5.5 - Non-Defective Children?

5.5- Non-Defective Children?

Hello all. This chapter was SUPPOSED to start with the happy news that I got Outdoor Retreat, Movie Stuff and Romantic Garden Stuff (so the Sutherlands can have awesome boho clothes, movies vacations, tents, fountains and wishing wells), but Origin was like 'nah' and wouldn't let me PAY! I entered the CORRECT info so many times! I even checked on my bank website to make sure it was correct! WHY? I'm trying to GIVE EA money here! Come on!

*rant over*

Today Ida's new child is going to be born, and tbh I'm probably getting her pregnant again if it's a single.

Matt: Leroy and I are gonna explode you!

(Yaaass tradition-keeping!)

Blarffy: 'S like I said to the Gen 5 girls. You're all bark and no bite!

Matt: HEY. Leroy bites!

Vesana: Grandma this is unacceptable.

Scarlett: I'm grieving child.

*sigh* Uh-oh.

Amanda: Should I get the bear?

Wanda: Get. That. Bear.

Phew. I'm sick of fixing shit.

Bronson: Pl-please can you leave...?

Wanda: YOU WANNA CROSS ME, BOY? *rage face*

I am so proud of this guy right now. He started making eggs, realised he was smelly, took a bath and resumed the eggs! He didn't just start a new one and leave the bowl lying around!

Bronson: I'm awesome.

I was wondering where Wanda went and then I saw that she made chicken! She left us 7 plates of chicken! Awesome.

Bronson: THIS CHICKEN IS COVERED IN ECTOPLASM! WTF WOMAN?

Wanda: I can't control it, you keyed-up weirdo! NOW SCREW OFF AND LEAVE.

Bronson: I LIVE HERE.

Matt: *be trolling* EVERYONE MUST SHARE MY PAIN!

Scarlett: The thing is...yeah, we had an...interesting relationship, but I do miss him...

Then Vesa got accepted into Renegades. Lol.

Ida: It's times like this I wish didn't have to cook.

Camera pans...

Jaxson: AW SHIT. WESLEY WATCH. My wife ain't even here yet! I need ta be watched by someone!

Wesley: No WAY, I'm about to catch a trout!

Jaxson: You ain't catching nothing, Wes! WATCH ME DIE.

Wesley: You do know that I don't LIKE YOU.

Meanwhile...

Scarlett: Ohhhh! Framed photo of apple! You are the only one that understands me!

Isadora: Heheh...more death.

Second one, poor girl.

Grim: Get your pervert head out of my skirt- I mean ROBE! MY DEATHLY ROBE!

Isadora: Skirt? Well...yeah.

Wesley: YES HE'S GONNA LEAVE ME ALONE NOW! *cries with relief*

I don't even...

Isadora: HAHA! I have almost made a square!

White Shirt: Someone's dying? YAS.

White Shirt: DAMMIT. I shoulda brought my child over! Barbara, you idiot!

Jeannette (Galactus's daughter): Death? Oh get over it, losers.

Jeannette: WESLEY MY MAN! *sticks hand in ass*

Wesley: *sobs* I don't like any of you!

Isadora: Right, byeee. See you for the next death readers.

Barbara: Hot dog, hot dog, you're the one-!

Grim: I hate my job.

Scarlett: *gags* OK, I'm a crappy old lady stereotype. This tea is disgusting.

Ida: Lexie, move.

Lexie: What, like this? *jabs plate*

Ida: NO.

Lexie: I have a mouth, you have a mouth, I'm fabulous, let's be friends.

Vesana: My dear Auntie Lexie, you appear to be jabbing me in the arm. Desist before I take your plait and fling you in the river.

Ida: Guys my arm feels a little defective.

Vesana: You're a...a booger! Heeheeheee!

Ida: Vesa darling...when my dad wasn't being an asshole he was teaching me and Lyric how to do insults. Lemme dig up that stuff for you.

Ida: Aaaahahaha...they're hurting each other. Ooofff...I can't BREATHE! AHAHA DRAW THAT BLOOD!

This is where Ida's evil streak shows itself.

She soon was invited to the club by Isadora. So she brought Lyric, Bronson, Bronson's brothers and Galactus.

Ida: Br-br-break it down!

Bronson: Shimmy, shimmy...

Redhead: I'm doing the statue.

Lyric: You're all lame.

This is why we see Isadora lots more than we see you, Lyric.

Lyric: What-the-ever. Half of that is just cos she keeps witnessing deaths.

She's a distant relative to Ida, and she's so pretty. Kezia branch, I believe.

Gage/Ismael: Come and jooooin us brothaaaaaa...

Bronson: Ida and bro, what are you doing? This is so wrong.

Branson: Yeah the party don't start till I walk in!

Ida: Tik-tok!

Branson: Eeeyyyy gurl come dance with me...whoops that did not go to plan...

Sofia: Yeeeahh...I need a drink.

Hey! Karter's the bartender. Hi Karter!

Bronson: Do the claaaawwww!

Gage/Ismael: Hell yeah brah!

Ida: Ohhhhh man I'mma hurl.

Lyric: You're all soooo passe.

I knew I shouldn't have brought her. She's killing the vibe worse than that girl doing pushups.

Socks and Sandals: I GOT THE POWER

Lyric: Losers.

Sofia: So, you single?

Karter: Nah. And don't get any ideas from me, I'm as messed up as the rest of my family

Isadora and Kira: *being awesome*

Gage/Ismael: I can do it too!

Ghost: Wheeee!

Lyric: LOSERS.

And then we went home cos Ida and Bronson were getting tired.

Nyla married a young dude cos her old husband died.

Aaaand Karter knocked up his wife. Good going guys.

Apparently Eric died. He should have died ages ago, but I think he was active so he lasted forever. He was Noah's son, and was married to some barista for his whole life, and he never had any kids. His sisters Gabby and Ana are old now.

Ryan: Er...nice to meet you, my great-granddaughter!

Ida: SCREW OFF. I'm going to bed.

Ryan: Oh. Moody preggo alert then.

Ida: OH NO YOU DIDN'T-

Matt does his homework at 6am!

Matt: Pencils? Really? So lame. They don't even stab good!

Also he went into the other bedroom for...reasons...

Ida: Wh-wha- the, the spoon? What happened?

Lexie: HEHE! YES! I just called that other person a game-ruining glitch! HA.

Ida: Child, just cos I'm not outright cruel to you doesn't mean I like you.

Vesana: What-whatever. I don't care.

Ida: Which means don't sit here!

Vesana: Oh, I'm sorry Mummy. I just want to enjoy the fresh air.

Another party! I invited Gage and Ismael, cos I kinda love those guys. Also... yeah, I brought Lyric, even though she's a grumpy shit, and it appears ghost Wanda wants to get her freak on too.

Yup, Wanda is the life (?) and soul of the party.

Lyric: Hey there LOSER. Nice hat. NOT.

Galactus: Ida...you're looking great, congrats...but should you really be here?

Ida: Ohhhh Gally. I'm crazy, you know it. Don't sweat it, I'm cool.

Gage/Ismael: I can STARE.

Gage/Ismael: Well I stare better than you, other one!

So you've got everyone in the main party bit and all...and then you have Isadora doing this out on the path. Le sigh, le sigh, le f*cking sigh.

Ismael: Do the chicken do the chicken do the chicken.

Gage: Erm.

(I was finally un-lazy enough to work it out!)

Galactus: *crashes* OW! My beautiful pinkness!

Oh Lyric.

Lyric: Get OUTTA here, stupid little trash! I'll feed you to my raccoon!

Isadora: Come on, he has a nice hat.

Gulliver: You-you really think so? *sobs with delight*

Torch Holder on fire, Torch Holder on fire, this is not a drill!

Wanda: Get me like, the entire bottle and we'll be cool, Miss Bartender!

Ismael: Uhm.

Caiphus: What is she doing?

Lyric: Sister, that looks bad...like real bad.

Yeah, OK, guys, you're going home.

You look like someone died, not a happy (weeellllll....) couple cozying up in front of a bonfire. So...hometime.

Vesana: Nice moves, Matty dear.

Matt: You saw nothing.

Vesana: Right.

Matt: I was never dancing and you were never trying to actually make our mother like you.

Vesana: Hmmph. Deal.

Lexie: Ta-DA!

Errrr...I would like you if you never did that face again.

Lexie: No you wouldn't! AAAHHHH! *keeps face-ing*

Oh, look, one step closer to kicking you the hell out.

Vesana: I need the loo...duuuuhhhhh.

Uh-oh.

Ida: Honey, tell him he's a stupid little stringbean for me, K?

Bronson: Will do. Now...rage face!

Matt: TWO CAN PLAY AT THAT GAME OLD MAN. *RAGE FACE*

Bronson: YOU SMELL LIKE A BOOT!

Matt: DAD! It's OIL for LEROY.

Bronson: And your mother told me to tell you that you're a stupid little stringbean!

Matt: OH HAI, Lexie. You might be onto something with this non-evil, sane thing. Lemme try! *shoves head*

Lexie: You're not quite doing it right, Matt.

Matt: Leroy says I am!

Lexie: You're getting it EVEN more wrong, Matt.

Lexie: OH YES TWO WEEKS UNTIL I LEAVE.

Lexie: Well, lookee here. I'm being blinded by the birthday sparkles but I can still see that I'm hot.

Lexie: And compared to the actual TH I'm winning at life.

Ida: F*CK. This is just like last night.

Lexie: What happened last night?

Oh joy.

I had a Klepto teen in a 100BC and he kept stealing dirty plates from school.

I dislike her but I'm still making her over.

Oh, another Scarlett clone. Except with Easton's hair. I actually thought she looked like Ida but with the narrow nose...but she has Scarlett's face shape, body type and eyes, as well as the lips that all three share.

Tbh, I hate myself for spending this long on her. She took forever to customise! I even did all her outfits. Because...she's actually really pretty. Curse you Lexie.

At the pool!

Scarlett: INCOMING!!!!!

Lexie: BRONSON. MOVE. I'll take this for ya!

Bronson: You don't have to tell me twice Lara!

Lexie: Yeah, actually SCREW YOU. *pushes*

Tia: WHAT THE CRAP? I'm in a wall!

This is Elektra's daughter.

Caiphus: OH GOD CHLORINE IN MY EYE.

Isadora: Hehe. This reminds me of when we were little.

Ida: Exactly!

Pietro's daughter had two Surprise! babies. Esmeralda and Toni.

Matt: Oh come on! It's not like I threatened you with death or anything!

Frank: *sniff sniff* I'm not a LLAMA.

Matt: Psh. Wimp. No wonder I only like Vesa...crap crap crap don't tell her I said that!

Tia: For the last time, I don't want to do you in a rocket!

Wolfgang: But it shall be majestic!

Sunglasses: Girl isn't that your husband?

Haylee: Oh he dies tonight.

Sunglasses: Uhm.

Haylee: No, he's dying tonight. I checked MC and he's right at the end of the elder stage.

Wolfgang: Yeah guuuurll you look fine from down here.

Tia: One more word and this platform-y thingy lands on your HEAD.

Ida: Here's to no defective children?

Bronson: I ain't gonna hold my breath.

Maaike: Sure, land on a poor, weak old lady three days from death, why don't you?

Vesana: That's the plan you idiot!

Maaike: My hip! My arm! My everything!

Found Ida in...this! Wow.

I might actually change one of her outfits to that dress. Once she's not pregnant. It's not really working for her right now, but I see how it would...

Back home...

Matt: Leroy says Lexie's a llama! Hehehe he's sooooo funnnyyyyy!

Ida: *sigh*

Lexie: *stares at fork* To stab self with or not to stab self with?

Bronson: OH GOD baby baby baby!

Delphina: AGH. The sparkles. I'm blinded!

Ida: I got my daughter and I love her! Ohhhh...she's so cuuuuute! I love you Del.

Bronson: Ida, there's another crib.

Ida: No there isn't.

Quinton: EXCUSE ME MOTHER I EXIST!

Bronson *offscreen*: I would give you food and stuff but I wanna sleep now so bye.

Quinton: Wow. I really feel the love.

Delphina: Twin, are we even allowed to be sarcastic? We are like, 3 seconds old.

Quinton: I don't care Del! Mum birthed you! I just appeared here, and apparently I don't even exist! I can have sarcastic baby angst.

Delphina: Far out.

Quinton: I think I love you.

Lexie: So you're Del right?

Quinton: Love over.

+10. Twins? Are you kidding? She doesn't even have fertility treatment! But neither did Nat and she had Wanda and Pietro...

*huffs, ends chapter*