a human with Brad's eye colour, and Lana is a vampire with Summer's eye colour. Toddlers look really samey anyway so idk about their other genetics.

Summer: Get...in...the prison!

Lana: Don't touch me! I can do things for myself!

Brad: I like this kid.

Summer: OMG shut up Brad.

(I changed her outfit between screenshots for some reason. I like this one better anyway.)



Lana: I hate this sandwich, and I hate you!

Summer: Well you're *sings* never gonna get *stops singing* a second option for food, or another mother, so suck it up. Look at your sister, she just picked up some chilli and started eating it like a nice kid. Can't you be a nice kid?



See? Mariska is very sweet.

Mariska: Can I make my eye as big as this piece of chilli? I sure can!

You're actually pretty close.



Mariska: NO! I'd rather give myself brain damage by CHAIR!

Summer: Mariska, get yourself on that damn potty right now. Or you can eat floor chilli for the rest of your life.



Summer: See? Good girl!

Mariska: I'm all fuzzy! Now do you see why I didn't want to do this?



Brad: You have been freed!

Lana: Great! Now put me to-



Lana:-bed.

Brad: Nah. I think you'll like the floor.



Lana: NO!

Brad: What then?

Lana: I already said it. BED!



Lana: Lullaby?

Brad: No. I'm getting out of this window ASAP! Do you want me to die or something?

Lana: I want a lullaby, no matter what it takes!



This is Aadhya, the nanny I hired. Summer has to work, and while Brad did OK at getting Lana to bed, I don't think he can handle two toddlers.



Danika: I'm a ghost! I died! I fly into things and break them! I am awesome!

Aadhya: Kids and their imaginations...

Glass: She's so obviously telling the truth, Aadhya...it's wishing well stuff. Blame my daughter.

Quinton: Good morning, my love...

Glass: Oh, Q, how nice to see you this afternoon.

Quinton: Very funny.

Why are you all in the nursery, the ONE ROOM in the house that someone is sleeping in?



What the shit, Elin. If I'm remembering correctly, you were friends with her too. Good friends, in fact.

Also, she's your and Q's MOTHER, get it together.



Mariska: OY, FATHER.

Brad: What?

Mariska: Let's dance!



Later...

Brad: Say toilet!

Mariska: Uhhhhhh...what is that?

Brad: No, say toilet!

Mariska: I can't pronounce the 'oi' sound yet!

Squeeee this is adorable. I didn't know Sims can do this autonomously.



Aadhya: Nothing sexier than a dead man sliding. Hubba hubba, I'll pick you up, baby-



Quinton: Not dead. And ew.



Quinton: What's eating you?

Mariska: Nothing! But I'm sad from lack of fun and sleep.

Quinton: So that's something. What do you want me to do?

He did nothing.



And after Q, Brad and the nanny all failed to put her into bed...I realised.

I made the second toddler bed inaccessible.

*facepalm*

So yeah, this fail is entirely my fault.

-5.



Danika spends nearly all her spare time out here.

Danika: Bubbles bubbles bubbles! Die monsters die!

I guess this is more fun then hanging around the twins.



Danika: My mum does fly in a rocket! All the time!

Aadhya: That's so sweet, I'm sure you mean aeroplane-

Danika: We don't have those. We have rockets.

Summer: She speaks the truth, you useless bitch. I do fly in rockets. Rockets with lasers. So watch out.



Lana: And Mrs Hat left her baby alone forever and ever, and she also said, I love you Danika!

Danika: Why would she leave the baby alone?

Lana: So it could flourish!

Danika: It would die.



Aadhya: Was I that useless?

Summer: Yes. Yes you were. But you can be useful in other ways.



Quinton: Hurry up and go!

Brad: Yeah! We believe in you!

Lana: OMG GO AWAY!



Brad: Wanna WooHoo?

Summer: Sure.

Brad: Let's just really go hard on the protection though.

Summer: Definitely.



Lana: Um...Granddad.

Quinton: You get out!



Summer: Hi. Caleb! Come over!

Glass: Well, that's not suspicious at all, Summer. In your underwear, inviting another man over...

Summer: You cannot talk, Mother, and it's for my vampiric aspirations.



Really Summer?

Caleb: Uhhh...

Summer: It's Fight Number One, Caleb. Fight the urge to stare at dis bod in its best undies!



Caleb: Away, temptress!

Summer: You don't have to hit me in the face!

Caleb: I would feel wrong hitting anywhere else?



Summer: I win again!

Caleb: HOW?

Seriously Summer, do you keep garlic in your pocket or something?

Summer: No. I don't have immunity. I'm just that good.



It appears so.

Summer: Milestone complete!



Lana: What's that? Hmmm...no seriously, what is that? It smells terrible.

Get AWAY from there.



Lana: Mummy, you're feeding me!

Summer: You can have all the food you like if you don't look in the toilet more.

Lana: But it's fun.

Summer: Do you want me to feed you floor chilli? Because I will feed you floor chilli.



Lana: If you're going to chunk, don't do it on my head, Mum.

Summer: *gag* Not going to!

Lana: Really?

Summer: OK maybe-

WHAT HAPPENED TO GOING HARD WITH THE PROTECTION?

Risky WooHoo is on 5%! HOW. Seriously, Q and Glass had WooHoo like a bajillion times and never had unplanned kids.

I did want Summer to have more kids but I was planning it so the kid would be born on the twins' child birthday.



Summer: F*ck my life!



Summer: Baby. Not of the food kind. Get ready, Brad.

Brad: *prays to be killed*



Ashby is an adult now. How weird...

Margot is also an adult, with Daya's adult birthday approaching.

It feels too soon, but that's probably because Summer doesn't age.



Lana: I stole your arms!

Summer: Not amused...now meet your new sibling! Head up further!

*slowly backs away*



Summer: For now, you like bottles.

Lana: Yes...

Summer: Soon you will thirst only for blood. Get ready.

Lana: Uhmmmmm....



Brad: - there's nothing wrong with the kid!

Mariska: Never leave me there again! The beds are evil!

Summer: ...



Turquoise Car Bed: I almost had her!

Red Car Bed: We will take the children one day, I swear!

See how Lana is asleep? This is my plan. One kid is always asleep so the idiots only have to take care of one of them at a time.



Mariska: No, applesauce! You can't save me! No-one can!



This is the smug smirk of a child who has lost me -5, again.

Mariska: You still love my Aunties, and Mum has told me all about their failures.

Your mother was actually queen of the failures, and I love her, so I can love you too, Mariska.



I still love Q, and he's doing stupid shit like this.

Quinton: 'Riska! You smell!

Mariska: So why are you potty-training me instead of just dunking me in the bath?



Danika: I got an A! Yaaaay!

Elin: Oh great, your life is the best! Let's fawn all over you!

Danika:...Lady I am dead, show respect!

+5. (I know she's been a kid for way too long, but seriously. Nothing in the rules about that, and I need some freaking points.)



Summer: Get me inside!

I queued up an interaction. Now do the freaking interaction! I don't want you to burn!

Also, you're lucky I changed your career outfit. That suit was...ugly.



Brad: Oh, don't worry, I'm a perfectly capable parent-

Summer: Has he given you a bath?

Mariska: *wails* NO!

Summer: Do you want a bath?

Mariska: YES!



Later...

Lana has woken up, Mariska just went to sleep.

Lana: Feed me! Feed me! Or just put me down, into the hands of a more capable adult.



(Mariska had a nightmare, woke up two people and then screamed for food. Brad dealt with it as well as he could).

Mariska: Granddad HELP!

Quinton: Chill out kid. He fed you. The other one needs our help.

Mariska: Do you see what he fed me?

Quinton: CHIPS! You fed her chips?

Brad:...I don't really know what babies eat.



Ida: Who the hell are you? Get out of the family home!

Quinton:...It's me, Mum. Quinton. I'm just old now.

Ida: Oh...yeah, I see it. Sorry, dear. And shit, I'm really old. Damn! What have I missed?

Quinton: Summer had twins. They're toddlers. It's hell.



Lana: I am the coolest.

Summer: *clenches fist* Do not joke. I'm in no mood for joking.



Lana: Wow, Mum, you're like, super miserable.

Summer: *retch* Shut up!

Lana: Off to dance!

Summer: Good, get out of my sight.

Lana: The only thing in your sight is a sicky toilet bowl.

Summer: AWAY WITH YOU!



Lana: Why is it FLOATING?

Ida: Relax, relax, I'm leaving it. It'll come down soon.

Lana: *lip trembles* *cries*

Ida: Really? Just for that? Damn am I glad I didn't have to take care of six of these.



The next morning...

Danika: Mother why did you get pregnant again!

Summer: Don't remind me or I'll slam my head into this computer!



Brad has forgotten how to hold and use a spoon.

Brad: I know I picked up this metal thing for some reason related to my cereal...but I have forgotten? What is this curious object?



Summer: Sorry we haven't talked much...

Brad: Blame the twins. I'll see you around, gonna use the microsco-

Summer: You will stand here and speak to me until I feel we have effectively rekindled our relationship.



Lana: Wooo-oooh, it's just me myself and I!

Sorry Lana. Mariska gets the high-chair, and you get a potato right now.

Lana: I said 'woo'. This is awesome! Independence for LYFE.



Summer what.

Summer: What? It'll either disappear into nothingness or hit one of our annoying neighbours. I call that a win-win.

(And that's a -5, folks)



Brad: DIE POTATO!

(Potato: Nuuuuuuu)

Lana: Don't hate on the potato, dad.



Even if Mariska's all fuzzy this is pretty sweet.

Mariska: The ducky and the sponge are FRIENDS.

Summer: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

Mariska: The ducky?

Summer: Booo.



Oh, look who's here.

Xena: *muttering* Damned demon children of hers...Brad, you're my BFF, but you're an idiot.



(Awkward hall table and comic stand are awkward)

Lana: So a superhero learns to fly-

Mariska: -every day, every hour, turn that pain into power

Summer: Oh relax kids, what do you know of pain?



Danika: Should she really - MUM, MARISKA'S OUTSIDE!

Summer: Oh let her be! Kids need to explore! I'm not a helicopter parent-

Danika: Yeah, but she's going on the street.

Summer: Shut up, I want a nap, OK? Leave me be.



I got Brad off work. Technically I can do that anytime I like, but I don't like to take advantage of that, so often I just let people go to work with terrible need bars.

Brad's sleep bar is iffy but the main reason for keeping him off work is that I want he and Summer to work on their relationship. Their friendship is kinda low. So it's not due to point-related motivations.



Xena: These poor people. What would they think of their descendants being such monsters?

Mariska: You don't know our family.

I'd say Ida would find it vaguely amusing and ignore it, but if someone fed off her she'd go apeshit. Bronson would get nervy and then eventually get used to it.

There's your answer, Xena.

You can stop bitching now.



You look awfully happy for someone who's had a nightmare.

Lana: I had a dream, Dad.

Brad: What happened in it?

Lana: The potato killed you.



Nooooo no no no no.



Kale: Haha, I'm ramming you AND your foetus.

Summer: Kale. I am not in the mood. I'm pregnant and I've been running around after two toddlers for the best part of two days. You know the drill. Stand about ten feet away, very still, and I'll feast.

Kale: What if I don't want-



Kale: -to. Hey, what was I talking about?

Summer: Nothing important, you dumbass bit of...food.



Mariska: Not that I don't love to cling onto adults, Granny Glass, but why are you holding me?

Danika: What's up, Grandma? Seriously, you've got that dead-eyed stare going on.

Glass:...I saw the notification. I'm just thinking, girls. I could have done better...

Aw Glass.



Danika: So there's Uni and Drago. They're the snarky observers, the calming influences. There's Dino, and he's a bit of a whiny coward.

Mariska: What about the big scowly bear?

Danika: That is Blarffy. He's hardened, y'know. Generations of this household have inflicted their anger onto him. He has a heart but it's buried under ruthlessness built up from so much abuse.

Mariska: What about the tiny one?

Danika: That's the Blue Bear. He needs no explanation. He is the most awesome of them all.

Dino: Excuse me?

Uni: Psh. As if.

Blarffy: Don't start crying again.

Drago: HAH.



Summer: Fire ant!

Brad: I think it looks like...a dog. Or a bunny? Who knows?

Summer: No, it's definitely a fire ant.

Brad: I'm not seeing it.

Summer: Get it off you, or you'll be bitten! It will hurt!

Brad: Ohhhhh, a real fire - ohhhh. I understand now.



Brad: You look amazing tonight, my love.

Summer: Oh, don't charm me. I look like I swallowed a bowling ball.

Brad: Nonsense. You're simply blossoming with our child.

Summer: Well...thanks. I guess I'll just take the compliment.

Brad: Thank you.

Summer: No, thank you.

Next chapter, the kid will be born, and the twins may age up into children.

Score Sheet- 5 (dammit Mariska)
Single Births (18) +90
Twin Births (4) +40
Aspiration Tiers (62) +310
Aspiration (7) +70
Grade A (6) +30
Randomising everything for 1 gen (3) +30
Not using spare's satisfaction points (4) +40
Every 100,000 simoleons (4) +80
Immortalise TH (1) +5

Pass Out (94) -470
Self Wetting (27) -135
Fires (10) -100