Elin's WYDC

Hi Evan.

Elin: Do me or die. *eye glints maniacally*

Yeah, welcome back to Elin's WYDC.

It worked. Baby B is on the way!

Bret: Yeah, get rid of that guy, hot girl-

Elin: See the thing is Evan...

Evan: Oh God. What. I should have known you were too good to be true, Elin!

Elin: Cease your yammering, you pathetic peasant. You dress like shit, you have stupid hair, clear mother issues, a really bad cold sore and a *beep beep beep*

Evan: But...but...we had- we did-

Elin: Yes. We did in fact have Woohoo. It was excruciating. Your purpose has been served, pathetic one. I didn't even bother to put on clothes.

Bret: *eyebrow waggle* Mm-hm, mm-hm, I approve-

Elin: Your time will come, Bret. I'll pick up on your flaws and destroy you mentally - heeey, I like this whole WYDC thing!

Evan: *sob*

Elin: OUT.

Two minutes later...

Bret: Nah, she won't destroy me.

Elin: Don't hold your breath.

Bret: A plastic rose? She definitely has a thing for me!

Elin: Seriously. Don't hold your breath, Bret. I hope you know what you're doing here.

Elin: This is nice. You feel the other man's baby, don't you?

Bret: I've made a horrible mistake...

Bret: I have made a horrible mistake...

Elin: OK, so clearly you have some sort of weird thing for elbows, but - I'll hold off on the destruction. I expect you back here after this one is born. Oh, wear proper pyjamas next time too please.

Elin's latest book is called Laments of my Victims.

Elin: That scream tho!

Ooh. Bret is evil too. But more like in the stupid, Matt-like way.

Bret: I riiiiise to you, ceiling and wall! I have already let my scarlet hand fluid into your defences!

So his evil WON'T help him survive the inevitable verbal skewering he's going to receive.

Azerbaijan: YOU AIN'T MY DADDY

Bret: I am feeding you.

Az: Touche.

The next morning, Elin takes a turn at helping her child.

Az: Mother, this is your bra and isn't actually food soooo...

Elin: Oh I know. Enjoy it son, it's the only one you'll ever see.

Elin: What's up, dollface?

Paolo: Ehm...

We'll get you one day, my pretty. One day.

Hang in there, you're almost done with this book...

Elin: This story is so boring! She only cried twice.

This is the next one.

I'm awful and tasteless, yeah. I think anyone reading this should have realised already.

Look at this kid. He's like a tiny old man.

Mack: Well in my day-

Bye.

Elin actually seems like she's doing OK here. Appropriate clothing and facial expression.

Of course Az is at home screaming his head off but I just need a quick intro and she'll be on her way.

Sergio: And then I moved...a dollhouse!

Kian: Mm-hm *nods and smiles but wishes with every fibre of his being that Sergio will f*ck off*

Gael and Olivia: Boy please.

Bjorn: Miss, I'm married.

Elin: The area of my body in which you have focused your eyes tell me that either you're not or you don't care about that.

Bjorn: My-my eyes are closed.

Elin: And mine are up here, you wanna go?

She may be an unhinged possible murderess but Elin is also a bit of a savage.

Later...

Elin what.

Elin: Ermehgerd I gotta new toy

Az: I BELIEVE I CAN FLY

Elin: I met a lot of guys yesterday...but I have settled on one to be my forever-slave.

Husband.

Elin: Hehe...same difference. He'll clean the house and look after all the kids, right.

Of course.

Elin: Deal.

Gunther Munch! Hi Gunther. You belong to us now. Elin got dolled up specially (in a dress that looks like a costume...WTF past me.)

Gunther: Can't hear you over the sound of actually being invited over to a hot girl's place.

Your loss.

Elin: Oh, my plans...ahem, I mean hi ~~forever-slave~~ Gunther! Want a drink?

Elin: You wanna know how I got this bump?

Gunther: Ehm...

Elin: Look. He's so innocent. It's almost...heartwarming.

Gunther: Oh yeah, I'm scoring.

Gunther: Oh you're so sweet! I can deal with two of these things!

If you only you knew, hon.

Gunther: ITMOVES

Elin: Well of course. (And this is the best I could get in this town?).

He's the best I'd let you have.

Elin: I'm your doom!

Gunther: Ha! Classic...you are actually kidding right?

Elin: Of course.

Gunther: I ought to go...Mother will be expecting me.

Elin: Oh no you don't. You do not.

Elin: You belong to me.

Gunther: Stop chasing me! I've changed my mind! I don't wanna be here!

Elin: I think it's too late for that.

Gunther: I've got to go to work - and I'm never coming back here again! Leave me be, strange woman!

Elin: Ohhh...you're gonna wish you hadn't said that, honey.

Gunther: Leave me alone! Don't call me that!

Elin: I'll do what I like to you. You belong to me... leave now, if you wish. I'll find you again!

Gunther: Never.

So where is he, almighty evil Elin?

Elin: I'm working on it. Just you wait.

Az: Um...does nobody give a shit about me?

Little Azerbaijan Sutherland. He's a gluttonous social butterfly and looks generic as hell. Yay.

Lovely family bonding time.

Elin: No I'm not moving this computer! Do you think I want to see your face, child?

Gunther: Well fuck.

Elin: Right. He's back. Az, get out.

Az: But I've only been a child for two hours! I can't go out there without an adult!

Elin: Out or I cut you.

Az: You really-

Elin: Yes really, little one.

Az: Right bye.

Gunther: *sigh* Right. I guess you're not going to let me leave.

Elin: Any transportation you call will refuse you service. There's no police in this game...so, you're stuck.

Gunther: Fine. *deep breath* Hello, darling. Did you have a good day today? I am sorry for trying to run off earlier.

Elin: Ah...I like it when you desperately fake pleasure.

(Disclaimer: I do not condone kidnapping. This challenge and my ideas for dialogue are getting kinda fucked up but this is Elin's challenge so really what did I expect?)

Gunther: *grits teeth* Of course, I am at your service.

Elin: OK, OK. We're gonna have fun, Gunther.

Elin: Dear God man you look like a fish. Now kiss me properly.

Romance of a lifetime.

Elin: Have you never kissed before? That was awful and slobbery.

Alex: Let me leave.

Az: Mummy says that if I like someone then I gotta hold on and never let them go. And I like you, Alex.

Gunther: Wait, so I can get a cab...

Elin?

Gunther: So she didn't...

Wow.

Gunther: Actually...I don't want one.

Are you sure you're making a good decision here?

Gunther: Sooo...

Elin: *rolls eyes* Of course I didn't cut off your methods of transportation. And I paid that cabbie to drive you here as a one off thing! I want you to actually be forty percent alright with staying here! Otherwise that makes you useless and me kind of pissed off!

Gunther: OK...why didn't you just tell me you wanted me to stay?

Elin: Because I'm emotionally stunted and kind of manipulative, with an evil streak a mile wide. Wanna give this a shot?

Gunther: Um.

Gunther: Yeah why not.

Elin: Perfect.

Gunther: Please don't look like that.

Romance of a lifetime.

Az: Hi! Do you want to be my friend? The last one ran away and said he had to call his Mummy.

Lucas: I'm just here for my brother.

Az: Oh, the man Mummy says is going to be her new forever-slave?

Lucas: Um...

Yeah, hurry up with this, Gunther. It's currently our only source of income.

Gunther: A little help here, since you do know the ins and outs of this machine...

Elin: I'm pregnant, Gunther.

Gunther: Didn't stop you from wearing that corset.

Elin: Didn't stop you from enjoying the corset, now fix my computer, you peon. And don't sass me.

Gunther: *sigh*

Lucas: You've got monkey bars? I'm sold!

Az: I have done Mummy's work...I mean yeah, Gum will do great here!

The next morning Alex is dragged back here, because Az is a Social child and he needs a little bestie.

That's going to be difficult with the way Elin is rubbing off on him.

Az: Don't touch me, heathen!

Alex: But you did - you touched - I'm so confused.

Alex actually goes in the house!

Az: That's Mummy's forever-slave. She says he kisses like a fish.

Alex: Hehe.

Gunther: *grumble grumble*

Gunther: *mutter mutter* I'm a WRITER, not a labourer.

Whine away, darling. Just keep doing that. You can't have your own computer until we have a bit more money, so STFU and get on with it.

Az's little friendships are kinda cute. Even though his mother manipulated Lucas's older brother into being her personal slave.

Despite Elin rubbing off on him a bit, he seems like an alright kid.

Elin: How about you go and plant those plants you found?

Gunther: How about you-

Elin: Help? Please try harder when engaging in banter, Gunther. And I'm not helping you, I'm pregnant and busy and unbothered.

Gunther: Hmph.

Az, being a glutton, goes where the food goes. Hm. He's already on level 7 social so I guess I'll let him be for a bit.

Elin's being sweet. How rare.

Gunther: You're actually not as bad as you make yourself out to be...

Elin: That is because you've been good, Gunther...