5.11 - Art Club Shenanigans
Ida: Well well well. You rule, Ida! You actually didn't make a child who's a clone of you!
Elin: Let's hope my barely-developed personality is also sufficiently different.
Ida: Oh snap, little girl, oh SNAP. Let's see how you last against your other siblings. (She won't stand a chance)
Elin: They are four, and I am one, but they are weak, and I am strong, Mother. Let me venture out of this room.
Bronson: Bish bosh! Bash! *gives bag a tiny little tap*
Wanda: I miss being alive...how is my granddaughter an adult and how are there so many great-grandkids? Also, Scarlett's driving me CRAZY...
I miss you, Wanda. :(
Wanda: And now my dad's haunting an incense burner...*sigh*
Ryan: Oh look, I'm in the floor.
RIP Pietro's daughter. She leaves behind four kids.
Elin: This game. It has stuck me in this gaming box, the peon.
You're the peon here. You got in there YOURSELF.
Elin: Shhh! I have enough aspirational smartness to overcome these pathetic autonomy mechanics.
Such big words for such a small girl...
Elin: I am mighty.
Easton: Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhh...I ANGRY!
That's just...no. Stop it, Easton.
Wanda: I'm going to punch something! And I'm gonna like it.
Mirror: Try me.
Matt: You know I'm funny, BLT.
(No you're not)
BLT: *screams and gasps for air* I'M DYING.
Matt: And that is what is so funny!
Elin (offscreen): Peon. *raises voice* Sandwiches don't talk, fool!
What are you Elin?
Elin: ISBI.
No, Ida is.
Elin: Do not link me and my genius to that thing you say birthed me.
Shut up Elin.
Del: There are bad vibes in this room, bro.
Elin: Murder...death...pain...morons...
At the museum.
Elin: Kill...rip...tear...
Bronson: Uhhh...this kid's a freaking Basilisk.
Del: Is Harry Potter allowed to exist for us?
Vesana: Don't get existential this early in the morning, kid.
Elin: Blood...slaughter...
Bronson: Ida help.
Ida: She looks like you and she's yours now.
I also called a club gathering.
Melina: *smirks* How did the bingo crowd like your dress, Adriana?
Adriana: Jokes on you, Melly. They loved it.
Ida's clothes are glitched...will restart soon.
Elin: Knock knock.
Quinton: Didn't know you liked jokes, El...who's there?
Elin: Your death.
Quinton: That's not how this works, El.
Elin: It is if I say it is, Quinton.
Vesana: You're married to that?
Isadora: I try to forget.
Vesana: MCCC...? Shit, I hope I'm heir...
Isadora: Yeah. That's a good hope to have, kid.
Caiphus: THIS ISN'T MY FAULT.
Isadora: I don't CARE, Caiphus.
Vesana: Oooohhh...
Couldn't resist.
Elin: I'm fairly sure if I had pulleys and a crane...something could be done.
Matt: Aha! You see! They told me I could never put a snapdragon on a potato! But I proved them wrong...
Del: ....
Matt: Do you not SEE, baby sister?
Del: Get away from me.
Melina: You have a problem, little girl?
Go away Mel.
Melina: *laughs to self* You can call me Mel if you wish for death. Now, if you'd excuse me, I need to find my anthrax...
Vesana: Someone pull this bush out of my leg.
Isadora: Mel...I didn't take your anthrax.
Melina: Well, I need it more than ever NOW...
Isadora: Shit.
Vesana: Dad? DAD?
Bronson: Bacon?
Melina: What is wrong with that guy.
Isadora: I don't know, Melina.
Melina: Oh thanks, Isa. Maybe I don't need my anthrax?
Bronson: Fried noodles! Pretty dress!
Melina: Yes I do...
Vesana: Lemme join ya, Melina. I think you'd like Elin too, she's a great kid...
Isadora: Shit. IDAAAAAAA!
(That was entirely too much dialogue, sorry)
Melina: Remember I could kill any single one of you, and you wouldn't see me coming.
Bronson: Satay stick!
Vesana: MUM!
Isadora: IDA!
Ida: Screaming? What screaming? I hear nothing.
Ida.
Ida: I cannot hear anything over that guy's fedora.
Understandable...
Melina: What do you mean, the whole town is immune to anthrax?
Isadora: Sad, isn't it...
Vesana: Yeah...Dad get back here!
Del: What's anthrax, Auntie Isadora?
Isadora: Don't even, Del.
Vesana: Kid...I recommended you to distant-relation Melina. Don't ruin my cred.
Elin: I only think my eventual obtaining of your soul.
Vesana: Well, shit, she's got more evil talk than me.
Elin: Naturally, sweetie.
Vesana: *splutters* She cannot-
Caiphus: Stop it, Elin. This isn't my fault.
Elin: I didn't say anything. *side-eyes*
Our caterer is old now. Oh well, she can still cook.
Vesana: Gabby II? You're still around? OK...HA you still live at Nyla's old house...you're gonna die alone.
Gabby II: I hate you.
(I just looked in her relationship panel to imagine who she could be talking to)
Matt: You're very pretty, Miss...
Addison:...Uh-huh...how old are you?
Isadora: Matt talked to the robot on his T-shirt.
Addison:...
Matt: Heh...of course that was when I was a child.
Isadora: What about Moony?
Matt: SHUT UP AUNTIE ISA...no, Moony, not you, never you.
Addison:...Bye.
Matt: WTF WHY AUNTIE ISA?
Isadora: Because I am sick of you and your household's shit, Matt.
Matt: HEY DISTANT-RELATION MEL.
Melina: Matt, I'm in here. That's a suit of armour.
Matt: MOONY SAYS IT AIN'T SO.
Melina: Stop talking in capital letters Matt!
Isadora: You're sweet, kid. Don't sweat it though, no murder for you.
Elin: You do not wish to obstruct me, Auntie Isadora. You may regret it.
Matilda: Oh what a sweet kid, Isadora! Is she yours?
Elin: I belong to nothing and nobody. I am my own boss and person, fool.
Matilda: She seems... wonderful.
Isadora: I blame my father.
Matilda: Um...
Elin: What sort of soul do you have, Mrs Bjergsen?
Matilda: You seem to have a dark one, Miss Elin.
Elin: Why thank you for the respect. That is an impressive quality. Maybe you shall be spared, Mrs Bjergsen.
Isadora: Ha! Kid's got a weak spot.
Elin:...Do you want to be the first, Auntie Isa?
Matilda: Well. Good luck, kid. At least you have ambitions, unlike Mr Bjergsen...
Elin: My birther told me that you once tried to bum a painting off her for vodka money, Mrs Bjergsen. Records show both of you are unemployed. I advise you to share blame.
Del: Oh snap. Ohhhh SNAP.
Elin: Silence, peon. Now, are you going to get your life together?
Matilda: *stews in anger* Seriously...? IDA! Why'd you tell your kids this stuff?
Isadora: Ida, your kids are f'ed.
Ida: I know.
Isadora: Sort them out?
Ida: SORRY WHAT? Can't hear you!
Haaaaaaiii Tia.
Tia: How am I even alive right now?
ELIANA MY BEAUTY.
Eli: Get...away from me.
Janelle: You two seem like wonderful kids!
Quinton: Why thank you Miss. You have pretty hair. Like my sister.
Del: It might be exactly the same as hers...
Janelle: Big family, huh?
Quinton: Yeah, there's lots of us...there's Matt over there.
Matt (offscreen, just next to them): MOONY! Bad boy! You can't say that!
Janelle: That's your brother...but you two are...
Del: Nice kids, we know! Now...
Quinton: And we have another sister! Her name's Elin and-
Janelle: The one who threatened to- yeah I gotta go, kids. Ummmm...have good lives.
Quinton: Whoops.
Del: Well f*cking done, Quinton.
Emmitt: ...
Lexie: I told her not to bring them all! I TOLD HER.
Matt: And I told her not to listen to you.
Bronson: Apples.
Vesana: Don't try and write my dialogue, you can't see my face.
Del (offscreen): I thought we weren't getting meta.
Vesana: It's 1pm. It's fine now.
Del (still offscreen): So is Harry Potter allowed to exist for us?
Emmitt: ...
Lyric is having a flirty spa bath.
Lyric: What? I might be about to pop but I can still WooHoo my husband.
Fair enough.
Lyric: Plus my rack looks fantastic.
OK, BYE.
Quinton: GET ME OUT.
Elin: Fool.
Lyric: Romeo, Romeo- HERE I COME!
Dude, would you shut up? This is Kailani's kid and he's an annoying asshole. Why isn't Ida allowed to come in and cook for her sisters and their families! I mean, one's pregnant and one's just stupid, sooo...
Elin: My birther is making stew for us. Please desist, distant relation Emerson.
Ida: Thank you, El.
Elin: Actually, your stew smells terrible...continue, Emerson.
Emerson: *whines like a whiny lil bitch*
Lexie: OMG we have a ceiling in here Lyric!
Lyric: Get this annoying anus out of this house, Watcher...f*ck I need the loo.
Get up then?
Lyric: I'M STUCK.
Lexie: *smirks* Backache?
Lyric: I will KILL you, little girl!
Lexie: With what? Your bump? You're not going to touch me.
Damn Lexie. That was pretty sassy.
Lexie: You...you complimented me?
Don't get used to it.
Elin: Sometimes my birther has outbursts, Mr Villareal. Don't mind her. She's special.
Emerson: *quivers* What are you gonna do to me...
Elin: Why, nothing, Mr Villareal. Nothing at all.
Emerson: *shudder*
GOOD. Shudder, little man, shudder.
Ellie (too many f*cking E names): I'm a Sutherland! You don't know me, but you want to because I'm pretty.
*goes into CAS*
Ellie is saved now. She is descended from Noah, I think. Oh well. Have a nice unseen life.
Ellie: Trust me, I will. You're annoying me already.
*pouts*
Sloane: This one isn't my house...right? Right? Um...
Matt: Party in the back.
Bronson: Don't be gross, Matt.
Sloane: Are you the one that's my husband?
Ida (offscreen): WHAT?
Ida: Lexie MOVE! I wanna see the TV.
Lexie: But IDA! This is my favourite place to stand.
Lyric: Hehe, now you know what I deal with each and every day...
I'm sorry Lyric! I am! I'M SORRY.
TV/Movie dude: Yooooo. Sick, brah.
What even are you?
Matt: Moony says he loves you today.
Quinton: *sigh* Love you too, bro.
Elin: Is...is this what my plans force me to miss out on? Oh.
Quinton: No, you do you, El. He's about to crack my back.
Matt: SQUEEEEEEZE.
Quinton: EEEE I have so much to live for stop!
Elin: I miss out on nothing.
Oh, if only you could witness the good kind of hug.
Lexie's house (actually, Lyric's house...I don't care if it originally belonged to that dick Emerson) is boring now, and Ida's eaten so we're visiting the park. Maybe Elin can socialise well then.
Elin: In your dreams.
OK what sort of hack park is this? These are two out of three other people here! The homeless guy and the lazy gardener? Da f? The third is old Yuki Behr playing chess alone. Le sigh...
Oh look. Club Cosplay. Lol...
Karter: I'll beat your ass with one eye closed. Boba Fetty Wap.
(ERB reference)
Elin: What do you mean there's a good kind of hugs?
Vesana: Take one step closer, motherf*cker. Try it. I dare you.
IT'S DISTANT RELATION FRANK.
I remember him from somewhere.
Matt: No, you hang up Moony!
Oh my gosh this gardener is pretty.
*goes into CAS*
She is now aged-down, saved and made-over. (I want her around for longer).
Karter is now Darth Vader...
Karter: You can't rhyme against the Dark Side of the Force, why even bother?
Rainn: I don't have an ERB reference to make. :(
Vesana: Hey Rainn. Meet your dad.
Rainn: You're reeeeeaaal funny.
Emmitt: I can't be in this family, I can't...*sings Final Countdown under breath, runs*
Lexie: *shrieks from balcony* GET BACK HERE MOTHERF*CKER.
Bronson: Apples?
Quinton: Yes Dad.
Ida: Leave the kid alone, Bronson. It's his birthday.
Bronson: Cake!
Quinton: That's your first thought... love ya too.
RIP Luna. How the shit were you still alive at this point? Maybe it's bc I took a three-week long break from playing at the start of this chapter...but it seems like you lived too long even for an active Sim.
Bronson: No more Tinder incidents...um I mean, RIP Mum?
What happened to the other gardener?
Jayla: I replaced her!
I liked her!
Jayla: Well tough luck then hon! Now get these two freaks outta my face.
They are two old widow/ers. Leave 'em ALONE.
Jayla: Get them AWAY! Star Wars is stupid!
Rainn: You. Did. Not!
Karter: You get 'em, daughter, I mean friend, I mean...
Elin: Eeeeevil....
-5.
Bronson: SATAY PORK BURGERS CHOCOLATE TACOS FISHBALLS
Vesana: MUUUUUMMMMM!
Ida doesn't respond. Vesa goes to watch a movie.
Vesana: *claps like a seal*
Ida ignores her daughter because she is busy being an...evil bunny.
WTF.
Bronson: Coofffffeeeeee
He is on his third (and won't go the fuck to bed. Damn him). Our record here at the Sutherland ISBI is six, set by Easton. *sigh*
Vesana: I smell like popcorn and failure.
Vesana: Achieve your dreams Delilah! Don't be like me!
Vesana stop being depressing.
Vesana: Watcher I've done NOTHING. I'm almost a YA and I've done NOTHING.
Wow Gamora's kid you're looking GOOD.
Bronson: Dear coffee, you have almost left me. *sniff*
Bronson: Whoopsy-daisy.
I knew that wouldn't end well.
TWINS AGE UP.
And now they are.
I really do like the twins. That's why I bothered getting Ida in there to celebrate.
About as functional as this Generation is ever gonna get!
Makeover time!
Del and Quinton, looking awesome as f. They're both Master Mixologists. Del is now Materialistic and a Perfectionist. Quinton is now a Dance Machine and a Genius.
If they were in a serious story, they'd be who want the same thing, but go about it different ways. Del just wants to make money and she's very exact and precise and careful. Quinton wants to mix for fun and loves to dance and party. He does as well as Del because he's way smarter than her.
But they're in this shitshow of an ISBI...so they'll just act really, really, stupid.
Matt: Why did you die, Grandpa? You could've helped us with our EVIL!
That's RYAN! You're mourning RYAN! He was crazy, but aside from that he only ever had it out for Wanda. *reminisces on Gen 2+3*
Quinton: Making my way downtown, to the yard, going to build my logic skill...
Be like Quinton, Matt.
I have to admit this is kinda sweet, though it would be sweeter if they were in a better location.
Amanda: You had to bring me here?
Don: Just accept it. This is the most action any of us have had in two centuries.
Amanda: True, true. *sigh*
Amanda: You are weak at the knees for me.
Don: You kicked me.
Amanda: Accept it!
Don: IT HURT.
Amanda: Well, fine. I'll just do some cleaning. ALL OF WHICH I DID WHEN WE WERE ALIVE.
Don: Quit your bitching!
Amanda: SHUT THE HELL UP.
Great. Well done guys.
Don: I done f*cked up...just me, this orange juice...and all these puddles! Gen 5+6 are SLOBS.
Shhh.
No Quinton! Fight it!
Quinton: Must...game...
*Luke Skywalker-style NOOOOOOOO*
Yes Matt. Do homework in the girls' room, where there are TWO PEOPLE SLEEPING (Elin is awake now...) instead of your room, where are desks and ZERO PEOPLE SLEEPING.
Goddamn it you're so stupid.
Yes Vesana. Tell every single one of your social media friends that you ate processed hotdog for breakfast. You're gonna look reeeeeal classy.
Vesana: I know! #health.
You're both stupid.
Bronson: MY FOOT IS WET.
Ida: BECAUSE YOU STEPPED IN LAST NIGHT'S PEE PUDDLE.
The twins are awesome. They're just way smarter than the other kids.
HAHA.
Del: Quinton, you're not even trying!
Quinton: I'm sleepy!
Oh shit.
Please don't pass out on me.
Quinton just go to bed!
Del: I wanna Happy Meal.
Quinton: Those are garbage.
Del: Says the person who ate cake for lunch.
Quinton: Touche.
Susanna: They're a sorry lot.
Vesana: That paving stone is worse than your hair, Matt.
Matt: Bite me. *yawns*
Elin: They do not represent me, nor my interests and character. Look at me for me, Ms East. Please understand my suffering...
Man down.
-5.
Elin? I didn't think you'd like homework.
Elin: Do not disturb me as I gather ideas.
From your first grade sums?
Elin: Of course not! Do you think I would hold myself back in this way! On this desk is a list of history's cruelest tyrants and their methods.
*backs away*
Every single one of you idiots has a good-quality bed.
Lyric's kids. Stephanie, Matthias and Tabitha. I've given up on following the vast majority of this huge family, but I am going to show Lyric and Isadora's kids (and Lexie's if she has 'em)
Elin: You have a desk, Delphina.
Del: Del-who?
Elin: Your name, you idiot!
Del: My name is DEL. DEL. Get back to 1+1, Elin.
Elin: I AM GATHERING IDEAS FOR TORTURE
Del: Hehe. You're funny when you're mad.
Elin: *seethes*
Elin (in the living room, with cake and a movie on): Love? What is this love? Curse you, Simder! What are you trying to show me...?
Bronson: I don't think that's appropriate for her, she's five...
Ida: Look, do you want to have all of me in this sauna or do you want to bitch?
Bronson: Yeah, when have we ever parented? Did you bring the hot stones?
Ida: That and the blindfold.
Bronson: Aw yes.
Elin: *gags* I HATE LOVE.
Poor child
Lexie...you're here? Didn't notice that...
Lexie: I'm going now. And you didn't even take one picture of me.
Good riddance.
Bronson put your clothes on.
Oh my gosh.
Quinton: Gotta go...
Ida: I'm feeling the breeze!
Bronson: Don't you wanna feel the breeze?
Quinton: *runs*
Glad to see you aren't too traumatised to clean, Quinton.
Quinton: I'm just gonna stare at this bath until I feel whole again, k Watcher?
And I will respect your wishes and leave you alone. I like you.
Scarlett: Hi-YA!
Blarffy: I'll sit there and take it. That's all I do. *existential stare into the void*
Bronson: Well. I really do crack myself up.
Ida: You're the only one, honey.
Vesana: B...-ed? What's a bed?
If I could I would reach in there and push you in.
Matt: What's this? Hey! Quinton! Get over here! Why'd you say that?
Del: Heh. *evil laugh*
Del: DIE HORSESHOES.
Lexie: Is...anyone gonna let me in? Ummm
Nah.
Um.
How?
Del: I kinda promised to help him punish Quinton for sending him a list of 'Why You're Stupid'.
Matt: Yeah! Fight.
Del: I definitely didn't do it. *winks*
Del: That failed.
Bronson: What happened?
Del: Matt found out that I lied to him and insulted him. There was an incident with a syringe and the woodchips in the horseshoe pit...
Bronson: *winces* Do you think crap tea is gonna resolve it?
Del: No. I'll call Auntie Lyric later.
Whoops. Sorry Lexie.
Lexie: *sobs alone with cake*
Lyric: *comes into room, prods her with stick and makes her go help with baby triplets*
Bronson's brother also got married.
Vesana: I wanna...steal things.
Vesana is now an evil kleptomaniac glutton.
Which means she's not heir.
One thing to do before we move her out: Wishing Well.
Vesana: Lexie gets a premade dude and I get some shitty moodlet that I can't even use because it's 1am? *kicks well*
Sorry. I tried. Bye.
Vesana now lives in the old Sutherland house in Oasis Springs. Lyric's house is too full so there goes that tradition. I see Vesana dying alone so there can be space for the spares at that old place.
Vesana: HEY!
Haha. See ya.
Score Sheet- 145
Bronson: Bish bosh! Bash! *gives bag a tiny little tap*
Wanda: I miss being alive...how is my granddaughter an adult and how are there so many great-grandkids? Also, Scarlett's driving me CRAZY...
I miss you, Wanda. :(
Wanda: And now my dad's haunting an incense burner...*sigh*
Ryan: Oh look, I'm in the floor.
RIP Pietro's daughter. She leaves behind four kids.
Elin: This game. It has stuck me in this gaming box, the peon.
You're the peon here. You got in there YOURSELF.
Elin: Shhh! I have enough aspirational smartness to overcome these pathetic autonomy mechanics.
Such big words for such a small girl...
Elin: I am mighty.
Easton: Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhh...I ANGRY!
That's just...no. Stop it, Easton.
Wanda: I'm going to punch something! And I'm gonna like it.
Mirror: Try me.
Matt: You know I'm funny, BLT.
(No you're not)
BLT: *screams and gasps for air* I'M DYING.
Matt: And that is what is so funny!
Elin (offscreen): Peon. *raises voice* Sandwiches don't talk, fool!
What are you Elin?
Elin: ISBI.
No, Ida is.
Elin: Do not link me and my genius to that thing you say birthed me.
Shut up Elin.
Del: There are bad vibes in this room, bro.
Elin: Murder...death...pain...morons...
At the museum.
Elin: Kill...rip...tear...
Bronson: Uhhh...this kid's a freaking Basilisk.
Del: Is Harry Potter allowed to exist for us?
Vesana: Don't get existential this early in the morning, kid.
Elin: Blood...slaughter...
Bronson: Ida help.
Ida: She looks like you and she's yours now.
I also called a club gathering.
Melina: *smirks* How did the bingo crowd like your dress, Adriana?
Adriana: Jokes on you, Melly. They loved it.
Ida's clothes are glitched...will restart soon.
Elin: Knock knock.
Quinton: Didn't know you liked jokes, El...who's there?
Elin: Your death.
Quinton: That's not how this works, El.
Elin: It is if I say it is, Quinton.
Vesana: You're married to that?
Isadora: I try to forget.
Vesana: MCCC...? Shit, I hope I'm heir...
Isadora: Yeah. That's a good hope to have, kid.
Caiphus: THIS ISN'T MY FAULT.
Isadora: I don't CARE, Caiphus.
Vesana: Oooohhh...
Couldn't resist.
Elin: I'm fairly sure if I had pulleys and a crane...something could be done.
Matt: Aha! You see! They told me I could never put a snapdragon on a potato! But I proved them wrong...
Del: ....
Matt: Do you not SEE, baby sister?
Del: Get away from me.
Melina: You have a problem, little girl?
Go away Mel.
Melina: *laughs to self* You can call me Mel if you wish for death. Now, if you'd excuse me, I need to find my anthrax...
Vesana: Someone pull this bush out of my leg.
Isadora: Mel...I didn't take your anthrax.
Melina: Well, I need it more than ever NOW...
Isadora: Shit.
Vesana: Dad? DAD?
Bronson: Bacon?
Melina: What is wrong with that guy.
Isadora: I don't know, Melina.
Melina: Oh thanks, Isa. Maybe I don't need my anthrax?
Bronson: Fried noodles! Pretty dress!
Melina: Yes I do...
Vesana: Lemme join ya, Melina. I think you'd like Elin too, she's a great kid...
Isadora: Shit. IDAAAAAAA!
(That was entirely too much dialogue, sorry)
Melina: Remember I could kill any single one of you, and you wouldn't see me coming.
Bronson: Satay stick!
Vesana: MUM!
Isadora: IDA!
Ida: Screaming? What screaming? I hear nothing.
Ida.
Ida: I cannot hear anything over that guy's fedora.
Understandable...
Melina: What do you mean, the whole town is immune to anthrax?
Isadora: Sad, isn't it...
Vesana: Yeah...Dad get back here!
Del: What's anthrax, Auntie Isadora?
Isadora: Don't even, Del.
Vesana: Kid...I recommended you to distant-relation Melina. Don't ruin my cred.
Elin: I only think my eventual obtaining of your soul.
Vesana: Well, shit, she's got more evil talk than me.
Elin: Naturally, sweetie.
Vesana: *splutters* She cannot-
Caiphus: Stop it, Elin. This isn't my fault.
Elin: I didn't say anything. *side-eyes*
Our caterer is old now. Oh well, she can still cook.
Vesana: Gabby II? You're still around? OK...HA you still live at Nyla's old house...you're gonna die alone.
Gabby II: I hate you.
(I just looked in her relationship panel to imagine who she could be talking to)
Matt: You're very pretty, Miss...
Addison:...Uh-huh...how old are you?
Isadora: Matt talked to the robot on his T-shirt.
Addison:...
Matt: Heh...of course that was when I was a child.
Isadora: What about Moony?
Matt: SHUT UP AUNTIE ISA...no, Moony, not you, never you.
Addison:...Bye.
Matt: WTF WHY AUNTIE ISA?
Isadora: Because I am sick of you and your household's shit, Matt.
Matt: HEY DISTANT-RELATION MEL.
Melina: Matt, I'm in here. That's a suit of armour.
Matt: MOONY SAYS IT AIN'T SO.
Melina: Stop talking in capital letters Matt!
Isadora: You're sweet, kid. Don't sweat it though, no murder for you.
Elin: You do not wish to obstruct me, Auntie Isadora. You may regret it.
Matilda: Oh what a sweet kid, Isadora! Is she yours?
Elin: I belong to nothing and nobody. I am my own boss and person, fool.
Matilda: She seems... wonderful.
Isadora: I blame my father.
Matilda: Um...
Elin: What sort of soul do you have, Mrs Bjergsen?
Matilda: You seem to have a dark one, Miss Elin.
Elin: Why thank you for the respect. That is an impressive quality. Maybe you shall be spared, Mrs Bjergsen.
Isadora: Ha! Kid's got a weak spot.
Elin:...Do you want to be the first, Auntie Isa?
Matilda: Well. Good luck, kid. At least you have ambitions, unlike Mr Bjergsen...
Elin: My birther told me that you once tried to bum a painting off her for vodka money, Mrs Bjergsen. Records show both of you are unemployed. I advise you to share blame.
Del: Oh snap. Ohhhh SNAP.
Elin: Silence, peon. Now, are you going to get your life together?
Matilda: *stews in anger* Seriously...? IDA! Why'd you tell your kids this stuff?
Isadora: Ida, your kids are f'ed.
Ida: I know.
Isadora: Sort them out?
Ida: SORRY WHAT? Can't hear you!
Haaaaaaiii Tia.
Tia: How am I even alive right now?
ELIANA MY BEAUTY.
Eli: Get...away from me.
Janelle: You two seem like wonderful kids!
Quinton: Why thank you Miss. You have pretty hair. Like my sister.
Del: It might be exactly the same as hers...
Janelle: Big family, huh?
Quinton: Yeah, there's lots of us...there's Matt over there.
Matt (offscreen, just next to them): MOONY! Bad boy! You can't say that!
Janelle: That's your brother...but you two are...
Del: Nice kids, we know! Now...
Quinton: And we have another sister! Her name's Elin and-
Janelle: The one who threatened to- yeah I gotta go, kids. Ummmm...have good lives.
Quinton: Whoops.
Del: Well f*cking done, Quinton.
Lexie: I told her not to bring them all! I TOLD HER.
Matt: And I told her not to listen to you.
Bronson: Apples.
Vesana: Don't try and write my dialogue, you can't see my face.
Del (offscreen): I thought we weren't getting meta.
Vesana: It's 1pm. It's fine now.
Del (still offscreen): So is Harry Potter allowed to exist for us?
Emmitt: ...
Lyric is having a flirty spa bath.
Lyric: What? I might be about to pop but I can still WooHoo my husband.
Fair enough.
Lyric: Plus my rack looks fantastic.
OK, BYE.
Quinton: GET ME OUT.
Elin: Fool.
Lyric: Romeo, Romeo- HERE I COME!
Dude, would you shut up? This is Kailani's kid and he's an annoying asshole. Why isn't Ida allowed to come in and cook for her sisters and their families! I mean, one's pregnant and one's just stupid, sooo...
Elin: My birther is making stew for us. Please desist, distant relation Emerson.
Ida: Thank you, El.
Elin: Actually, your stew smells terrible...continue, Emerson.
Emerson: *whines like a whiny lil bitch*
Lexie: OMG we have a ceiling in here Lyric!
Lyric: Get this annoying anus out of this house, Watcher...f*ck I need the loo.
Get up then?
Lyric: I'M STUCK.
Lexie: *smirks* Backache?
Lyric: I will KILL you, little girl!
Lexie: With what? Your bump? You're not going to touch me.
Damn Lexie. That was pretty sassy.
Lexie: You...you complimented me?
Don't get used to it.
Elin: Sometimes my birther has outbursts, Mr Villareal. Don't mind her. She's special.
Emerson: *quivers* What are you gonna do to me...
Elin: Why, nothing, Mr Villareal. Nothing at all.
Emerson: *shudder*
GOOD. Shudder, little man, shudder.
Ellie (too many f*cking E names): I'm a Sutherland! You don't know me, but you want to because I'm pretty.
*goes into CAS*
Ellie is saved now. She is descended from Noah, I think. Oh well. Have a nice unseen life.
Ellie: Trust me, I will. You're annoying me already.
*pouts*
Sloane: This one isn't my house...right? Right? Um...
Matt: Party in the back.
Bronson: Don't be gross, Matt.
Sloane: Are you the one that's my husband?
Ida (offscreen): WHAT?
Ida: Lexie MOVE! I wanna see the TV.
Lexie: But IDA! This is my favourite place to stand.
Lyric: Hehe, now you know what I deal with each and every day...
I'm sorry Lyric! I am! I'M SORRY.
TV/Movie dude: Yooooo. Sick, brah.
What even are you?
Matt: Moony says he loves you today.
Quinton: *sigh* Love you too, bro.
Elin: Is...is this what my plans force me to miss out on? Oh.
Quinton: No, you do you, El. He's about to crack my back.
Matt: SQUEEEEEEZE.
Quinton: EEEE I have so much to live for stop!
Elin: I miss out on nothing.
Oh, if only you could witness the good kind of hug.
Lexie's house (actually, Lyric's house...I don't care if it originally belonged to that dick Emerson) is boring now, and Ida's eaten so we're visiting the park. Maybe Elin can socialise well then.
Elin: In your dreams.
OK what sort of hack park is this? These are two out of three other people here! The homeless guy and the lazy gardener? Da f? The third is old Yuki Behr playing chess alone. Le sigh...
Oh look. Club Cosplay. Lol...
Karter: I'll beat your ass with one eye closed. Boba Fetty Wap.
(ERB reference)
Elin: What do you mean there's a good kind of hugs?
Vesana: Take one step closer, motherf*cker. Try it. I dare you.
IT'S DISTANT RELATION FRANK.
I remember him from somewhere.
Matt: No, you hang up Moony!
Oh my gosh this gardener is pretty.
*goes into CAS*
She is now aged-down, saved and made-over. (I want her around for longer).
Karter is now Darth Vader...
Karter: You can't rhyme against the Dark Side of the Force, why even bother?
Rainn: I don't have an ERB reference to make. :(
Vesana: Hey Rainn. Meet your dad.
Rainn: You're reeeeeaaal funny.
Emmitt: I can't be in this family, I can't...*sings Final Countdown under breath, runs*
Lexie: *shrieks from balcony* GET BACK HERE MOTHERF*CKER.
Bronson: Apples?
Quinton: Yes Dad.
Ida: Leave the kid alone, Bronson. It's his birthday.
Bronson: Cake!
Quinton: That's your first thought... love ya too.
RIP Luna. How the shit were you still alive at this point? Maybe it's bc I took a three-week long break from playing at the start of this chapter...but it seems like you lived too long even for an active Sim.
Bronson: No more Tinder incidents...um I mean, RIP Mum?
What happened to the other gardener?
Jayla: I replaced her!
I liked her!
Jayla: Well tough luck then hon! Now get these two freaks outta my face.
They are two old widow/ers. Leave 'em ALONE.
Jayla: Get them AWAY! Star Wars is stupid!
Rainn: You. Did. Not!
Karter: You get 'em, daughter, I mean friend, I mean...
Elin: Eeeeevil....
-5.
Bronson: SATAY PORK BURGERS CHOCOLATE TACOS FISHBALLS
Vesana: MUUUUUMMMMM!
Ida doesn't respond. Vesa goes to watch a movie.
Vesana: *claps like a seal*
Ida ignores her daughter because she is busy being an...evil bunny.
WTF.
Bronson: Coofffffeeeeee
He is on his third (and won't go the fuck to bed. Damn him). Our record here at the Sutherland ISBI is six, set by Easton. *sigh*
Vesana: I smell like popcorn and failure.
Vesana: Achieve your dreams Delilah! Don't be like me!
Vesana stop being depressing.
Vesana: Watcher I've done NOTHING. I'm almost a YA and I've done NOTHING.
Wow Gamora's kid you're looking GOOD.
Bronson: Dear coffee, you have almost left me. *sniff*
Bronson: Whoopsy-daisy.
I knew that wouldn't end well.
TWINS AGE UP.
And now they are.
I really do like the twins. That's why I bothered getting Ida in there to celebrate.
About as functional as this Generation is ever gonna get!
Makeover time!
Del and Quinton, looking awesome as f. They're both Master Mixologists. Del is now Materialistic and a Perfectionist. Quinton is now a Dance Machine and a Genius.
If they were in a serious story, they'd be who want the same thing, but go about it different ways. Del just wants to make money and she's very exact and precise and careful. Quinton wants to mix for fun and loves to dance and party. He does as well as Del because he's way smarter than her.
But they're in this shitshow of an ISBI...so they'll just act really, really, stupid.
Matt: Why did you die, Grandpa? You could've helped us with our EVIL!
That's RYAN! You're mourning RYAN! He was crazy, but aside from that he only ever had it out for Wanda. *reminisces on Gen 2+3*
Quinton: Making my way downtown, to the yard, going to build my logic skill...
Be like Quinton, Matt.
I have to admit this is kinda sweet, though it would be sweeter if they were in a better location.
Amanda: You had to bring me here?
Don: Just accept it. This is the most action any of us have had in two centuries.
Amanda: True, true. *sigh*
Amanda: You are weak at the knees for me.
Don: You kicked me.
Amanda: Accept it!
Don: IT HURT.
Amanda: Well, fine. I'll just do some cleaning. ALL OF WHICH I DID WHEN WE WERE ALIVE.
Don: Quit your bitching!
Amanda: SHUT THE HELL UP.
Great. Well done guys.
Don: I done f*cked up...just me, this orange juice...and all these puddles! Gen 5+6 are SLOBS.
Shhh.
No Quinton! Fight it!
Quinton: Must...game...
*Luke Skywalker-style NOOOOOOOO*
Yes Matt. Do homework in the girls' room, where there are TWO PEOPLE SLEEPING (Elin is awake now...) instead of your room, where are desks and ZERO PEOPLE SLEEPING.
Goddamn it you're so stupid.
Yes Vesana. Tell every single one of your social media friends that you ate processed hotdog for breakfast. You're gonna look reeeeeal classy.
Vesana: I know! #health.
You're both stupid.
Bronson: MY FOOT IS WET.
Ida: BECAUSE YOU STEPPED IN LAST NIGHT'S PEE PUDDLE.
The twins are awesome. They're just way smarter than the other kids.
HAHA.
Del: Quinton, you're not even trying!
Quinton: I'm sleepy!
Oh shit.
Please don't pass out on me.
Quinton just go to bed!
Del: I wanna Happy Meal.
Quinton: Those are garbage.
Del: Says the person who ate cake for lunch.
Quinton: Touche.
Susanna: They're a sorry lot.
Vesana: That paving stone is worse than your hair, Matt.
Matt: Bite me. *yawns*
Elin: They do not represent me, nor my interests and character. Look at me for me, Ms East. Please understand my suffering...
Man down.
-5.
Elin? I didn't think you'd like homework.
Elin: Do not disturb me as I gather ideas.
From your first grade sums?
Elin: Of course not! Do you think I would hold myself back in this way! On this desk is a list of history's cruelest tyrants and their methods.
*backs away*
Every single one of you idiots has a good-quality bed.
Lyric's kids. Stephanie, Matthias and Tabitha. I've given up on following the vast majority of this huge family, but I am going to show Lyric and Isadora's kids (and Lexie's if she has 'em)
Elin: You have a desk, Delphina.
Del: Del-who?
Elin: Your name, you idiot!
Del: My name is DEL. DEL. Get back to 1+1, Elin.
Elin: I AM GATHERING IDEAS FOR TORTURE
Del: Hehe. You're funny when you're mad.
Elin: *seethes*
Elin (in the living room, with cake and a movie on): Love? What is this love? Curse you, Simder! What are you trying to show me...?
Bronson: I don't think that's appropriate for her, she's five...
Ida: Look, do you want to have all of me in this sauna or do you want to bitch?
Bronson: Yeah, when have we ever parented? Did you bring the hot stones?
Ida: That and the blindfold.
Bronson: Aw yes.
Elin: *gags* I HATE LOVE.
Poor child
Lexie...you're here? Didn't notice that...
Lexie: I'm going now. And you didn't even take one picture of me.
Good riddance.
Bronson put your clothes on.
Oh my gosh.
Quinton: Gotta go...
Ida: I'm feeling the breeze!
Bronson: Don't you wanna feel the breeze?
Quinton: *runs*
Glad to see you aren't too traumatised to clean, Quinton.
Quinton: I'm just gonna stare at this bath until I feel whole again, k Watcher?
And I will respect your wishes and leave you alone. I like you.
Scarlett: Hi-YA!
Blarffy: I'll sit there and take it. That's all I do. *existential stare into the void*
Bronson: Well. I really do crack myself up.
Ida: You're the only one, honey.
Vesana: B...-ed? What's a bed?
If I could I would reach in there and push you in.
Matt: What's this? Hey! Quinton! Get over here! Why'd you say that?
Del: Heh. *evil laugh*
Del: DIE HORSESHOES.
Lexie: Is...anyone gonna let me in? Ummm
Nah.
Um.
How?
Del: I kinda promised to help him punish Quinton for sending him a list of 'Why You're Stupid'.
Matt: Yeah! Fight.
Del: I definitely didn't do it. *winks*
Del: That failed.
Bronson: What happened?
Del: Matt found out that I lied to him and insulted him. There was an incident with a syringe and the woodchips in the horseshoe pit...
Bronson: *winces* Do you think crap tea is gonna resolve it?
Del: No. I'll call Auntie Lyric later.
Whoops. Sorry Lexie.
Lexie: *sobs alone with cake*
Lyric: *comes into room, prods her with stick and makes her go help with baby triplets*
Bronson's brother also got married.
Vesana: I wanna...steal things.
Vesana is now an evil kleptomaniac glutton.
Which means she's not heir.
One thing to do before we move her out: Wishing Well.
Vesana: Lexie gets a premade dude and I get some shitty moodlet that I can't even use because it's 1am? *kicks well*
Sorry. I tried. Bye.
Vesana now lives in the old Sutherland house in Oasis Springs. Lyric's house is too full so there goes that tradition. I see Vesana dying alone so there can be space for the spares at that old place.
Vesana: HEY!
Haha. See ya.
Score Sheet- 145
Single Births (14) +70
Twin Births (3) +30
Aspiration Tiers (43) +215
Aspiration (5) +50
Grade A (4) +20
Randomising everything for 1 gen (3) +30
Every 100,000 simoleons (3) +60
Immortalise TH (1) +5
Immortalise TH (1) +5
Pass Out (58) -290
Self Wetting (15) -75
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