5.13- Time Passes and ARGH
Don: This tea is such a disappointment...
Ok wut.
Del: I love you so much, Dad, I even dislocated my shoulders!
Del: Mum, you're gonna kill yourself.
Ida: I'm fine, Del! I'm not worried!
I feel differently, perhaps because I've seen you hit yourself in the head twice.
Ida: ...
Del: So you could paint all of us! We'd be immortalised, like that statue, what's-her-face...
Ida: Sure, sure dear...I did it for me, in a book... of course I was young and I don't even think Elin was born yet, and that child is...special...say, should I write a second edition.
No, you have a Musical Genius aspiration to work on honey.
Ida: Did you hear that someone...smashed the dollhouse!
Quinton: That thing has been broken for years, Mum, don't be so dumb.
Says the boy who forgot to actually pick up his food.
I don't bother fixing it because someone's just gonna bring it down again, and anyway Elin doesn't give a damn.
What's up with that El?
Elin (from wherever-the-hell): I'm me.
Del. Stop whining about a plate that's not even dirty yet.
Elin: I wouldn't even pay 1 dollar for you! I'd trade you for a tube of sweets, you useless idiot!
Quinton: El, El, it's pot to the kettle!
Elin: I AM NOT A KETTLE.
She is still, like, eight.
Del: See? My ass does look good in this slip!
Quinton: Erm, Del...you really shouldn't be asking me these sort of questions...
Bronson: Shoulders back in place?
Del: Yup, you?
Bronson: Yeah!
Del: OK, let's hug for real.
Ida: I don't wanna know, do I?
Del: IDIOT!
That was some switch-around!
Bronson: Hehehe I'm hilarious.
And apparently you're also some sort of wizard, because you two were facing each other so how the hell did you scare her?
Del has a new shirt. I recently went on a giant CC spree (my favourite kind bc it's free) and I really felt like this one suited her.
Del: What the hell, Quinton, why are you such trash?
Quinton: Del do NOT put your hand there!
Stop giving incestuous vibes off Del, that's disgusting.
Elin was acting too much like a regular little girl recently. I was worried and slightly disappointed.
But here we are again.
Elin: Oh when I think of the dead I just gotta DANCE!
Matt you're not cool enough for that, stop it.
Elin why are you glaring at your dad like that?
Elin: I'm not glaring at him, I'm glaring at him and the pointy end of that rocket, and wondering what I should do!
There's Elin!
Quinton get off the floor.
You were literally on a chair, and now you've gone to do your extra credit on the floor?
On the bright side, extra credit. Well done!
Quinton: Robots are gonna take over the world!
Elin: Sure I'll help you and the robots take over the world, pot!
Ida: Honey, that's not what he meant-
Elin: Shh, peon. You're now the first to die.
Bronson: Burger?
Quinton: This movie is soooo mainstream.
Oh would you just stop.
Matt no that's some form of cousin, because she's Ethan's kid...
And what about Layla?
I'm going to fix this shit.
Yes Quinton, get that third skill point!
Also, I cleared out Matt's relationship with his something-cousin. Hopefully he marries the right girl next time.
No Gally!
Galactus started as a total manwhore, but eventually married the lovely Mariana. He is survived by his...seven children and his wife. He was fabulous and utterly cray-cray, and I loved him.
RIP.
Quinton, this is how your mother nearly died as a teen.
Quinton: So what, I'm bored, I don't c- *cough cough cough cough cough*
Quinton: OK maybe you're right.
Of course I'm right.
Scarlett: Ugh, the computer stinks of amateurs.
Scarlett: Oh HI, Mum. Did you decide that hitting on your grandson wasn't that good an idea?
Wanda: Oh be quiet, daughter, I still own you.
Scarlett: THAT'S NOT HOW HAVING CHILDREN F*CKING WORKS.
Wanda: Really? This old brain...
Scarlett: You raised five children, Mum, five-
(Of course I count Gamora)
Quinton: Great-Granny Wanda...? Mum told us stories about you all the time? How you stole all of the irreplaceable medieval statues out of the museum and sold them on the black market! How you trolled the whole town, pissing off people everywhere you went! How you actually did the goddamned Friend of the World Aspiration.
Wanda: Why thank you, young man,
Amanda: Bitch, please. I'm Amanda. She's an irritating idiot with a few tricks up her sleeve, who gets way too many five-finger discounts and tried to hit on her great-grandson. Me? I started this whole thing!
Elin: I'm sitting on the grass in my onesie and still I am mightier than you!
Del: Alright, alright! Whatever...little weirdo.
Elin: SCREW YOU DEL
Matilda-from-the-restaurant had her baby (srsly, everyone is related to the Sutherlands around here now). Her name is Star.
Katy had hers too, it was Lucian's and apparently they're still together.
Del: Er, hey-
Quinton: So, y'know, we heard...everything...
Del: Are you alright?
Katy: I've made a horrible mistake...
Of course this is what Elin reads. No First Unicorn for you!
Elin: Damn straight.
Seriously, the Sims have been kinda boring recently. Maybe Vesana and Matt were the most interesting...actually, it's probably that instead of hanging out with the art peeps, Ida's been sitting in front of a piano all day.
You two....
I'm going to go a bit easier on Ida. Tomorrow, we meet with the club.
WTF are those, Del? They look like pancakes mixed with what's scrubbed off of a blender.
Ida: RAAABLEGHEHWAWGH
BRONSON AND IDA, GET IN HERE RIGHT NOW.
Well, only Ida, considering she's my TH and Bronson isn't going to come in, but...
Dammit! They woohooed ONCE! Risky Woohoo is at either FIVE or TEN (can't remember, but it's LOW). This should not have happened!
Ida: Ooh, I done good!
F OFF.
Ida: I pissed you off...yeah, I definitely did well.
ARGH
Ida: So, I know it was unplanned, and that you're not gonna make it to the teenage years, and all of that...but my boobs are gonna get pretty huge for a couple days so maybe that's a plus?
Bronson: Sold!
Del:...why me
Del:...Dad stop clapping like a retarded seal and eat your breakfast.
Lemme guess, you're pregnant too?
Melina: *grumble grumble* Go away or I shank you.
I've missed you ladies so much...
Oh, and Caiphus.
Caiphus: I thought this was gonna be the end of it! It had been a blissful week, Ida...
Ida: Watch me care. I still have that old garlic noodles recipe...
Caiphus: *shudder*
Matilda: Davon can watch the baby. She's teething, and I'm out of there...
(And also, Addison the hostess from the drama-restaurant shacked up with Arianna's (Wanda's blue-haired friend) daughter).
Matilda: Really though, things are going well.
(They would be)
Melina: *fake smile* And you haven't killed him yet because...
Matilda: Leave me be, Mel.
And here we have...Keri. It is with great sadness I report the passing of Yesenia, the slightly doddery old widow who used to come round here before her very timely death (seriously that woman needed to go). Keri is the replacement.
Keri: OMG so awesome!
Right, I'll leave you be.
Isadora: ...I still can't believe you made me walk here with you.
Caiphus: It's called marital bonding, or do we not do that anymore, Isa?
Isadora: You could have changed right here, but NO, you had to change at the house and then come over here, you freaking- where's my sister? I want Mum's old garlic noodles recipe!
Caiphus: I hate my life...
Matilda: Lemme tell you about babies, Keri. F*cking babies...
Keri: Erm...
What f*ckery are you plotting now, Mel?
Melina: Now? Now? I have always been plotting.
Oh, it's Britany. Anyone remember Britany (again from the Drama Restaurant)?
How did it go, Brit?
Britany: Well, the WooHoo didn't live up to my expectations and then there was an incident with a pillow when he tried to leave our bush...
*holds hands up and backs away*
Poses!
Isadora: Mmmm yeah...
Caiphus: *kisskiss*
Are you making out with her chin? Because it looks like you're making out with her chin.
(Caiphus will say 'oh my God, that was one time' and then I will cut away from him so someone can talk about being punched in the face)
Poses do not work for these two.
Isadora: HELP ME, my arms are stuck in my boobs.
Caiphus: I am suddenly drunk on air, and cannot stand up.
Isadora: Get my hands out Caiphus.
Caiphus: Wait where are we?
Isadora: Typical. I'm stuck now.
Caiphus: Quit whining, at least your hands aren't in your boobs anymore.
Isadora: STOP IT- you are pulling me down with you, stop it-
Caiphus: I'm stuck!
Isadora: No, I'm stuck- use what little muscle you have, stringbean.
Caiphus: If I just push my feet and- AH MY TOES F*CK THAT HURTS.
Malaysia: Were you two...
(How in the...)
Isadora: Please, he has to earn it. And he doesn't earn it when he's wearing that.
Malaysia: That's-*snicker*
Malaysia, why are you so dumb? Who picks a fight with Mel?
Malaysia: Blah blah blah I'm Melly. Blah blah blah I've killed five men. Blah blah blah I'll kill you if you don't kowtow to my demands...
Janelle: Oooooh, bitch you dead!
Melina: Mock all you want, but the day will come...
Ida: Why...are you sad? Mad? Isa...
Isadora: No, I'm happy, it's just...LUCIAN, I WILL TELL KATY NOW GET OFF MY THIGH
Isadora: So you two are still doing the bump-and-grind.... not jealous at all.
Dude, that was your wife. She just died.
Billy: I was married? Well, that's news.
FFS...
Back at home, Ida has worked the best way to break the news to Elin.
Ida: You're going to have someone else to threaten, Elin! Currently, it's in my stomach, but soon the stork will come and remove it-
Elin: Please. I know what WooHoo is, birther. I was directly above the sauna anyway, I coulda sworn the floor was shaking.
Ida: ...
Elin: Silence...my favourite quality in a peon like her,
Ida: I can hear you!
Elin: *sigh*
Del:...Q, you know what a burger smells like.
Quinton: Yeah, but judging by the smoke pouring out of your armpits, I don't wanna know the smell of you.
Del: Touche.
Elin: If you continue to provide me with new peons to torment, I see us getting along quite well-
Ida: Shhh, honey. Let the sparkle speak.
Elin:...never mind.
The next day, it looks like pregnancy is really bringing out the crazy in Ida.
Ida: Knock knock, anybody there?
Quinton: Ugh, thumbs, they SUCK!
Bronson: I like thumbs...
Quinton: Speak for yourself dad, it's not like you're smart enough for opposable ones!
Oh snap!
Ida: OW QUINTON WHY-
Quinton: Ehehe I did nothing *'innocent' smile, whistles*
Quinton: Cutting my arm with your bowl was not a nice thing to do, Mother.
Ida: I don't know what you speak of.
Quinton: *glare*
Ida: IDK!
Quinton: I'm feeling lightheaded...
Ida: Boy go to school.
Quinton: *stalks off, mutters*
Ida, you have nothing to laugh about.
1. You're pregnant for the fifth time
2. You're in your second trimester and I'm making you work out
3. Your workout clothes are also rather unflattering, if I may be frank about it.
Ida: Ohhhh I'mma hurl.
*sings* It's the Final Countdown!
Ida: None of your shit today please.
Matt what. You hate her.
And Q was always her favourite anyway, why the f*ck are you even texting him about this?
Sims.
Del: I NEED THE LOO AND I'M REALLY REALLY MAD
Ida: *eyebrows in hairline* Maybe just get off your ass and go then?
Del: SHUT UP MUM AT LEAST I'M NOT EATING GUMBO WITHOUT A FORK.
Yeah what's up with that? Both of you.
Sims.
Ida: Selfie!
Del: *duckface* Wait, this is your Candy Crush...
Ida: Duh, how else was I gonna make you look at my board? How the hell do I do anything with that...?
Gotta love my new phone replacements...
Billy what.
Your wife just died.
F*ck off and think about what you've done.
Billy: Ohhhh...that...I keep forgetting. *fake sob* Cassandra!
Aw. Twins hugging. Love 'em both.
Also why are you in the girls' room you pair of eejits? I love you but there's an empty room where no children are trying to sleep.
Del: Level 300 wut?
Quinton: You betcha!
Quinton: Mum should put Ebi cubes in next time...
Del: Stop being such a hipster, Quint. Just enjoy the food.
Quinton: You like processed chicken legs, Del.
Del: I embrace them.
It's Bronson's birthday, but I'll be f*cked if I actually give him a cake.
Bronson: Even though I'm cleaning a bath?
That is honestly the only thing you've cleaned in your life. And it's been dirty for days; if you cared you would've done it; stop grovelling.
Ida: I will break you down, bowl!
UGH -5.
Quinton I love you y u do this
Happy birthday Elin!
Aaaaand you're insane. Guess that puts you in the running though.
Hello beauty! As I expected, she's female Bronson with Ida's nose. Female Bronson seems pretty though...so I'm cool with that.
Bronson also got some new outfits for his impending Elder Transformation.
It's only 1 day to the twin's YA birthday now so the chapter is being extended to that.
Quinton: The great pee god calls me! YAYAYAYAYA-
Also, Ida has a job as a painter now. I'm bored of the Musical Genius aspiration...
Elin: Get back in your crib, stupid baby, or my spikes will make you!
Del: You...you do know those are fake right?
Elin: Don't tell me what I do and don't know, BABY!
*sigh*
QUINTON
I love you, WHY DO YOU DO THIS
The girls have moved outside.
Elin: That poor plate, attached to your inferior hand.
Del: Let. Me. Pass.
Go around her!
Dammit Bronson, why are you in here? This is not your room.
Del: I could be TH right...
Bronson; Maybe if you kill the other two.
Del (after like four hours): Maybe I could kill the others.
Elin would kill you, and Quinton would just bamboozle you into not killing him, Del. Plus they're my sons and I love them.
Del: And just how would they get into his lair? Amateurs.
DEL GO TO BED
Elin's awesome sleepwear that I love.
Elin: Foul smell, begone from my body!
Why do you not CLEAN your nasty self?
Elin: Why do you not SHUT THE HELL UP?
Quinton: Yeah, I'm pretty awesome, aren't I?
Ida: The worst person to lie to is yourself, son.
Oh BURN.
Quinton: Mum stop telling me about this stuff!
Ida: Just remember, find a partner who doesn't make llama noises because...well I love your father but it's distracting.
Quinton: EWWWWWW-
I'll leave you to... that.
Quinton: NO SAVE ME
Ida: Yeah, and it's all like- *unholy demon screeching sounds*
Quinton: O__O I don't want to live on this planet anymore.
(Why did I write this conversation what is my life).
Elin's other outfit that I love.
Elin: EHEHEHE HIII STAIRS
Bye Elin.
Bronson: OH GOD! OH NO! FLUIDS EVERYWHERE
Eeeeeewww....
Aren't you two pros by now? You've done four home births, get with it.
Elin: If you compare me to a dorky panda one more time I will slap you, Quinton.
Ida: My little vegetable!
Kale: You. Did. Not.
Yes I f*cking did. It was the randomiser's fault though just saying.
Suits an unwanted child like you.
Ida: My little Ka- ohhhhh Bronson better've left that burrito in the fridge!
Shows how much she cares.
And let's show how much I care by heading off to the pool for some well-deserved R&R for this lot.
Elin: No, you cannot wear my jacket, Quinton.
Quinton: Ehmmmm...how 'bout now?
Elin: NO.
Oh look who's here. (I invited them)
Matt and Vesana: ZIGZAG
Matt: Matt in a hat.
Ida and Vesana: Ah-ha...
Quinton: You're humouring him because...?
Matt: I HAVE A HAT!
Quinton: KEWL.
That is possibly the saddest birthday I've ever seen.
Hai old Bronson.
Bronson: IT BURNS
Vesana: The weather's been lovely...
Ida: As it has been everyday since Amanda started this thing, dear...
Zion: Don't disrupt my SWOOP mothaf*cker!
Matt: The most burning question in this land...is what surface can my HAT WITHSTAND.
Zion: *slip*
Bronson: IT BURNS
Bronson: IT BURNS
Oh shut up!
Elin's swimsuit is one of my favourite CC's, and I just knew I had to use it on her...
Del's is there.
Del: Oh sure, show my body but not my face. This is just like the magazines...
Quinton: AWKWARD CLIPPING AWKWARD CLIPPING- hey I kinda like it!
NO
NO
Zion: I spy with my little eye something beginning with WALL!
Nathaniel: POOL O__O
Elin: So this shit is my prospects if I'm not TH...
Yeah. Not that any spouse I move in will act any nicer.
Someone splashed Elin...
Elin: Die.
Zion: Um...no thank you?
Vesana: I THINK I SEE NESSIE!
Bronson: *freaking awesome swan-dive*
Vesana: SHIT SHIT SHIT-
Del: WATER CHICKEN!
Elin: Do you want to be next?
LOL. Shows how much even the game cares about Matt.
*adds anyway bc he's sorta amusing*
We're at some thing Isadora invited us too.
Fletcher: Preeeeeetty....
Isadora: Mmmmffff....ow my mouth!
Matilda: That shit cray.
Shoutout to the dude with the fab hair.
And WANDA? Again.
Stay away from Quinton please.
Cale: Blah blah bla it's a real job.
DJ: Git rekt.
Vesana: This is fun but all I really want is pizza...
Yup, understandable.
We're going home bc I'm bored.
You're coming too.
And I just remembered that I get +5 for the birth of Kale.
Cameron: I can read books almost as well as I can read you, baby, and I can tell you're bored...
Bronson: AHA! A SPY.
OK now we really need to get home. Ida, get to it!
Matt: Out out, peasant.
Vesana: Reveeeenge...
1. Same freaking house! You're in the Sutherland house right now. Matt whai.
2. SAME FREAKING FAMILY.
FFS.
Ooooh.
So now we've got TWO Sims who could be heir.
Del: BIRTHDAY
Del is also insane.
So that's three Sims in the running for heir.
...
...
...
...
...
...
I am pleased to announce, after five months of seriously crappy playing (I mean seriously), that we are finally moving onto Generation 6, with the first male heir since Generation 2.
Congratulations Quinton.
I've got your spouse planned out and everything *claps excitedly*
And here's his room. Possibly my favourite one yet. Apologies for the random toilet; I suck at picture-taking.
Yes, there is a bar in his room. Mixology is his aspiration!
Next time: Quinton's spouse, and probably at least the making of the first baby.
Score Sheet- 85
Single Births (15) +75
Twin Births (3) +30
Aspiration Tiers (46) +230
Aspiration (6) +60
Grade A (4) +20
Randomising everything for 1 gen (3) +30
Every 100,000 simoleons (3) +60
Immortalise TH (1) +5
Immortalise TH (1) +5
Pass Out (63) -315
Self Wetting (17) -85
Fires (5) -50
Fires (5) -50
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