Yay, it's Elin's WYDC again! Finally. I'm sorry it's been so long. Anyway, welcome back. No babies this update, because the house is full.
Djibouti: This grilled cheese loves me!
Cam: Yeah. This kid is lame.
Denmark: *butt dance*
(I will try to stop making stupid references but I make no promises...)
EVAN BOUGHT A CLOCK! It is about 3.45pm, a perfectly acceptable time to visit your daughter!
I'm saying yes, because apparently there aren't enough previous baby daddies at the house.
Also, this is the point where I decided that toddlers have to max one skill and potty. Because it takes so much time to keep them alive, they have barely any time to skill. That means Cam's almost done, so she might actually age up during this little interlude.
What in the hell is that, Evan?
Elin: Bush quicky. Now.
Gunther: I do want to make a start on my sci-fi, Elin...
Elin: I could always bring out the cuffs again...
Evan: Think I dodged a bullet there...
Wait what?
Elin: Seriously, that ship sailed a long time ago. You're here to look after my other children. F off.
Evan: I see. You love your husband.
Elin: Ehhhh...
Evan: Come on. Let's figure out how to re-nail Elin, man.
Denmark: You can't go near my mother, fool!
Vikram: Please stop.
Evan, quit.
Even on autonomy he cleans now, lol.
Gunther: I know my place.
Good.
What the heck is this?
Denmark: Not fun. NOT FUN.
Vikram why are you still here? And who eats at 1am?
Vikram: Me! I can't leave but Elin still waved a knife at me when I tried to eat earlier. She says 'take care of your love-children' and I do, I do, but - *bursts into tears*
Vikram: *whispers to sandwich* So beautiful. So beautiful.
Ali the Vampire: *ridiculous fake Transylvanian accent* I am here to suck your blood!
Vikram: Hey man.
Ali the Vampire: Hey m - I'm SCARY!
Vikram: Eh.
Az: Ooh, swirly...oh, hey man.
Ali: The time has come - I am SCARY!
Az: You're some dude in a vest. Are you screwing my mum or something?
Az proceeded to be bitten, and passed out on the floor.
Vikram: Mmmmmmmffff...
He's still here. And knocking out in a bush. There are like five spare beds, y'know, Vic.
Ahahaha, what did I do?
I'm keeping this.
Gunther: None of your mockery!
You're cleaning up baby shit while in a white track jacket and floral formal pants! Can't not mock you.
Gunther: And I finally caught that slippery frog!
Bosnia: This story is-
Elin: Boring. Very boring. Just indulge him, honey. His life is just that little bit too pathetic to NOT pity him.
On a side note, look at that toddler going out of the house unsupervised. Grade A parenting.
Djibouti: This is too hard! The mountain is unclimbable!
Denmark: Shut up, twin! Just shut up! You're ruining my mountain vibes!
Djibouti: I think I twisted something...
Denmark: OMG SHUT UP DJI-
Marcus it is 12pm and THAT SHIP SAILED.
Elin: Permission to-
No.
Elin: You didn't even hear me out!
No acid.
Elin: Wh- I wasn't- DAMMIT.
Exactly. Get back to work, you're not getting arrested, you have twenty more kids left to birth.
Elin: I see you're eating salad, Vikram.
Vikram: S-sorry ma'am! Miss Elin. Mrs um...
Elin: Ms. Sutherland, thank you. Now...don't worry. That salad is wilted and disgusting, not unlike Gunther over there.
Gunther: I worked very hard on that.
Elin: You chopped some vegetables!
Gunther: I TRIED.
Vikram: Well, you didn't try hard enough!
Gunther: WHO THE HELL IS THIS GUY?
Elin: A...friend...
Vikram: Yeah, this is disgusting as hell.
Elin: Thanks for eating it, hon. Me and the kids won't touch it.
Vikram: You're welcome, and what's this friend business?
Elin: Thanks for eating the salad, and I won't touch you.
Elin: What the - no, shut up, you bitch, I own you in every way possible!
Elin's insanity shows itself.
As does Gael's.
Gael: I mean, the SUN? That asshole is the WORST!
Bos: Really Watcher. This is the friend you made me have.
That is what I have picked, yes.
Bos: *sigh* The sun won't hurt you, Gael, everything is chill, blah blah.
Vikram is knocked out in Elin and Gunther's bed. Ah well. He can stay there until one of them need it. Or until Egypt cries.
Crap, it got in the house.
Gael: You're not even a real bear!
Blarffy: NEVER PRETENDED TO BE!
Gunther: Did you screw my wife and are the D children yours?
Vikram: Why would you suggest such a thing?
Gunther: Denmark's hair colour? You little bitch.
Vikram: If you're going to insult me and make baseless accusations do it with some passion, man.
Elin, your husband has suspicions and we're only on baby 6.
Elin: Ah, shit. What's it about?
Den's hair colour.
Elin: Obviously the solution is to remind him that his brothers are blond...
Got it. Nice one.
Elin: Amateur.
Um...damn.
Maybe Elin and Vikram may have been a good couple in another life.
Az: Den's head is awfully close to the-
Vikram: Floor? I know.
Denmark: Blood....rush....whoo!
Lol Vikram missed the birth of his kids from his actual wife because he's still stuck at our house.
2.30 am. I thought you changed, Evan, I really did.
The next morning Dji is crying in the kitchen.
Djibouti: Daddy I'm SAAAAD.
Vikram: Well. I don't care and neither does your mother. Away with you.
Elin: What he said, ditto, WHATEVER. Get in bed, bitch.
Djibouti: SAAAAD.
Gunther and Elin having a vaguely normal relationship.
Gunther: Let's power through this shitty salad together!
Elin: YOUR shitty salad.
Gunther: Yeah, yeah, OK.
Vikram: *crying for no reason*
Denmark: Is Dad OK?
Well, honey...no. No.
Vikram: *through choked sobs* Stuck...forever...
Wait what?
Is that why Vikram is crying?
Dude, come on. You have a wife and like 25% of a romance bar left with Elin. Chill. Gunther doesn't even care.
Elin: I could really do worse...
Gunther: Up, up and away!
Cambodia: I'm a ROCKET!
Gunther: Wolfgang wtf, I have four kids and am an adult.
Elin's new book...yeah.
Gunther: Go! Go Egypt!
Egypt: Uh...dude. I can do this on my own, man! Leave me alone!
Little Egypt is independent and a vampire.
Gunther: Did you say vampire?
Nope. Nothing.
Gunther: No, you said vampire. ELIN!
Good luck El.
That aside, HE IS ADORABLE HELP.
Also, just as I was ageing up this cutie, Cam finished her skills, so she should be ageing up...
Look at her! She's super cute...but don't be fooled, she's going to steal your shit.
Klepto Sims hell yeah!
Vikram is sleeping in the bush again, and the other two adults are busy.
So of course...
Egypt: One...Two...Three...WAKE UP DUMB-DUMB!
Then I realised that Egypt is awesome and independent, so doesn't even need Vikram's help. Sorry Vic.
And here is teen Bosnia. (I waited the proper time this round, so no penalty at the end of it all!)
Bosnia is the prettiest kid right now, seriously. She's not just an Elin clone like I thought, but is still super-pretty. I love her.
Gael: CANDLES BRAH! AGEING COMPLETE
Gunther:...He didn't move.
Vikram: Pancaaaaakes....
Of course no birthday is complete without the ageing up of a random childhood friend.
Bos: 'Friend'
Shh.
Gunther: YAAAAHOOOO! I GOT AN ARM.
Vikram:...my only friend. You're my only friend!
Gunther: Aw, thanks-
Vikram: No, screw you, we're in the red. I meant this fork. Look at that amazingness!
Egypt: I'm mad and I own you bitches! I OWN YOU.
Denmark: Look at him...so assertive. He's learning, Dji.
Dji: I don't want whatever you're teaching.
Egypt: WELL MAYBE IF YOU DID YOU WOULDN'T BE SUCH A LIL WHINER!
Dji:...Help me brother.
Denmark: No can do. This is fun.
Come on man. GET OVER IT.
Aw.
Gunther: No! You're not a vampire, are you? Such a little cutie-pie...you couldn't be a vampire!
Egypt: Believe what you want to-
Elin: Egypt...
Egypt: I mean...spaghetti! Yay! Human child!
Gunther: Spaghetti indeed, kid. Who is mine.
Elin: Well, of course. Where would we get a vampire kid from?
Dji:...Uh, OK. Let's do this. FATHER! HOW DARE YOU LECTURE ME.
Vikram: Sue me, child.
Bosnia: Isn't he too young for that?
Vikram: Exactly. I'll win.
Bosnia: Ahhh. Good thinking...random guy.
Dji: WHAT ABOUT ME? I'm SCARY!
Vikram and Bosnia: Eh.
Lol. Dji is beta toddler for sure.
Bosnia: Hey, watch this! *sneezes*
Gael: I existed for this?
Denmark: Well HELLO there. Small one.
Egypt: I have fangs.
Cambodia:...I could steal something?
Denmark: Stay out of this, Cam. This is between him and I.
Egypt: You'll never win.
Cambodia: How about you both crush Dji?
Denmark:...Hmm.
Gael: Away, peasant. I no longer have any need for you.
Bosnia: Ha ha...he's joking right?
Egypt: It's cute how you have hope.
Cambodia: Well that guy's a bitch.
Gunther: So, now it's been said that we hate each other-
Vikram: Yes, we do, that's true,
Dji: Screw you! Whichever is my Dad!
Gunther: What?
Vikram: What? Nothing. The kid and I wish for you to screw off. It's simple.
Gunther: Yeah, see, that's my kid-
Vikram: Well-
Gunther: Just warning you. I'm going to go clean something.
Dji: Karate chop! Karate chop! Oh yeah! That pile of trash is scared of me now! It cowers!
Trash: WELL I CAN'T EVEN MOVE! Do you know what that's like? DO YOU? No, you don't, pathetic legged freak! I will find and murder your face!
Dji: Well I'm scared now!
Trash:...Lol wimp.
Dji: :(
Um.
Caleb: RAH! Am I...Am I doing this right? I don't wanna...damn Lilith, damn you....I mean! RAH!
Ohhhhh. I know what to do.
Caleb: Eek! What! I'll try another house...
Poor Caleb. He's a Good Vampire and I don't think he wants to be here. He shouldn't worry! It's...well, you'll see...
Oh Elin!
Caleb: Who?
...Where are you going?
Caleb: Please. I have standards. I don't want blood from a house that smells like baby poo and betrayal. GOODBYE SIR.
Oh! And look who got a bed! Vikram! Aren't you a lucky guy?
Vikram: *sobs*
Lol Bret is a shit father.
Well what did I expect?
Caleb?
Caleb: Um. It's morning. Can't leave. And it stinks in here, by the way.
Someone will clean it.
Caleb: Hmm. You should get more money or something. This is a shithole.
Would you shush?
Caleb: Erm. The kid.
Denmark: CLEANSE ME FATHER
Vikram: Not very scary, is that? 4/10, could do better.
Az: *snorts cereal* SUGAR RUSH.
Caleb: Humans are...weird.
A bit later...
Denmark: Whee! Clothes are for lame people like Dji and Egypt!
Egypt isn't actually lame though.
And why are you running outside with no clothes on?
Denmark: Cos I'm WILD!
Dji: Whaddya think of my MOVES?
Denmark: *sassy nail look* Wellllll....
Gunther: Let me tell you about that ball and chain, boys-
Elin: Excuse me, what am I to you? Beware of what you tell my kids.
Gunther: Our kids.
Elin:...Right.
Dji: Well, my daddy is-
Gunther: Wonderful, right? I'm a great dad!
Egypt: Not what he was going to-
Elin: Boys. Tell your real daddy you love him very much and move on with your lives.
Bosnia...?
Bosnia: You're a teenage girl, correct?
Yes.
Bosnia: You have work to do, correct?
Yes. (I really should be doing it)
Bosnia: Now, would you want to work in that madhouse?
...No. No I would not.
Bosnia: Leave me in peace.
Gael: The llama did what...what the hell kind of weird house keeps this book?
Cambodia: Curses! What's 1+1?
Gael: WHAT THE HELL KIND OF HOUSE IS THIS?
Egypt: I dislike your habit of lies, mother.
Elin: Bite me child.
Egypt: I will when I get my fangs in.
Az: Oh snap Mum.
Elin: I love you very much, but I won't hesitate to take action if you cross me.
Gunther: So why are you the one ageing up MY CHILD?
Vikram: Well-
Dji: Just shut up.
Thank God, this place is a tip.
Az: What?
Bosnia: *side-eye*
Cam: Well I could steal it...?
Dji: *whimper*
Denmark and Egypt: Whatever.
Elin: HA.
I always knew Denmark would be popular. After all, he's kind of a bitch.
Vikram? Are you leaving?
Vikram: My wife called the police.
Ah.
Vikram: But there were no police. Y'know, it's TS4.
OK...
Vikram: She threatened to send a hitman so I decided to go home. Also, my kids have aged up into self-sufficient children now. There's no need for me.
Truly the end of an era. Bye, Vicky, it's been fun.
Wtf why do I miss this turd?
Elin and Gunther: Jeez, son, you stink-
Az: Actually, I'm not your son, Gunther-
Elin: What! Don't lie to your Dad, Elin-
Gunther: No, he's right. His dad is that Marcus asshole, right?
Elin: Right.
Losing track, are we?
Pictured: rare moment of Elin actually mothering.
Elin: You are the chosen one.
Egypt: Who is this woman?
Elin: It's your mother. I'm a very busy woman, but I love you very much! Now, Egypt...you are the vampire.
Egypt: K. So?
Elin: So if I decide that my plans extend beyond this crapshack...I'll give you a call.
Gunther: Wha - now who the f*ck is this?
Bret: Long time no see, Elin...and my daughter is a child.
Gunther: Who's daughter? You're not Bosnia's father, are you?
Bosnia and Az from inside: Just keep the peace...
Bret: Sure. Let me in.
Fantastic father you are, Bret.
Bret: Shut up you little brat!
Cambodia: GIMME ALL YOUR MONEY YA BASTARD!
Bret: Who taught you that?
Cambodia: ME! Now if you love me you'll give me your bank account number and like it!
Bret: OH STEAL BETTER, LITTLE GIRL.
Az: But I'm only level seven -
Bosnia: Absolutely nothing important going on behind me...
Changed the rules, hon. Get out.
Bosnia: HA you look stupid as f*ck.
Az: I look the same, shut up!
Bosnia: Hey dickface. How's it feel knowing everybody hates you?
Bret: How's it feel to be ignored?
Bosnia: Also, you're a shit father.
Bret: Well...
Bosnia: You deny that and I'll punch you in the mouth. Then I will grab my 'Mischief Vol 1' copy and beat you in the head.
Kinky.
Bosnia and Bret: Shut up, we're arguing.
Thus ends our little interlude. Next time, Elin's getting knocked up again...and nobody will age up, judging by the times it's taken so far.
Djibouti: This grilled cheese loves me!
Cam: Yeah. This kid is lame.
Denmark: *butt dance*
(I will try to stop making stupid references but I make no promises...)
EVAN BOUGHT A CLOCK! It is about 3.45pm, a perfectly acceptable time to visit your daughter!
I'm saying yes, because apparently there aren't enough previous baby daddies at the house.
Also, this is the point where I decided that toddlers have to max one skill and potty. Because it takes so much time to keep them alive, they have barely any time to skill. That means Cam's almost done, so she might actually age up during this little interlude.
What in the hell is that, Evan?
Elin: Bush quicky. Now.
Gunther: I do want to make a start on my sci-fi, Elin...
Elin: I could always bring out the cuffs again...
Evan: Think I dodged a bullet there...
Wait what?
Elin: Seriously, that ship sailed a long time ago. You're here to look after my other children. F off.
Evan: I see. You love your husband.
Elin: Ehhhh...
Evan: Come on. Let's figure out how to re-nail Elin, man.
Denmark: You can't go near my mother, fool!
Vikram: Please stop.
Evan, quit.
Even on autonomy he cleans now, lol.
Gunther: I know my place.
Good.
What the heck is this?
Denmark: Not fun. NOT FUN.
Vikram why are you still here? And who eats at 1am?
Vikram: Me! I can't leave but Elin still waved a knife at me when I tried to eat earlier. She says 'take care of your love-children' and I do, I do, but - *bursts into tears*
Vikram: *whispers to sandwich* So beautiful. So beautiful.
Ali the Vampire: *ridiculous fake Transylvanian accent* I am here to suck your blood!
Vikram: Hey man.
Ali the Vampire: Hey m - I'm SCARY!
Vikram: Eh.
Az: Ooh, swirly...oh, hey man.
Ali: The time has come - I am SCARY!
Az: You're some dude in a vest. Are you screwing my mum or something?
Az proceeded to be bitten, and passed out on the floor.
Vikram: Mmmmmmmffff...
He's still here. And knocking out in a bush. There are like five spare beds, y'know, Vic.
Ahahaha, what did I do?
I'm keeping this.
Gunther: None of your mockery!
You're cleaning up baby shit while in a white track jacket and floral formal pants! Can't not mock you.
Gunther: And I finally caught that slippery frog!
Bosnia: This story is-
Elin: Boring. Very boring. Just indulge him, honey. His life is just that little bit too pathetic to NOT pity him.
On a side note, look at that toddler going out of the house unsupervised. Grade A parenting.
Djibouti: This is too hard! The mountain is unclimbable!
Denmark: Shut up, twin! Just shut up! You're ruining my mountain vibes!
Djibouti: I think I twisted something...
Denmark: OMG SHUT UP DJI-
Marcus it is 12pm and THAT SHIP SAILED.
Elin: Permission to-
No.
Elin: You didn't even hear me out!
No acid.
Elin: Wh- I wasn't- DAMMIT.
Exactly. Get back to work, you're not getting arrested, you have twenty more kids left to birth.
Elin: I see you're eating salad, Vikram.
Vikram: S-sorry ma'am! Miss Elin. Mrs um...
Elin: Ms. Sutherland, thank you. Now...don't worry. That salad is wilted and disgusting, not unlike Gunther over there.
Gunther: I worked very hard on that.
Elin: You chopped some vegetables!
Gunther: I TRIED.
Vikram: Well, you didn't try hard enough!
Gunther: WHO THE HELL IS THIS GUY?
Elin: A...friend...
Vikram: Yeah, this is disgusting as hell.
Elin: Thanks for eating it, hon. Me and the kids won't touch it.
Vikram: You're welcome, and what's this friend business?
Elin: Thanks for eating the salad, and I won't touch you.
Elin: What the - no, shut up, you bitch, I own you in every way possible!
Elin's insanity shows itself.
As does Gael's.
Gael: I mean, the SUN? That asshole is the WORST!
Bos: Really Watcher. This is the friend you made me have.
That is what I have picked, yes.
Bos: *sigh* The sun won't hurt you, Gael, everything is chill, blah blah.
Vikram is knocked out in Elin and Gunther's bed. Ah well. He can stay there until one of them need it. Or until Egypt cries.
Crap, it got in the house.
Gael: You're not even a real bear!
Blarffy: NEVER PRETENDED TO BE!
Gunther: Did you screw my wife and are the D children yours?
Vikram: Why would you suggest such a thing?
Gunther: Denmark's hair colour? You little bitch.
Vikram: If you're going to insult me and make baseless accusations do it with some passion, man.
Elin, your husband has suspicions and we're only on baby 6.
Elin: Ah, shit. What's it about?
Den's hair colour.
Elin: Obviously the solution is to remind him that his brothers are blond...
Got it. Nice one.
Elin: Amateur.
Um...damn.
Maybe Elin and Vikram may have been a good couple in another life.
Az: Den's head is awfully close to the-
Vikram: Floor? I know.
Denmark: Blood....rush....whoo!
Lol Vikram missed the birth of his kids from his actual wife because he's still stuck at our house.
2.30 am. I thought you changed, Evan, I really did.
The next morning Dji is crying in the kitchen.
Djibouti: Daddy I'm SAAAAD.
Vikram: Well. I don't care and neither does your mother. Away with you.
Elin: What he said, ditto, WHATEVER. Get in bed, bitch.
Djibouti: SAAAAD.
Gunther and Elin having a vaguely normal relationship.
Gunther: Let's power through this shitty salad together!
Elin: YOUR shitty salad.
Gunther: Yeah, yeah, OK.
Vikram: *crying for no reason*
Denmark: Is Dad OK?
Well, honey...no. No.
Vikram: *through choked sobs* Stuck...forever...
Wait what?
Is that why Vikram is crying?
Dude, come on. You have a wife and like 25% of a romance bar left with Elin. Chill. Gunther doesn't even care.
Elin: I could really do worse...
Gunther: Up, up and away!
Cambodia: I'm a ROCKET!
Gunther: Wolfgang wtf, I have four kids and am an adult.
Elin's new book...yeah.
Gunther: Go! Go Egypt!
Egypt: Uh...dude. I can do this on my own, man! Leave me alone!
Little Egypt is independent and a vampire.
Gunther: Did you say vampire?
Nope. Nothing.
Gunther: No, you said vampire. ELIN!
Good luck El.
That aside, HE IS ADORABLE HELP.
Also, just as I was ageing up this cutie, Cam finished her skills, so she should be ageing up...
Look at her! She's super cute...but don't be fooled, she's going to steal your shit.
Klepto Sims hell yeah!
Vikram is sleeping in the bush again, and the other two adults are busy.
So of course...
Egypt: One...Two...Three...WAKE UP DUMB-DUMB!
Then I realised that Egypt is awesome and independent, so doesn't even need Vikram's help. Sorry Vic.
And here is teen Bosnia. (I waited the proper time this round, so no penalty at the end of it all!)
Bosnia is the prettiest kid right now, seriously. She's not just an Elin clone like I thought, but is still super-pretty. I love her.
Gael: CANDLES BRAH! AGEING COMPLETE
Gunther:...He didn't move.
Vikram: Pancaaaaakes....
Of course no birthday is complete without the ageing up of a random childhood friend.
Bos: 'Friend'
Shh.
Gunther: YAAAAHOOOO! I GOT AN ARM.
Vikram:...my only friend. You're my only friend!
Gunther: Aw, thanks-
Vikram: No, screw you, we're in the red. I meant this fork. Look at that amazingness!
Egypt: I'm mad and I own you bitches! I OWN YOU.
Denmark: Look at him...so assertive. He's learning, Dji.
Dji: I don't want whatever you're teaching.
Egypt: WELL MAYBE IF YOU DID YOU WOULDN'T BE SUCH A LIL WHINER!
Dji:...Help me brother.
Denmark: No can do. This is fun.
Come on man. GET OVER IT.
Aw.
Gunther: No! You're not a vampire, are you? Such a little cutie-pie...you couldn't be a vampire!
Egypt: Believe what you want to-
Elin: Egypt...
Egypt: I mean...spaghetti! Yay! Human child!
Gunther: Spaghetti indeed, kid. Who is mine.
Elin: Well, of course. Where would we get a vampire kid from?
Dji:...Uh, OK. Let's do this. FATHER! HOW DARE YOU LECTURE ME.
Vikram: Sue me, child.
Bosnia: Isn't he too young for that?
Vikram: Exactly. I'll win.
Bosnia: Ahhh. Good thinking...random guy.
Dji: WHAT ABOUT ME? I'm SCARY!
Vikram and Bosnia: Eh.
Lol. Dji is beta toddler for sure.
Bosnia: Hey, watch this! *sneezes*
Gael: I existed for this?
Denmark: Well HELLO there. Small one.
Egypt: I have fangs.
Cambodia:...I could steal something?
Denmark: Stay out of this, Cam. This is between him and I.
Egypt: You'll never win.
Cambodia: How about you both crush Dji?
Denmark:...Hmm.
Gael: Away, peasant. I no longer have any need for you.
Bosnia: Ha ha...he's joking right?
Egypt: It's cute how you have hope.
Cambodia: Well that guy's a bitch.
Gunther: So, now it's been said that we hate each other-
Vikram: Yes, we do, that's true,
Dji: Screw you! Whichever is my Dad!
Gunther: What?
Vikram: What? Nothing. The kid and I wish for you to screw off. It's simple.
Gunther: Yeah, see, that's my kid-
Vikram: Well-
Gunther: Just warning you. I'm going to go clean something.
Dji: Karate chop! Karate chop! Oh yeah! That pile of trash is scared of me now! It cowers!
Trash: WELL I CAN'T EVEN MOVE! Do you know what that's like? DO YOU? No, you don't, pathetic legged freak! I will find and murder your face!
Dji: Well I'm scared now!
Trash:...Lol wimp.
Dji: :(
Um.
Caleb: RAH! Am I...Am I doing this right? I don't wanna...damn Lilith, damn you....I mean! RAH!
Ohhhhh. I know what to do.
Caleb: Eek! What! I'll try another house...
Poor Caleb. He's a Good Vampire and I don't think he wants to be here. He shouldn't worry! It's...well, you'll see...
Oh Elin!
Caleb: Who?
...Where are you going?
Caleb: Please. I have standards. I don't want blood from a house that smells like baby poo and betrayal. GOODBYE SIR.
Oh! And look who got a bed! Vikram! Aren't you a lucky guy?
Vikram: *sobs*
Lol Bret is a shit father.
Well what did I expect?
Caleb?
Caleb: Um. It's morning. Can't leave. And it stinks in here, by the way.
Someone will clean it.
Caleb: Hmm. You should get more money or something. This is a shithole.
Would you shush?
Caleb: Erm. The kid.
Denmark: CLEANSE ME FATHER
Vikram: Not very scary, is that? 4/10, could do better.
Az: *snorts cereal* SUGAR RUSH.
Caleb: Humans are...weird.
A bit later...
Denmark: Whee! Clothes are for lame people like Dji and Egypt!
Egypt isn't actually lame though.
And why are you running outside with no clothes on?
Denmark: Cos I'm WILD!
Dji: Whaddya think of my MOVES?
Denmark: *sassy nail look* Wellllll....
Gunther: Let me tell you about that ball and chain, boys-
Elin: Excuse me, what am I to you? Beware of what you tell my kids.
Gunther: Our kids.
Elin:...Right.
Dji: Well, my daddy is-
Gunther: Wonderful, right? I'm a great dad!
Egypt: Not what he was going to-
Elin: Boys. Tell your real daddy you love him very much and move on with your lives.
Bosnia...?
Bosnia: You're a teenage girl, correct?
Yes.
Bosnia: You have work to do, correct?
Yes. (I really should be doing it)
Bosnia: Now, would you want to work in that madhouse?
...No. No I would not.
Bosnia: Leave me in peace.
Gael: The llama did what...what the hell kind of weird house keeps this book?
Cambodia: Curses! What's 1+1?
Gael: WHAT THE HELL KIND OF HOUSE IS THIS?
Egypt: I dislike your habit of lies, mother.
Elin: Bite me child.
Egypt: I will when I get my fangs in.
Az: Oh snap Mum.
Elin: I love you very much, but I won't hesitate to take action if you cross me.
Gunther: So why are you the one ageing up MY CHILD?
Vikram: Well-
Dji: Just shut up.
Thank God, this place is a tip.
Az: What?
Bosnia: *side-eye*
Cam: Well I could steal it...?
Dji: *whimper*
Denmark and Egypt: Whatever.
Elin: HA.
I always knew Denmark would be popular. After all, he's kind of a bitch.
Vikram? Are you leaving?
Vikram: My wife called the police.
Ah.
Vikram: But there were no police. Y'know, it's TS4.
OK...
Vikram: She threatened to send a hitman so I decided to go home. Also, my kids have aged up into self-sufficient children now. There's no need for me.
Truly the end of an era. Bye, Vicky, it's been fun.
Wtf why do I miss this turd?
Elin and Gunther: Jeez, son, you stink-
Az: Actually, I'm not your son, Gunther-
Elin: What! Don't lie to your Dad, Elin-
Gunther: No, he's right. His dad is that Marcus asshole, right?
Elin: Right.
Losing track, are we?
Pictured: rare moment of Elin actually mothering.
Elin: You are the chosen one.
Egypt: Who is this woman?
Elin: It's your mother. I'm a very busy woman, but I love you very much! Now, Egypt...you are the vampire.
Egypt: K. So?
Elin: So if I decide that my plans extend beyond this crapshack...I'll give you a call.
Gunther: Wha - now who the f*ck is this?
Bret: Long time no see, Elin...and my daughter is a child.
Gunther: Who's daughter? You're not Bosnia's father, are you?
Bosnia and Az from inside: Just keep the peace...
Bret: Sure. Let me in.
Fantastic father you are, Bret.
Bret: Shut up you little brat!
Cambodia: GIMME ALL YOUR MONEY YA BASTARD!
Bret: Who taught you that?
Cambodia: ME! Now if you love me you'll give me your bank account number and like it!
Bret: OH STEAL BETTER, LITTLE GIRL.
Az: But I'm only level seven -
Bosnia: Absolutely nothing important going on behind me...
Changed the rules, hon. Get out.
Bosnia: HA you look stupid as f*ck.
Az: I look the same, shut up!
Bosnia: Hey dickface. How's it feel knowing everybody hates you?
Bret: How's it feel to be ignored?
Bosnia: Also, you're a shit father.
Bret: Well...
Bosnia: You deny that and I'll punch you in the mouth. Then I will grab my 'Mischief Vol 1' copy and beat you in the head.
Kinky.
Bosnia and Bret: Shut up, we're arguing.
Thus ends our little interlude. Next time, Elin's getting knocked up again...and nobody will age up, judging by the times it's taken so far.
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