6.8- Mr. Cracker
We start off this post with Ida sticking her hand through Daya's face.
Ida: What? Damn kid shouldn't have taken that fruit salad.
Daya: Assault! ASSAULT! I WANT JUSTICE!
Typical Kale. It seems like he's being useful, until I realise he somehow un-rendered Summer, the poor kid.
Kale: Why is everything my fault?
Because, Kale. You're you.
Also, she's hungry and you're putting her on the potty. GREAT.
Summer: So it just goes in the hole! Fascinating...!
Last chapter, Margot was outside playing with a giant phone. 8pm in Simtime and she's still out there.
Summer: Ma! MA! IF I SNAP MY WRIST WILL YOU MOTHERTRUCKIN' FEED ME?
(Kids swear like sailors. Not toddlers).
Glass: Sure. What do little things like you eat anyway? I think Q has something on the balcony-
Oh for God's sakes!
Glass: What? None of the other ones were this age.
Glass: I am the best mother ever!
Summer: WHAT THE HECK IS THIS?
Glass: Um. They're crackers. Because apparently I'm not supposed to feed you vodka, so these should work! I got them from behind the stove.
It shall be a long, long week until this thingy ages up.
Summer: Aw. Mr Cracker. You're my best friend.
Glass: Yep. I've done good.
Summer: And you won't ever ever ever leave me to die in my own filth!
*shudder*
Summer: *noms her best friend*
Glass: Yep! Operation Stove successful!
Her hunger was in the freaking red! She'd eat a beetle if you could do that!
Glass: Beetles? Now we're supposed to feed them beetles! Childcare is IMPOSSIBLE.
Glass: Bedtime, honey?
Summer: Yes. Mr Cracker is all digested now.
Apparently this is her sleepwear. WTF, me from three weeks ago.
(I had to stop playing bc I was having SERIOUS mod issues).
Margot: Listen, kid. If you don't toughen up you'll be crushed as easy as a can. You think you're going to be pampered here? Nope, you're going to only be looked after when you're dying. Nothing in this house works. We're all crazy and have no consistent characterisation.
Truth Bomb, Margot. Damn.
Aw. Congrats El.
Summer: Mr Cracker is DEAD.
Well, if it isn't yours Q-ly. With a promotion too. Nice one.
Quinton: *ignores me, clucks for no reason*
Insane sims gotta be insane.
Elin: *births child*
Also Elin: *asks to come over at 2am*
I've never been a parent (again, 16 here) but I'm pretty sure that's not how it works. Heck, me and my sis are teenagers and my parents still wouldn't do that.
Ida: Oh, why did you have kids? *shudders* I mean, YUCK! Who would want that?
Elin:...says the woman who had six of her own.
Ida: Mistakes! Mistakes I tell you!
Kale:...not right here or anything.
Elin: Oh God...I can still smell the nappies!
Ashby:...There there, Auntie. Maybe you should have considered alternate options?
Nothing.
Ash: But don't worry. Soon enough your kid will grow up to be like ME! I can squint my eyes.
Elin: Mistakes...
El?
Ash: *culturally insensitive squinting*
Eeeeellllliiiiin?
Elin: Mistakes...
Noooooo I'm not ready.
Don't go, Isa. Don't go.
Summer: HEY! WAKEY WAKEY! HEEEEEEEY LISTEN. I'M SAD!
Ohgodwhat.
Summer: It was Mr CRACKER! HE HAUNTS ME.
Jesus kid.
Kale: Not Jesus. But thanks.
Get up and help your niece, dumbass.
Margot:...
Summer: Ooh! Tin can!
HA.
*resetSim because f*ck that shiny thing*
Summer stopped wailing! She is now dancing adorably.
Guuuuuys. Don't die on me. Pls.
Daya: PARENTALS! I KNOW WHAT YOU DID!
Quinton: Daya seriously? Come back when you're older, we'll explain then, see Mum and Dad have a special-
Daya: YOU MADE CUPCAAAAKES!
That was unexpected, but less messed-up than it could have been, so fine. FINE.
Summer: New friend!
Aw, and you can't eat it either.
Summer: Wait what? I can't? BAD FRIEND.
Summer. Stop. You're freaking me out, kid.
Daya: -the point of it, Uncle Kale, is that MY TEETH are way better than those pathetic whites-
Kale: HO-HEM? You dare? My teeth are the best!
Summer: Is this my family?
Oh kid.
You were doomed from the start.
Ashby: Mothsfsfhseshe-
Glass: Clipping issues, it'll pass, it'll pass...hopefully before Ashby's cat-eyes give me brain damage.
Summer: ALL HAIL THE TOY REVOLUTION-!
Daya: Kid, kid, I can't take you seriously. I mean with those TEETH-
ENOUGH.
Later...
Glass: This is my 'no brain damage' dance!
Ashby: Yes, Ashbira, she can have this one. Just let her wallow in crazy...
....she says to her alter ego.
Kale: I have a plate.
Daya: Yeah. But your teeth aren't-
Kale: JESUS I have a plate.
Summer: Dammit someone feed me!
Margot: And once again they have left me.
Do you really want to be a part of that mess in the living room? Teeth and bad dancing?
Margot: Well, no. But I wanted an invite.
Aw. Poor baby.
Margot: Don't patronise me, I know how to avenge myself!
*backs away slowly*
Kale: Yeah, Kale! You have them good teeth! YEAH.
Ashby: What IS that...
Glass: Yeah, I'm not sure either. Apparently it wants more cracker friends or something.
Glass: I need my observatory time, alright.
Summer: *lip wobbles* But I want more cracker friends!
Q to the rescue!
Margot: It's saaaad...
...
Margot: Hehe.
*shudder*
Summer: A sandwich! THE CRACKERS HATE THEM! BETRAYAL AND PERFIDY!
Quinton: I'm great at this 'parenting'.
Kale: Sleep, they said. Eight hours, they said. But I am greater! I can subside on COFFEE!
Ohhhh you truckin' moron.
Ashby practised programming on her own! I was so impressed.
Summer naps in the high-chair. According to her stats, it's not a pass-out so I'll just leave her there for a bit...
Ida got promoted.
Kale is on his third cup of coffee.
Daya: Yeah, I just have the best life now. It's not about body parts anymore.
It never was!
But true dat to the first part.
Ashby got to level 2 in programming and she's still going! Freakin' amazing Sim!
Glass autonomously started to use the handiness table.
Glass: Bend to my will, WOOD!
Summer had a nightmare.
Summer: MR CRACKER HAUNTS ME
Kale: Goddammit child.
Summer: *sniff* He was a great man.
Kale: *sigh*...I have better teeth.
Daya: Kale had the right idea! Maybe his life isn't the WORST...
Oh hon...
Daya: What? I tried the dregs and I feel so gooood!
Ashby: Ashbira wishes you good night and good zen.
Summer: *sleepily* Craaaaacckker...
Isa's daughter got knocked up by Marcus Flex.
And both Vesa and Del are pregnant by other premades! Yay cousins.
The next morning, Margot commits two offences by A) Eating a frigging hotdog for breakfast and B) Bringing the stupid thing upstairs to eat.
Q is bringing everyone (sans Summer because she'll just get in the way and be annoying) to San Myshuno - I got the pack! YAY.
Here is Isa's kid working a food stall.
Quinton: Damn you, microphone! You're making me sound bad!
Glass: Pretty sure that's you, honey.
Damn Glass. Savage. But true.
Kale: Yeah. Go mic, go me!
Daya: RUBBISH
Ashby has made the smarter choice of just watching someone who actually can sing.
Ida: What? If I'm going to listen to my son and his wife sing at Level 1, I'mma need a f*cking drink.
It's 9.30am.
Ida: Level. One. Singing.
Ashby tries out the machine for herself.
Ashby: Ashbira like. I sound good.
Quinton you know who you're married too, please watch your step.
Obviously he's super in love with Glass and would never do anything with anyone else, let alone another married person (who is also super-pregnant) but Glass is jealous. So WATCH IT. I don't wanna put up with no stupid moodlet.
Ida tries out karaoke.
Kale: Sweet Jesus, and Daya said I was bad.
YOU WERE. ALL OF YOU.
At least Glass is responsible and is having chips.
Quinton ordered a banh mi from Rachel. Maybe he can make it now.
Despite dismissing everyone else, Daya has a secret go at it.
Daya sucks.
Daya: Um, yeah, I'm doing this ironically.
AHEM. I will put up with craziness, stupidity, pettiness, whining, jealousy and that from you lot. I have for five and a half gens. BUT NO HIPSTERS. I don't care if it would fit in with the theme of the pack.
Jesminder: Vampires? F*CK!
Quinton: Um, they don't exist. Morons.
Arun: I'm telling you! They're fluffy but evil! Sharp teeth! THEY'RE BLIND!
I was bored of having the rest of the fam hang around either day-drinking, doing karaoke or staring into nothing, so they're playing basketball now.
Daya: Wow you suck at this too.
Kale: I CAN DO NOTHING RIGHT
Yup!
Glass: Weeeellll he really does suck.
Margot: Mm-hm.
Quinton: Go Mum! Go Mum!
Ida: Aaaand ready-
Glass: Even Ida is better at basketball.
Margot: I don't know why you're expressing that modicum of surprise.
Blond dude: Even with the stink cloud she is an exquisite being -
Of teenage age, so back up.
Ashby: Hey bun! Ashbira wins! Get in my belly!
Margot: He's even worse than a llama.
Daya: Watcher, I know.
Quinton: Oh Glass, your lips are lovely!
Glass: That would be sweeter if you were looking at my lips...
Kale: I WILL SUCCEED
Ida and Q went to try the bubble blower.
Glass: *half-heartedly* Drugs? For shame! Actually -
*half an hour of bubble blowing later*
Glass: Yeah. Yeah. You're my best friend. My legs feel weird.
Quinton: Yeah. Me too....
Glass: You're soft...
Quinton: Your hair smells good...
Vendor Dude: Abracadabra FOOD!
Blonde lady: You're ugly, you're blue for some reason, you suck at life, and I HATE YOU FOR NO REASON!
Glass: Hot DAMN
Vendor: FIIIIIGHT. Please. I hate this job.
Lyric!
Lyric: Leave me in peace. I want to spend my last days before death without your jabbering.
Ouch. Ow. Savage as ever, Lyric. And evil.
Lyric: If you want sympathy, it ain't coming.
*sigh* Fine. You escape. For now.
Lyric: And my turn. *sigh*
I took them home because Glass wouldn't go to the toilet, even though there was a public one right there. Dammit, Glass...
I wasn't fast enough. -5. DAMMIT GLASS.
Glass: *sigh* Don't hate me.
Daya: Don't frigging talk to me, Mother.
Then I realised Daya did 1 tier of her childhood aspiration so that's 5 points more to even it out.
Still tho. Dammit Glass.
Ida was actually a half-decent parent (by Sutherland standards) to her other five kids, but I think she has no f*cks left to give with Kale.
And could you two get out? Summer is sleeping in there.
Summer: I still miss him...*sobs*
That doesn't mean you get to be an a-hole and walk into the girls' room, where all three girls are sleeping, and wake them up.
She did it to Ida too, but Ida got up, decided to let her evil trait kick in (she got a happy moodlet off a sad toddler) and went back to bed.
Ida: F*ck this shit, I'm out *mmhm*
Yeah, Ida has no more f*cks to give about proper childcare.
Elin: Sniff my sensual hair.
Glass: *muffled*
Everything is falling apart.
Another one of Isa's kids is pregnant.
Del got married to that drama-loving vendor who appeared in like one shot.
And Matt finally left Layla high and dry. I think we all knew it was happening but I'm still kinda sad.
Oh. RIP Lyric, forever-tense, forever-cruel, forever-possessive. Sorry we kept dragging you out to all the family events. Your jealousy and evil lives on, don't forget that.
Ashby: Yeah, my selfie wins.
Elin: She's rude!
El don't she's a teen...
Elin: I'm so proud!
Summer: Hehe.
-5 for diaper usage.
Summer: Sponge friend!
Quinton: But what if it EATS YOU?
IDEK with you guys anymore!
And again. -5.
This rule is going to murder my points.
Summer: Wow. This thing is even sadder than Mr Cracker...and I ate him so-
Uni: *sigh*
A few uneventful hours later, Margot aged up.
She got the Snob trait and the Public Enemy aspiration.
I knew she was evil.
She's pretty but she does look a lot like a redheaded female Quinton.
Next time, I think Summer and Kale are going to age up, and in Kale's case, move out.
Oh. RIP Lyric, forever-tense, forever-cruel, forever-possessive. Sorry we kept dragging you out to all the family events. Your jealousy and evil lives on, don't forget that.
Ashby: Yeah, my selfie wins.
Elin: She's rude!
El don't she's a teen...
Elin: I'm so proud!
Summer: Hehe.
-5 for diaper usage.
Summer: Sponge friend!
Quinton: But what if it EATS YOU?
IDEK with you guys anymore!
And again. -5.
This rule is going to murder my points.
Summer: Wow. This thing is even sadder than Mr Cracker...and I ate him so-
Uni: *sigh*
A few uneventful hours later, Margot aged up.
She got the Snob trait and the Public Enemy aspiration.
I knew she was evil.
She's pretty but she does look a lot like a redheaded female Quinton.
Next time, I think Summer and Kale are going to age up, and in Kale's case, move out.
Score Sheet- 85
Single Births (18) +90
Twin Births (3) +30
Aspiration Tiers (53) +265
Aspiration (6) +60
Grade A (5) +25
Randomising everything for 1 gen (3) +30
Not using spare's satisfaction points (4) +40
Not using spare's satisfaction points (4) +40
Every 100,000 simoleons (4) +80
Immortalise TH (1) +5
Immortalise TH (1) +5
Pass Out (66) -330
Self Wetting (22) -110
Fires (6) -60
Fires (6) -60
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